Meta on Missionaries, their rules, and the Church's attitude towards their work force

[stoney321]

(This is not an excerpt, just answers to some questions I've been asked about missionaries. There is a portion of the book dedicated to the Mission process, as I - before I was married - almost left for a mission of my own. Thank [the god of your choice] that I didn't go.)

Comments

[moosesal]

Jesus having been married to Mary Magdalene,

So they believe he was married to her or not? I wasn't clear by the way you stated this. I'm personally of the opinion that Jesus should have been getting some. All that stress on him, the least he deserved was a blowjob or two. Right?

[stoney321]

Oh, yeah, Jesus was married to her in the LDS religion. (And right on: all that stress? Judas and Peter duking it out over his favor... I'm just saying.)

[moosesal]

So I guess they had babies and there are Mormons who consider themselves direct descendants from Jesus. Am I right? Am I right? :)

I kinda want an icon of Jesus that says "blow me".

[stoney321]

And one of them is....

TOM HANKS!

Hahahahaha, they've never gone that far, although Jesus - by Mormon rules - would have spirit babies up in heaven, because good angels get to bone in the after life.

[tabaqui]

God, these posts make me want to *hurt* people. Very, very badly. GODS.

[stoney321]

It's so awful, right?!

[graylor]

So I can just look at roving Mormon missionaries as out-of-season trick-or-treaters? "Aw, honey, don't you two look sweet in your suit--have some ice water and a tomato sandwich." Though I doubt they'd have much interest in witnessing to me: a single woman, alone--surely that would be an Occasion for Sin, and thus avoided, yes?

Seriously, the whole thing of sending out kids to bring religion to the unwashed masses has always seemed more about mentally breaking down said kids rather than evangelizing. The elders know the missionaries are going to fail to get a baptism most of the time, will be mocked, will suffer pointless privation... and then go home and cling to the "elect" because outsiders are so mean.

[enigmaticblues]

I just feel awful for these people. Granted, I was raised evangelical, but I moved away from home and eventually made my own decision on my faith. I never felt this sort of pressure.

IMHO, if your religion is actually causing a spike in depression, you're doing it wrong.

[thebratqueen]

I love how according to the rules full-court basketball is a sin, but half-court is okay.

[stoney321]

Isn't that hilariously bizarre? I think I asked a missionary about that once, and he mumbled something about it being less taking on your heart, or you only had to pay attention to a little bit of the court, leaving the rest of your brain free to keep an eye out for Satan. Or contacts. *eye roll*

SO STUPID.

[thebratqueen]

The best part is that you know it's there because somebody brought it up. Either that or they're a big Sam I Am fan.