Things not to do=keeping ex's as friends
Well I met one of Spencer's ex-girlfriends yesterday. They were friends way before dating that's why they were still friends.
I say were because it didn't quite workout meeting her....
Now on my personal level I think that ex's can't really be friends especially not when there's a new one involved. But Spencer thought we would hit it off well 'cause he said we're very similar personality-wise. (And she already has a new boyfriend and Spencer swears to me that she doesn't want him back or anything like that.)
So after I got all the nerves and stuff worked out. We picked her up (her car is broken) and went back to our place to watch a movie. It was a little sketchy for me 'cause sometimes she would occasionally say things like, "remember when we were dating, blah blah." It made me twitch a little on the inside but I tried not to let it bother me at all. And I was positively pleasant and everything throughout the whole thing and didn't let it get to me.
But, something wasn't right...besides the fact that she would take about how they used to date out of nowhere, she also said a couple a things I found annoying, like "You made my boyfriend so happy, Amy! He was scared that Spencer and I would be alone together but once I told him you were here he was very relieved. Hahaha. It's funny 'cause he said that he trusted me he just doesn't trust you (pointing to Spencer)." [not verbatum mind you]
Just little things like that. So from that point, I knew I wouldn't really be friends with her but I could at least try to put up with her if Spencer really wanted to be friends with her.
However, she did something that I couldn't handle. While we were driving her back to her dorm, Spencer turned on "our song." It's an Avenged Sevenfold song that I picked out for us 'cause it always reminded me of him (it was a song he played for me on our second date that stuck with me).
So Spencer said to her, "This is our song." It played. She listened. It ended. Spencer asked if she got the general story of it. She said "yeah." I said "Well maybe we should get a second song. You know because of all the killing and stuff in it." Spencer says, "So?" Then she said to Spencer, "I liked the song you picked for me better."
Is it just me or was that a very sly bitch response? I mean Spencer already indicated to her before-hand that I got jealous and protective a lot so she should have known better to not say something like that.
But never-the-less, I stayed perfectly calm asked Spencer, "what?", he just replies with a "I dunno." And she just tells me where to drive to drop her off.
She said glad to meet you. I said glad to meet you too. I got in the car and drove off. And I got upset on the way home. Spencer agreed that wasn't appropriate. But he thought I was overreacting. I explained to him the reason I got that upset was because he didn't say anything, didn't protect our song, or even indicate to her that he didn't actually pick out a song for her (as he said later that he didn't). So that's what really set me off.
Spencer said that he's not going to be friends with her anymore. Which I am glad about but disappointed as well 'cause I really wanted it to work out too. I don't want to take him away from his friends but I don't know if I can stand his ex's if all they do is talk about when they were dating and insult things that are between Spencer and I now. Sigh. Spencer was very disappointed as well. He said that she did something like this when he brought her to meet his best friends too. So something is very off about her. Spencer said she can't help it. But I have a nagging feeling she can...and she was just trying to make me jealous because she didn't want to see him with someone else. (I know how girls work, especially if they're similar to my personality...)
Anyway, so that sucked. But I love him for agreeing with me and telling me I did a good job at trying hard to like her. He said he's not mad at me at all. He's just disappointed in her. He was afraid something like that would happen so...
But hope the next girl he's friends with will work out better because the first two have not made it easier on me to not become extremely cautious about him around girls...
The first one tried to become more than friends with him and even tried to kiss him! And now this girl insulted my song with Spencer and tried to indicate "theirs" was better.
Not a good start with this. I hope I can get over these the next time around. Sigh.
I say were because it didn't quite workout meeting her....
Now on my personal level I think that ex's can't really be friends especially not when there's a new one involved. But Spencer thought we would hit it off well 'cause he said we're very similar personality-wise. (And she already has a new boyfriend and Spencer swears to me that she doesn't want him back or anything like that.)
So after I got all the nerves and stuff worked out. We picked her up (her car is broken) and went back to our place to watch a movie. It was a little sketchy for me 'cause sometimes she would occasionally say things like, "remember when we were dating, blah blah." It made me twitch a little on the inside but I tried not to let it bother me at all. And I was positively pleasant and everything throughout the whole thing and didn't let it get to me.
But, something wasn't right...besides the fact that she would take about how they used to date out of nowhere, she also said a couple a things I found annoying, like "You made my boyfriend so happy, Amy! He was scared that Spencer and I would be alone together but once I told him you were here he was very relieved. Hahaha. It's funny 'cause he said that he trusted me he just doesn't trust you (pointing to Spencer)." [not verbatum mind you]
Just little things like that. So from that point, I knew I wouldn't really be friends with her but I could at least try to put up with her if Spencer really wanted to be friends with her.
However, she did something that I couldn't handle. While we were driving her back to her dorm, Spencer turned on "our song." It's an Avenged Sevenfold song that I picked out for us 'cause it always reminded me of him (it was a song he played for me on our second date that stuck with me).
So Spencer said to her, "This is our song." It played. She listened. It ended. Spencer asked if she got the general story of it. She said "yeah." I said "Well maybe we should get a second song. You know because of all the killing and stuff in it." Spencer says, "So?" Then she said to Spencer, "I liked the song you picked for me better."
Is it just me or was that a very sly bitch response? I mean Spencer already indicated to her before-hand that I got jealous and protective a lot so she should have known better to not say something like that.
But never-the-less, I stayed perfectly calm asked Spencer, "what?", he just replies with a "I dunno." And she just tells me where to drive to drop her off.
She said glad to meet you. I said glad to meet you too. I got in the car and drove off. And I got upset on the way home. Spencer agreed that wasn't appropriate. But he thought I was overreacting. I explained to him the reason I got that upset was because he didn't say anything, didn't protect our song, or even indicate to her that he didn't actually pick out a song for her (as he said later that he didn't). So that's what really set me off.
Spencer said that he's not going to be friends with her anymore. Which I am glad about but disappointed as well 'cause I really wanted it to work out too. I don't want to take him away from his friends but I don't know if I can stand his ex's if all they do is talk about when they were dating and insult things that are between Spencer and I now. Sigh. Spencer was very disappointed as well. He said that she did something like this when he brought her to meet his best friends too. So something is very off about her. Spencer said she can't help it. But I have a nagging feeling she can...and she was just trying to make me jealous because she didn't want to see him with someone else. (I know how girls work, especially if they're similar to my personality...)
Anyway, so that sucked. But I love him for agreeing with me and telling me I did a good job at trying hard to like her. He said he's not mad at me at all. He's just disappointed in her. He was afraid something like that would happen so...
But hope the next girl he's friends with will work out better because the first two have not made it easier on me to not become extremely cautious about him around girls...
The first one tried to become more than friends with him and even tried to kiss him! And now this girl insulted my song with Spencer and tried to indicate "theirs" was better.
Not a good start with this. I hope I can get over these the next time around. Sigh.