(no subject)
Going to the viewing at the funeral home tonight; am so not looking forward to it (I've always considered it a rather barbaric custom) but it's a family duty and it's only two hours long. I'll deal. It's funny; I've bought more black clothes in the last couple of days than I ever have in one stretch before. Am refusing to wear a dress to either viewing or funeral, I don't look good in 'em so... Instead I have dress pants and a black sweater-blouse tonight with white polkadots on it, and velvety slacks with a long silky tunic with a draped neckline (drapes hide many sins) and fringed shawl for the funeral. I'll look good and be respectable, and besides, I'm honoring my mom's memory and not trying to put on a fashion show.
We have the preacher from Hospice handling her funeral; seems to be a nice guy, no doom-and-hellfire or repent!sinners! for my mom, thanks very much. My older brother and I stopped by the cemetary yesterday-- he had some friends who ran a landscaping business and they'd offered to clean up the family plot as a gift, and it was very neat and tidy. But they'd already dug Mama's grave, and that was... I don't have words for how strange that felt, seeing that.
We also went out to the beach for a bit, to calm down by looking at lots of ocean and wildlife; I spotted four blue herons and an absolute ton of snowy egrets, plus some redwinged blackbirds and one honkin' huge turtle. The water was full of whitecaps and was bluer than blue.
**sigh** Right. Viewing in four hours. Headdesk, headdesk, HEADDESK.
Shouldn't sound so cranky, I guess; it's quite literally a way for people to pay their respects and I know that. But gods, I'll be glad when this is over. Very tired. Mama'd be bored to freaking tears.
Okay, am stopping with the venting now.