Rachel was a hot Jew and the good Lord wanted me to get into her pants.

This one is far superior.

And if it is one minute late, I will go to the animal shelter and get you a kitty cat. I will let you fall in love with that kitty cat. And then on some dark, cold night, I will steal away into your home and punch you in the face.

Glee gives me multiple musical theatregasms. Yeah, the script is pretty shoddy and the acting isn't the best, but it gives me the sort of sensation I got when I did theatre in high school, and those were some of the best feelings I have ever had.

I freaking love musical theatre.