Asexual Awareness Week : prompts and discussion

[kahuna_burger]

So I missed posting this on the weekend, but this week is Asexual Awareness Week, which promotes understanding of asexual, aromantic and demisexual individuals. While I don't personally fall into any of those catagories, I do think awareness of the variety of human conditions is a good thing, both as people in general and as writers

Comments

[asphaltcowgrrl]

I definitely think it's a good thing to promote. It's something that is often misunderstood and as a word, misused. And truly, the more we learn about those around us, the more in-tune we'll be.

I'm actually working on a story for a friend - who identifies as ace - involving a demisexual character. So, this is a timely post. :)

[clarahow]

All of this is seconded. One of my former girlfriends is homoromantic asexual; we discovered that together doing Tumblr research back in high school (because she thought something was wrong with her and I was convinced that there must be a word for people who don't feel sexual attraction and voila - not that it's been an easy time, but knowing there was an actual, legit, valid sexuality that she identified with was very helpful for her).

Sidebar: would you mind if I reposted this/linked back from femslashagenda? I hadn't realized the Awareness Week was this week, but since we're all about representation for all queer/lgbtq+ identities, I should at the very least make a post about it over there.

[scribble_myname]

Question: as I understand it, indifference to sex is the defining characteristic not actually dislike and aversion. Is that right?

I accidentally wrote a character who by the definitions I've been able to dig up is asexual. She can take it or leave it as she says but draws the line at multiple orgasms. She'll have sex but she's not attracted sexually or anything; she uses it when appropriate according to her own fairly practical criteria and doesn't bother with it at other times.

I'm 90% sure she's asexual, but I kind of wanted to verify that with someone who's actually familiar from real life asexuals not just a textbook.

[guineamania]

Hey,
there is a very very very wide ace spectrum so it could be indifference or if could be as far to say disgust of sex.

I am personally a heteroromatic asexual (so I like to think I know what I am talking about) and my best definition for how I feel is like you said, aversion but in the community I know many people who vary across this spectrum.

I believe your character would be defined as ace, if she doesn't particularly care about sex or desire for it then that is still ace in my book.

[scribble_myname]

Thanks for the feedback. I've been a little on the fence with her because she does have a relationship and it does sometimes involve sex, for him though, not for her.

[guineamania]

It's fine :)
That is perfectly normal with being ace. I know one of my friends who describes sex in her relationship as making him happy. He knows that she doesn't desire sex but he does; for them it was about finding a balance probably quite like the one you describe!

[guineamania]

So this is very close to my heart and I thank you for posting this. It was a very hard time for me before I because aware of Asexuality as a concept

[yonkyu]

Thank you for sharing. I have heard of asexual but I never really understood it. Aromantic is completely new to me. I consider myself bisexual, but I'm not so sure anymore. This is a great topic to discuss and I am pulled in to learn more about various sexualities that I don't know about.

Thank you. Sorry if I sound stupid, but this is all new to me. I am currently single and I have only had one boyfriend in my life and it lasted 4 months. I enjoy pleasuring myself, but that's because it's the only pleasure I do get.

Anyway, I am fascinated to learn more about this and possibly define who I really am.