~If I knew you once, now I know you less
Woop I should've made this entry last night but I was so tired and needed to get to sleep to make potatos because WHY DID I STAY UP SO LATE
(the potatos came out well in spite of lack of sleep though, haha)
Anyway, drew something!
This image suddenly popped in my head while I was listening to Go Long in the car for the lines
May he master everything
that such men may know
about loving, and then letting go.
You kind of have to hear the song to hear it in your head, haha. It's the last stanza! Well technically there are a few lines leading into it (There's a man/who only will speak in code/backing slowly, slowly down the road) and I waffled a bit about keeping that part in since it does technically set up the final lines but it wasn't as connected to the mental image as those three lines were, so eh. There are actually a few more lines in the song that could work for the two of them, in particular
Wolf-spider, crouch in your funnel nest,
If I knew you, once,
now I know you less,
In the sinking sand,
where we've come to rest,
have I had a hand in your loneliness?
If I get a clear image I may do a companion thing for this to these lines, who knows. I AM ADDICTED TO GO LONG AGH
ANYWAY unlike usual, this time this has very thin, solid inking, which has a cleaner look to it but is a pain. I did it in Sai which was also kind of a pain but I didn't feel like swapping to Mangastudio out of laziness, it might have been easier but eh. I did a bit of line weight in places for it, but too much I think sort of didn't fit the feel of it, so I went easy on it.
I had a heck of a time getting the pose I wanted down, particularly the hands, but then also when I had the head in place, I couldn't get the eyes to look right. Eventually I tried something a little different to get the right shape and placement and as such Matt's eyes here look different to me than how I'd normally do them, but I actually like the look. I'll have to remember this in the future.
It's sort of weird to have an image in your head, but not actually have a complete image? This is something artists I think get but I'm not sure how easy it is to explain if you don't do art, but it's like, I can see an idea in my head, sort of the loose shapes of it, but then pinning that down sometimes in terms of actual lines or colors on a page can be so hard for something that seems so clear. In your head it's perfect, but for some reason it's hard to translate that out into "the shading should be this color, the lighting should be here, the hands here", if that makes sense? It's a frustrating part about being an artist, haha. It was rough blocking it all out but once past that part it came together.
I also did something a little different here with the shading, I did it all on one layer with a very dark high contrast color, then later changed the tones as I needed to for various places and brought down the transparency to soften it a bit to where it is now. For curiousity's sake, here's the shading layer at full opacity.
It looks kinda cool I think. :o But in the end I went with a softer shade.
Anyway, in terms of actual things, this is the Matt from the fic as you've probably gathered since he keeps haunting me. Basically I pictured this as "real" Matt (if he survived after all, it's unclear if he did) realizing what it is he's actually done after he had Juan killed. HE'S DEAD AND HE'S NEVER COMING BACK, IT'S TOO LATE MATT
THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO the permanence of death is such a terrible thing
I do think Matt didn't really think through what it meant for him to have Juan murdered but I'm hugely biased so pay me no mind. No one in 2-4 ever thought anything through, I swear.
I also posted this at dreamwidth with reluctant ambivalence. Comment here or there, don't matter to me!
(the potatos came out well in spite of lack of sleep though, haha)
Anyway, drew something!
This image suddenly popped in my head while I was listening to Go Long in the car for the lines
May he master everything
that such men may know
about loving, and then letting go.
You kind of have to hear the song to hear it in your head, haha. It's the last stanza! Well technically there are a few lines leading into it (There's a man/who only will speak in code/backing slowly, slowly down the road) and I waffled a bit about keeping that part in since it does technically set up the final lines but it wasn't as connected to the mental image as those three lines were, so eh. There are actually a few more lines in the song that could work for the two of them, in particular
Wolf-spider, crouch in your funnel nest,
If I knew you, once,
now I know you less,
In the sinking sand,
where we've come to rest,
have I had a hand in your loneliness?
If I get a clear image I may do a companion thing for this to these lines, who knows. I AM ADDICTED TO GO LONG AGH
ANYWAY unlike usual, this time this has very thin, solid inking, which has a cleaner look to it but is a pain. I did it in Sai which was also kind of a pain but I didn't feel like swapping to Mangastudio out of laziness, it might have been easier but eh. I did a bit of line weight in places for it, but too much I think sort of didn't fit the feel of it, so I went easy on it.
I had a heck of a time getting the pose I wanted down, particularly the hands, but then also when I had the head in place, I couldn't get the eyes to look right. Eventually I tried something a little different to get the right shape and placement and as such Matt's eyes here look different to me than how I'd normally do them, but I actually like the look. I'll have to remember this in the future.
It's sort of weird to have an image in your head, but not actually have a complete image? This is something artists I think get but I'm not sure how easy it is to explain if you don't do art, but it's like, I can see an idea in my head, sort of the loose shapes of it, but then pinning that down sometimes in terms of actual lines or colors on a page can be so hard for something that seems so clear. In your head it's perfect, but for some reason it's hard to translate that out into "the shading should be this color, the lighting should be here, the hands here", if that makes sense? It's a frustrating part about being an artist, haha. It was rough blocking it all out but once past that part it came together.
I also did something a little different here with the shading, I did it all on one layer with a very dark high contrast color, then later changed the tones as I needed to for various places and brought down the transparency to soften it a bit to where it is now. For curiousity's sake, here's the shading layer at full opacity.
It looks kinda cool I think. :o But in the end I went with a softer shade.
Anyway, in terms of actual things, this is the Matt from the fic as you've probably gathered since he keeps haunting me. Basically I pictured this as "real" Matt (if he survived after all, it's unclear if he did) realizing what it is he's actually done after he had Juan killed. HE'S DEAD AND HE'S NEVER COMING BACK, IT'S TOO LATE MATT
THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO the permanence of death is such a terrible thing
I do think Matt didn't really think through what it meant for him to have Juan murdered but I'm hugely biased so pay me no mind. No one in 2-4 ever thought anything through, I swear.
I also posted this at dreamwidth with reluctant ambivalence. Comment here or there, don't matter to me!