The Gang: Chapter 3 - Second Thoughts
ZeldaQueen: Before we begin, warnings! This chapter contains urine drinking, and not in the narmy, silly way done in My Inner Life!
Projection Room Voices: Warning, regular M.A.R.Y.S.U.E. sporking protocol overriden! Starting Media in 3...2...1...
Chapter 3: Second Thoughts
ZeldaQueen: Oh, after reading where this chapter goes, I definitely am having second thoughts!
Raxis:
As Ben and Paul crested the rise
ZeldaQueen: Like, totally, dude!
Ben could see the bowl shaped depression below him;
Raxis: Eggs Benedict can see my feelings?
the same depression that
ZeldaQueen: - I feel whenever I see Neil's name attached to any fanfiction
contained the old wooden building. On the opposite side of the bowl he could see the steep dirt slope and the brambles he had fought his way through before. The route he had taken today, even though it was a three mile walk, was a lot shorter than the one he had taken a few days ago.
ZeldaQueen: *rubs head* Neil, this is not establishing a good sense of scenary. This is boring as shit
Raxis: Wait, he walked over three miles the first time he got there? Man, that girl's voice can CARRY!
“Come on” said Paul, leading the way down the more gently sloping path.
ZeldaQueen: Are they off down the Yellow Brick Road or what?
Ben began to grow more afraid now that he was nearing his destination; drawing closer to whatever fate had in store for him. He couldn’t turn back now. The promise of what was to come in the future was just too much.
Raxis: Naked helpless girls, mind you. Always a lovely thing.
ZeldaQueen: Jesus H. Christ kid, you're not looking for the Holy Grail! Neil, could you be any more obvious about who your self-insert is?
He knew that if he walked away from it he’d be tossing and turning for the rest of his life;
Raxis: God damn, boy, go look on the internet for God's sake! Missing the chance to see naked pre-pubescent girls would scar you FOR LIFE?
ZeldaQueen: Nah, he's missing his chance to see naked pre-pubescent girls without the cops catching him
there’d be no relief from that aching that tormented his soul. He just wanted it over and done with.
Raxis: I'll take care of that for you! :D *stabs him in the heart* There, torment over :)
Whatever the initiation was, it couldn’t be that bad.
ZeldaQueen: *MASSIVE EYE TWITCH* You naive bastard...
He wouldn’t have to take his clothes off, wouldn’t have to be naked, and so whatever else they wanted him to do he’d do, like it or not, as quickly as possible to get it over with.
Raxis: YOU HEAR THAT? THERE WILL BE NO NUDITY FROM EGGS BENEDICT. NOPE. NONE WHATSOEVER.
ZeldaQueen: *laughs heartily* Oh Neil, you dumb shit, you are so predictable!
Then… well, then he’d be part of the gang, and he’d just have to wait for the first opportunity to strip a girl.
ZeldaQueen: ... Things all boys look forward to in life. Having their first beer. Driving the car. Going on a date. Stripping an unwilling girl. The usual
He wasn’t religious, not in any sense, but he silently begged God that it would be today.
Raxis: If God existed in this fanfic, he would smite this little bastard.
ZeldaQueen: Wait, wait, hold on. He just prayed for God to give him a chance to see a girl get abducted and forcibly stripped naked, all so he could ogle her? What? What in the name of all that is holy makes this little prick think that God would even consider granting such a request? If anything, God would send him on the speedway to Hell! I mean that's... that's even more backwards than in Spider-Man 3, when Eddie Brock prayed to God to kill Peter Parker after he tried to get a job via fraudulent pictures!
Raxis: With any luck an evil alien symbiote can take him over and then get him blown up.
The building was further from this side of the depression
ZeldaQueen: No, you'll find that the building is actually the cause of my depression. Just wait and see what goes on in there...
than the opposite side, so Ben had plenty of time to assess it as they approached. It was longer than he had thought,
ZeldaQueen: I'd make a "that's what she said" joke, but I don't want to give Neil ideas
Raxis: I'm almost certain that wasn't an accident.
and probably had more than one room. There was even a suspicion that there might be a second floor, or a roof space at least. On this side he could see a boarded up window, and to the front a door, with a rickety porch. It was toward the porch that Paul was leading him.
ZeldaQueen: No, and here I thought Paul would lead him in through the boarded-up window!
There was no shrieking today. In fact Ben couldn’t see or hear any signs of life at all, and he wondered if maybe the building was empty.
Raxis: I can just hear his soul crying because he missed the chance for some easy naked young girls.
ZeldaQueen: Young Benedict seems to have a one-tracked mind, huh?
Wondered if Paul had been wrong about there being enough gang members present for the vote.
Raxis: Who did?
ZeldaQueen: If there was any justice at all, Paul would be planning to murder Benedict and dump his corpse in the backyard
Raxis: No, that's not enough. It needs to be burnt.
ZeldaQueen: Ohhh yeah!
Paul paused to push the creaky door open, and he stood aside to let Ben enter first. Ben looked at Paul, and then at the gloom within, and hesitated.
Raxis: What, is he expecting a ninja attack?
ZeldaQueen: No, no, given what these yahoos have in store for him, it's actually reasonable for him to be afraid of going inside
“Go on” said Paul, gesturing inside.
Ben swallowed hard,
ZeldaQueen: O_o I'm sorry. I've read what's going to happen in later chapters, and that phrase is killing me
girded himself, and then stepped under Paul’s arm into the building.
“Door on the right, just go in” said Paul.
Ben’s eyes took a little while to adjust to the dimness, and he took a few paces into the small entrance hall before fumbling his way to the door on the right. He pushed at it, staying back while it opened, and he was met by a ghostly light. Behind him he heard what sounded like the front door being bolted, and he turned back toward Paul looking scared.
Raxis: Who's scared, Paul? Is "looking scared" Paul's new nickname?
“In! Go on!” said Paul, a more commanding tone to his voice now.
ZeldaQueen: Normally I would wholeheartedly be on Paul's side, for trying to keep the story moving along. In this case though, I want to halt this fic with a Mac truck, if possible
Beginning to lose some of his courage, Ben faltered, until Paul caught him up and gave him a shove toward the opening. It was enough to get Ben going and he took three bold paces into the room before regaining his balance and steadying himself.
Both: DO SOMETHING!
It took Ben just a moment to take in the room and its occupants. Apart from himself and Paul, there were just three people present, all of them girls,
ZeldaQueen: Oh, OF COURSE! Heaven forbid we go through this oncoming orgy without preteen girls to cater to Neil's fetishes!
all of them sat on an old faded red settee.
Raxis: A what?
ZeldaQueen: It's sort of like a sofa
The first was the girl with the long blond hair who had been kneeling on the captive’s arm the other day. The second was the girl with the shoulder length black hair who had done the tickling, who had been about to pull off the captive’s knickers. The third was the younger girl with long blond hair who had startled him on the ridge. Now he could see the two of them together it was obvious the two blond girls were sisters.
Raxis: Oh THIS is uplifting.
ZeldaQueen: He walks in and sees three young, cute girls who were willingly helping to strip a girl. I'm picking up Emily vibes from these bitches
Raxis: So now we have Emily times three? Save me, Morrighan! ;~;
All three of them were smiling at him in a warm and welcoming way. There didn’t appear to be anything sinister in the room, or in their smiles, everything seemed very friendly.
Raxis: YUP, TOTALLY FRIENDLY, NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. ARE YOU REASSURED YET, AUDIENCE, I DON'T THINK NEIL WAS CERTAIN.
ZeldaQueen: If this was by anyone else, I'd think this was meant to throw the readers off track, making them think that these devil children were perfectly sweet and charming. Given Neil's mental state though, he probably is trying to get us to think that these kids really are good, aside from the abductions and rape
Ben exhaled suddenly, and relaxed a bit. His eyes were adjusting better now. There were enough small holes and gaps in the wooden walls that once he’d recovered from the brilliant sunshine outside, it seemed light enough in here to see perfectly well. Even the ghostly glow from the black haired girl’s laptop screen seemed to disappear.
ZeldaQueen: So they apparently get Wi-Fi in the creepy, abandoned building. Either that, or she plans on using a webcam to record the perverse things they have scheduled
“Hi” he said nervously.
“Hello Ben” said the black haired girl, who put her laptop down on the floor.
“Hi” said the other two.
“How did you know my name?” asked Ben.
ZeldaQueen: Seriously? THAT'S what you want to know?
“We know all about you” said the older blond. “We don’t just invite anyone into our gang you know. We do our homework.”
Raxis: What, so Eggs Benedict evidently has a record of extreme perversion?
ZeldaQueen: Apparently asking around to find the new kid's name is "doing their homework". And given what we're going to learn later, it's not like it would have been difficult for them to learn things about him
“We should introduce ourselves” suggested the black haired girl “I’m Victoria”
Raxis: Bitchtoria.
she said holding out her hand. Ben shook it “Hi” he said again.
“I’m Emily”
Raxis: Mary Two.
ZeldaQueen: *has seizures from the Hogwarts Exposed flashbacks*
said the older of the two blonds also holding out her hand. Ben shook it and nodded his head.
“I’m Alison”
Raxis: And Zoidberg. Ok, I couldn't think of an insulting nickname on the spot, rofl.
said the younger blond jumping to her feet and offering her hand with a big grin. Ben shook that hand too, and blushed slightly.
“We’ve already met really” said Alison.
Raxis: Where's this Really person hiding, then?
ZeldaQueen: So yeah, even though there is a Sue named Emily here, Alison is closest, personality-wise, to HE's Emily. Be very afraid
Raxis: Well this is just screwy, then.
“Why don’t you sit down.” suggested Victoria.
ZeldaQueen: Without a question mark, apparently. She's just that good
Ben sat on the floor, cross legged, and Paul who had been stood by the door, sat on the arm of the settee next to Victoria.
Raxis: Who stood Paul by the door? Did Really do it? Is Really their nicknamed for Paul?
“Before we start there are some basics we should explain” said Victoria, so just be patient, we’ll get the boring stuff over with as soon as possible, but it is important.”
ZeldaQueen: Okay, I'm scared. In a Neil fic, everything is either boring as shit or creepy pedo-porn. So no, stick with the boring stuff!
“Okay” said Ben nodding enthusiastically.
“First off: There are senior members of the gang, and junior members. To become a senior member you have to be in the gang for a year and a day.
ZeldaQueen: They make their rules via fairy tales, apparently
Raxis: Stop sounding like Gandalf, or I'll smite you guys, legolas by laura style.
So far we’ve only got three senior members, me, Emily, and Paul.
Raxis: Paul, Emily and myself! >:U
The gang hasn’t been around a year and a day yet, but since we founded it and it has to have senior members: that’s us.”
ZeldaQueen: *beats head against the wall from sheer boredom*
Raxis: This is the kind of thing you put into supplementary work.
“Am I a junior member then?” asked Ben.
“You’re not any kind of member yet” said Emily.
“Oh sorry. I knew that.” said Ben.
ZeldaQueen: Kid, you know fuck-all. Shut up!
“Second off:” said Victoria “The senior members are in charge, and the junior members have to do as they are told.
Raxis: NO, Who'da guess THAT?
ZeldaQueen: And we all know that Neil just looooooves making rules where kids just can't say no!
On big things we always have a vote, and everyone gets to vote even if they’re junior, but for the day to day stuff, the juniors do the chores and stuff. So you’ll have to do as you’re told. If you don’t do as you’re told you’ll be punished.”
Raxis: What happens when there ARE no Junior members anymore? Oh wait, silly me, they'll always somehow find an entourage of upstanding perverts to join their noble cause.
ZeldaQueen: Somehow, I think Neil was too busy whacking off to think that far ahead
Ben nodded again, a little less enthusiastically this time.
“Next: You can’t tell anyone about the gang or what we do. Everything the gang does is secret, and if you ever tell anyone you’ll be punished.”
ZeldaQueen: THAT WOULD BE A HINT, BENEDICT! THESE GUYS ARE NOT NICE!
“What do you mean punished?” asked Ben, feeling sure he wasn’t going to like the answer.
Raxis: Use some imagination, dumbass.
ZeldaQueen: He really shouldn't. This is a story by Neil, after all
“Punishments are decided by the senior members who will discuss what you’ve done wrong, and decide” said Emily.
Ben really didn’t like the sound of that “What sorts of things?
ZeldaQueen: Spanking. No, seriously. I read ahead
What if you don’t want to be punished?”
Raxis: ...Was this dumbass dropped on his HEAD one too many times?
ZeldaQueen: *rubs forehead* Benedict, is the concept of "punishment" really that foreign to you?
“You don’t have a choice, if it’s decided you’ll be punished, then you’ll be punished. There’s no escape” replied Victoria.
“You’ll have to wait and see” said Emily, a little impatiently.
ZeldaQueen: Creepy girls who are cheerfully talking about punishments. Yep, these are Neil's dream girls!
“There’s no need to worry” chimed in Alison “No-one’s been punished for anything yet.”
ZeldaQueen: Give it a few chapters. Neil will lovingly detail it, I assure you!
“He doesn’t need to know that” said Victoria a little crossly.
Raxis: (Bitchtoria): "We have to protect our image! >:O"
“Sorry, I was only saying” said Alison.
“The worst punishment will be for telling gang secrets. The punishment for that will be truly awful” added Paul.
Raxis: So what's the punishment for reporting you sorry bastards to the police like you deserve?
ZeldaQueen: I smell a spite fic! 8D
Ben nodded again, slowly, promising himself he would never reveal any of the gang’s secrets.
ZeldaQueen: So he'll never tell anyone that he's in a group that abducts and tortures kids. What a fantastic guy! And no, Neil, you can't say he's doing it out of fear. He showed no inclination to turn these bastards in even before he was threatened
“The newest member is always the most junior, and they get more chores to do than anyone, and that’s going to be you, if you join. At least until someone new joins” said Victoria.
Raxis: What's all this about chores, anyways? Somebody to clean up the mess afterwards?
ZeldaQueen: Most likely, yes
“How long will it be until someone else joins?” asked Ben.
“That depends” replied Emily.
Raxis: It depends on when Neil needs a new fetish fulfilled.
“I was the most junior until a couple of days ago” said Alison chirpily.
“We had a new member join recently” said Emily.
“She’s not going to be junior for very long” said Alison with just a hint of jealousy in her voice.
Raxis: What, she's been in for 366 days already? How'd she manage that before the rest of you did?
“Luck of the draw” said Paul sympathetically.
Raxis: We don't know in what way he's doing it sympathetically. I mean, Neil could have written like Paul shook his head, or clapped a hand to Zoidberg's shoulder while he said it.
“How many are there in the gang?” asked Ben.
“We’ll tell you that if you join” said Victoria.
“Do you want to join or not?” asked Paul.
ZeldaQueen: (Paul) "We'll only sexually harass and assault you if you don't!"
Ben thought about it for a while. It didn’t seem too bad. Some chores to do, couldn’t be much, and he’d have to make sure he didn’t do anything wrong, didn’t warrant any kind of punishment. On the other hand: naked girls.
Raxis: Oh, I forgot, the naked girls bit is a FUCKING POSITIVE TO THIS SORRY PIECE OF FILTH.
ZeldaQueen: Cheer up. As disgusting as the next few chapters are, at least he gets some karmic distribution dished back
“Okay” he said nodding more definitely this time.
“You’re a very lucky boy” said Victoria.
“Am I?” asked Ben.
“Yes. If you’d said no then you’d have been in trouble. You were spying on us the other day, and invading our territory.
Raxis: Where's the deed, bitch? This isn't your "territory". You remind me of one of those stupid Deku Scrubs.
ZeldaQueen: So nice to see these guys are so protective of their vital regions. Can we get Prussia in here, to awesome things up a lot? Or at least kick their asses?
Normally we’d have caught you and brought you here and punished you, like we did with the girl you saw.”
Raxis: Yup, they'd drag him the whole three miles, kicking and screaming the whole way.
Ben gulped and his eyes widened a little in fear.
“But we discussed it between ourselves and decide to give you a break” said Paul.
“If you joined the gang, we’d let you off, but if you didn’t…” added Emily ominously.
“Okay, I’m joining” said Ben “I said I was didn’t I?”
ZeldaQueen: ...And this doesn't give you pause, you moron? You don't stop and think "These guys would have turned on me so quickly, maybe they won't be very good friends"? Of course not. You're only interested in naked girls, and as long as you get that, you're fine
“You’ve got to pass the initiation yet” said Alison with a big smirk on her face “If you fail that you won’t be a member of the gang.”
“And then we will have to punish you” added Victoria.
ZeldaQueen: Okay, seriously, can you guys shut up about the punishment, already?
Raxis: Of course they can't, punishment gets Neil giddy.
Ben looked round at them all, his jaw dropping and the bottom falling out of his stomach.
Raxis: Ewwww, clean that up! D:
He definitely definitely did not want to be punished. Whatever this initiation was he was determined to pass it with flying colours.
ZeldaQueen: Of course in this case, the initiation will be just as bad, if not worse, than the punishment
“I’m ready” he said finally.
“Alison” said Victoria, and Alison jumped from the settee to fetch an old mug from a shelf.
Raxis: I'll just picture she jumped Mario-style.
ZeldaQueen: Anything to distract ourselves from what's about to happen
She grabbed the mug and bounded over to Ben,
Raxis: Actually with all the jumping she's doing, I might be on to something with this Mario thing...
holding it out to him. Ben took it and peered into it. The mug was empty, and looked clean. He looked up at Victoria questioningly.
“Piss in it!” she said.
ZeldaQueen: ...Of course. What were you guys expecting, something age-appropriate here?
“What?” he asked, not believing what he had just heard.
Raxis: Yeah, I'm with Eggs Benedict for once.
“You heard me. Piss in it!” she repeated.
Ben stared at her, then into the mug.
“Unless you want to fail the initiation” giggled Alison.
ZeldaQueen: *growls* Shut up, you annoying little twit!
Raxis: I'm renaming her Emily. Now for all you sporkers, just remember that the ACTUAL Emily in this fic is going to be called "Mary Two" by me. Formerly Zoidberg will be called Emily by me. But Queeny will probably be calling Mary Two Emily. I'm glad to have confusioned up the clarity :)
ZeldaQueen: Given how the Emily of this fic has done fuck-all thus far, I doubt there will be that big a problem
Ben, blushing slightly, broke eye contact with Victoria, took a quick breath of air then took a step towards the door.
“No you don’t” said Paul standing to block the door “In here.”
ZeldaQueen: (Paul) "The author needs a nice wank right now"
“No not in here, let me go outside, in the corridor at least” said Ben.
“I had to do it in here, and I’m a girl” said Alison crossly “and it’s a lot easier for a boy.”
ZeldaQueen: This is going to be a reoccuring justification. No, Neil, having them say "I did it too" doesn't make it any better
“Forget it” said Emily “Let’s just get on with the punishment.”
Raxis: (Mary Two): "Which ALSO involves pissing in the cup!" Actually, I wouldn't be terrible surprised if it did.
ZeldaQueen: No, it would more likely involve a riding crop and a whip
“No, I’ll do it” said Ben emphatically.
Raxis: What did that mean? What is Emphatically? Neil, if you're using words that *I* don't know, you've hit issues.
ZeldaQueen: Right. We are scripting this next bit, for the sanity of all involved
Benedict: *pissing into a cup* Hm, allow me to describe this all in the most nausating detail possible. My author does get off on that, after all, though he usually prefers to hear about little girls doing it. Hey, let me make mention of my "quite flaccid penis", since I'm sure you were all wondering what state my twelve-year-old junk was in!
ZeldaQueen: *has vomited into her bucket*
Raxis: Right now I'm so glad I didn't have the "privilage" to read the original version.
Alison: As the Emily expy of this story, I admire his butt.
Everyone Else Present: *also admires Benedict's ass*
Neil: Don't you all just love the ass of me my self-insert my main character?
ZeldaQueen: *flatly* No
Raxis: He probably doesn't care about your opinion anyways, Queeny; you're not young enough to stir his fancy.
ZeldaQueen: A fact of which I am eternally grateful
Victoria: Okay, now that you've finished pissing into that cup, you get to swear on it. "By this piss, and all the piss inside of me..."
ZeldaQueen: Hand to God, I am making not a word of this up, dear viewers
Raxis: Is this like some stupid religion? Shouldn't they be swearing by semen instead or something? That'd be a bit more fitting.
ZeldaQueen: For the love of Christ, NO! No bringing semen into this thing!
Raxis: Sorry ^^u
Benedict: *performs the extremely stupid oath, which no child would ever come up with in reality* Okay, now what?
Victoria: Well, dur! You've got a cup of piss, kid! What do you think we're going to ask you to do?
Raxis: Well the rational thing would be to flush it down the toilet, but rationality has long since gone out the window.
Benedict: *whines* I don't wanna!
ZeldaQueen: I don't have an ounce of sympathy for you, you putrid pile of elephant droppings. You're the one who thought it would be great to join a gang of pre-teen, sex-obsessed delinquints, just so you could see underaged breasts from kidnapped girls!
Everyone: *threatens Benedict with vague threats, which Neil no doubt has fun imagining*
Benedict: Fine! *does exactly what you'd expect someone in a fanfiction written by Neil to do with a cup of piss*
ZeldaQueen: *has Round 2 with the bucket*
Raxis: I didn't even have to read it and it's disgusting me too...
Everyone: Drink it all, kid!
Benedict: *does so*
ZeldaQueen: *weakly* Don't anyone complain that I'm skipping over this bit. I'm doing you all a favor! Now, back to the sporking...
“Is that it, am I in the gang now?” asked Ben only too well aware of the foul taste in his mouth.
ZeldaQueen: Neil, you made me vomit twice already. If it goes for three, I'm hunting you down and killing you
Raxis: Let me join in!
“No. You haven’t finished yet. The last part is the test. We need to test you to make sure we can trust you. If you pass the test you’ll be accepted into the gang” she said solemnly.
“But if you fail the test” said Emily “You’ll be rejected from the gang.”
Raxis: (Mary Two): "If you do so-so, we'll have to spend the weekend deliberating your fate."
“And punished” added Alison quickly and cheerily.
Raxis: Emily sure loves her punishments...
ZeldaQueen: I want to kill this little whore. Not even one chapter with her, and I want her to die in the most painful ways possible
“What… what… what’s the test?” asked Ben reluctantly, feeling sure he didn’t want to know.
“Take off your shoes and socks, and come with us” said Vitoria rising from the settee.
Raxis: (Bitchtoria): "We wanna see how good you are at walking on coals!"
ZeldaQueen: Oh, so it's a test of fashion! See, this is why it's important to make sure you're wearing tasteful, matching socks and shoes! You might get abducted by a group of fashion-conscious perverted children, and THEN you'll be sorry!
Ben definitely did not like the sound of this, but he was trapped. What could he do? He stooped down, and undid the laces on his Reebok trainers, pulled the trainers off then repeated the process with the socks.
ZeldaQueen: Normally I'd chalk this up to Neil's padding, but given how much detail was put into HE's Emily putting on a pair of socks and shoes? I think our friend here has a foot fetish
“Where are we going?” he asked in a very small voice.
Raxis: Into the dark corners of Neil's twisted mind.
“Next door” said Victoria picking up her laptop, and Ben realised that must be the room he had seen them strip the girl in. But Paul had promised him he wouldn’t be stripped. Hadn’t he?
Raxis: (weak laughter) Eggs Benedict, you are a fool.
ZeldaQueen: He really, really is. Let's just say for now that these assholes LOVE loophole abuses
Ben followed the girls with his head down, shoulders slumped; scared half to death. Paul followed him.
Raxis: And the chapter's end abruptly brought up the rearguard, thank god for that. So we're done for tonight, yay :'D
Onward to: Chapter 4 - The Test (Part 1)
Back to: Chapter 2 - The Invitation
Return to: Table of Contents
Projection Room Voices: Warning, regular M.A.R.Y.S.U.E. sporking protocol overriden! Starting Media in 3...2...1...
Chapter 3: Second Thoughts
ZeldaQueen: Oh, after reading where this chapter goes, I definitely am having second thoughts!
Raxis:
As Ben and Paul crested the rise
ZeldaQueen: Like, totally, dude!
Ben could see the bowl shaped depression below him;
Raxis: Eggs Benedict can see my feelings?
the same depression that
ZeldaQueen: - I feel whenever I see Neil's name attached to any fanfiction
contained the old wooden building. On the opposite side of the bowl he could see the steep dirt slope and the brambles he had fought his way through before. The route he had taken today, even though it was a three mile walk, was a lot shorter than the one he had taken a few days ago.
ZeldaQueen: *rubs head* Neil, this is not establishing a good sense of scenary. This is boring as shit
Raxis: Wait, he walked over three miles the first time he got there? Man, that girl's voice can CARRY!
“Come on” said Paul, leading the way down the more gently sloping path.
ZeldaQueen: Are they off down the Yellow Brick Road or what?
Ben began to grow more afraid now that he was nearing his destination; drawing closer to whatever fate had in store for him. He couldn’t turn back now. The promise of what was to come in the future was just too much.
Raxis: Naked helpless girls, mind you. Always a lovely thing.
ZeldaQueen: Jesus H. Christ kid, you're not looking for the Holy Grail! Neil, could you be any more obvious about who your self-insert is?
He knew that if he walked away from it he’d be tossing and turning for the rest of his life;
Raxis: God damn, boy, go look on the internet for God's sake! Missing the chance to see naked pre-pubescent girls would scar you FOR LIFE?
ZeldaQueen: Nah, he's missing his chance to see naked pre-pubescent girls without the cops catching him
there’d be no relief from that aching that tormented his soul. He just wanted it over and done with.
Raxis: I'll take care of that for you! :D *stabs him in the heart* There, torment over :)
Whatever the initiation was, it couldn’t be that bad.
ZeldaQueen: *MASSIVE EYE TWITCH* You naive bastard...
He wouldn’t have to take his clothes off, wouldn’t have to be naked, and so whatever else they wanted him to do he’d do, like it or not, as quickly as possible to get it over with.
Raxis: YOU HEAR THAT? THERE WILL BE NO NUDITY FROM EGGS BENEDICT. NOPE. NONE WHATSOEVER.
ZeldaQueen: *laughs heartily* Oh Neil, you dumb shit, you are so predictable!
Then… well, then he’d be part of the gang, and he’d just have to wait for the first opportunity to strip a girl.
ZeldaQueen: ... Things all boys look forward to in life. Having their first beer. Driving the car. Going on a date. Stripping an unwilling girl. The usual
He wasn’t religious, not in any sense, but he silently begged God that it would be today.
Raxis: If God existed in this fanfic, he would smite this little bastard.
ZeldaQueen: Wait, wait, hold on. He just prayed for God to give him a chance to see a girl get abducted and forcibly stripped naked, all so he could ogle her? What? What in the name of all that is holy makes this little prick think that God would even consider granting such a request? If anything, God would send him on the speedway to Hell! I mean that's... that's even more backwards than in Spider-Man 3, when Eddie Brock prayed to God to kill Peter Parker after he tried to get a job via fraudulent pictures!
Raxis: With any luck an evil alien symbiote can take him over and then get him blown up.
The building was further from this side of the depression
ZeldaQueen: No, you'll find that the building is actually the cause of my depression. Just wait and see what goes on in there...
than the opposite side, so Ben had plenty of time to assess it as they approached. It was longer than he had thought,
ZeldaQueen: I'd make a "that's what she said" joke, but I don't want to give Neil ideas
Raxis: I'm almost certain that wasn't an accident.
and probably had more than one room. There was even a suspicion that there might be a second floor, or a roof space at least. On this side he could see a boarded up window, and to the front a door, with a rickety porch. It was toward the porch that Paul was leading him.
ZeldaQueen: No, and here I thought Paul would lead him in through the boarded-up window!
There was no shrieking today. In fact Ben couldn’t see or hear any signs of life at all, and he wondered if maybe the building was empty.
Raxis: I can just hear his soul crying because he missed the chance for some easy naked young girls.
ZeldaQueen: Young Benedict seems to have a one-tracked mind, huh?
Wondered if Paul had been wrong about there being enough gang members present for the vote.
Raxis: Who did?
ZeldaQueen: If there was any justice at all, Paul would be planning to murder Benedict and dump his corpse in the backyard
Raxis: No, that's not enough. It needs to be burnt.
ZeldaQueen: Ohhh yeah!
Paul paused to push the creaky door open, and he stood aside to let Ben enter first. Ben looked at Paul, and then at the gloom within, and hesitated.
Raxis: What, is he expecting a ninja attack?
ZeldaQueen: No, no, given what these yahoos have in store for him, it's actually reasonable for him to be afraid of going inside
“Go on” said Paul, gesturing inside.
Ben swallowed hard,
ZeldaQueen: O_o I'm sorry. I've read what's going to happen in later chapters, and that phrase is killing me
girded himself, and then stepped under Paul’s arm into the building.
“Door on the right, just go in” said Paul.
Ben’s eyes took a little while to adjust to the dimness, and he took a few paces into the small entrance hall before fumbling his way to the door on the right. He pushed at it, staying back while it opened, and he was met by a ghostly light. Behind him he heard what sounded like the front door being bolted, and he turned back toward Paul looking scared.
Raxis: Who's scared, Paul? Is "looking scared" Paul's new nickname?
“In! Go on!” said Paul, a more commanding tone to his voice now.
ZeldaQueen: Normally I would wholeheartedly be on Paul's side, for trying to keep the story moving along. In this case though, I want to halt this fic with a Mac truck, if possible
Beginning to lose some of his courage, Ben faltered, until Paul caught him up and gave him a shove toward the opening. It was enough to get Ben going and he took three bold paces into the room before regaining his balance and steadying himself.
Both: DO SOMETHING!
It took Ben just a moment to take in the room and its occupants. Apart from himself and Paul, there were just three people present, all of them girls,
ZeldaQueen: Oh, OF COURSE! Heaven forbid we go through this oncoming orgy without preteen girls to cater to Neil's fetishes!
all of them sat on an old faded red settee.
Raxis: A what?
ZeldaQueen: It's sort of like a sofa
The first was the girl with the long blond hair who had been kneeling on the captive’s arm the other day. The second was the girl with the shoulder length black hair who had done the tickling, who had been about to pull off the captive’s knickers. The third was the younger girl with long blond hair who had startled him on the ridge. Now he could see the two of them together it was obvious the two blond girls were sisters.
Raxis: Oh THIS is uplifting.
ZeldaQueen: He walks in and sees three young, cute girls who were willingly helping to strip a girl. I'm picking up Emily vibes from these bitches
Raxis: So now we have Emily times three? Save me, Morrighan! ;~;
All three of them were smiling at him in a warm and welcoming way. There didn’t appear to be anything sinister in the room, or in their smiles, everything seemed very friendly.
Raxis: YUP, TOTALLY FRIENDLY, NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. ARE YOU REASSURED YET, AUDIENCE, I DON'T THINK NEIL WAS CERTAIN.
ZeldaQueen: If this was by anyone else, I'd think this was meant to throw the readers off track, making them think that these devil children were perfectly sweet and charming. Given Neil's mental state though, he probably is trying to get us to think that these kids really are good, aside from the abductions and rape
Ben exhaled suddenly, and relaxed a bit. His eyes were adjusting better now. There were enough small holes and gaps in the wooden walls that once he’d recovered from the brilliant sunshine outside, it seemed light enough in here to see perfectly well. Even the ghostly glow from the black haired girl’s laptop screen seemed to disappear.
ZeldaQueen: So they apparently get Wi-Fi in the creepy, abandoned building. Either that, or she plans on using a webcam to record the perverse things they have scheduled
“Hi” he said nervously.
“Hello Ben” said the black haired girl, who put her laptop down on the floor.
“Hi” said the other two.
“How did you know my name?” asked Ben.
ZeldaQueen: Seriously? THAT'S what you want to know?
“We know all about you” said the older blond. “We don’t just invite anyone into our gang you know. We do our homework.”
Raxis: What, so Eggs Benedict evidently has a record of extreme perversion?
ZeldaQueen: Apparently asking around to find the new kid's name is "doing their homework". And given what we're going to learn later, it's not like it would have been difficult for them to learn things about him
“We should introduce ourselves” suggested the black haired girl “I’m Victoria”
Raxis: Bitchtoria.
she said holding out her hand. Ben shook it “Hi” he said again.
“I’m Emily”
Raxis: Mary Two.
ZeldaQueen: *has seizures from the Hogwarts Exposed flashbacks*
said the older of the two blonds also holding out her hand. Ben shook it and nodded his head.
“I’m Alison”
Raxis: And Zoidberg. Ok, I couldn't think of an insulting nickname on the spot, rofl.
said the younger blond jumping to her feet and offering her hand with a big grin. Ben shook that hand too, and blushed slightly.
“We’ve already met really” said Alison.
Raxis: Where's this Really person hiding, then?
ZeldaQueen: So yeah, even though there is a Sue named Emily here, Alison is closest, personality-wise, to HE's Emily. Be very afraid
Raxis: Well this is just screwy, then.
“Why don’t you sit down.” suggested Victoria.
ZeldaQueen: Without a question mark, apparently. She's just that good
Ben sat on the floor, cross legged, and Paul who had been stood by the door, sat on the arm of the settee next to Victoria.
Raxis: Who stood Paul by the door? Did Really do it? Is Really their nicknamed for Paul?
“Before we start there are some basics we should explain” said Victoria, so just be patient, we’ll get the boring stuff over with as soon as possible, but it is important.”
ZeldaQueen: Okay, I'm scared. In a Neil fic, everything is either boring as shit or creepy pedo-porn. So no, stick with the boring stuff!
“Okay” said Ben nodding enthusiastically.
“First off: There are senior members of the gang, and junior members. To become a senior member you have to be in the gang for a year and a day.
ZeldaQueen: They make their rules via fairy tales, apparently
Raxis: Stop sounding like Gandalf, or I'll smite you guys, legolas by laura style.
So far we’ve only got three senior members, me, Emily, and Paul.
Raxis: Paul, Emily and myself! >:U
The gang hasn’t been around a year and a day yet, but since we founded it and it has to have senior members: that’s us.”
ZeldaQueen: *beats head against the wall from sheer boredom*
Raxis: This is the kind of thing you put into supplementary work.
“Am I a junior member then?” asked Ben.
“You’re not any kind of member yet” said Emily.
“Oh sorry. I knew that.” said Ben.
ZeldaQueen: Kid, you know fuck-all. Shut up!
“Second off:” said Victoria “The senior members are in charge, and the junior members have to do as they are told.
Raxis: NO, Who'da guess THAT?
ZeldaQueen: And we all know that Neil just looooooves making rules where kids just can't say no!
On big things we always have a vote, and everyone gets to vote even if they’re junior, but for the day to day stuff, the juniors do the chores and stuff. So you’ll have to do as you’re told. If you don’t do as you’re told you’ll be punished.”
Raxis: What happens when there ARE no Junior members anymore? Oh wait, silly me, they'll always somehow find an entourage of upstanding perverts to join their noble cause.
ZeldaQueen: Somehow, I think Neil was too busy whacking off to think that far ahead
Ben nodded again, a little less enthusiastically this time.
“Next: You can’t tell anyone about the gang or what we do. Everything the gang does is secret, and if you ever tell anyone you’ll be punished.”
ZeldaQueen: THAT WOULD BE A HINT, BENEDICT! THESE GUYS ARE NOT NICE!
“What do you mean punished?” asked Ben, feeling sure he wasn’t going to like the answer.
Raxis: Use some imagination, dumbass.
ZeldaQueen: He really shouldn't. This is a story by Neil, after all
“Punishments are decided by the senior members who will discuss what you’ve done wrong, and decide” said Emily.
Ben really didn’t like the sound of that “What sorts of things?
ZeldaQueen: Spanking. No, seriously. I read ahead
What if you don’t want to be punished?”
Raxis: ...Was this dumbass dropped on his HEAD one too many times?
ZeldaQueen: *rubs forehead* Benedict, is the concept of "punishment" really that foreign to you?
“You don’t have a choice, if it’s decided you’ll be punished, then you’ll be punished. There’s no escape” replied Victoria.
“You’ll have to wait and see” said Emily, a little impatiently.
ZeldaQueen: Creepy girls who are cheerfully talking about punishments. Yep, these are Neil's dream girls!
“There’s no need to worry” chimed in Alison “No-one’s been punished for anything yet.”
ZeldaQueen: Give it a few chapters. Neil will lovingly detail it, I assure you!
“He doesn’t need to know that” said Victoria a little crossly.
Raxis: (Bitchtoria): "We have to protect our image! >:O"
“Sorry, I was only saying” said Alison.
“The worst punishment will be for telling gang secrets. The punishment for that will be truly awful” added Paul.
Raxis: So what's the punishment for reporting you sorry bastards to the police like you deserve?
ZeldaQueen: I smell a spite fic! 8D
Ben nodded again, slowly, promising himself he would never reveal any of the gang’s secrets.
ZeldaQueen: So he'll never tell anyone that he's in a group that abducts and tortures kids. What a fantastic guy! And no, Neil, you can't say he's doing it out of fear. He showed no inclination to turn these bastards in even before he was threatened
“The newest member is always the most junior, and they get more chores to do than anyone, and that’s going to be you, if you join. At least until someone new joins” said Victoria.
Raxis: What's all this about chores, anyways? Somebody to clean up the mess afterwards?
ZeldaQueen: Most likely, yes
“How long will it be until someone else joins?” asked Ben.
“That depends” replied Emily.
Raxis: It depends on when Neil needs a new fetish fulfilled.
“I was the most junior until a couple of days ago” said Alison chirpily.
“We had a new member join recently” said Emily.
“She’s not going to be junior for very long” said Alison with just a hint of jealousy in her voice.
Raxis: What, she's been in for 366 days already? How'd she manage that before the rest of you did?
“Luck of the draw” said Paul sympathetically.
Raxis: We don't know in what way he's doing it sympathetically. I mean, Neil could have written like Paul shook his head, or clapped a hand to Zoidberg's shoulder while he said it.
“How many are there in the gang?” asked Ben.
“We’ll tell you that if you join” said Victoria.
“Do you want to join or not?” asked Paul.
ZeldaQueen: (Paul) "We'll only sexually harass and assault you if you don't!"
Ben thought about it for a while. It didn’t seem too bad. Some chores to do, couldn’t be much, and he’d have to make sure he didn’t do anything wrong, didn’t warrant any kind of punishment. On the other hand: naked girls.
Raxis: Oh, I forgot, the naked girls bit is a FUCKING POSITIVE TO THIS SORRY PIECE OF FILTH.
ZeldaQueen: Cheer up. As disgusting as the next few chapters are, at least he gets some karmic distribution dished back
“Okay” he said nodding more definitely this time.
“You’re a very lucky boy” said Victoria.
“Am I?” asked Ben.
“Yes. If you’d said no then you’d have been in trouble. You were spying on us the other day, and invading our territory.
Raxis: Where's the deed, bitch? This isn't your "territory". You remind me of one of those stupid Deku Scrubs.
ZeldaQueen: So nice to see these guys are so protective of their vital regions. Can we get Prussia in here, to awesome things up a lot? Or at least kick their asses?
Normally we’d have caught you and brought you here and punished you, like we did with the girl you saw.”
Raxis: Yup, they'd drag him the whole three miles, kicking and screaming the whole way.
Ben gulped and his eyes widened a little in fear.
“But we discussed it between ourselves and decide to give you a break” said Paul.
“If you joined the gang, we’d let you off, but if you didn’t…” added Emily ominously.
“Okay, I’m joining” said Ben “I said I was didn’t I?”
ZeldaQueen: ...And this doesn't give you pause, you moron? You don't stop and think "These guys would have turned on me so quickly, maybe they won't be very good friends"? Of course not. You're only interested in naked girls, and as long as you get that, you're fine
“You’ve got to pass the initiation yet” said Alison with a big smirk on her face “If you fail that you won’t be a member of the gang.”
“And then we will have to punish you” added Victoria.
ZeldaQueen: Okay, seriously, can you guys shut up about the punishment, already?
Raxis: Of course they can't, punishment gets Neil giddy.
Ben looked round at them all, his jaw dropping and the bottom falling out of his stomach.
Raxis: Ewwww, clean that up! D:
He definitely definitely did not want to be punished. Whatever this initiation was he was determined to pass it with flying colours.
ZeldaQueen: Of course in this case, the initiation will be just as bad, if not worse, than the punishment
“I’m ready” he said finally.
“Alison” said Victoria, and Alison jumped from the settee to fetch an old mug from a shelf.
Raxis: I'll just picture she jumped Mario-style.
ZeldaQueen: Anything to distract ourselves from what's about to happen
She grabbed the mug and bounded over to Ben,
Raxis: Actually with all the jumping she's doing, I might be on to something with this Mario thing...
holding it out to him. Ben took it and peered into it. The mug was empty, and looked clean. He looked up at Victoria questioningly.
“Piss in it!” she said.
ZeldaQueen: ...Of course. What were you guys expecting, something age-appropriate here?
“What?” he asked, not believing what he had just heard.
Raxis: Yeah, I'm with Eggs Benedict for once.
“You heard me. Piss in it!” she repeated.
Ben stared at her, then into the mug.
“Unless you want to fail the initiation” giggled Alison.
ZeldaQueen: *growls* Shut up, you annoying little twit!
Raxis: I'm renaming her Emily. Now for all you sporkers, just remember that the ACTUAL Emily in this fic is going to be called "Mary Two" by me. Formerly Zoidberg will be called Emily by me. But Queeny will probably be calling Mary Two Emily. I'm glad to have confusioned up the clarity :)
ZeldaQueen: Given how the Emily of this fic has done fuck-all thus far, I doubt there will be that big a problem
Ben, blushing slightly, broke eye contact with Victoria, took a quick breath of air then took a step towards the door.
“No you don’t” said Paul standing to block the door “In here.”
ZeldaQueen: (Paul) "The author needs a nice wank right now"
“No not in here, let me go outside, in the corridor at least” said Ben.
“I had to do it in here, and I’m a girl” said Alison crossly “and it’s a lot easier for a boy.”
ZeldaQueen: This is going to be a reoccuring justification. No, Neil, having them say "I did it too" doesn't make it any better
“Forget it” said Emily “Let’s just get on with the punishment.”
Raxis: (Mary Two): "Which ALSO involves pissing in the cup!" Actually, I wouldn't be terrible surprised if it did.
ZeldaQueen: No, it would more likely involve a riding crop and a whip
“No, I’ll do it” said Ben emphatically.
Raxis: What did that mean? What is Emphatically? Neil, if you're using words that *I* don't know, you've hit issues.
ZeldaQueen: Right. We are scripting this next bit, for the sanity of all involved
Benedict: *pissing into a cup* Hm, allow me to describe this all in the most nausating detail possible. My author does get off on that, after all, though he usually prefers to hear about little girls doing it. Hey, let me make mention of my "quite flaccid penis", since I'm sure you were all wondering what state my twelve-year-old junk was in!
ZeldaQueen: *has vomited into her bucket*
Raxis: Right now I'm so glad I didn't have the "privilage" to read the original version.
Alison: As the Emily expy of this story, I admire his butt.
Everyone Else Present: *also admires Benedict's ass*
Neil: Don't you all just love the ass of me my self-insert my main character?
ZeldaQueen: *flatly* No
Raxis: He probably doesn't care about your opinion anyways, Queeny; you're not young enough to stir his fancy.
ZeldaQueen: A fact of which I am eternally grateful
Victoria: Okay, now that you've finished pissing into that cup, you get to swear on it. "By this piss, and all the piss inside of me..."
ZeldaQueen: Hand to God, I am making not a word of this up, dear viewers
Raxis: Is this like some stupid religion? Shouldn't they be swearing by semen instead or something? That'd be a bit more fitting.
ZeldaQueen: For the love of Christ, NO! No bringing semen into this thing!
Raxis: Sorry ^^u
Benedict: *performs the extremely stupid oath, which no child would ever come up with in reality* Okay, now what?
Victoria: Well, dur! You've got a cup of piss, kid! What do you think we're going to ask you to do?
Raxis: Well the rational thing would be to flush it down the toilet, but rationality has long since gone out the window.
Benedict: *whines* I don't wanna!
ZeldaQueen: I don't have an ounce of sympathy for you, you putrid pile of elephant droppings. You're the one who thought it would be great to join a gang of pre-teen, sex-obsessed delinquints, just so you could see underaged breasts from kidnapped girls!
Everyone: *threatens Benedict with vague threats, which Neil no doubt has fun imagining*
Benedict: Fine! *does exactly what you'd expect someone in a fanfiction written by Neil to do with a cup of piss*
ZeldaQueen: *has Round 2 with the bucket*
Raxis: I didn't even have to read it and it's disgusting me too...
Everyone: Drink it all, kid!
Benedict: *does so*
ZeldaQueen: *weakly* Don't anyone complain that I'm skipping over this bit. I'm doing you all a favor! Now, back to the sporking...
“Is that it, am I in the gang now?” asked Ben only too well aware of the foul taste in his mouth.
ZeldaQueen: Neil, you made me vomit twice already. If it goes for three, I'm hunting you down and killing you
Raxis: Let me join in!
“No. You haven’t finished yet. The last part is the test. We need to test you to make sure we can trust you. If you pass the test you’ll be accepted into the gang” she said solemnly.
“But if you fail the test” said Emily “You’ll be rejected from the gang.”
Raxis: (Mary Two): "If you do so-so, we'll have to spend the weekend deliberating your fate."
“And punished” added Alison quickly and cheerily.
Raxis: Emily sure loves her punishments...
ZeldaQueen: I want to kill this little whore. Not even one chapter with her, and I want her to die in the most painful ways possible
“What… what… what’s the test?” asked Ben reluctantly, feeling sure he didn’t want to know.
“Take off your shoes and socks, and come with us” said Vitoria rising from the settee.
Raxis: (Bitchtoria): "We wanna see how good you are at walking on coals!"
ZeldaQueen: Oh, so it's a test of fashion! See, this is why it's important to make sure you're wearing tasteful, matching socks and shoes! You might get abducted by a group of fashion-conscious perverted children, and THEN you'll be sorry!
Ben definitely did not like the sound of this, but he was trapped. What could he do? He stooped down, and undid the laces on his Reebok trainers, pulled the trainers off then repeated the process with the socks.
ZeldaQueen: Normally I'd chalk this up to Neil's padding, but given how much detail was put into HE's Emily putting on a pair of socks and shoes? I think our friend here has a foot fetish
“Where are we going?” he asked in a very small voice.
Raxis: Into the dark corners of Neil's twisted mind.
“Next door” said Victoria picking up her laptop, and Ben realised that must be the room he had seen them strip the girl in. But Paul had promised him he wouldn’t be stripped. Hadn’t he?
Raxis: (weak laughter) Eggs Benedict, you are a fool.
ZeldaQueen: He really, really is. Let's just say for now that these assholes LOVE loophole abuses
Ben followed the girls with his head down, shoulders slumped; scared half to death. Paul followed him.
Raxis: And the chapter's end abruptly brought up the rearguard, thank god for that. So we're done for tonight, yay :'D
Onward to: Chapter 4 - The Test (Part 1)
Back to: Chapter 2 - The Invitation
Return to: Table of Contents