The Gang: Chapter 4 - The Test (Part 1)
ZeldaQueen: Once again, warnings! This chapter contains a detailed description of a twelve-year-old being strung up and forcibly stripped and tickled, while he makes it clear he doesn't consent!
Projection Room Voices: Warning, regular M.A.R.Y.S.U.E. sporking protocol overriden! Starting Media in 3...2...1...
The Test (Part 1)
Raxis: Testing?
Save us, GLaDOS D:
ZeldaQueen: In a fic written by Neil, that fills me with dread
The girls had gone in ahead of him, with Ben following like a man going to the gallows.
ZeldaQueen: Raxis, I'm an desperately trying not to make a joke about this little pervert losing one of his heads
Raxis: protip; he'd feel worse about losing the bottom one.
ZeldaQueen: Well, dur. It's not like he's putting the top one to much use
Paul closed the door once he had entered behind Ben. The floor of the room felt smooth under Ben’s naked feet, unlike the hallway which had been rough and dusty.
Raxis: It's a little know fact that this gang sands and waxes this particular room's floor religiously.
He looked round:
ZeldaQueen: He appeared fat?
there were old wooden cabinets in here, which looked like they were still in decent condition, and at one side of the room were a number or old arm chairs and dining chairs, above which was a shelf covered with old and ornate looking wooden boxes; a small table stood in the corner.
ZeldaQueen: *cheerfully* I don't give a damn!
Raxis: Shhhh, it's delaying the sex.
ZeldaQueen: Oh Christmas, you're right! *shuts up*
As the girls selected chairs to sit in, he noticed that one side of the room had a boarded up window with big gaps in it, which if he had abandoned his small hole
ZeldaQueen: *SNRK* XD
and continued around the building the other day, he would have been able to use to get a much better view of the nearly naked captive.
Raxis: Always a lovely prospect...
A moment’s regret gave way to the realisation that he would soon be seeing plenty of naked girls, close up and in the flesh.
ZeldaQueen: JESUS H. CHRIST, what is WRONG with this kid? If, by some stretch of the imagination, it's believable that a twelve-year-old kid is just an early bloomer who happens to be turned on by a girl getting molested, WHY IS HE SO TRAUMATIZED BY THIS? I'm pretty sure most people aren't this hot and bothered when they're interrupted while watching their favorite kinks!
Raxis: There's something very very wrong with him.
He was brought back to the present by Victoria, who broke the silence with:
ZeldaQueen: - a very loud fart
“Alison”.
Raxis: She used Emily like a bludgeon upon the silence. Actually, I like the idea of hitting stuff with that bint! :D
ZeldaQueen: Not the real Alison, mind. This one is an evil, robotic double. Actually, given how she acts like no actual preteen would, that makes sense
Like before, Alison immediately jumped to her feet and this time crossed to one of the cabinets. She pulled open a drawer and fiddled
ZeldaQueen: Huh, a budding pervert and a violinist! Clearly, Alison is a girl of great depths!
Raxis: Oh, by all means, poke around. Hopefully you'll hit some sharp tools or dangerous small animals.
inside for a short time while Ben watched her closely, afraid of what she might bring him this time. She approached him with a large white pill.
ZeldaQueen: Yeah, knowing this lot, I would REALLY think twice about eating any pills they offered me
“Extra strong mint” she said “Eat it!”
Raxis: This is uplifting.
“It’s to get rid of the horrible taste in your mouth…” added Emily “…and so your breath doesn’t stink.”
Raxis: This dumbshit isn't REALLY going to fall for that, is he?
ZeldaQueen: Well, it is what they say it is, for once. I'm just concentrating on that terribly-written sentence, to distract myself from the fact that they're talking about his piss-breath
Ben inspected it suspiciously for a second, then, satisfied it was what they’d said it was, popped it into his mouth and sucked.
ZeldaQueen: O__O
The flavour of the mint was overpowering, but it did purge his mouth of the taste of piss.
Raxis: Thanks for reminding us.
He stood, self consciously, not quite sure what to do with his hands, while the others just watched him.
Raxis: Use your imagination! >:U
ZeldaQueen: Weird, he already thought up that one. I guess he's got memory loss
“It’s all right…” said Victoria “take your time. There’s no rush.”
The four of them studied him carefully while he rolled the mint round his mouth, scouring it carefully, and only too well aware that they were all staring at him. Their eyes flicked up and down, taking in every detail of his body.
ZeldaQueen: Gah! Cue infodump in three...two...one...
His fair hair, not quite blond, not quite light brown, was in need of a cut as it straggled close to his collar
ZeldaQueen: Ten bucks says that Neil has scraggly, long hair in real life
and nearly covered his hazel eyes, which betrayed the faintest flicker of fear. His slightly flushed cheeks bulged alternately as he shifted the mint back and forth.
ZeldaQueen: I really don't want to hear about anything on this kid bulging
His nose was small, pointing ever so slightly upwards. His lips were reddish and quite full, sitting above a good strong jaw.
Raxis: Shouldn't we have gotten a description of our "hero" two or three chapters ago?
ZeldaQueen: Um...all I can think of is that Neil implicitely said "This boy's got a pretty mouth!"
A long slim neck joined his head to his body,
ZeldaQueen: - Making it sound like he's Frankenstein's Monster, though that would be an insult to the Monster
covered on the top part by a mustard yellow shirt of thick cotton, with the long sleeves rolled casually back. The bottom part was covered by his favourite faded black jeans, which had already been washed, dried and ironed by his conscientious mother. There was nothing to see at the front of his trousers, the only bulge being supplied by the heavy cotton of his fly.
ZeldaQueen: Neil, regardless of what your delusions tell you, women do not want to hear about the bulges around your fly!
His bare feet, below neat little ankles,
ZeldaQueen: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, I DON'T CARE THAT THIS KID HAS DAINTY ANKLES OR WHATEVER!
Also, is it just me, or does it seem like Neil is describing Benedict in...rather delicate, feminine terms? Um...
were clean on the top, and his toes flexed up and down self consciously.
While they regarded him, he regarded them. Victoria was the beauty, not only did she have the face of an angel, but under her tight fitting red shirt Ben could see the firm swellings of real breasts.
Raxis: Gotta love dat 14 year old bewbage!
ZeldaQueen: Gotta love how he jumps from calling her an angel to admiring her coconuts. That's got to take talent, crossing the Madonna/Whore dichotomy up like that
She must have been fourteen, or nearly so anyway, and that top curved down over a flat tummy and took his eyes to the tight blue jeans that swept away between her legs. He almost groaned again.
Raxis: You know, dumbass, women tend to hit puberty a little later than boys. Best out of five you're gonna see girls at 14 looking like slightly feminine boys still.
ZeldaQueen: I'd ask why every girl in this fic dresses in extremely fanservicy clothes but...I kind of answered my own question. Fanservice for Neil
Emily was beautiful too, just like her sister Alison, but just not quite as much as Victoria. Her breasts weren’t as well developed,
Raxis: Again, 13 or 14 at best.
ZeldaQueen: Neil likes 'em that way.
... Oh God, now I'm going to Hell. Thanks, Neil! >_<
but still developed enough to attract his eye to her lacy white shirt. Emily wore a skirt, as she had done before. Long enough to come down to just below her knee, and every time she shifted, Ben was treated to a tantalising view of beautiful long golden legs.
Raxis: Does she have like Super Saiyan leg hairs or something?
ZeldaQueen: Yeah, work those legs. Work those sexy, sexy, preteen legs! *is ill*
Alison wore a t-shirt, a green one that was quite loose, but when she moved, Ben could just make out small swellings on her chest that promised some breast development. Her skirt was shorter, tighter, and showed her curvy bottom off to good effect.
ZeldaQueen: ... Remember that mention of her butt. It's going to come back to haunt us in THE WORST POSSIBLE WAY
Raxis: AGAIN, SHE'S 12! TWELVETWELVETWELVE! SHE PROBABLY HAS THE ASS OF A FUCKING BOY!
He wasn’t absolutely sure, but he thought that maybe, just maybe, he caught the occasional flicker of pink knickers as she crossed and uncrossed her legs.
ZeldaQueen: Given how she's the obvious HE!Emily expy here, I'm surprised she's not outright mooning him
Raxis: At least we have that small comfort that she's actually WEARING panties. For now.
ZeldaQueen: Not for long. It ties into the "cute ass" thing
Right at that moment in time Ben would probably have sold his soul to the devil, just to see one of these girls naked.
ZeldaQueen: I wish he would. Then he would go to Hell, and everyone would be happy
He felt himself swelling
Raxis:
Like that?
as he tried to imagine what they would look like, and realising he was still stood before them, with all their eyes on him, he shut that out of his mind.
ZeldaQueen: *tiredly* This guy seems to have some sort of health issue, probably the opposite of erectile dysfunction. Because God DAMN, I find it hard to believe that a normal guy gets this aroused every time he sees a person remotely attractive
‘Soon enough’ he thought; soon enough he’d see a girl naked. Maybe not one of these girls, but a girl nonetheless.
ZeldaQueen: Okay Raxis, I have a proposal for you! Every time Benedict here rails on about how he wants to see a naked girl, we show a video or a picture of something we'd like to do to this asshole
Raxis: Oh, gladly! :D I'll begin!
Without thinking he began to crunch on the mint, reducing it quickly to hot burning gravel, which he swallowed.
Raxis: What was IN that mint?
ZeldaQueen: And why is it so noteworthy that he swallowed it? Did Neil think we'd just assume he left it melting in his mouth?
“Finished?” asked Victoria.
Raxis: Don't we wish.
ZeldaQueen: No, Victoria, this wankfest is just beginning
Ben nodded, having a feeling that something bad was about to happen.
Raxis: I wonder if this calls for another "I've got a bad feeling about this" reference? XD
ZeldaQueen: Hey, I know that feeling! I've been having it since we began this sporking!
“Come and sit over here with me” said Victoria, shifting across in the big armchair she was sat in, and patting the space next her. Ben crossed the smooth floor between them cautiously, looking round at the others to see if they were about to jump him or anything, but no-one moved.
Raxis: Dude, they've got you cornered in the heart of their little perv-den. They don't NEED a sneak attack.
Ben sat, perching himself on the edge of the seat defensively.
ZeldaQueen: And then, I jumped out from behind the sofa and shot him. The end! :D
“Come on, sit back properly” Victoria encouraged.
ZeldaQueen: "Sit back properly"? What, is he sitting on his head or something?
Ben shuffled backwards, and leant
Raxis: LEANED.
against the back of the chair, flinching when she brought her arm round to encircle his shoulders. She gave him a comforting squeeze. He felt the warmth of her body radiating through his shirt, and smelt a sweet, slightly citrus, odour. He relaxed into the blissful sensuality of it, and felt himself begin to stiffen again.
Raxis: I'm going to hope the citrus was perfume.
ZeldaQueen: I'm hoping that someone will give him a swift kick to the balls
“Look, Ben” she said, her arm still around his shoulders and giving him a gentle shake, “we like you, and we want you to be part of our gang. If we didn’t you wouldn’t be here. Or at least not like this. Okay?”
ZeldaQueen: (Victoria) "We like you, which is the only reason we haven't abducted and molested you. We want you to join our gang and help us abduct and molest other unsuspecting kids! You do want to be one of the cool kids, don't you?" Yeah, real great people here
Ben, even more relaxed now by this reassuring pep talk, nodded, “Okay” he responded, smiling for the first time.
Raxis: He's getting way loose, maaaaaaaaaan. Far oooooout...
ZeldaQueen: What, he wasn't smiling during his fantasies about nekked girls?
“The last part of the initiation is the test,
Raxis:
Let's get him into GLaDOS' tests! >D
and it’s hard Ben,
ZeldaQueen: Yeah, we know Benedict's hard. What else is new?
I want you to be really brave for me okay?” she said almost purring at him.
Raxis: She turned into a cat?
ZeldaQueen: How does one "almost" purr? Either you do it, or you don't
He nodded again, a little more slowly this time, the mention of the test making him feel considerably less relaxed.
ZeldaQueen: If it is worth anything, I feel the same
“We all want you to do well, and to pass, you just have to be brave. Okay? Can you do that for me?” she asked.
Raxis: Oh yeah, Eggs Benedict is just a font of virtue.
ZeldaQueen: I have no idea why they want this yahoo to even be in their club. He's horny and that's about it. He's also a sniveling coward, with nary a backbone or hint of being clever or intuitive!
“I can be brave” he said “I am brave.” He was convinced now: he would have to fight a bear or something; perhaps there really were bears in the forest after all.
Raxis: We can only hope :D
ZeldaQueen: *facepalm* Benedict, you're a dumbass
“Good boy” say Victoria, and she leaned across slightly and kissed him on the cheek. Ben flushed, and just managed to prevent himself from saying “Errrrrrr!” and pulling away in disgust, but actually it wasn’t disgusting.
Raxis: Bitchtoria DID have raw sewage for saliva, but Eggs wasn't bothered by that.
ZeldaQueen: Neil, how does that sentence work? You should have said "he pretended to pull away in disgust,
but secretly enjoyed it"
It had felt really nice, and his already burgeoning penis leapt and grew suddenly to full size. He dropped his hands in his lap.
Raxis: Err, you might wanna get that checked on, Eggs. They're not supposed to spontaneously grow.
ZeldaQueen: Clearly Benedict got into his father's Viagra and is having one of those "more than four hours" issues
Raxis: XD
“Paul’s going to give you a secret. We don’t know what it’s going to be, but whatever you do you must not tell us. Alright? Under no circumstances are you to tell us what the secret is. This is the test. We need to be certain that we can trust you with our secrets. Understand?”
Raxis: So the local police use sexual torture to get convicts to spill their secrets? Wow, Britain's got a TOUGH criminal system.
ZeldaQueen: Probably more like Neil saw a porn where the local police use sexual torture on convicts. These guys' minds are only wired for one thing, after all
Ben didn’t understand. It sounded too easy. Paul tells him a secret; he keeps his mouth shut. He nodded anyway.
ZeldaQueen: ...Yes, because nothing thus far has given him any indicator of what these bozos intend to do to him
Raxis: Easy? Yeah right; all these girls have to do is offer to take their tops off and Eggs will spill...
As Ben looked across at Paul, still sat on the arm of the chair on Victoria’s other side, he saw the screen of Victoria’s laptop for the first time and his brow creased slightly. There were eight small windows arranged neatly around the screen, and each one seemed to show a view of the hollow from all around the wooden building. Suddenly he realised they must have cameras hidden somewhere, and they must have seen him when he was spying the other day. He already knew that they knew, but he hadn’t known how they had known.
ZeldaQueen: *HEAD DESK*
Raxis: ... Really? There's so many problems with this, where to begin? Number one, how the hell does a fourteen year old learn how to set up CCTV cameras and then link them to her computer? Number two, where'd they get the money for EIGHT of them? Number three, where's the power outlets in this wooden abandoned building? Number 4, where did they set up in secret? Your standard Camera that you could expect to be available for the casual market is going to be reasonably big, and if you're hiding it behind something it ruins the whole point of it being a camera. If you've got eight of them, any intruder would have to be BLIND not to notice at least one. In short, this whole matter is idiotic.
ZeldaQueen: For that matter, how do they replace or protect these camers from the elements? Neil is aware of things like "wind" and "rain" and "animals", isn't he? Any of those things would knock the cameras over, or completely ruin them
Raxis: Another good one! Neil seems to be going for something stupid like a Secret Agent Villain setup, or something.
ZeldaQueen: Also, we're going to find out that these cameras are how the little bastards see kids in the area and know to get them. What do they do if there's an adult wandering in the area, pray tell? Or a police officer? Like Raxis noted, the cameras are going to be noticable and, given the aforementioned wind and rain, surely they're going to be knocked out of any hiding places! Plus, given that they're almost certainly going to be destroyed by storms or animals, that means that the local stores are going to be getting kids buying eight or more of the same type of cameras. Add that to the fact that kids are systematically and meticulously being tracked down and hurt after they all go into that particular forest, and there's no fucking way these assholes are going to get away with this!
Raxis: Only in Neil's world.
ZeldaQueen: I wonder how he'd handwave all of that. Probably would ignore it, most likely..
“Did you see me then? Sneak up? The other day?” he asked before thinking.
Raxis: And apparently without speaking in full setences either.
“Actually, no” said Paul seeing where Ben was now looking, “We were a bit distracted, with the girl and all.”
Raxis: (Paul): "She was doing slapstick, it was awesome."
ZeldaQueen: Because molestation requires one's full and undivided attention
"We saw you run away though” said Emily “I’ve never seen anyone move so fast.”
Raxis: Eggs Benedict is a pro at running away from his problems.
Ben felt embarrassed by his earlier panic and concentrated his attention on the screen to distract himself from it. And then he saw her. The figure was too far away and the picture wasn’t good enough to see clearly, but there was definitely what looked like a girl, maybe picking flowers. She had her back to the camera, so he couldn’t tell if she was pretty, or even how old she was, but he was certain it was a girl.
Raxis: Given this is Neil, I'm going to assume she's pre-pubescent. Standard stuff for him. Now, if she has her back to the camera, how can he tell it's a girl? It could be an effeminate boy for all we know.
ZeldaQueen: In Neil's mind, she's probably got a cute little sundress on or something. *feels ill* And don't you just LOVE him talking about girls like he's spotting wild game to hunt down? And by "love", I mean "hate with the fury of a thousand suns"?
“There’s a girl!” he blurted out “Are we going to get her?” he added desperately.
Raxis: Fuck you, Eggs. That eager to molest an innocent girl?
ZeldaQueen: I've got this one!
Click to viewI've got a special dream, just for you, Benedict! :D
“Not yet” said Victoria “First we have to finish your initiation.”
“But she might leave, we might miss the chance” he complained.
Raxis: DAMMIT! FUCK YOU TO HELL, YOU BASTARD!
The little girls aren't so cute when they're blasting your sick ass with Divine Buster, are there?!
“We’ll find her. I promise.” reassured Victoria.
Raxis: RUN WHILE YOU CAN D:
“And we’ll strip her?” he asked excitedly.
ZeldaQueen: ...
Raxis: He's determined to make us hate him in no time flat.
“You are a randy little bugger aren’t you?” said Victoria “You’d never guess looking at you.”
ZeldaQueen: Neil, it's a bad sign when your own perverted characters are pointing out how your self insert is so ridiculously horny
Ben was over the moon, he hadn’t expected to be able to take part in his first girl stripping this soon. Things were most definitely looking up.
Raxis: Here, this is a little older than your preference Neil, Eggs but here's a sexy lady to FRY YOUR WORTHLESS ASS:
Paul beckoned Ben with a finger, and Ben climbed off the chair reluctantly leaving behind Victoria’s scent and body warmth. He crossed to Paul’s side, and Paul bent to his ear to whisper “Halicarnassus” Ben screwed his face up “What?”, “Halicarnassus” repeated Paul.
ZeldaQueen: Apparently Neil was so busy wanking that he forgot to give each line of dialogue its own line
Raxis: What the fuck is Halicarnassus? Eggs will be lucky if he even remembers this stupid secret.
ZeldaQueen: Apparently Halicarnassus was an ancient Greek city, and one of the seven wonders of the ancient world. Given Neil's very one-tracked mind, I'm wondering if it also wasn't known for some sort of ephebophilia
reasons, as well
“What’s that?” asked Ben.
“The secret you bozo” said Paul.
ZeldaQueen: What is "you bozo" and why is this one secret?
“I’m not going to remember that” complained Ben in what he hoped was a quiet enough whisper that the girls wouldn’t hear.
Paul smiled at him “All the better then” and capped it off with a wink. Ben’s face suddenly lit up “Oh! I get it.” And he nodded enthusiastically, returning the smile.
Raxis:
“Ready?” asked Victoria.
“You bet” said Ben.
“Come back to me then sweety” Victoria said.
Raxis: Strap yourselves in, folks.
ZeldaQueen: *has nausea bucket at hand*
Still grinning,
Raxis: Vaguely. Like the drooling moron he is. Wheatley would be offended by the sheer display of stupidity.
Ben took a pace sideways to stand in front of Victoria, and then the smile dropped from his face as he saw her pull what looked like handcuffs from down the side of the chair.
“What are those for?” he asked.
ZeldaQueen: In case you committ a crime during this initiation. WHAT DO YOU THINK?
Raxis: It's amazing how stupid one guy can be.
“Give me your hands” she said, still smiling at him in a friendly manner.
Raxis: (Eggs): "Duuuuuh, okay! :D *removes them*"
“But, what… what are those for?” he asked again, keeping his hands by his sides.
ZeldaQueen: Okay, I know that not all kids would know the implications of handcuffs, but given that this moron already suspects these guys of trying to trap him, you'd think he'd be getting ready to run for the hills
Raxis: I know you use your hands exclusively for wanking, Eggs, but the rest of us put them to a variety of uses.
“They’re for the test” said Victoria evenly
Raxis: How're Eggs' hands gonna be used for the test?
“Unless you want to give us the secret now.”
Raxis: Look, the only reason I can remember the word is because it's the name of a boss from Final Fantasy 5. Eggs probably forgot it almost immediately... Unfortunately, I now have the sick thought of Neil being a Final Fantasy fan. The idea of having anything in common with him depresses me.
“No I’m not giving you the secret, but what’s that got to do with those things?” he asked.
Raxis: My god, he's slow.
“Come on Ben, you promised me you’d be brave. Now be a brave boy and give me your hands” she said, her voice silky smooth.
“If you don’t want to take the test we can always just punish you” said Alison brightly.
Raxis I've fucking had it up to here with punishment coming from you, you little bitch.
ZeldaQueen: Hun, I'm already thinking of a punishment for you. It involves a long spitefic that involves the police being called on your scrawny asses, and it looks to be most satisfying
Raxis: Do it. Please do it.
ZeldaQueen: As soon as I get the chance, I will!
“She’s right you know” added Emily.
Raxis: When did Mary Two become "right you know?" That's an odd nickname.
“Come on” Victoria mouthed silently, encouragingly.
ZeldaQueen: On a grammer-related note, Neil, put commas at the end of dialogue, you idiot
Ben raised his hands with reluctance, but he was determined to be brave, and he wanted to get this test over as quickly as possible so that there’d still be time to catch the girl outside.
ZeldaQueen: Raxis, do you think if we gave this shitwhipe a lobotomy he'd STOP THINKING ABOUT ABDUCTING AND FORCIBLY STRIPPING GIRLS?
Raxis: I don't know, but I do know it's your turn again.
ZeldaQueen: Hm... okay! Neil's into Ancient Greece, is he? Enjoy Cronus, beyotch!
Raxis: o_e
Victoria snapped the handcuffs round Ben’s wrists with practised dexterity,
Raxis: She's got a +5 mod, you know.
ZeldaQueen: ...I don't want to know why a fourten-year-old is "practised" in the art of handcuffing someone
and then she looked up at Alison, “Alison” she said.
Raxis: Yes she is.
Alison leapt up enthusiastically, returning to one of the cabinets, and she pulled out a length of thick nylon rope. Ben watched, his heart rate speeding up. He really didn’t know where this was going, but he didn’t like it.
Raxis: Are they gonna use it to strangle him? Please tell me they are!
ZeldaQueen: We should be so lucky!
Paul got up too, grabbed a dining chair,
ZeldaQueen: So does the chair dine, or is it for dining? Are they supposed to eat the chair?
and met Alison half way across the room. Standing on the chair, he took the rope from Alison and threaded it through one of several iron rings screwed into a beam in the ceiling.
Raxis: They're gonna hang him, even better!
ZeldaQueen: Okay, how did they fix an iron ring in the ceiling? They would have to screw it in there, and given that it's a ceiling beam, surely they'd have to plan to make sure they weren't going to weaken it and cause the damned thing to break (which, if the house is so old, might be tricky). They would have to purchase the iron ring (oh sorry, rings, because clearly one person at a time isn't enough for these fuckers) and besides the question of how they got the money for this, again there is the question of why no one got suspicious of a bunch of children purchasing solid iron rings and a way to screw them into a ceiling. Also, unless the ceiling is miraculously within arm's reach of a preteen, they would have to think of a reliable means to screw the rings in there. And I mean REALLY screw them in there, given that they're going to be having people attached to them struggling to get free. Again, if the wood is so old, it's gonna splinter and break! Finally, how in God's Green Earth would they get the tools necessary for all of this? I think their parents would notice them making off with a power drill! Add in the fact that apparently a bunch of PRETEENS decided to do all of this, and IT MAKES NO GODDAMMED SENSE!
Raxis: If that was tl;dr for you, Queeny's simply making a valid point that this whole iron ring thingy is silly and would never work in real life. Unfortunately, this is Neil's world.
“Come on Ben, over here” said Alison chirpily.
ZeldaQueen: Neil, the adverbs hate your guts
Ben looked at Victoria, and again she mouthed to him silently “Go on”, and smiled reassuringly. Ben hesitated, not
knowing what to do, not knowing what they were going to do. He tried to comfort himself with the knowledge that it couldn’t be too bad. Maybe they were going to beat him up a bit.
ZeldaQueen: Christ, we should be so lucky!
Raxis: Doitdoitdoitdoitdoitdoit!
He didn’t like the thought of that, but he had promised to be brave. He imagined himself hanging from the ceiling, a black eye, blood streaming from his nose, a thick lip, and him grinning back,
Raxis: (tears of joy from the mental image)
spitting “You’ll never make me talk” at them, as the girls, eyes wide with admiration, sighed dreamily “You’re so brave”.
Raxis: Nothing turns on a young girl better than a guy who got the crap kicked out of him. By the girls.
ZeldaQueen: Because women are all googly-eyed dolls who go weak in the knees for a Big Strong Man. Cram it Neil, you misogynistic ass!
He turned slowly, all ready to play his starring role in this drama, and presented his cuffed wrists to Paul “Do your worst” he said confidently.
ZeldaQueen: Benedict, Albert Dantes you are not
Victoria looked across at Emily and shrugged, raising her arms in a Gallic “What?” gesture. Emily shook her head back, equally uncomprehending.
Raxis: There Neil goes again, using big words because he thinks it makes him look smart. Neil, the word were you looking for was "shrug", savvy? Using big fancy words doesn't make you look smart; I did that once in a parody I wrote of Final Fantasy 10, and I used my microsoft word thesauras to make Kimahri say big words. He called himself, instead of the water boy, the "two parts hydrogen one part oxygen provider."
“That’s the spirit” said Paul, threading the rope around Ben handcuffs and looping it back through the iron ring. Alison beamed.
ZeldaQueen: I'm glad to see the little nymphet is so entertained by this sort of thing. Clearly, she worked out her kinks of choice early in life
Paul jumped off the chair, moved it aside, and started pulling on the rope until Ben’s arms were raised high above his head. Once Ben was pulled high enough that he was forced onto the balls of his feet, Paul tied the rope off.
Raxis: I doubt Neil realizes this, but that would get painful very fast. That kind of thing could fuck up your wrists.
ZeldaQueen: I'm sure there are a great many things Neil failed to realize for this section
“I’ll be adjudicating” said Paul moving round to Ben’s front “Ladies?” he said.
Victoria and Emily rose from their chairs, and paced slowly over toward Ben like panthers. Paul sat in the chair that Victoria had just vacated and once he was settled he spoke again “My role is simply to confirm if you’ve given away the secret or not.”
Raxis: 'Cause the girls are going to lie and say he did.
ZeldaQueen: No, because Neil wants to limit it to the girls being the ones to paw Benedict. Maximizes his pleasure, you know?
“How long does the test last?” asked Ben, expecting the first slap any second.
“That’s a secret” said Paul “If we told you that it would make it much easier for you. This way you won’t know if you’ve only got to hold out another five seconds, or another five hours.”
Raxis: That would get boring very fast.
ZeldaQueen: (Paul) "It depends on how long Neil wants to wank!"
“Hours?” exclaimed Ben.
“Well, no, not hours” said Paul.
Raxis: (Paul): "Sometimes we go for days!"
ZeldaQueen: Which is how long it feels like this sporking has been going on for. Let's take a break before the plunge, ladies and gents!
Onward to: Chapter 4 - The Test (Part 2)
Back to: Chapter 3 - Second Thoughts
Return to: Table of Contents 4