Shattered Love (Chapter 3)
Title: Shattered Love
Pairings: Yunjae & Yoosu
Genre: Angst, romance, drama
Rating: From PG to NC-17
Length 3/8
Summary: Things become slightly unstable in DBSK when Jaejoong asks for one night from Yunho.
Warnings: Mild cursing and a few rated scenes.
Chapters: ||1|| _||2||
=--------------------------------------=
“Where’s Jaejoong?” Junsu questioned lightly as he walked into the kitchen and didn’t find his hyung making breakfast.
“He’s sleeping.” Yunho stated lifelessly from across the table, his face dull as he stared blankly at the wall in front of him.
“Why didn’t he sleep in his bed last night?”
Yunho’s gaze flickered to Junsu, his dark eyes constricted with pain. “I don’t know.” He lied softly, glancing down at the table.
“Morning everyone!”
“Hyung! You’re finally up!” Junsu joked, glancing at the clock in the kitchen. “It’s already ten!” He teased with a smile.
“Hey, I don’t have to get up at the crack of dawn when we’re on vacation.” Jaejoong retorted, sticking his tongue out at Junsu.
“Morning, Yunho.” Jaejoong greeted casually as he walked into the kitchen and started pulling out food.
Yunho flinched, unsure of how to treat Jaejoong when every time he closed his eyes, memories from the night before would come rushing into his head.
“What’s with the blush, Hyung?” Changmin asked as he eyed Yunho critically.
“Blush?” Yunho glanced towards Jaejoong, expecting to find the boy watching him; he wasn’t. Jaejoong was playfully slapping Junsu’s hands away from their breakfast. He didn’t even seem to remember that Yunho was even in the room.
It was impossible for Jaejoong to love Yunho like he said and then act like nothing was wrong after their night together.
“Yeah, your face is as red as a tomato.” Changmin supplied with a small laugh.
“Oh…I didn’t know.” Yunho responded lamely, too absorbed in his own thoughts to worry about anything else.
“Uh-huh.” Changmin chuckled as he strolled into the kitchen to see what was going on.
A few moments passed before Junsu’s voice cut across the kitchen and dining area. “Is that a bite on your neck Jaejoong?” The cutest member asked suddenly, causing Yunho’s head to jerk towards the kitchen.
“Huh? What are you talking about?” Jaejoong asked, playing stupid.
“It’s right here.” Changmin stated, pointing to a small bruise on Jaejoong’s neck.
“Really?” Jae breathed, running over to look at his reflection in a mirror.
“Huh, I don’t know how I got it.” He asserted evenly as he returned to making breakfast.
“Hm.” Junsu and Changmin hummed their disbelief together before turning to go back to the kitchen.
“You want eggs, Yunho?” Jaejoong asked as he padded toward the fridge.
“Er…” Yunho couldn’t stand it anymore. “Can I talk to you for a minute…in private?” He asked, standing from the table.
“Sure.” Jaejoong acquiesced, brow furrowing slightly as he followed the other male.
The two left the room and walked into the hall, away from the other member's tingling ears.
“What are you doing?” Yunho growled, grabbing Jaejoong’s upper arms and shaking him slightly.
Jaejoong flinched, his body tingling at Yunho’s touch. It was hard to form a rational sentence, let alone breath, when Yunho was standing hardly an inch away.
“W-what do you mean?” He muttered, losing his hardly maintained, self-control.
“I’m talking about your attitude.”
“I-I was just doing what I promised.” Jaejoong whispered, lowering his gaze.
“I didn’t say you had to plaster a fake smile on your face.” Yunho growled, angry that he seemed to be the only one that was bothered by the things that had happened the night before.
“I can’t do anything but plaster a fake smile on my face.” Jaejoong breathed, trying to keep from crying.
“Every time I close my eyes, I still see you hovering over me. I can still smell you on my body, even after I’ve scrubbed my skin raw! What else can I do but plaster a fake smile on my face?”
“I can’t believe I agreed to do that with you!” Yunho groaned, running his hands through his hair.
“Why did you agree?” Jaejoong asked the question that had been running through his mind from the moment Yunho had stepped into that guest bedroom the night before.
The lead singer had tried to fool himself into believing that Yunho had done it because he had wondered what it was like to be with him. However, he knew all too well that it wasn’t true and would never be true.
“Because I wanted everything to run smoothly in the group. I fooled myself into believing that everything would just magically revert to normal after I gave you what you wanted. But it hasn’t. I can’t even look at you without feeling ashamed of what I did!” Yunho whispered, lowering his voice so the other members wouldn’t hear his words.
“Ashamed…?” Jaejoong breathed, pain constricting his chest. It hurt so badly to hear Yunho say he was ashamed to have had sex with him.
“I see. I’m sorry to have disgusted you so much.” Jaejoong whispered in a quivering voice before turning and padding out of the hall and back into the kitchen.
“Jaejoong…” Yunho groaned, trying not to feel any pity. He didn’t want to feel sorry for Jaejoong; he didn’t want to deal with new emotions and tear-stained faces.
“I’ve got to get out of here!” He moaned, moving towards the group's bedroom to get his clothing.
=----------------------------------=
Twenty minutes later, Yunho returned to the kitchen dressed and ready to leave the house.
“I’m going out.” He stated flatly at Yoochun before heading towards the door.
“Hyung…?” Junsu trailed off, his deceptively keen eyes flickering between Jaejoong and the door Yunho had just walked through.
“Yoochun-ah, why don’t you and Changmin take the showers first? I’ll help Jaejoong clean.”
“Oh no! That’s ok...” A dark glare from Junsu replaced the words in his mouth, “er, right…shower. Come Changmin!” Yoochun called before standing and quickly leaving the kitchen.
“Hey!” The youngest member called, anger in his eyes, “I’m not a dog you can just command!”
“Go, Changmin. Now” Junsu commanded, pointing out of the kitchen and towards the second bathroom.
Nothing commanded obedience like an angry Junsu. “Right…shower…” Changmin trailed off, turning scared eyes on Junsu as he shuffled from the room.
“Now that those two are gone…why don’t we clean-up their mess?” Junsu stated as he grabbed up the empty plates and cereal bowls from the table.
“Sure.” Jaejoong responded softly, trying to sound as normal as he could.
A few moments of silence passed as Jaejoong stood over the sink scrubbing mindlessly at a spoon. He didn’t even seem to realize that he had been washing the same dish for about three minutes.
“So Jaejoong, do you wanna talk?” Junsu questioned easily as he watched Jaejoong scrub away at the spoon.
“Sure, Junsu…what do you want to talk about?” Jaejoong asked, snapping out of his daze to give a weak smile to the younger boy.
“I wanted to tell you something, actually.”
Dark eyebrows arched slightly, “really? What is it?”
“Yoochun and I have been in a romantic relationship for over three months now.” The younger boy stated as a blush spread up his neck and over his child-like face.
Jaejoong dropped the spoon into the sink, his jaw dropping in tandem as he stared at Junsu in utter shock. “R-Romantic?” Was the only thing that made it past his confused brain.
“Yep…for three months.” Junsu affirmed, a smile splitting his adorable face.
“I-I had no idea!” Jaejoong breathed, drying his hands on the towel he had slung over his shoulder.
“That’s good. When we saw the way Yunho reacted towards your confession, we felt pretty sure he wouldn’t be open to us either.” Junsu stated slowly, seeming to think carefully about what he was saying.
“You should have told me! It must have been hard to hide something like this for such a long time!” Jaejoong gushed, moving forward and pulling Junsu into a warm hug.
“I wanted to, but Yoochun felt scared that you would tell Yunho, or flip-out yourself. Remember, we only found out you liked guys yesterday.” Junsu replied, wrapping his arms around Jaejoong’s thin form.
“I guess you’re right.” He sighed and pulled away, wiping a tear from his left eye. “Anyway, congratulations! I hope everything goes well for you two!”
“Thanks, Hyung…but there is something else I wanted to ask you.”
“What is it?”
“Are you alright?”
How those simple words could be so full of warmth and love baffled Jaejoong; He did know that something in those words caused his control to break.
Tears pooled in his eyes and trailed down his face as he started to shake with small sobs. “I never thought I could feel so much pain.” He sobbed, sinking slowly to the floor, his hands coming up to cover his tear-stained face.
“Hyung…” Junsu breathed, stooping down and wrapping his arm around Jaejoong’s shoulder. “What happened last night? You weren’t in your bed and neither was Yunho. Do you want to talk about it?”
Surprisingly enough, Jaejoong did want to talk about it. He wanted to let Junsu know the pain he was feeling and then just be held like his mother used to do when he was bullied at school.
“A-After I r-ran out of the d-dance hall yesterday…” Jaejoong paused, trying to speak past his body-shaking sobs. “Y-Yunho came after me…and…and in the stairwell, I told him if…if he would give me one night with him…I-I would stop showing affection towards him.” Jaejoong broke out in fresh tears, unable to contain the pain and devastation in his heart. It hurt so badly when Yunho looked at him with cold eyes that held no love or affection…at least not the kind of affection he wanted to see.
“I understand…Shhh.” Junsu comforted, running his small hands down Jaegoong’s back, like a mother comforting her small child.
“I can’t stand seeing him! It hurts so badly knowing that he doesn’t love me like I love him. Even though I knew he didn’t like me, I had deluded myself that there was some kind of hope.” Jaejoong sobbed into Junsu’s shoulder, his tears falling unabated.
“Everything will be fine, Jae-hyung. Just wait.” Junsu whispered, hoping that his words would turn out to be true.
=-------------------------------=
A/N: Did I forget to mention that this story is the prequel to Insanity...In a Fun Way? Well, it is. So yeah.
I remember that I was writing some of this chapter in a book that I accidently left between some cushions in the living room. My mom found it and read the part where Jaejoong and Yunho are in the hallway. She went apeshit on me and I hardly made it out with my computer still intact. I had to do some very quick thinking to clear all the crap from my computer without her knowing and then have a "talk" with her to clear my name. She came into my room at five in the morning asking for the password to my computer. It was one of the scariest encournters I've had with my family before. Thankfully I've always been seen as the good girl, so they were pretty willing to forgive me. She told my sister that she didn't think I understood how sex between guys worked -looks at Soul's Requiem- Man, I'd hate to see what they'd do if they found some of my darker stories. Pft, and my friends wonder why I have a phobia of writing on paper now.And that was my random story of the day
For those of you who are wondering. Yes, this story is posted somewhere else, but please I'm begging you to not read that one, if you happen to find it. The one I'm posting now is so much better and it's less embarrassing for me if you read this one. I will try to make my updates quick, so please, please, please don't go searching for the story somewhere else!
Also, thank you to everyone who has commented! I'm kind of shocked to see that people like the story so much. I've always had a bittersweet relationship with Shatterd Love. I guess I'm the only one...
Pairings: Yunjae & Yoosu
Genre: Angst, romance, drama
Rating: From PG to NC-17
Length 3/8
Summary: Things become slightly unstable in DBSK when Jaejoong asks for one night from Yunho.
Warnings: Mild cursing and a few rated scenes.
Chapters: ||1|| _||2||
=--------------------------------------=
“Where’s Jaejoong?” Junsu questioned lightly as he walked into the kitchen and didn’t find his hyung making breakfast.
“He’s sleeping.” Yunho stated lifelessly from across the table, his face dull as he stared blankly at the wall in front of him.
“Why didn’t he sleep in his bed last night?”
Yunho’s gaze flickered to Junsu, his dark eyes constricted with pain. “I don’t know.” He lied softly, glancing down at the table.
“Morning everyone!”
“Hyung! You’re finally up!” Junsu joked, glancing at the clock in the kitchen. “It’s already ten!” He teased with a smile.
“Hey, I don’t have to get up at the crack of dawn when we’re on vacation.” Jaejoong retorted, sticking his tongue out at Junsu.
“Morning, Yunho.” Jaejoong greeted casually as he walked into the kitchen and started pulling out food.
Yunho flinched, unsure of how to treat Jaejoong when every time he closed his eyes, memories from the night before would come rushing into his head.
“What’s with the blush, Hyung?” Changmin asked as he eyed Yunho critically.
“Blush?” Yunho glanced towards Jaejoong, expecting to find the boy watching him; he wasn’t. Jaejoong was playfully slapping Junsu’s hands away from their breakfast. He didn’t even seem to remember that Yunho was even in the room.
It was impossible for Jaejoong to love Yunho like he said and then act like nothing was wrong after their night together.
“Yeah, your face is as red as a tomato.” Changmin supplied with a small laugh.
“Oh…I didn’t know.” Yunho responded lamely, too absorbed in his own thoughts to worry about anything else.
“Uh-huh.” Changmin chuckled as he strolled into the kitchen to see what was going on.
A few moments passed before Junsu’s voice cut across the kitchen and dining area. “Is that a bite on your neck Jaejoong?” The cutest member asked suddenly, causing Yunho’s head to jerk towards the kitchen.
“Huh? What are you talking about?” Jaejoong asked, playing stupid.
“It’s right here.” Changmin stated, pointing to a small bruise on Jaejoong’s neck.
“Really?” Jae breathed, running over to look at his reflection in a mirror.
“Huh, I don’t know how I got it.” He asserted evenly as he returned to making breakfast.
“Hm.” Junsu and Changmin hummed their disbelief together before turning to go back to the kitchen.
“You want eggs, Yunho?” Jaejoong asked as he padded toward the fridge.
“Er…” Yunho couldn’t stand it anymore. “Can I talk to you for a minute…in private?” He asked, standing from the table.
“Sure.” Jaejoong acquiesced, brow furrowing slightly as he followed the other male.
The two left the room and walked into the hall, away from the other member's tingling ears.
“What are you doing?” Yunho growled, grabbing Jaejoong’s upper arms and shaking him slightly.
Jaejoong flinched, his body tingling at Yunho’s touch. It was hard to form a rational sentence, let alone breath, when Yunho was standing hardly an inch away.
“W-what do you mean?” He muttered, losing his hardly maintained, self-control.
“I’m talking about your attitude.”
“I-I was just doing what I promised.” Jaejoong whispered, lowering his gaze.
“I didn’t say you had to plaster a fake smile on your face.” Yunho growled, angry that he seemed to be the only one that was bothered by the things that had happened the night before.
“I can’t do anything but plaster a fake smile on my face.” Jaejoong breathed, trying to keep from crying.
“Every time I close my eyes, I still see you hovering over me. I can still smell you on my body, even after I’ve scrubbed my skin raw! What else can I do but plaster a fake smile on my face?”
“I can’t believe I agreed to do that with you!” Yunho groaned, running his hands through his hair.
“Why did you agree?” Jaejoong asked the question that had been running through his mind from the moment Yunho had stepped into that guest bedroom the night before.
The lead singer had tried to fool himself into believing that Yunho had done it because he had wondered what it was like to be with him. However, he knew all too well that it wasn’t true and would never be true.
“Because I wanted everything to run smoothly in the group. I fooled myself into believing that everything would just magically revert to normal after I gave you what you wanted. But it hasn’t. I can’t even look at you without feeling ashamed of what I did!” Yunho whispered, lowering his voice so the other members wouldn’t hear his words.
“Ashamed…?” Jaejoong breathed, pain constricting his chest. It hurt so badly to hear Yunho say he was ashamed to have had sex with him.
“I see. I’m sorry to have disgusted you so much.” Jaejoong whispered in a quivering voice before turning and padding out of the hall and back into the kitchen.
“Jaejoong…” Yunho groaned, trying not to feel any pity. He didn’t want to feel sorry for Jaejoong; he didn’t want to deal with new emotions and tear-stained faces.
“I’ve got to get out of here!” He moaned, moving towards the group's bedroom to get his clothing.
=----------------------------------=
Twenty minutes later, Yunho returned to the kitchen dressed and ready to leave the house.
“I’m going out.” He stated flatly at Yoochun before heading towards the door.
“Hyung…?” Junsu trailed off, his deceptively keen eyes flickering between Jaejoong and the door Yunho had just walked through.
“Yoochun-ah, why don’t you and Changmin take the showers first? I’ll help Jaejoong clean.”
“Oh no! That’s ok...” A dark glare from Junsu replaced the words in his mouth, “er, right…shower. Come Changmin!” Yoochun called before standing and quickly leaving the kitchen.
“Hey!” The youngest member called, anger in his eyes, “I’m not a dog you can just command!”
“Go, Changmin. Now” Junsu commanded, pointing out of the kitchen and towards the second bathroom.
Nothing commanded obedience like an angry Junsu. “Right…shower…” Changmin trailed off, turning scared eyes on Junsu as he shuffled from the room.
“Now that those two are gone…why don’t we clean-up their mess?” Junsu stated as he grabbed up the empty plates and cereal bowls from the table.
“Sure.” Jaejoong responded softly, trying to sound as normal as he could.
A few moments of silence passed as Jaejoong stood over the sink scrubbing mindlessly at a spoon. He didn’t even seem to realize that he had been washing the same dish for about three minutes.
“So Jaejoong, do you wanna talk?” Junsu questioned easily as he watched Jaejoong scrub away at the spoon.
“Sure, Junsu…what do you want to talk about?” Jaejoong asked, snapping out of his daze to give a weak smile to the younger boy.
“I wanted to tell you something, actually.”
Dark eyebrows arched slightly, “really? What is it?”
“Yoochun and I have been in a romantic relationship for over three months now.” The younger boy stated as a blush spread up his neck and over his child-like face.
Jaejoong dropped the spoon into the sink, his jaw dropping in tandem as he stared at Junsu in utter shock. “R-Romantic?” Was the only thing that made it past his confused brain.
“Yep…for three months.” Junsu affirmed, a smile splitting his adorable face.
“I-I had no idea!” Jaejoong breathed, drying his hands on the towel he had slung over his shoulder.
“That’s good. When we saw the way Yunho reacted towards your confession, we felt pretty sure he wouldn’t be open to us either.” Junsu stated slowly, seeming to think carefully about what he was saying.
“You should have told me! It must have been hard to hide something like this for such a long time!” Jaejoong gushed, moving forward and pulling Junsu into a warm hug.
“I wanted to, but Yoochun felt scared that you would tell Yunho, or flip-out yourself. Remember, we only found out you liked guys yesterday.” Junsu replied, wrapping his arms around Jaejoong’s thin form.
“I guess you’re right.” He sighed and pulled away, wiping a tear from his left eye. “Anyway, congratulations! I hope everything goes well for you two!”
“Thanks, Hyung…but there is something else I wanted to ask you.”
“What is it?”
“Are you alright?”
How those simple words could be so full of warmth and love baffled Jaejoong; He did know that something in those words caused his control to break.
Tears pooled in his eyes and trailed down his face as he started to shake with small sobs. “I never thought I could feel so much pain.” He sobbed, sinking slowly to the floor, his hands coming up to cover his tear-stained face.
“Hyung…” Junsu breathed, stooping down and wrapping his arm around Jaejoong’s shoulder. “What happened last night? You weren’t in your bed and neither was Yunho. Do you want to talk about it?”
Surprisingly enough, Jaejoong did want to talk about it. He wanted to let Junsu know the pain he was feeling and then just be held like his mother used to do when he was bullied at school.
“A-After I r-ran out of the d-dance hall yesterday…” Jaejoong paused, trying to speak past his body-shaking sobs. “Y-Yunho came after me…and…and in the stairwell, I told him if…if he would give me one night with him…I-I would stop showing affection towards him.” Jaejoong broke out in fresh tears, unable to contain the pain and devastation in his heart. It hurt so badly when Yunho looked at him with cold eyes that held no love or affection…at least not the kind of affection he wanted to see.
“I understand…Shhh.” Junsu comforted, running his small hands down Jaegoong’s back, like a mother comforting her small child.
“I can’t stand seeing him! It hurts so badly knowing that he doesn’t love me like I love him. Even though I knew he didn’t like me, I had deluded myself that there was some kind of hope.” Jaejoong sobbed into Junsu’s shoulder, his tears falling unabated.
“Everything will be fine, Jae-hyung. Just wait.” Junsu whispered, hoping that his words would turn out to be true.
=-------------------------------=
A/N: Did I forget to mention that this story is the prequel to Insanity...In a Fun Way? Well, it is. So yeah.
I remember that I was writing some of this chapter in a book that I accidently left between some cushions in the living room. My mom found it and read the part where Jaejoong and Yunho are in the hallway. She went apeshit on me and I hardly made it out with my computer still intact. I had to do some very quick thinking to clear all the crap from my computer without her knowing and then have a "talk" with her to clear my name. She came into my room at five in the morning asking for the password to my computer. It was one of the scariest encournters I've had with my family before. Thankfully I've always been seen as the good girl, so they were pretty willing to forgive me. She told my sister that she didn't think I understood how sex between guys worked -looks at Soul's Requiem- Man, I'd hate to see what they'd do if they found some of my darker stories. Pft, and my friends wonder why I have a phobia of writing on paper now.And that was my random story of the day
For those of you who are wondering. Yes, this story is posted somewhere else, but please I'm begging you to not read that one, if you happen to find it. The one I'm posting now is so much better and it's less embarrassing for me if you read this one. I will try to make my updates quick, so please, please, please don't go searching for the story somewhere else!
Also, thank you to everyone who has commented! I'm kind of shocked to see that people like the story so much. I've always had a bittersweet relationship with Shatterd Love. I guess I'm the only one...