Done...
Well. Last night was the viewing, and today was the funeral. All done with, finally. I think my mom would've been well satisfied with how it went; there were a lot of people there at both events and the flowers were really beautiful. I asked that there be yellow roses in my mom's casket-flowers, and at the end of the funeral each of us four children stepped up to the casket and drew out a single rose to keep. I have mine, a full golden rose; it's beautiful and I'll press it in a book.
I guess, as funerals and all go, it was well done. But dear gods, I'm glad it's over. We still have the reading of the will and so forth; I know a bit about some of the bequests, and I have some plans. But right now I'm just grateful that it went well and that she's been laid to rest as she would have wanted.
Tired. We went back to my older sister's place after the funeral and ate a late lunch; everybody was oddly cheerful, hungry and very determined to avoid anything tear-inducing. Not a bad determination, actually, since there were plenty shed during the funeral-- I cried a lot, mostly because I kept remembering silly little things about Mama that she'd done over the years like the time she chased me around the front yard with a water-hose or how much she enjoyed gardening. We went through a box of old photos-- everybody's, not just hers, all mixed together-- and dear gods, I saw a few of myself that I'd forgotten existed. Little Grade-School Ysabet was kinda cute, actually, but Junior High Ysabet... not so much. And aargh, pics of my ex were mixed in there, and a few embarrassing shots of me in skimpy bellydancing outfits and a really minimal dryad costume from Worldcon in '86-- pretty much a few scraps of green fabric, a skin-colored teddy and much body-paint. I saw shots of my parents and siblings I'd never seen before; that was nice.
So. Tuesday I fly home, and I'll be ready to go. This has been a sad, strange trip with moments of happiness in it; it's almost over, and eventually I guess everything will settle in place in my head. But I think it'll be a while.
I guess, as funerals and all go, it was well done. But dear gods, I'm glad it's over. We still have the reading of the will and so forth; I know a bit about some of the bequests, and I have some plans. But right now I'm just grateful that it went well and that she's been laid to rest as she would have wanted.
Tired. We went back to my older sister's place after the funeral and ate a late lunch; everybody was oddly cheerful, hungry and very determined to avoid anything tear-inducing. Not a bad determination, actually, since there were plenty shed during the funeral-- I cried a lot, mostly because I kept remembering silly little things about Mama that she'd done over the years like the time she chased me around the front yard with a water-hose or how much she enjoyed gardening. We went through a box of old photos-- everybody's, not just hers, all mixed together-- and dear gods, I saw a few of myself that I'd forgotten existed. Little Grade-School Ysabet was kinda cute, actually, but Junior High Ysabet... not so much. And aargh, pics of my ex were mixed in there, and a few embarrassing shots of me in skimpy bellydancing outfits and a really minimal dryad costume from Worldcon in '86-- pretty much a few scraps of green fabric, a skin-colored teddy and much body-paint. I saw shots of my parents and siblings I'd never seen before; that was nice.
So. Tuesday I fly home, and I'll be ready to go. This has been a sad, strange trip with moments of happiness in it; it's almost over, and eventually I guess everything will settle in place in my head. But I think it'll be a while.