Letter from Dad
Today, I got a forwarded email from my Dad that he had to sent to my half-brother Greg. A little background...
Greg is still holding a lot against my Dad. Dad divorced Greg's mom, later married someone 11 years younger, and then Greg's mother passed away from cancer. So, Greg has held all of this against Dad for close to 25 years. The only time we have really seen him recently is when Winnie, my grandmother, passed away back in 1997. I know that it is hard to forgive someone for "abandoning" your mother, but come on. Don't lose what little family you DO have. Dad's other son, Geoff, has forgiven Dad and moved on. He is pretty close to our family. Greg is the only one that hates everyone. He is getting married in January and just told Dad about his daughter, Kaleigh, a year or so ago...she is 7 now. I know, my family belongs on "Passions." All we need is a midget, a witch, and for my brother and sister to sleep together while developing a tiny cluster of tumors. Anyway, that is some background. Alot of background.
So, Dad is trying to get Greg to talk to him. He has sent countless emails with no replies, and he just sent him another one today. I posted it below. I wanted everyone to read it because it just shows how unconditional a father's love is AND how frickin' hysterical my Dad is. Good one, Daddy....
To: Greg
From: Dad
Howzit goin son? I still have not heard back from you. My e-mails to you are not bouncing back, so I assume that they are getting through to you.
Well, your brother, Grant, and his "fiancie" have set a date. They are getting married on March 11th at Bellevue Baptist Church. They are probably going to Paris for their honeymoon. We have some friends who own two apartments in Paris. One is for visiting family and friends. They also have a bed & breakfast in the French countryside, outside Paris. He and Angela can stay FREE. All they have to do is come up with the roundtrip airfare and some spending money.
How about you and your fiancie? By the way, what is her name? Geoff said you are getting married in January in Orlando. What date and where? Are you going to allow me to come? Winnie and I crashed Geoff's wedding, but I don't think she will be able to come to yours.
Geoff and I would still like to come down for a long weekend visit to Orlando, to see you and Kaleigh and to meet your intended. What did you say her name is? How bout e-mailing me some pictures of all three of you and telling me about her, starting with her name.
I promise that we will both be on our best behavier...well, at least near best. We won't burp or fart in front of her. I won't scratch anything below my waist. I don't think Geoff will either. ..I don''t think. We won't use any words beginning with "F" unless we are talking about fries, fish or freckles. We won't pee or dribble on the floor and we will put the seat and lid down after every visit to the bathroom.
Both your younger brothers and your sister are back at school now. Grant is a senior at Mississippi College in Clinton, MS, Drew is a senior at Western Kentucky University in Bowling Green, KY, and Amanda is a sophomore at Mississippi College. Grant and Angela will both graduate in May. Even though Drew is a senior too, he will not graduate until May of 2007, because he changed his major and changed colleges.
Grant will start Seminary in the fall of 2006. It will take him three years to get through that. Angela will work in an interior design firm. Mid-America Baptist Theological Seminary is building a new campus right across the street from Bellevue, including student housing. It will all be finished by the time Grant is ready to enter.
What does your fiancie do? Is she a nurse, a sales person, a teacher, a veterinarian, an exotic dancer, a lion tamer, or what? Is she a Christian? Is she going to make sure you go to church every Sunday? Has she ever been married before? Does she have children? Is she a white girl? Does she have any tattoos or a wooden leg?
You know, my daddy had a girlfriend once who had a wooden leg. He used to strike his matches on her knee. He had to stop seeing her, because the knob on the gearshift on his Model A was made of wood. He kept getting the gearshift knob and her knee mixed up. He said after three wrecks, breaking up with her was obviously the best thing to do.
Does she know anything about me and your younger brothers and sister? Does she think I am a bad person? If she asks, tell her that I am a Christian, I teach senior high boys in Sunday school, I go on mission trips with the youth to Central and South America, I don't drink or smoke, I don't use bad language, I have never beaten either of my wives, 4 of my 5 children like and love me, 6 of my 7 grandchildren do too. I think I could win the the other son and granddaughter over if I were given the opportunity. Oh yeah, my daughter-in-law likes me and so does my other future daughter-in-law. I'll bet I win your sweetie over too, if I had the chance.
C'mon, Greg. What's going on? We had a good relationship going for several years. You were even nice to Debbie. Well, you seemed to tolerate being around her anyway. What happened? Did I do something bad? You know what? You are missing out on not knowing Grant, Drew and Amanda, and they are missing out on not knowing you. They have all three turned out very well. The boys are 21 now and Amanda is 19. Your soon to be sister-in-law is very sweet. I think you would like her. She is going to be the perfect preacher's wife. God and I picked her out. I'll tell you about that sometime.
Amanda and Drew both have beautiful voices and love to sing. Grant has played the acoustic and acoustic/electric guitar for several years. I have told him of your skill with the guitar. Grant is going to be Baptist preacher, Drew is majoring in special education and Amanda is determined to be a Christian recording artist.
Grant can give you spiritual help, Drew can help any of your children who may have to ride the "short bus", Amanda can get you tickets to all the shows in Nashville, and Angela can decorate your home. Then there's your older brother. Geoff can give you advice on birth control.
You know the old saying..."If it ain't broke, don't fix it!" Well, something must be "broke". But if I don't know what it is, I can't fix it. Why don't you tell me, so I can try to fix it.
Our not being able to see each other or talk to each other is not God's will. And you know something else...it would not be your mother's will either. Ask Geoff about that. Ask your Aunt Betty.
Son, I pray for you, Kaleigh and your bride to be every morning, during my quiet time with the Lord. I pray that she is a Christian and that she is the one that I have been praying that God would bring into your life, and that now you will be able to get custody of Kaleigh, and she and Kaleigh will love each other as mother and daughter, and together you both will find the happiness that God has intended for every husband and wife.
Let me hear from you.
love,
Dad
Greg is still holding a lot against my Dad. Dad divorced Greg's mom, later married someone 11 years younger, and then Greg's mother passed away from cancer. So, Greg has held all of this against Dad for close to 25 years. The only time we have really seen him recently is when Winnie, my grandmother, passed away back in 1997. I know that it is hard to forgive someone for "abandoning" your mother, but come on. Don't lose what little family you DO have. Dad's other son, Geoff, has forgiven Dad and moved on. He is pretty close to our family. Greg is the only one that hates everyone. He is getting married in January and just told Dad about his daughter, Kaleigh, a year or so ago...she is 7 now. I know, my family belongs on "Passions." All we need is a midget, a witch, and for my brother and sister to sleep together while developing a tiny cluster of tumors. Anyway, that is some background. Alot of background.
So, Dad is trying to get Greg to talk to him. He has sent countless emails with no replies, and he just sent him another one today. I posted it below. I wanted everyone to read it because it just shows how unconditional a father's love is AND how frickin' hysterical my Dad is. Good one, Daddy....
To: Greg
From: Dad
Howzit goin son? I still have not heard back from you. My e-mails to you are not bouncing back, so I assume that they are getting through to you.
Well, your brother, Grant, and his "fiancie" have set a date. They are getting married on March 11th at Bellevue Baptist Church. They are probably going to Paris for their honeymoon. We have some friends who own two apartments in Paris. One is for visiting family and friends. They also have a bed & breakfast in the French countryside, outside Paris. He and Angela can stay FREE. All they have to do is come up with the roundtrip airfare and some spending money.
How about you and your fiancie? By the way, what is her name? Geoff said you are getting married in January in Orlando. What date and where? Are you going to allow me to come? Winnie and I crashed Geoff's wedding, but I don't think she will be able to come to yours.
Geoff and I would still like to come down for a long weekend visit to Orlando, to see you and Kaleigh and to meet your intended. What did you say her name is? How bout e-mailing me some pictures of all three of you and telling me about her, starting with her name.
I promise that we will both be on our best behavier...well, at least near best. We won't burp or fart in front of her. I won't scratch anything below my waist. I don't think Geoff will either. ..I don''t think. We won't use any words beginning with "F" unless we are talking about fries, fish or freckles. We won't pee or dribble on the floor and we will put the seat and lid down after every visit to the bathroom.
Both your younger brothers and your sister are back at school now. Grant is a senior at Mississippi College in Clinton, MS, Drew is a senior at Western Kentucky University in Bowling Green, KY, and Amanda is a sophomore at Mississippi College. Grant and Angela will both graduate in May. Even though Drew is a senior too, he will not graduate until May of 2007, because he changed his major and changed colleges.
Grant will start Seminary in the fall of 2006. It will take him three years to get through that. Angela will work in an interior design firm. Mid-America Baptist Theological Seminary is building a new campus right across the street from Bellevue, including student housing. It will all be finished by the time Grant is ready to enter.
What does your fiancie do? Is she a nurse, a sales person, a teacher, a veterinarian, an exotic dancer, a lion tamer, or what? Is she a Christian? Is she going to make sure you go to church every Sunday? Has she ever been married before? Does she have children? Is she a white girl? Does she have any tattoos or a wooden leg?
You know, my daddy had a girlfriend once who had a wooden leg. He used to strike his matches on her knee. He had to stop seeing her, because the knob on the gearshift on his Model A was made of wood. He kept getting the gearshift knob and her knee mixed up. He said after three wrecks, breaking up with her was obviously the best thing to do.
Does she know anything about me and your younger brothers and sister? Does she think I am a bad person? If she asks, tell her that I am a Christian, I teach senior high boys in Sunday school, I go on mission trips with the youth to Central and South America, I don't drink or smoke, I don't use bad language, I have never beaten either of my wives, 4 of my 5 children like and love me, 6 of my 7 grandchildren do too. I think I could win the the other son and granddaughter over if I were given the opportunity. Oh yeah, my daughter-in-law likes me and so does my other future daughter-in-law. I'll bet I win your sweetie over too, if I had the chance.
C'mon, Greg. What's going on? We had a good relationship going for several years. You were even nice to Debbie. Well, you seemed to tolerate being around her anyway. What happened? Did I do something bad? You know what? You are missing out on not knowing Grant, Drew and Amanda, and they are missing out on not knowing you. They have all three turned out very well. The boys are 21 now and Amanda is 19. Your soon to be sister-in-law is very sweet. I think you would like her. She is going to be the perfect preacher's wife. God and I picked her out. I'll tell you about that sometime.
Amanda and Drew both have beautiful voices and love to sing. Grant has played the acoustic and acoustic/electric guitar for several years. I have told him of your skill with the guitar. Grant is going to be Baptist preacher, Drew is majoring in special education and Amanda is determined to be a Christian recording artist.
Grant can give you spiritual help, Drew can help any of your children who may have to ride the "short bus", Amanda can get you tickets to all the shows in Nashville, and Angela can decorate your home. Then there's your older brother. Geoff can give you advice on birth control.
You know the old saying..."If it ain't broke, don't fix it!" Well, something must be "broke". But if I don't know what it is, I can't fix it. Why don't you tell me, so I can try to fix it.
Our not being able to see each other or talk to each other is not God's will. And you know something else...it would not be your mother's will either. Ask Geoff about that. Ask your Aunt Betty.
Son, I pray for you, Kaleigh and your bride to be every morning, during my quiet time with the Lord. I pray that she is a Christian and that she is the one that I have been praying that God would bring into your life, and that now you will be able to get custody of Kaleigh, and she and Kaleigh will love each other as mother and daughter, and together you both will find the happiness that God has intended for every husband and wife.
Let me hear from you.
love,
Dad