i think most of you will appreciate this much more:

snarkcity.blogspot.com

i swear, it's much funnier than this is, and i actually write in it. so come and play, because i think my lengthy relationship with livejournal has finally come to an end.

      “The truth is ( Read more... )

I can't use this journal to ask you (any of you) to go to Cavs games with me anymore. I can't use to to type up the way I feel after I've taken too many milligrams of Valium because I've been habitually waking up at 6pm since I was a kid. So starting with the very next entry, this is the half a page of nothing that I write every couple of days.

Does anybody want to go to the Cavs game with me on Saturday?
We'll talk a bunch of trash, we'll sit in trash seats, and we'll eat trash nachos!
(Hopefully I'll have my Sasha Pavlovic jersey by then!!!)

Q: What the fuck do I know about the Cold War?

A: Nothing.

Me and Cameron are on the front page of the Metro section of the newspaper!
If you can get the Plain Dealer, check it out, I look stupid in a cute kind of way.

Here, Jess:


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       I sat in the rain on the day that he left and briefly considered joining a convent. Briefly. I looked up at the sky the way they do in the movies, as if God looks down, deep into a pair of hopeful eyes and says "Baby, this one's for you," as some devastatingly handsome creature materializes around the corner and takes her away to do whatever ( Read more... )

I hate keg stands. I'm not good at them, I don't enjoy doing them. If you want the same effect, you could just hold me upside down by my feet and spray me in the face with beer. It's not cute when I do it, and beer up your nose feels awful. So stop asking me.

he really only likes me 'cause i'm slanty-eyed.

i only like me 'cause i'm slanty-eyed!

I had this dream last night that I was sitting on an RTA bus and I hit a detonator button that collapsed all these buildings that were standing in a circle. They looked like dominoes; but my circle of buildings corresponded with a circle of buildings in Rome that also exploded and fell to ground. And after the buildings in Rome collapsed, they ( Read more... )