When opposites attract
They say opposites attract. Initially, that sounds like pure crap. But it's something that I've been thinking about a lot recently. Maria is, in many ways, the opposite of ryan. She is exceptional, he is average. She is ambitious and disciplined, he seems directionless and unmotivated, with intent as his only goal. Maria and I... on the surface, seem like two of a kind. Both oddities - exceptional people. Both driven, ambitious. Both capable of incredible things, even if those things may take different shapes. We are people of strength. We are balanced and purposeful. Graceful and dilligent.
But those are all superficial I think. I'm not so sure that's what "opposites attract" is all about. I've seen times when opposites not just attract, but work really well together. My exwife was a list person. I am chaotic. This worked really well. If we were both list people, we'd have different lists, with different goals that would clash. If we were both chaotic, less would get done. It was a great combination. I think this is the level where opposites go really well together. Not the superficial "He wants to watch wrestling, she wants to watch chick flicks" kind of thing.
I've been thinking about it because there is one place Maria and I collide that I think is a very good thing. It's good for my soul. The fact is that she disarms me with her very presence. I've had times when I was upset with her, exceedingly upset, ready, perhaps, to be an asshole, because I had felt I had been wronged, and yet as soon as she entered the room I was completely de-fused. She has this calming, peaceful effect on me that I've never experienced before. Here I am, someone who loves confrontation, and she brings out the opposite in me naturally. Earlier today I made a post that, upon oompletion, a smile came to my face. THIS was going to be a public post. If it was, it would hurt someone, and it's someone I think deserves to be hurt. I like earned rewards - we should get what we earn, what we deserve, and some people deserve ire. Then, with a simple thought of Maria, the desire went away and the idea of hurting this person became unejoyable. I simply wanted to... avoid confrontation? Take the person out of my life instead of watching them writhe and suffer? I've always been so much more vindictive. It wasn't fear of reprisal that calmed me, I think I just want to be more like Maria sometimes. She's a real moderating factor in my life. She tames me, disarms me, makes me a better person. She goes with me very well.
And I hope to do the same for her. She has a tendency to let people walk all over her. Push her around. She hates this about herself. I put thoughts into her head - and the thoughts are "push, don't be pushed". I keep her on her toes, make her better at confrontation - whether that's dealing with an ex boyfriend or helping to ingratiate herself into a new study group, sometimes you need to push a bit instead of being pushed around. She'll never enjoy confrontation like I do, but I hope to continue to be a moderating influence in her life as well. To help her question things, get waht she wants, and what she needs. To not just take people's word - but to look underneath at the hidden components. Her mind is keen, it comes naturally to her, she just needs more practice in asserting this muscle, and herself.
It's nice to be part of a team where we make each other better people.
Zeus - god of the happy
But those are all superficial I think. I'm not so sure that's what "opposites attract" is all about. I've seen times when opposites not just attract, but work really well together. My exwife was a list person. I am chaotic. This worked really well. If we were both list people, we'd have different lists, with different goals that would clash. If we were both chaotic, less would get done. It was a great combination. I think this is the level where opposites go really well together. Not the superficial "He wants to watch wrestling, she wants to watch chick flicks" kind of thing.
I've been thinking about it because there is one place Maria and I collide that I think is a very good thing. It's good for my soul. The fact is that she disarms me with her very presence. I've had times when I was upset with her, exceedingly upset, ready, perhaps, to be an asshole, because I had felt I had been wronged, and yet as soon as she entered the room I was completely de-fused. She has this calming, peaceful effect on me that I've never experienced before. Here I am, someone who loves confrontation, and she brings out the opposite in me naturally. Earlier today I made a post that, upon oompletion, a smile came to my face. THIS was going to be a public post. If it was, it would hurt someone, and it's someone I think deserves to be hurt. I like earned rewards - we should get what we earn, what we deserve, and some people deserve ire. Then, with a simple thought of Maria, the desire went away and the idea of hurting this person became unejoyable. I simply wanted to... avoid confrontation? Take the person out of my life instead of watching them writhe and suffer? I've always been so much more vindictive. It wasn't fear of reprisal that calmed me, I think I just want to be more like Maria sometimes. She's a real moderating factor in my life. She tames me, disarms me, makes me a better person. She goes with me very well.
And I hope to do the same for her. She has a tendency to let people walk all over her. Push her around. She hates this about herself. I put thoughts into her head - and the thoughts are "push, don't be pushed". I keep her on her toes, make her better at confrontation - whether that's dealing with an ex boyfriend or helping to ingratiate herself into a new study group, sometimes you need to push a bit instead of being pushed around. She'll never enjoy confrontation like I do, but I hope to continue to be a moderating influence in her life as well. To help her question things, get waht she wants, and what she needs. To not just take people's word - but to look underneath at the hidden components. Her mind is keen, it comes naturally to her, she just needs more practice in asserting this muscle, and herself.
It's nice to be part of a team where we make each other better people.
Zeus - god of the happy