Easter Morning
Okay I need you guys' constructive criticism on this one.
It is a song, so the lyrics don't need a better structure or anything like that, because the rhythm/metrum works fine when it's sung.
Does it work though, lyrics-wise? Or does something sound wrong or stupid?
---
into the grey mist
on through the green woods
brushing against moss
old as the trees
moist and soft against my skin
filled with the dew of the night
down to the creek, into the creek
wading knee-deep
against the water that sings, water that sings
walking up to the springs, up to the springs
silently forward through the stream
with my icy feet
finding safe rocks beneath
pushing through the whirling curls
clutching the grey earthen jug
holding it safely in my arms
slowly and careful not to slip
on the last step
through the water that sings, water that sings
wading up to the springs, up to the springs
quietly I'm kneeling down
dipping the jug into the flood
watching the stream fill it up
as crystal so clear
blessed be the springs and creek
born by the earth, water of life
I carry it home and welcome the sun
as it's painting the sky
through the water that sings, water that sings
walking home from the springs, home from the springs
---
This song is telling the Easter morning ritual I remember from my childhood.
My father would wake me early in the morning, shortly before sunrise. With his index finger over his lips, he told me to be silent.
I would get up and get dressed quickly, and without first having breakfast or drinking anything, the family would gather at the front door and start the Easter walk.
My mother carried the jug for the Easter water.
We would walk to the small stream that separates the forest from a field, one of us would step into the water and fill the jug with the fresh cold spring water.
Each family member would take a sip, passing the jug around, and only after we had drunk, we were allowed to speak.
Then we would walk back home, with the jug full of sacred Easter water, hehe.
I loved that ceremony, and I miss it, so I decided to write this song about it.
Now, give me your opinions!!
It is a song, so the lyrics don't need a better structure or anything like that, because the rhythm/metrum works fine when it's sung.
Does it work though, lyrics-wise? Or does something sound wrong or stupid?
---
into the grey mist
on through the green woods
brushing against moss
old as the trees
moist and soft against my skin
filled with the dew of the night
down to the creek, into the creek
wading knee-deep
against the water that sings, water that sings
walking up to the springs, up to the springs
silently forward through the stream
with my icy feet
finding safe rocks beneath
pushing through the whirling curls
clutching the grey earthen jug
holding it safely in my arms
slowly and careful not to slip
on the last step
through the water that sings, water that sings
wading up to the springs, up to the springs
quietly I'm kneeling down
dipping the jug into the flood
watching the stream fill it up
as crystal so clear
blessed be the springs and creek
born by the earth, water of life
I carry it home and welcome the sun
as it's painting the sky
through the water that sings, water that sings
walking home from the springs, home from the springs
---
This song is telling the Easter morning ritual I remember from my childhood.
My father would wake me early in the morning, shortly before sunrise. With his index finger over his lips, he told me to be silent.
I would get up and get dressed quickly, and without first having breakfast or drinking anything, the family would gather at the front door and start the Easter walk.
My mother carried the jug for the Easter water.
We would walk to the small stream that separates the forest from a field, one of us would step into the water and fill the jug with the fresh cold spring water.
Each family member would take a sip, passing the jug around, and only after we had drunk, we were allowed to speak.
Then we would walk back home, with the jug full of sacred Easter water, hehe.
I loved that ceremony, and I miss it, so I decided to write this song about it.
Now, give me your opinions!!