don't leave me
So I've come to realize that I have some very deeply-seated abandonment issues that have been coming to the surface every Monday morning when Shane leaves to go out in the field for work. This morning I had a dream right after Shane had got up...he was still in the house, just getting ready for work, but I guess I could feel his absence from my side. I dreamt that we were going camping together and somehow I made him mad and he left me. That's exactly what my deepest fear is, that he'll leave me. Just like my mother did when I was a baby, and just like my father did when he died last summer. What I need to remind myself is that neither of them did that because of anything I did, it was just what had to happen at the time.
Shane is an angel for dealing with me through these issues. He keeps reminding me that he's not going anywhere, except for about fifty miles north for the work week. I still feel incredibly sad, though. I think I just need to sit inside that sadness a bit and work through those issues somehow. And of course, try to spend as much time as possible with friends while he's out of town.
Shane is an angel for dealing with me through these issues. He keeps reminding me that he's not going anywhere, except for about fifty miles north for the work week. I still feel incredibly sad, though. I think I just need to sit inside that sadness a bit and work through those issues somehow. And of course, try to spend as much time as possible with friends while he's out of town.