my days are numbered....
i am officially no longer a stay at home mother.
i start my new job (working at Victoria's Secret Direct)on Monday and both of my boys will be in school/daycare. it's a double edged sword really. i know that i need this job, i WANT this job.....i am ever thankful i GOT this job, but i realized today that my role will change on monday. i will be a working mother and never again a stay at home one.
........never again.......
that is really hard for me to fathom. i have dedicated my early twenties to pregnancy, breastfeeding, teaching, raising, and correcting children. now....they are no longer in need of that as much any more. i know that i will always be their mother, but there is a great sadness to all this change.
my youngest will be in preschool care, my oldest at school.....i will be working and finding my own path in life.
i am fearful that all of this will break me. everything is just so overpowering right now, my emotions so fragile. i am excited for my littlest one, but also extremely weary of letting him go. i just want to hold that little butterball in my arms all day and keep him with me. i suppose i need to be just as giving of his freedom as i was for Dakota.
wow....my head is spinning by how much my life has twisted on me in the last month. one measly month out of my life and i have felt it drag on like no other. i have been riding an emotional rollercoaster for weeks now.
but i am really looking forward to the calm at the end of the ride. i really am. i am really ready to let go and start fresh.
it's going to be hard for me to deal with all the childcare issues, but in the end.....things always work out for me. they do.
i start my new job (working at Victoria's Secret Direct)on Monday and both of my boys will be in school/daycare. it's a double edged sword really. i know that i need this job, i WANT this job.....i am ever thankful i GOT this job, but i realized today that my role will change on monday. i will be a working mother and never again a stay at home one.
........never again.......
that is really hard for me to fathom. i have dedicated my early twenties to pregnancy, breastfeeding, teaching, raising, and correcting children. now....they are no longer in need of that as much any more. i know that i will always be their mother, but there is a great sadness to all this change.
my youngest will be in preschool care, my oldest at school.....i will be working and finding my own path in life.
i am fearful that all of this will break me. everything is just so overpowering right now, my emotions so fragile. i am excited for my littlest one, but also extremely weary of letting him go. i just want to hold that little butterball in my arms all day and keep him with me. i suppose i need to be just as giving of his freedom as i was for Dakota.
wow....my head is spinning by how much my life has twisted on me in the last month. one measly month out of my life and i have felt it drag on like no other. i have been riding an emotional rollercoaster for weeks now.
but i am really looking forward to the calm at the end of the ride. i really am. i am really ready to let go and start fresh.
it's going to be hard for me to deal with all the childcare issues, but in the end.....things always work out for me. they do.