[Oneshot] Bestest Girlfriends {Crossing Jordan}
TITLE: Bestest Girlfriends
FANDOM: Crossing Jordan
AUTHOR: nicis_anatomy
CHARACTER: Garret Macy, Jordan Cavanaugh (mention Jordan/Woody)
GENRE: gen, angst, friendship, episode tag for 5.03
RATING: PG
WORD COUNT: 1,795
SUMMARY: Jordan needs someone to comfort her, and Garret is the one showing her that she's not alone. But, in reality, he is the one needing someone to hold on to ... Written for prompt #07 "A Different Corner" for 12_stories and prompt #093 "Caring" for 100_tales.
WARNING: English still isn't my native language (although I wish) and the story is not beta'd. Spoiler for 5.03 Under the weather".
DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters. I just borrow them from time to time to have some fun with them.
"You are the only one
to stop my tears
And I'm so scared."
~*~*~*~*
"Hold on. Just hold on!" That's what I told Jordan, earlier, when we found her and the kids down in the mine.
I'm not sure, if she knows that I meant it, that I meant every word: "Hold on - for now, for ever, for the rest of your life (Because I need you and because I can’t lose you - again)."
Working with Jordan, doing our job isn’t always easy. We both know it and we knew it when we took this job. Some days are okay (somehow); some days are worse than others ... and today was one of them.
Never before was I so worried about her as I was today. And I really was scared and angry. Scared because I thought she was dead, murdered or buried alive in that mine; angry because she didn't follow my rules. Well, I know this is something she never does but still … it was dangerous and reckless and maybe even selfish of her (or am I the one being selfish now, because I am scared to lose her?). I know that’s how she is and nothing can ever change it. If she would change, if she would start following rules, I know that I would be even more scared about her. If she would change, she wouldn't be that Jordan anymore, I know, the Jordan I love in this very special way.
I watch her standing there with this little boy she rescued earlier. She looks tired, very tired, but she is still the Jordan, I know for so long. And she looks happy, proud of what she did earlier. She doesn't care much about herself or her condition; she only cares about others - as she does in the moment, comforting Todd, although she looks like she would break down every minute, because her legs won’t support her any longer. She hugs the little boy, telling him that he did a great job, and makes him feel proud, special. That’s my Jordan …
But she is the one, who did this great job. She found and rescued the two boys, although she is still sick. Sick, tired and injured - I noticed this small bruise on her cheek, earlier. I know it's nothing that important or life-threatening dangerous, but it proves that Jordan is vulnerable, too. And so does her expression. She tries to smile, show everyone that she is all right. But she isn't. I know it, because I know her better than anyone else - maybe better than Woody or Max do.
Woody ...
I see him approach and I don't know how to feel about this. I know that Jordan loves him - not in a way she maybe loves me, so I shouldn’t be jealous or afraid that I could lose her to him, but it worries me anyway. I’m worried about her and I'm not sure, if Woody is still worthy to be loved by her. He changed. Jordan's little farm boy has changed completely. He is only half the man he was before. If I wanted to be unfair, I'd call him a moron. But I know what he is going through. Being shot, unsure, if he would ever be able to walk again, is one of the worst things that ever could happen to a man, a cop, especially when something similar happened to this cop's dad.
I understand why Woody has changed so much and what he is going through (or, at least, I have an idea of how he must feel), but I wish he would take Jordan's hand, and let her lead him through this. I know she could be strong enough for both of them, as does Woody. But he keeps his distance, this cold expression on his face I still have to get used to.
I watch them talk for a while, fighting the urge to walk over to them and taking Jordan’s side. It would be wrong to interfere, I know that - but my heart doesn’t …
Finally, Woody leaves her alone, and I can see the sad expression on her face again. For a tiny moment there seemed to be a flicker of hope in her eyes, but it vanished the moment Woody left her.
Now it's finally my turn.
I step up to her and tell her that Danny (the second boy whose life she’s saved today) has been brought to Boston General. I can see her relief. She really is glad that the boys are okay. Again, she only cares about others and again, I have this urge to yell at her and hug her at the same time. Jordan does this to me. A lot.
"That was stupid and reckless, what you did." Even before I notice it, I'm playing the bad guy. I don't want to, but I have to. This has to be discussed. And if we don't do it now, we'll never do it. "You know that. You don't listen to me."
She shakes her head, tries to explain, while she has tears in her eyes. "Come on, Garret ..."
"You do what you want." Now it's time to be her bestest girlfriend again. I can feel it and I no longer can hide it. My voice is calm, almost a whisper. "If you hadn't this time, those boys wouldn't be alive, right now."
I can see that she tries to argue with me. But then she realizes what I just said. So do I, and I'm not sure, if this was a clever move. But (as always, when I have to deal with Jordan) I couldn't stop the words from leaving my mouth. And, after all, they are true. Everything is true - what I told her, and what I didn't tell her.
"All in a day's work," she answers, her lips forming a shy smile. "No big deal."
Yes, she's right. It is our every day's job; to bring some joy and happiness in other people's life. This should be everyone's job. But she is always wrong. Living like that is a big deal.
"I'm still your boss, and I'm telling you it was a big deal." I put both of my hands on her shoulders to steady her. "Own it," I add seriously. This is something I mean, too. Jordan is doing big deals with nearly every breath she's taking, every single day. But she doesn't know it, does not acknowledge it. Someone has to tell her that she is important, that there are people, who care about her, who know that she is a great woman.
I do. I care for her, maybe more than I should.
"I don't know what I would have done, if something had happen to you." Lowering my head, I swallow hard. I can’t believe that I just said this. Of course, it is true and I wanted her to know that there is at least one person in the world who would miss her (besides of Max and Woody, who both seemed to be unwilling to admit their feelings to her, and her friends, Jordan most of the time takes for granted - but still loves).
Jordan looks at me, her eyes filled with shock and ... tears. There are tears in her eyes, and she swallows hard, too. I have shocked her and for a second I wish I could take it back. But then I realize that it was just what she needed. Right now she realizes how dangerous it was, what she did earlier. She could have died. She could’ve been lost down there forever - or killed. Slowly, the adrenaline that had kept her moving on is vanishing weakening her by the second.
I pull her my arms, hugging her like there’s no tomorrow. Her whole body is shaking. She's crying. There were only a few moment I ever saw Jordan cry. I don't want her to be sad; I don't want her to cry. She should be happy. She is still young and should enjoy her life. I pull her closer, bury my face in her hair, and comfort her - and me, too; maybe I am the one who really needs this comfort. It is true; I wouldn't have known what to do without her in my life. I need her to be there, every day. I need her and her stubbornness. Without her around, I wouldn't know how to live on. I missed her during the eight weeks Slokum had my job. I missed Lily, Bug, Nigel and Sidney, too, but most of all I missed Jordan.
But she also needs someone to hold her, to comfort her right now. She needs me like the flowers needs the rain, like people need to breath. My arms are around her and hold her tight, scared that she will slip away, and relieved that she didn't do this earlier.
"Shh, don't cry," I whisper in her hair, unsure, if she can hear me. But it doesn't matter. To be honest, I'm not sure, if I even want her to hear my words. I want her to know that I care for her, that I'm there for her, but I also want her to know that I'm her boss, and that she has to respect me. And I know she does - if not before, then after I told her a few minutes ago. It should be enough. I don’t want to shock her even more or scare her enough to run away. I know she can do this (it happened before).
"Garret?" her low voice whispers in my ear. "Thank you."
"You're welcome, Jordan. You're welcome ...," I murmur, my face still buried in her hair. As often, my fears were for nothing, and it’s Jordan who tells me everything is all right. This time, I believe her without a doubt.
I'm not sure for how long we stood there, holding each other, crying silent tears; tears of relief, of pain, of happiness. I don't even register the people around us; police men, fire fighters, paramedics. For what seems like an eternity there is only Jordan and me; the bestest girlfriends, ever.
"Come on, I will get you a beer, or two," I say after a while, putting some space between us. Carefully, I look at her. She is still shaking. Her eyes are red and swollen, as if she'd been crying for ages. Maybe she did. My heart sinks. She looks so tiny, so tender and vulnerable.
"That would be ... nice." Her voice fails, and she wipes back her tears, trying to hide them. But she doesn't have to hide them. I know that they're there and I don’t mind. This vulnerability is a part of Jordan, it defines her and it makes her Jordan. My Jordan.
- The End -
FANDOM: Crossing Jordan
AUTHOR: nicis_anatomy
CHARACTER: Garret Macy, Jordan Cavanaugh (mention Jordan/Woody)
GENRE: gen, angst, friendship, episode tag for 5.03
RATING: PG
WORD COUNT: 1,795
SUMMARY: Jordan needs someone to comfort her, and Garret is the one showing her that she's not alone. But, in reality, he is the one needing someone to hold on to ... Written for prompt #07 "A Different Corner" for 12_stories and prompt #093 "Caring" for 100_tales.
WARNING: English still isn't my native language (although I wish) and the story is not beta'd. Spoiler for 5.03 Under the weather".
DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters. I just borrow them from time to time to have some fun with them.
"You are the only one
to stop my tears
And I'm so scared."
~*~*~*~*
"Hold on. Just hold on!" That's what I told Jordan, earlier, when we found her and the kids down in the mine.
I'm not sure, if she knows that I meant it, that I meant every word: "Hold on - for now, for ever, for the rest of your life (Because I need you and because I can’t lose you - again)."
Working with Jordan, doing our job isn’t always easy. We both know it and we knew it when we took this job. Some days are okay (somehow); some days are worse than others ... and today was one of them.
Never before was I so worried about her as I was today. And I really was scared and angry. Scared because I thought she was dead, murdered or buried alive in that mine; angry because she didn't follow my rules. Well, I know this is something she never does but still … it was dangerous and reckless and maybe even selfish of her (or am I the one being selfish now, because I am scared to lose her?). I know that’s how she is and nothing can ever change it. If she would change, if she would start following rules, I know that I would be even more scared about her. If she would change, she wouldn't be that Jordan anymore, I know, the Jordan I love in this very special way.
I watch her standing there with this little boy she rescued earlier. She looks tired, very tired, but she is still the Jordan, I know for so long. And she looks happy, proud of what she did earlier. She doesn't care much about herself or her condition; she only cares about others - as she does in the moment, comforting Todd, although she looks like she would break down every minute, because her legs won’t support her any longer. She hugs the little boy, telling him that he did a great job, and makes him feel proud, special. That’s my Jordan …
But she is the one, who did this great job. She found and rescued the two boys, although she is still sick. Sick, tired and injured - I noticed this small bruise on her cheek, earlier. I know it's nothing that important or life-threatening dangerous, but it proves that Jordan is vulnerable, too. And so does her expression. She tries to smile, show everyone that she is all right. But she isn't. I know it, because I know her better than anyone else - maybe better than Woody or Max do.
Woody ...
I see him approach and I don't know how to feel about this. I know that Jordan loves him - not in a way she maybe loves me, so I shouldn’t be jealous or afraid that I could lose her to him, but it worries me anyway. I’m worried about her and I'm not sure, if Woody is still worthy to be loved by her. He changed. Jordan's little farm boy has changed completely. He is only half the man he was before. If I wanted to be unfair, I'd call him a moron. But I know what he is going through. Being shot, unsure, if he would ever be able to walk again, is one of the worst things that ever could happen to a man, a cop, especially when something similar happened to this cop's dad.
I understand why Woody has changed so much and what he is going through (or, at least, I have an idea of how he must feel), but I wish he would take Jordan's hand, and let her lead him through this. I know she could be strong enough for both of them, as does Woody. But he keeps his distance, this cold expression on his face I still have to get used to.
I watch them talk for a while, fighting the urge to walk over to them and taking Jordan’s side. It would be wrong to interfere, I know that - but my heart doesn’t …
Finally, Woody leaves her alone, and I can see the sad expression on her face again. For a tiny moment there seemed to be a flicker of hope in her eyes, but it vanished the moment Woody left her.
Now it's finally my turn.
I step up to her and tell her that Danny (the second boy whose life she’s saved today) has been brought to Boston General. I can see her relief. She really is glad that the boys are okay. Again, she only cares about others and again, I have this urge to yell at her and hug her at the same time. Jordan does this to me. A lot.
"That was stupid and reckless, what you did." Even before I notice it, I'm playing the bad guy. I don't want to, but I have to. This has to be discussed. And if we don't do it now, we'll never do it. "You know that. You don't listen to me."
She shakes her head, tries to explain, while she has tears in her eyes. "Come on, Garret ..."
"You do what you want." Now it's time to be her bestest girlfriend again. I can feel it and I no longer can hide it. My voice is calm, almost a whisper. "If you hadn't this time, those boys wouldn't be alive, right now."
I can see that she tries to argue with me. But then she realizes what I just said. So do I, and I'm not sure, if this was a clever move. But (as always, when I have to deal with Jordan) I couldn't stop the words from leaving my mouth. And, after all, they are true. Everything is true - what I told her, and what I didn't tell her.
"All in a day's work," she answers, her lips forming a shy smile. "No big deal."
Yes, she's right. It is our every day's job; to bring some joy and happiness in other people's life. This should be everyone's job. But she is always wrong. Living like that is a big deal.
"I'm still your boss, and I'm telling you it was a big deal." I put both of my hands on her shoulders to steady her. "Own it," I add seriously. This is something I mean, too. Jordan is doing big deals with nearly every breath she's taking, every single day. But she doesn't know it, does not acknowledge it. Someone has to tell her that she is important, that there are people, who care about her, who know that she is a great woman.
I do. I care for her, maybe more than I should.
"I don't know what I would have done, if something had happen to you." Lowering my head, I swallow hard. I can’t believe that I just said this. Of course, it is true and I wanted her to know that there is at least one person in the world who would miss her (besides of Max and Woody, who both seemed to be unwilling to admit their feelings to her, and her friends, Jordan most of the time takes for granted - but still loves).
Jordan looks at me, her eyes filled with shock and ... tears. There are tears in her eyes, and she swallows hard, too. I have shocked her and for a second I wish I could take it back. But then I realize that it was just what she needed. Right now she realizes how dangerous it was, what she did earlier. She could have died. She could’ve been lost down there forever - or killed. Slowly, the adrenaline that had kept her moving on is vanishing weakening her by the second.
I pull her my arms, hugging her like there’s no tomorrow. Her whole body is shaking. She's crying. There were only a few moment I ever saw Jordan cry. I don't want her to be sad; I don't want her to cry. She should be happy. She is still young and should enjoy her life. I pull her closer, bury my face in her hair, and comfort her - and me, too; maybe I am the one who really needs this comfort. It is true; I wouldn't have known what to do without her in my life. I need her to be there, every day. I need her and her stubbornness. Without her around, I wouldn't know how to live on. I missed her during the eight weeks Slokum had my job. I missed Lily, Bug, Nigel and Sidney, too, but most of all I missed Jordan.
But she also needs someone to hold her, to comfort her right now. She needs me like the flowers needs the rain, like people need to breath. My arms are around her and hold her tight, scared that she will slip away, and relieved that she didn't do this earlier.
"Shh, don't cry," I whisper in her hair, unsure, if she can hear me. But it doesn't matter. To be honest, I'm not sure, if I even want her to hear my words. I want her to know that I care for her, that I'm there for her, but I also want her to know that I'm her boss, and that she has to respect me. And I know she does - if not before, then after I told her a few minutes ago. It should be enough. I don’t want to shock her even more or scare her enough to run away. I know she can do this (it happened before).
"Garret?" her low voice whispers in my ear. "Thank you."
"You're welcome, Jordan. You're welcome ...," I murmur, my face still buried in her hair. As often, my fears were for nothing, and it’s Jordan who tells me everything is all right. This time, I believe her without a doubt.
I'm not sure for how long we stood there, holding each other, crying silent tears; tears of relief, of pain, of happiness. I don't even register the people around us; police men, fire fighters, paramedics. For what seems like an eternity there is only Jordan and me; the bestest girlfriends, ever.
"Come on, I will get you a beer, or two," I say after a while, putting some space between us. Carefully, I look at her. She is still shaking. Her eyes are red and swollen, as if she'd been crying for ages. Maybe she did. My heart sinks. She looks so tiny, so tender and vulnerable.
"That would be ... nice." Her voice fails, and she wipes back her tears, trying to hide them. But she doesn't have to hide them. I know that they're there and I don’t mind. This vulnerability is a part of Jordan, it defines her and it makes her Jordan. My Jordan.
- The End -