it's a sad thing - as technology makes it easier to connect and communicate with people, the less people actually care. sure you may have a bazillion friends on facebook, from co-workers to the cousin of the uncle of the wife of the daughter of your elementary school teacher's third nanny during summer. numbers high, but actual relations are low. ( Read more... )

here we go again. seemingly endless days of self-doubt. of voices foretelling a fruitless, forgotten life. what's worse is that they are not unfounded. i toiled for hours, risking health, depriving myself of sleep, only for the result to be cast aside. not good enough. such is the way of the world, i am aware. it matters not the effort that went ( Read more... )

Just another one of those days where the cycle is in full swing. We're on iteration 9 i hear a voice say in the deep dark corner of my head. There are drawings to line yet no motivation whatsoever to get started on them. While the project is not urgent, i am aware every day delayed, means one more day in this limbo of depression and self-loathing. ( Read more... )

So I'm rewatching Chobits and finally came across the one ep in the series that made me cry: the breakdown and "death" of Ueda's persocon wife. Unlike the last time however, no tears were shed. Instead, I ended up more frustrated at Ueda's decisions and wondered at the degree of dedication and love he had for his wife ( Read more... )

Things are falling apart. Failure and shortcomings abound, or perhaps my mind is simply dwelling on these negative emotions. One thing for certain is the way I end up feeling ( Read more... )

as of writing im riding out the dying wave of an anxiety attack at the office. the fear and nervousness is still there, but thankfully the twitching and my body has started to calm down. at its height i wanted to just mutilate anyone. you know that feeling at the starting line of a race, your muscles ready and rearing to go run. its like that but ( Read more... )