everyone i know goes away in the end... you could have it all -- my empire of dirt
It's been awhile since I posted. And also awhile since I read and commented. For the record, I just went back and read all my friends' old posts. Life is in such a period of unsettlement right now.
Israel is great. Right?
I'm not in my apartment, yet. My stuff is primarily locked away in a luggage storage closet and completely inaccessible. I have tried multiple times to finish all my to do list, but, as luck would have it, nothing is going as quickly as it should. I can't sleep. I also can't wake up. I'm crying a lot and spending a lot of time in my hostel room, which is in a basement that is dark nearly all the time. I'm watching romantic comedies and crying myself to sleep. No one is on Skype. Only Tamesha is responding to my emails. And minimally at that. With vast disinterest in what I have to say.
I am in love with a guy who also loves me, but for some reason we're not dating, haven't ever dated, and most likely never will.
I'll never get married. Nearly everyone I know is married. I'm going to die alone.
I believe that Jesus is the Jewish Messiah, but I can't tell anyone I know except Nick. This makes for a very superficial kind of relationship with fellow seminarians.
My classmates are primarily campy, JAPs who I can't relate to anyway. No sense of morals. No concept of God. No knowledge of Jewish religion.
I'm alone in a foreign country for a year. How far away is November?
I can't do this. I need people too much.
I just drank half a bottle of wine. There was no one here to share it with. That's depressing. I miss Nick. Have I mentioned that?
Will I die alone?
Israel is great. Right?
I'm not in my apartment, yet. My stuff is primarily locked away in a luggage storage closet and completely inaccessible. I have tried multiple times to finish all my to do list, but, as luck would have it, nothing is going as quickly as it should. I can't sleep. I also can't wake up. I'm crying a lot and spending a lot of time in my hostel room, which is in a basement that is dark nearly all the time. I'm watching romantic comedies and crying myself to sleep. No one is on Skype. Only Tamesha is responding to my emails. And minimally at that. With vast disinterest in what I have to say.
I am in love with a guy who also loves me, but for some reason we're not dating, haven't ever dated, and most likely never will.
I'll never get married. Nearly everyone I know is married. I'm going to die alone.
I believe that Jesus is the Jewish Messiah, but I can't tell anyone I know except Nick. This makes for a very superficial kind of relationship with fellow seminarians.
My classmates are primarily campy, JAPs who I can't relate to anyway. No sense of morals. No concept of God. No knowledge of Jewish religion.
I'm alone in a foreign country for a year. How far away is November?
I can't do this. I need people too much.
I just drank half a bottle of wine. There was no one here to share it with. That's depressing. I miss Nick. Have I mentioned that?
Will I die alone?