It's October! Spooky...
Being that this is a particularly spooky month (the sky turns grey, the birds migrate sputh for the winter, chainsaws go on sale), I've decided to pass on things I've learned from a few horror movies I've seen lately (or have somehow been reminded of for some reason or another). Perhaps others can learn from this...? Anyways, I figure three lessons per movie should be sufficent, so I'll have at it!
Ginger Snaps: Unleashed
Lesson I: Short girls are evil, lying psychopaths (I already knew this, the movie just verified it).
Lesson II: Drugs, especially wolfsbane, are really only a temporary solution.
Lesson III: Either give in, or give up. It only dies if you do.
Carnival of Souls
Lesson I: Don't drive over any bridges.
Lesson II: Stay away from any abandoned amusement parks.
Lesson III: Don't play the organ.
The Descent
Lesson I: Spelunking is neither fun nor safe.
Lesson II: Don't go off the map.
Lesson III: Whatever you think you saw, it's probably really there.
Jaws
Lesson I: Don't go in the water.
Lesson II: Stay out of the water.
Lesson III: Just stay the *bleep* away from any large bodies of water, okay?
Virus
Lesson I: That ship is probably abandoned for a reason.
Lesson II: Don't stick your head in any crawl spaces.
Lesson III: The more ridiculous your escape/monster destruction plan is, the more likely it is to work.
The Toolbox Murders
Lesson I: Angela Bettis is cute in an offbeat sort of way.
Lesson II: A cute girl does not a good movie make (it can help, but...).
Lesson III: Wouldn't it have been better if Angela Bettis was the killer?
The Evil Dead
Lesson I: Bruce Campbell awesome-ness has only increased with age.
Lesson II: Don't go off in the woods alone. You're just asking for trouble. Plus, trees are not your friends.
Lesson III: Don't play the tape recorder the former occupant left. You don't know what's on there, and it's probably better not to find out at all.
Ginger Snaps: Unleashed
Lesson I: Short girls are evil, lying psychopaths (I already knew this, the movie just verified it).
Lesson II: Drugs, especially wolfsbane, are really only a temporary solution.
Lesson III: Either give in, or give up. It only dies if you do.
Carnival of Souls
Lesson I: Don't drive over any bridges.
Lesson II: Stay away from any abandoned amusement parks.
Lesson III: Don't play the organ.
The Descent
Lesson I: Spelunking is neither fun nor safe.
Lesson II: Don't go off the map.
Lesson III: Whatever you think you saw, it's probably really there.
Jaws
Lesson I: Don't go in the water.
Lesson II: Stay out of the water.
Lesson III: Just stay the *bleep* away from any large bodies of water, okay?
Virus
Lesson I: That ship is probably abandoned for a reason.
Lesson II: Don't stick your head in any crawl spaces.
Lesson III: The more ridiculous your escape/monster destruction plan is, the more likely it is to work.
The Toolbox Murders
Lesson I: Angela Bettis is cute in an offbeat sort of way.
Lesson II: A cute girl does not a good movie make (it can help, but...).
Lesson III: Wouldn't it have been better if Angela Bettis was the killer?
The Evil Dead
Lesson I: Bruce Campbell awesome-ness has only increased with age.
Lesson II: Don't go off in the woods alone. You're just asking for trouble. Plus, trees are not your friends.
Lesson III: Don't play the tape recorder the former occupant left. You don't know what's on there, and it's probably better not to find out at all.