One particular Christmas a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his
annual trip, but there were problems everywhere.  Four of his elves got
sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular
ones, so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.
Then Mrs. Claus told him that her her Mom was coming to ( Read more... )

Can't eat Beef, Mad cow....
>
>
>
>Can't eat chicken . bird flu
>
>Can't eat eggs ... Salmonella
>
>Can't eat pork ... fears that bird flu will infect piggies
>
>Can't eat fish ... heavy metals in the
>waters has poisoned their meat
>
>Can't eat fruits and veggies ... insecticides and herbicides
>
>Hmmmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>
>M
>
>M
>
>M
>
>M
>
>M
> ( Read more... )

Top 17 Bumper Stickers You Would Like To See

Jesus loves you...but everyone else thinks you are an ass.

Impotence...Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings,"

The proctologist called
...they found your head.

Everyone has a photographic memory
...some just don't have any film.

Save your breath...You'll need it to blow up your date.

Your ridiculous little
( Read more... )

 1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when
>>women make love they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen, which
>>makes hair shine and skin smooth.
>>
>>
>>   =============
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>   2. Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering
>>dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat
>>
>>   produced ( Read more... )

From: Staff Communications

To: all personnel

Subject: New Policies

DRESS CODE:

It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary.

If   we see you wearing Prada sneakers and carrying a Gucci Bag we assume  that
  you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise.
  If you dress poorly, ( Read more... )

 9 Things I Hate About Everyone

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the tv remote because they refuse to walk to the tv and change ( Read more... )

1. Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine .
2. A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
3. Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
4. Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
5. Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
6. A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
7. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
8. Dancing cheek- ( Read more... )

Tale Of The Blonde Horseback Rider

A young blonde woman decides to try horseback riding, even though she 
has had
no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse, unassisted, and 
the horse
immediately springs into action. As it gallops along at a steady and 
rhythmic pace,
the blonde begins to slip from the saddle.  In terror, she grabs for
( Read more... )

One morning up at Big Island Lake, Roger returns after several hours of ( Read more... )

Two blonde girls were working for the city public works department ( Read more... )