Altitude Sickness
It hit me on the hike up to Everest base camp. Headache, dizziness, the feeling that every breath I took somehow got misplaced on the way to my lungs. What I needed most of all was water. Lungs work better in the presence of water.
But my mind was muddled and locked onto its path: walk. Can't breathe, can't talk, can't feel feet, doesn't matter. Walk. Head down, tripping over every stone, I stumbled up and up and up. Simran kept asking me to stop, take a break, drink some water. I refused. Just had to do it, get it done. Don't need anything. Just walk. And every step was harder and with every step I was more disconnected from my feet, and my lungs were screaming that I hadn't taken a proper breath in the last hour while my throat was burning from panting that cold, dry air. But no, I won't stop and drink. I don't want to take any more pictures. Just walk, just have to get there.
(Eventually, Simran stopped me physically, held me still, and poured water down my throat. After that, I was fine, and the hike was fun again.)
So now I'm feeling the same way at work and about my real estate and relocation plans for the next couple of years. I'm sure it's not healthy, but I'm not sure what the water is, or how to get it.
Edit: This is not true, of course. I know exactly what and where the water is. I've just allowed myself to become blind to it, like a fish.
But my mind was muddled and locked onto its path: walk. Can't breathe, can't talk, can't feel feet, doesn't matter. Walk. Head down, tripping over every stone, I stumbled up and up and up. Simran kept asking me to stop, take a break, drink some water. I refused. Just had to do it, get it done. Don't need anything. Just walk. And every step was harder and with every step I was more disconnected from my feet, and my lungs were screaming that I hadn't taken a proper breath in the last hour while my throat was burning from panting that cold, dry air. But no, I won't stop and drink. I don't want to take any more pictures. Just walk, just have to get there.
(Eventually, Simran stopped me physically, held me still, and poured water down my throat. After that, I was fine, and the hike was fun again.)
So now I'm feeling the same way at work and about my real estate and relocation plans for the next couple of years. I'm sure it's not healthy, but I'm not sure what the water is, or how to get it.
Edit: This is not true, of course. I know exactly what and where the water is. I've just allowed myself to become blind to it, like a fish.