I went to the mall today and when I returned to the parking lot I found Sebastian with his right headlight dangling.
I still don’t know if someone hit me or if I hit something and was completely unaware of it. both are so likely.

There’s nothing I hate more than bandwagon sports fans. Yet on Friday, all of south florida was too busy at the Heat parade to shop at Target. So I guess it’s all good ( Read more... )

Note to self: stop driving like an asshole before your pathetic faded red Corolla hits another BMW.

and to my body: do me a favor and lose five pounds immediately or get out of my building like now

I have a million things to do.

I hate it when I’m singing the Partridge Family theme song and corrected and told that I’m singing the Brady Bunch song, when I knew I was singing the right song the entire time! This bothered me a little bit longer than it should have ( Read more... )

Yesterday while trying to park at Applebees, for some reason I put my foot on the gas petal rather than the brake and almost crashed into a parked car. Things like this always happen when Iris is riding in the passenger seat, and we laugh and laugh and almost get into ANOTHER accident. Plus I think Applebees has a curse on me ( Read more... )

There’s talk that they might “get rid” of Giancarlo. It makes me really sad, because I’ll probably never see him again and he’s the only person in Albertsons that I can play air guitar with (including the sound effects). Reuben says if Giancarlo goes, I might get promoted, but nothing’s set in stone just yet. And I really don’t want him to leave ( Read more... )

I had orientation at Albertsons today; three hours of signing paperwork and watching silly videotapes on customer service and sexual harassment. Then I was rewarded with my name tag and uniform: a white apron that hangs below my knees, an oversized white collared shirt with a blue Albertsons cap. It’s sexy ( Read more... )

It’d be great if my parents gave me a car for my birthday.

It’d be really great if I had my driver’s license.

It’d be really-really great if I just knew how to drive.