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17_going_on_8

A Certain Kind of Sadness - Log with Beatrice

Sep 22, 2011 22:32

[He had made the necessary arrangements. As far as Ran and Kogoro knew, he was actually have to spend some time with his 'real parents.' A special trip. As did Jodie, just in case ( Read more... )

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17_going_on_8 November 2 2011, 04:45:04 UTC

[Seven days since they started. Seven days since he made the statements in red. Seven days of traveling to all sorts of times and places, most of the time him finding enjoyment with only the brief moments of his melancholy.]

[The final place was a place familiar to him. A private villa of his family's on Hawaii. He had made a call to his parents, saying he'd explain how he got to Hawaii later, but he needed the time to himself, so don't mind any unexpected charges from the house.]

[He figured he had two days before they were there. He'd be gone by tomorrow anyway.]

[But the place was private, at least a twenty minute walk to the small town on the island. So no one was likely to come by on their own. Not that he worried, making up lies to get rid of the locals would be easy enough.]

[So Conan took the time to enjoy the sea breeze, laying out on the porch, staring at the clouds above, knowing he would have to say something soon.]

bitchcrafts November 2 2011, 05:55:26 UTC

[ No.

No. No. No. She wouldn't wish this ending on her worst enemy, having lived through it herself. Her own heart breaking meant nothing in comparison to-- he was supposed to win. He was supposed to have that happy, beloved victory. He was the only one capable of finding that rare marble on the shore-- now that Beatrice could no longer find it.

Though she hid a broken heart, the one simple fact in red he had stated was more painful than any other truth.

Her most beloved person... was supposed to win, and like her, no longer could. ]

Done! bitchcrafts November 2 2011, 05:56:14 UTC

[ She'll wordlessly stand up to walk over and embrace him, tears running down her cheek. ]

17_going_on_8 November 2 2011, 06:02:41 UTC

[It had been a truth he wanted to deny. A truth he didn't want to face. Anything else in the world, anything else....!]

[He could deal with countless deaths. He could deal with the fact he could get an entire district killed with one slip up. He could deal with seeing tragedy and ugliness on a weekly basis. He could deal with psycho witches, sentient islands, and even things destroying him from within his own mind.]

[He could keep going, keep moving, and not stop.]

[But this one truth made him stumble, made him trip and need to just...be still, for a while.]

[And now that he's said it, faced the undeniable truth that his own body had betrayed him, denied him what he had strived for more than anything else...]

[It made him do things he'd never do. One was this trip. This trip to run away for a while and not face the truth. And now that he's said it, something else he hasn't remembered doing for a very, very long time.]

[He clung to Beatrice and let himself cry.]

bitchcrafts November 2 2011, 14:41:03 UTC

[ She was still far more childish than him in so many ways, ruining her face through the broken tears as she repeated, again and again; ]

I'm sorry...

[ One thousand years or just a few. Holding the hope for your happiest end and having it taken away from you, being a person made to love someone, all one can feel is that horrid pain. He didn't even have the blessing of being physically separated-- he would have to create that lie on his own time. Even if he had a thousand years to stall instead of just one week...

... nothing changed that pain. She cried for him. For that one, broken fact. For the things that would change for him, for... everything.

Now they were one in the same. ]

17_going_on_8 November 3 2011, 03:20:15 UTC

[When he had received the news, of what had occurred. What it meant for his fate. In truth, the lines between 'Edogawa Conan' and 'Kudo Shinichi' had begun to fade and blur. What did Kudo Shinichi have that Edogawa Conan didn't? Respect? Not as much, but he was getting there now. Skill? Compensated for temporarily. His family knew. No legal papers, but there were ways around that. Especially now. He was even bored in High School just as he was in elementary ( ... )

bitchcrafts November 3 2011, 03:52:11 UTC

It's never... ever fair...

[ She choked between sobs. You were meant to win, Conan. You were meant to win, Shinichi. And aside herself and despite herself, she would be applauding and cheering for your happiness when it came to be. Because you are more dear than love itself. Because she could see the love of your story, the little glass marble was yours for the taking, and hers was to let the warm tide take.

That horrible truth was that the bitter was attracted to sweet, and when the two combined, all it left was a broken heart in its wake. What was so sweet about something bittersweet? What had been sweet about the ending to her story-- that there had been justice to it? But there was no justice here.

Just the laws... of the world... that nothing was true. ]

But... no matter how unfair...

... to both of us...

[ She couldn't finish the sentence. A single line of support wasn't going to change a thing. But now it solidified her cement into something harder than diamond. As long as he needed a friend, she would be there. Even if ( ... )

17_going_on_8 November 8 2011, 07:21:13 UTC

[It didn't need to be clear. Because it was ultimately why she went to Beatrice. Before Haibara had ever been cursed, she had lost that last precious thing. Everyone else was too honest. Even Kaitou Kid the thief was more honest in his existence, because he could be either one at the moment ( ... )

bitchcrafts November 8 2011, 09:17:27 UTC

Never thank me. [ She whispered back, quietly.

She knew it would be a long time before she saw him smile again-- a real smile that wouldn't be interrupted by thoughts as to why he shouldn't be smiling; and honestly, she had become the same in that respect. Her act had just gone on a little bit longer.

She wanted, more than anything, to protect him. To help him, as this would be the greatest challenge of his entire life, and the greatest pain.

If she could see the day those wounds healed, even if it left a scar, there would still be something she could remain hopeful for.

So she would live for that moment, even if both had lost those marbles on the shore. ]

17_going_on_8 November 17 2011, 22:45:42 UTC

[He could argue how he should. How he wanted too. Even if she 'owed him,' it was also true he owed her. He had given her someone that knew on the Island that wouldn't just make him focus on the secrecy like Haibara. Someone who could be a friend, without his body being in the way and that had meant more to him than he might even fully understand. She was someone who, despite her own views, understood he wasn't going to just give up on his belief that all life was sacred ( ... )

bitchcrafts November 17 2011, 23:14:34 UTC

[ Though her own face was blotched with tears, her breathing had finally become steady, because she felt she finally understood how strong she needed to be.

'She' had become Beatrice, just as he had become Dante.

That meant she had a solitary purpose. For now, they start at the tips of hell, and while he would force himself to walk, she would attempt to guide him the path out, eventually. Through purgatory. She would be the woman of the summit. It was suddenly so easy to see how her role had changed and yet stayed the exact same, except for a different person.

There was no guarantee the path would follow the same as the lore. There was no red promise of success, though she understood so well that there was no option of failure. No matter what, guide 'Dante' out of hell. Their hell. The one Beatrice spent staring into for a thousand years, and once he walked through it, a literal thousand years or not, he'd know those same footsteps they tread ( ... )

17_going_on_8 November 18 2011, 00:00:03 UTC

...water. [Slowly pulling away and does just...look miserable. With red and puffy eyes and just looking so drained. He was reluctant to even pull away, but after that much crying, he needed it.]

[And besides that, he still hadn't really told her what had happened. Just what it meant.]

((OOC: ...sob, that picture makes me want to cry.))

bitchcrafts November 18 2011, 00:08:41 UTC

Water.

[ Suddenly, it'd be on the table behind them. An act of magic, but like a tree falling in the forest with no one to hear it, no one could say whether it was magic or if the drink had simply been set there before.

She'd reach for it and hand it to him. ]

[ ooc; this entire thread has made me cry more than once, so it got emotional fanart out of me T_T ]

17_going_on_8 November 18 2011, 00:13:17 UTC

Thank you. [Takes the drink, not even bothering to question it's origins, and drinking. Whether it had been there before or not didn't matter, because it was here now.]

[No longer needing to get up, he choose to stay beside her, leaning on her for support.]

Before the trip... [His voice it still a bit hoarse, but the water had been soothing enough that it didn't feel like he was speaking through cotton.] You might have noticed I was missing for a few days. I wasn't taking any calls at the time, and I asked Haibara not to tell anyone the real reason.

bitchcrafts November 18 2011, 00:27:26 UTC

... yes, I noticed. [ She responds quietly, waiting for him to go on. ]

17_going_on_8 November 18 2011, 00:30:58 UTC

It was a test run. Haibara works on the cures and I take them for her to collect data. So we can find a real cure. And I had a small cold, so even better for me to take it then.

Except...something went wrong. We didn't even realize it at first because it's not like the pain is a surprise. Changing size like that with a drug, it's only to be expected.

But even though I felt the pain, I wasn't changing.

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