The Spookiness Continues!
So, here I am again, without a real computer, but still I have the will to post some more "lessons" from horror movies, stuff probably (but hopefully not) useful in every day life.
High Tension
Lesson I: You're friends aren't always really you're friends.
Lesson II: Barbed wire hurts like the dickens. So do large saws.
Lesson III: If you're being chased about by a crazed killer, look in the mirror. You might be surpised what you find.
Saw
Lesson I: Don't count on Danny Glover to save you. He may have taken down the Predator, but he was still second fiddle to Mel Gibson.
Lesson II: If it looks dead, shoot it in the head. (That rhymes, so it should be easy to remember)
Lesson III: Don't trust people with brain tumors. They're up to no good.
Mindhunters
Lesson I: Always as the kid why he killed his parents.
Lesson II: L.L. Cool J is quite adept at survival. Make friends with him, and stay near when bad stuff goes down.
Lesson III: If someone's using elaborate traps to kill your friends based on their psycholocgial profiles, it's probably someone that knows you all pretty well, like Christian Slater or Val Kilmer or something.
Joyride
Lesson I: Leelee Sobieski is cute, and could probably kick my ass.
Lesson II: Don't tease the truckers. Their smart, stealthy, and nigh-unkillable.
Lesson III: Steve Zahn might mean well, but he's dangerous to have as a friend and/or brother. Plus, he might steal your girl.
Resident Evil: Apocolypse
Lesson I: My favorite characters always die, usually in completely badass and awesome ways (like fighting multiple zombie dogs).
Lesson II: If zombies have overrun a city, the only obvious solution is to nuke it.
Lesson III: Don't trust corporations. They just want to turn us into mindless zombies of one sort or another.
Cemetary Man
Lesson I: If you decide to take up gravekeeping, a revolver is a very good thing to have.
Lesson II: Freakish dwarves deserve love just as much as you or I, even if it's just a little head.
Lesson III: Sometimes, we can't escape our destiny, no matter how fast we drive.
The Return of the Living Dead
Lesson I: Dancing naked on top of tombstones may seem like a good idea at the time, but you'll probably just get eaten by a lecherous old man.
Lesson II: If you find yourself with several trash bags full of "rabid weasels" (which may or may not be dismembered zombie parts), try to avoid burning them, as it may have unintended consequences.
Lesson III: Eating brains makes the pain of living go away!