~Calling all zombies!
Today I realized that everything I've been doing with the ladyzombies is wrong wrong WRONG! It's the same soulless garbage that every studio is picking up these days! So I've decided to rework the WHOLE idea into something that's ACTUALLY true to what cartoons fancharacters SHOULD be!
First of all, meet our new hero!
Griffin is a real man's man, someone who isn't afraid to tell it like it is! He used to push pencils at some boring company, even though it was killing his soul (as working at any corporation will do to you eventually!). But now the zombie apocalypse has finally let him be himself! No one cares if you're PC to zombies! Well, I bet some of those suits in charge of the major networks would still care, but they're the ones who are killing the industry anyway.
Griffin isn't like those sissy characters you see around nowadays - he likes meat, violence, and women! Sometimes at the same time! He's also a republican, like all real Americans. He punches zombies and takes names! This is the kind of hero that kids had in the 50s, and it's one we need today because everything old is better than what's out today. EVERYTHING.
The story would revolve around Griffin of course, but we'll need more characters than that!
This annoying guy is always cramping Griffin's style! Mostly because women love him, even though he looks like a girl. It goes against the natural order of things in Griffin's mind! But that's the state of the world today. No one cares about real manliness anymore. But hey, there are many funny homosexuals in entertainment, as long as they live up to their stereotype.
Psychopro tends to appear whenever the girls are in danger and dashingly rescue them! Which happens a lot. But maybe being with Griffin will help toughen him up and be less of a sissy? You'll have to stay tuned to find out!
But some of you are probably asking, "Where are the girls?". I wouldn't leave you disappointed! I know what people really come to these things for. And god knows I feel really passionate about portraying girls realistically and telling sensitive and nuanced stories with them.
Hunter is our leading lady, and she's a girl who likes being tough and active, but isn't afraid to be sexy too. Don't worry you guys, I know what you want and I'm not stingy about giving it to you whereas stupid evil conservative modern Americans refuse to give humans natural things that humans like.1 I hope your eyes have been opened by her incredibly unique character design!
Hunter and Griffin have a lot of tension between them, because even though he can sometimes be a jerk to her, she's attracted to him anyway. It's impossible to resist a real man, especially now that things are so PC so she's forgotten how attractive they are. But she doesn't know how to handle her feelings for him, so they tend to fight a lot. But Griffin will always save her from a jam anyway, even though she is a silly emotional girl and he's much older than her but really it's not creepy, girls love older men..
Hunter has some friends of her own too! Let's see them. Maybe they can have a pajama party and trade pajamas! What more do I need to say.
Jockey's a silly goofy girl who just wants to have fun. Even though normally she'd like Psychopro, somehow she finds herself attracted to Griffin too! This doesn't sit well with Hunter, who wants him all to herself. These kind of love triangles are big with audiences today, aren't they? I'll never understand modern entertainment, but that's what you got to do to get anywhere nowadays. People are afraid of REAL creativity.
Jockey's too stupid to really know how to seduce someone though, or really do anything right! She's sort of a hopeless case, and people are always rescuing her. Even though her and Hunter fight about Griffin, they're still friends and talk about girl stuff and things like that. But don't worry, it won't get too sissified, since this isn't meant for girls.
This is Smoker. She's an old hag who likes nagging people whenever they start having too much fun, which is all the time. She's a feminazi dyke who just can't stand anyone who tries to be sexy, like Hunter. She just wants women to be fully dressed and spayed all the time because she's just so jealous of them and how much people like looking at them. She hates Griffin of course, because he isn't afraid to like sexy girls, like every sensible person. But secretly she's attracted to him too, since he's so manly. But he won't go out with her! This just makes her hate him more.
Her and Hunter don't really get along very well, and they fight all the time. Sometimes she's tries to woo Hunter, but Hunter's definitely not into it. "Yuck, no!"
I mean, would you be?
Charger's maybe the meanest and ugliest of them all. Sometimes it's hard to tell whether she's a person or a zombie! Like Smoker, she doesn't like anyone having fun, and especially doesn't like Hunter or Jockey. She's always interrupting them whenever they start flirting with Griffin, which drives them crazy! She just doesn't want anyone to be happy. She never listens to Griffin's advice, which usually gets her into trouble. Most of the time she has to be saved by Griffin or Psychopro, but she never thanks them for it. But they do it anyway, cause they're men and they've got to protect their women.
She's constantly coming up with bad ideas, but at least no one really listens to her. Her and Smoker complain a lot about how sexy girls are bad and offensive. But don't worry, I won't stop drawing them! Even if it does get hard sometimes, I just love doing it. And I'm always fighting for you, the audience! I'll keep fighting to bring you deep characters with meaningful interactions and clear personalities.
1 - Violence seems to be just fine in today’s culture but some folks freak out at good, old, all-American lust. What is so damned horrible about well formed perky titties? Mike Fontanelli’s theory is that every movie should have a couple good, naked girl scenes. Then if you hate the story or it has bad acting, at least you can say “well I gotta a couple good titties for my 10 bucks.” Not that I plan to make bad stories just so I can have titties, but I don’t plan on skimping on cheesecake.
What do you guys think! Feel free to tell me! But don't disagree with any of this because I am cartoon Jesus and nobody is as good at cartoon acting as me.
APRIL FOOLS although I assume you may have gathered that at this point. This is a sendup of John K's blog, which I don't care for for many reasons as you may guess. jazaaboo helped me gather many of these links though, and also provided the John K-ized Jockey and Charger. I did the other ones myself, haha.
I know this is kind of long, but John K tends to post long entries full of images and I usually keep the reveal behind a cut, SO I AM IN A BIT OF A BIND. I'll cut more of it tomorrow or something.
It amuses me that the easiest one to do by far was Hunter. For all his talk about how no one draws sexy girls, it was incredibly easy to draw Hunter in that style.
I was originally going to have a line in here about a VERY REAL THING that John K said about how the Japanese are a cold race but in the end I thought it was kind of inappropriate. But he did say it. Although it's hardly the only offensive thing he's said if the above links aren't enough.
Edit - christ i should have gone through this tag sooner, wow
First of all, meet our new hero!
Griffin is a real man's man, someone who isn't afraid to tell it like it is! He used to push pencils at some boring company, even though it was killing his soul (as working at any corporation will do to you eventually!). But now the zombie apocalypse has finally let him be himself! No one cares if you're PC to zombies! Well, I bet some of those suits in charge of the major networks would still care, but they're the ones who are killing the industry anyway.
Griffin isn't like those sissy characters you see around nowadays - he likes meat, violence, and women! Sometimes at the same time! He's also a republican, like all real Americans. He punches zombies and takes names! This is the kind of hero that kids had in the 50s, and it's one we need today because everything old is better than what's out today. EVERYTHING.
The story would revolve around Griffin of course, but we'll need more characters than that!
This annoying guy is always cramping Griffin's style! Mostly because women love him, even though he looks like a girl. It goes against the natural order of things in Griffin's mind! But that's the state of the world today. No one cares about real manliness anymore. But hey, there are many funny homosexuals in entertainment, as long as they live up to their stereotype.
Psychopro tends to appear whenever the girls are in danger and dashingly rescue them! Which happens a lot. But maybe being with Griffin will help toughen him up and be less of a sissy? You'll have to stay tuned to find out!
But some of you are probably asking, "Where are the girls?". I wouldn't leave you disappointed! I know what people really come to these things for. And god knows I feel really passionate about portraying girls realistically and telling sensitive and nuanced stories with them.
Hunter is our leading lady, and she's a girl who likes being tough and active, but isn't afraid to be sexy too. Don't worry you guys, I know what you want and I'm not stingy about giving it to you whereas stupid evil conservative modern Americans refuse to give humans natural things that humans like.1 I hope your eyes have been opened by her incredibly unique character design!
Hunter and Griffin have a lot of tension between them, because even though he can sometimes be a jerk to her, she's attracted to him anyway. It's impossible to resist a real man, especially now that things are so PC so she's forgotten how attractive they are. But she doesn't know how to handle her feelings for him, so they tend to fight a lot. But Griffin will always save her from a jam anyway, even though she is a silly emotional girl and he's much older than her but really it's not creepy, girls love older men..
Hunter has some friends of her own too! Let's see them. Maybe they can have a pajama party and trade pajamas! What more do I need to say.
Jockey's a silly goofy girl who just wants to have fun. Even though normally she'd like Psychopro, somehow she finds herself attracted to Griffin too! This doesn't sit well with Hunter, who wants him all to herself. These kind of love triangles are big with audiences today, aren't they? I'll never understand modern entertainment, but that's what you got to do to get anywhere nowadays. People are afraid of REAL creativity.
Jockey's too stupid to really know how to seduce someone though, or really do anything right! She's sort of a hopeless case, and people are always rescuing her. Even though her and Hunter fight about Griffin, they're still friends and talk about girl stuff and things like that. But don't worry, it won't get too sissified, since this isn't meant for girls.
This is Smoker. She's an old hag who likes nagging people whenever they start having too much fun, which is all the time. She's a feminazi dyke who just can't stand anyone who tries to be sexy, like Hunter. She just wants women to be fully dressed and spayed all the time because she's just so jealous of them and how much people like looking at them. She hates Griffin of course, because he isn't afraid to like sexy girls, like every sensible person. But secretly she's attracted to him too, since he's so manly. But he won't go out with her! This just makes her hate him more.
Her and Hunter don't really get along very well, and they fight all the time. Sometimes she's tries to woo Hunter, but Hunter's definitely not into it. "Yuck, no!"
I mean, would you be?
Charger's maybe the meanest and ugliest of them all. Sometimes it's hard to tell whether she's a person or a zombie! Like Smoker, she doesn't like anyone having fun, and especially doesn't like Hunter or Jockey. She's always interrupting them whenever they start flirting with Griffin, which drives them crazy! She just doesn't want anyone to be happy. She never listens to Griffin's advice, which usually gets her into trouble. Most of the time she has to be saved by Griffin or Psychopro, but she never thanks them for it. But they do it anyway, cause they're men and they've got to protect their women.
She's constantly coming up with bad ideas, but at least no one really listens to her. Her and Smoker complain a lot about how sexy girls are bad and offensive. But don't worry, I won't stop drawing them! Even if it does get hard sometimes, I just love doing it. And I'm always fighting for you, the audience! I'll keep fighting to bring you deep characters with meaningful interactions and clear personalities.
1 - Violence seems to be just fine in today’s culture but some folks freak out at good, old, all-American lust. What is so damned horrible about well formed perky titties? Mike Fontanelli’s theory is that every movie should have a couple good, naked girl scenes. Then if you hate the story or it has bad acting, at least you can say “well I gotta a couple good titties for my 10 bucks.” Not that I plan to make bad stories just so I can have titties, but I don’t plan on skimping on cheesecake.
What do you guys think! Feel free to tell me! But don't disagree with any of this because I am cartoon Jesus and nobody is as good at cartoon acting as me.
APRIL FOOLS although I assume you may have gathered that at this point. This is a sendup of John K's blog, which I don't care for for many reasons as you may guess. jazaaboo helped me gather many of these links though, and also provided the John K-ized Jockey and Charger. I did the other ones myself, haha.
I know this is kind of long, but John K tends to post long entries full of images and I usually keep the reveal behind a cut, SO I AM IN A BIT OF A BIND. I'll cut more of it tomorrow or something.
It amuses me that the easiest one to do by far was Hunter. For all his talk about how no one draws sexy girls, it was incredibly easy to draw Hunter in that style.
I was originally going to have a line in here about a VERY REAL THING that John K said about how the Japanese are a cold race but in the end I thought it was kind of inappropriate. But he did say it. Although it's hardly the only offensive thing he's said if the above links aren't enough.
Edit - christ i should have gone through this tag sooner, wow