A New Level of Gay
It is official. I have just reached level red on the Gay Threat Level System. Well, actually it is the Homeland Security Terrorist Threat Level Meter that I used, but I changed it to the Gay Threat Level System. Finally, someone actually put that meter to good use. I'm not a terrorist...simply a homo. Why the move to red? Well, I have officially watched and loved "The Gilmore Girls."
It is just so frickin' funny. Lorelai and Rory are the funniest and sweetest Mother/Daughter team since...Judy & Liza. Okay, Judy & Liza are more drugged-out and alcoholic than funny and sweet...but you get the idea. Here are many of the reasons I love this show...First, the pace of the show is great. I mean, no one could ever speak THAT quickly with that much wit. It's great. I could never be on that show. I can't talk that fast. I would end up just drooling on myself and in need of speech therapy. Second, Lorelai has made many references to Judy Garland. A gay man writes this show. I know it. Third, it is set in a serene New England town. Come on, who doesn't love a serene New England town? Well, I'm sure some people don't...like Nazi's and baby-eaters. I doubt that Nazi's and baby-eaters watch the WB though. They are usually watching UPN. Anyway, to wrap things up...I heart "The Gilmore Girls." I have stepped into a new level of gay, and I fear it not. I embrace it and move on. Besides, I have Jennifer to help me along this path of Gilmore Girldom...and my Sim's life partners, the Homo's. I also love Rory's name, b/c it is really fun to say slowly. Rrrrorrrrry. I agree with Jennifer...I would name my pet lion that, not my daughter. Pet lions are a dime a dozen.
Now that I am done ranting over my new discovery, that is actually 5 years old (I'm a little slow on the pick-up)...I can update everyone on what I have been doing since coming back to this beautiful city known as Bowling Green. A whole lot of nuthin. Well, actually I have been looking for a job. It SUCKS! I hate it. I have never looked for a job. The 3 jobs that I have had, have all been handed to me. Seriously, I have never gone out and looked for a job. Why don't people put up signs anymore? Where have all the "Now Hiring" signs gone? Answer me that. Would it kill someone to advertise? I don't understand it. If you are hiring, why make people guess? "Well, we need people to work here, but we don't want to look desperate. Let's just hope someone wanders in and asks for an application." I hate you, hypothetical store manager. I have applied at American Eagle, and that's about it. I want to work with special needs children, but they are all hiding or something. I can't find a single job that pertains to anyone wiht special needs. Did they find a cure for autism in Bowling Green? Oh, I know why you can't find them...it's because they blend in with the native Kentuckians here. Everyone has special needs in Kentucky! If that's the case, then why is it so difficult to find a job? I am educated and not inbred, who wouldn't hire me?? I ask alot of questions. I give up. I am just going to waste away in my little room with no air conditioning.
There is some good news in Bowling Green though! I bought a new carpet, ghetto-rigged the cable into my room, have wireless internet, AND I signed up for a new tanning package. I was looking around for a new tanning salon b/c Express Tan doesn't seem to get the job done too well. I went to this little hole-in-the-wall place that Heather recommended. I walked in and immediately regretted the decision. As soon as I got in there, there was a creepy man who looked like Dog, the Bounty Hunter. He was busy at the drive-thru window. Yes, you read correctly. The tanning bed sells cigarettes via the drive-thru window. I tell the guy that I want to buy a package. He hands me a card, and I fill it out. I handed it back to him along with my credit card. He said that they don't take cards. I silently thanked the Lord and said "Oh, I don't have a check with me. I'll be right back." I hauled ass, and never looked back. Sorry, Heather. You may love ghetto tanning, but I feared for my life. If I'm going to get cancer, I want it to be in a clean, sterile environment. I bought a new package at Express Tan. I'll just have to stay in their beds a little longer than usual. I hate sweating.
On a totally unrelated note, I don't watch 7th Heaven, but I have to comment on it. My opinion is very important, even if it is not very informed. Anyway, the hot, beautiful guy is married to the average, odd-looking girl. What is up with that? Why is a normie with a pretty person? Everyone knows that physical atttraction is more important than personality. Don't mix, people. Don't mix.
Oooo! Something exciting! I went to Puerto's the other night and got buzzed! Buzzed, I say! My first ever! I had a margarita. Actually, it was Tequila and ice, for the most part. I was half-way through it when I got really happy. I am not a fan of drinking, and that will probably be one of very few buzzes in my life, but it was kind of fun...kind of scary, but fun. I don't like being out of control, so that's why I will probably just get a coke next time. Coca-cola, not cocaine. Just clearing it up. I know it is common to order cocaine with your Puerto's meal, but I meant Coca-Cola.
Alright, as Jennifer would say...I'm gonna go now.
It is just so frickin' funny. Lorelai and Rory are the funniest and sweetest Mother/Daughter team since...Judy & Liza. Okay, Judy & Liza are more drugged-out and alcoholic than funny and sweet...but you get the idea. Here are many of the reasons I love this show...First, the pace of the show is great. I mean, no one could ever speak THAT quickly with that much wit. It's great. I could never be on that show. I can't talk that fast. I would end up just drooling on myself and in need of speech therapy. Second, Lorelai has made many references to Judy Garland. A gay man writes this show. I know it. Third, it is set in a serene New England town. Come on, who doesn't love a serene New England town? Well, I'm sure some people don't...like Nazi's and baby-eaters. I doubt that Nazi's and baby-eaters watch the WB though. They are usually watching UPN. Anyway, to wrap things up...I heart "The Gilmore Girls." I have stepped into a new level of gay, and I fear it not. I embrace it and move on. Besides, I have Jennifer to help me along this path of Gilmore Girldom...and my Sim's life partners, the Homo's. I also love Rory's name, b/c it is really fun to say slowly. Rrrrorrrrry. I agree with Jennifer...I would name my pet lion that, not my daughter. Pet lions are a dime a dozen.
Now that I am done ranting over my new discovery, that is actually 5 years old (I'm a little slow on the pick-up)...I can update everyone on what I have been doing since coming back to this beautiful city known as Bowling Green. A whole lot of nuthin. Well, actually I have been looking for a job. It SUCKS! I hate it. I have never looked for a job. The 3 jobs that I have had, have all been handed to me. Seriously, I have never gone out and looked for a job. Why don't people put up signs anymore? Where have all the "Now Hiring" signs gone? Answer me that. Would it kill someone to advertise? I don't understand it. If you are hiring, why make people guess? "Well, we need people to work here, but we don't want to look desperate. Let's just hope someone wanders in and asks for an application." I hate you, hypothetical store manager. I have applied at American Eagle, and that's about it. I want to work with special needs children, but they are all hiding or something. I can't find a single job that pertains to anyone wiht special needs. Did they find a cure for autism in Bowling Green? Oh, I know why you can't find them...it's because they blend in with the native Kentuckians here. Everyone has special needs in Kentucky! If that's the case, then why is it so difficult to find a job? I am educated and not inbred, who wouldn't hire me?? I ask alot of questions. I give up. I am just going to waste away in my little room with no air conditioning.
There is some good news in Bowling Green though! I bought a new carpet, ghetto-rigged the cable into my room, have wireless internet, AND I signed up for a new tanning package. I was looking around for a new tanning salon b/c Express Tan doesn't seem to get the job done too well. I went to this little hole-in-the-wall place that Heather recommended. I walked in and immediately regretted the decision. As soon as I got in there, there was a creepy man who looked like Dog, the Bounty Hunter. He was busy at the drive-thru window. Yes, you read correctly. The tanning bed sells cigarettes via the drive-thru window. I tell the guy that I want to buy a package. He hands me a card, and I fill it out. I handed it back to him along with my credit card. He said that they don't take cards. I silently thanked the Lord and said "Oh, I don't have a check with me. I'll be right back." I hauled ass, and never looked back. Sorry, Heather. You may love ghetto tanning, but I feared for my life. If I'm going to get cancer, I want it to be in a clean, sterile environment. I bought a new package at Express Tan. I'll just have to stay in their beds a little longer than usual. I hate sweating.
On a totally unrelated note, I don't watch 7th Heaven, but I have to comment on it. My opinion is very important, even if it is not very informed. Anyway, the hot, beautiful guy is married to the average, odd-looking girl. What is up with that? Why is a normie with a pretty person? Everyone knows that physical atttraction is more important than personality. Don't mix, people. Don't mix.
Oooo! Something exciting! I went to Puerto's the other night and got buzzed! Buzzed, I say! My first ever! I had a margarita. Actually, it was Tequila and ice, for the most part. I was half-way through it when I got really happy. I am not a fan of drinking, and that will probably be one of very few buzzes in my life, but it was kind of fun...kind of scary, but fun. I don't like being out of control, so that's why I will probably just get a coke next time. Coca-cola, not cocaine. Just clearing it up. I know it is common to order cocaine with your Puerto's meal, but I meant Coca-Cola.
Alright, as Jennifer would say...I'm gonna go now.