I'm impatient for arms to hold me, lips to touch mine, and a warm body to be against. I count the days on my fingers and damn the hours for being so long; I never knew I could miss someone so badly, or be so desperate for their affection. I need someone to feed my appetite for human contact, it's been quite a while since I've heard the voice of a ( Read more... )

What can I say? I've been avoiding the world and downloading the new Britney Spears album.

My mom stopped be as I climbed in the car, told me to turn around and look at the moon. Waning crescent, I murmured beneath my breath and paused for a moment to think if that was exactly what it was and to scoff at the things I say. It was beautiful, though, and I had the urge to sit on the concrete steps outside our apartment and just stare for ( Read more... )

It'll be just a few more days until I smile and laugh and be in Courtney's arms again. Remembering that calms and soothes me. I miss kissing and holding hands.

My doctor squeezed my arm and said, "good luck".
I do not like this waiting period between 'positive' and 'negative'.

Oh, well, wasn't today just a delight?
(♥ to Laurel, actually, because she keeps sprinkling comments in my journal when I need them.)

I'm going to wrap myself in a blanket and watch militant cyborg women in lingerie (read: Ghost In The Shell.) I have my eighty-second doctor's appointment in the morning and testing *joy* when I get there.

Where were we ( Read more... )

Mum notified me that Courtney may stay the night Christmas Eve, and that (gasp) she can sleep in my bed. What a lovely Christmas present. Snuggling in warm blankets with my baby.

I had dreams about musicians last night; Amanda from Bis and Chan from Cat Power. I remember having this strong feeling of wanting to hold them close.

Sometimes I can't find my pulse beneath my fingers and I wonder if I have a heart at all.