Oh, television. You make my life complete.
Nothing but spoilers, people!
HEROES
I know it's been cool to hate on Heroes since the second season but I'm still totally into it. No show on television is better for just turning your brain off and yelling at the screen. The neighbors probably think I get murdered every Monday night (and then brought back to life so I can be murdered again on Wednesdays).
I'm very excited about the new circus people, although I'm totally confused about their powers. Whatever they are, they're new and interesting and I like new and interesting. I also like Noah going to Peter for help, even if they were total idiots afterward. That guy just killed Danko (YAY!) for that little compass, so you probably shouldn't leave it with unspecial Noah no matter how badass he is. I can forgive them, though. I love Noah so much and my heart broke into a thousand little pieces when some manwhore answered his wife's phone. Sandra! Come back to us! We love you! Noah's the only reason I'm interested in Claire anymore. Not even making friends with Gracie Sheffield helps, especially now that Gracie's a serial killer waiting to happen. Or not waiting, whatever the case may be. I'm also so sick of Niki/Jessica/Tracy/Barbara. As far as I'm concerned, the best thing about Niki was Micah (Come back!), the second-best thing was D.L. and the third was that she died. For me, Tracy's become the embodiment of the show's inability to prune away the dead branches to make way for the new. We all have characters we'd hate to lose (Hiro, who may or may not be dying, is mine) but I take the same approach to Heroes as I do to Hello! Project: Change is not only necessary, but beneficial. And I know I'm probably in the minority, but one of those changes needs to be Sylar. He outlived his usefulness after season one and I can't even find him entertaining when he's fucking with my Matt.
PS - If anything on Heroes has made me happier than Ando and Kimiko hooking up, I certainly don't remember it now.
THE BIG BANG THEORY
Okay, so it's no secret that I don't like Leonard and Penny together. You'll probably be more surprised to know that, even though I ship them, I don't really want Penny and Sheldon together in the show either. Seeing the one female main character relegated to the "girlfriend" role and shunted off to the side offends my feminist sensibilities. That's exactly what happened this week. All Penny did was make out with Leonard and try to comfort Sheldon. The boys went to Texas on their own, while Penny waited behind. And no, she didn't need to go because she didn't screw him over at the North Pole, but that's kind of my point. She's already the odd-man-out and making her Leonard's girlfriend worsens it.
Maybe I'm in a bad mood, though, because I really didn't like this episode. Everyone was so unlikable. The way the boys tampered with Sheldon's experiment was damn near unforgivable, as friends and as scientists. Worse yet, it didn't even make sense. Once they started screwing with his results, their trip became completely pointless. If they weren't there for any scientifically valid reason, why not just go home and send other people to deal with Sheldon. There would have been no reason to keep him happy if he were at the North Pole and they were in Pasedena. Penny annoyed me by not being more disgusted with Leonard for what he did. Mary, who I otherwise love, annoyed me with her Chinese grilled cheese comment. On the bright side, things can only go up from here. Or down. They could also go down.
GLEE
Having such a huge following so early has been a blessing for Glee but it might be a bit of a curse too. The four episodes they've had so far have been kind of shaky, which is to be expected of a new series. I'm worried people will expect too much of it too early. I guess it's better than getting canceled after the first episode because no one bothered to watch. I get extra concerned because have a history of killing shows just by loving them. Poor Kings.
The last episode might have been my favorite so far, even though it was the weakest for my favorite character, Sue. Kurt's my second-favorite, though, and all of his scenes were fantastic, even if I did spend the first five minutes wondering what the hell Cheerleader #3 is doing suddenly hanging out with Kurt and Tina and buying matching leotards together. I totally freaked when his dad showed up, as they wanted us too, but OH! The hug with his dad was so touching! If I had a heart, I might have cried. And since I love his dad now, I'm so glad he got to be proud of Kurt at the football game. Kurt the Football Star is my favorite thing in the whole world. I don't know why, but I love the idea of him doing traditionally macho things in his own way. I've also got a secret fantasy that he knows how to fix cars. And that Puck will need a tune-up. As for Kurt/Puck, I know that some people are saying this episode killed the ship but I think it made it stronger. Puck is obsessed with the gay. He spent more time this episode thinking about Kurt than Quinn, and she's pregnant with his bastard lovechild. If it killed any ship, it was Puck/Quinn. Even if Finn dumps her, I can't see why Quinn would ever forgive Puck if what she said about him getting her drunk was true. The only saving grace in that storyline was Teri the hilarious psycho plotting to steal her baby. I really can't understand why people don't like her. I think maybe it's Will and Will/Emma that makes people look at her in a bad light, but Will's just as responsible for the problems in their marriage as she is. Well, the fake pregnancy probably tips the scales, but he helped get them to that point. We shouldn't overlook his faults just because he's the main character. One thing he did do right in this episode was to give Tina that solo. Rachel's trying to control glee club with her threats and he needs to break her ASAP.
There can only be one captain of this ship! No Tennille!
CRIMINAL MINDS
I CANNOT. BELIEVE. THEY WENT THERE. I can't! Okay, and in all honesty, we don't know exactly where they went. After rewatching the first episode of the new season a few times, I can see two potential options: One, my initial thought, is that the Reaper raped Hotch. It makes total sense in context and fits with the dialogue and the sexualized nature of the stabbing. The second interpretation, which I dismissed at first but reconsidered later, is that he stabbed Hotch in the genitals in order to make him impotent. I don't think he actually cut anything off, though. They couldn't have avoided telling us that - and besides, Hotch never would have asked the team what the Reaper took if he already knew. I think at this point, it all comes down to two equally valid interpretations of one (heavily paraphrased) line, "You said stabbing is a substitution for sex and that I'm impotent. Let's see if this changes the way you profile." He either proved he wasn't impotent or he's attempting to prove that impotence wouldn't change anything. You know, I can't really think of the correct way to phrase that last thought. Sorry if it doesn't make sense.
I enjoyed the rest of the show too, but my concern for Hotch kind of outweighs that. Reid (who my sister and I usually call Puppy, so if I slip up, that's who I'm talking about) had a cute little Big Damn Hero moment out of necessity, but I'm kind of surprised at how much they downplayed his injury. He's going to be out of commission for a while, so either they've got something else up their sleeve or they hope to disguise it the way they did at the beginning of the episode. ALSO! Hotch's chart says he's 43 now. Does that fit any of his established timelines, or is this a new one? Maybe the writers could call J.K. Rowling and ask her to help them with their math.
FLASHFORWARD
I came for the total lack of anything else on, but I stayed for the famous Jett Jackson. I hope there's more of him later, but for now, John Cho is my favorite. I only started to care about him once he realized he was going to die, though. I'm pretty meh about everyone else except the kangaroo, but it's the first episode so I'm not too concerned. If you've got nothing else to do on Thursday nights, I'd recommend tuning in, but at this point I wouldn't cancel any plans.
MONK
Monk is different from the rest of my shows (except Psych) in that there's really no ongoing plot to follow, so you can just take the shows on an episode-by-episode basis. Well, there is the mystery of Trudy's murder, which they're supposed to be solving soon, but that hasn't been seriously looked at for a while now. This season, we've had a series of really weak episodes that kind of drive me crazy because I can see the finish line but we're not moving towards it. There has, however, been an unusual amount of progress toward the Monk/Natalie end, which I'm convinced they've been pushing since the first episode. If you can overlook all the voodoo crap, last night's episode was probably the best this season. Voodoo is a real religion that real people really believe, not some kitchy public domain spooky thing that you can twist to suit your own purposes without research or respect.
PSYCH
Like I mentioned above with Monk, Psych doesn't really have any sort of ongoing plot aside from the relationship stuff, which usually doesn't get too much of a focus. When they do focus on it, however, it's the low point of the show. Shawn/Juliet doesn't work for me for two reasons: First, I am 100% convinced that Shawn is bisexual and he's got way more chemistry with Gus and Lassiter than he does with Juliet, so why would he want to date her? That's not USA's fault, though. It's mine. What is their fault is that they gave Shawn the perfect girlfriend and it makes both Shawn and Juliet look terrible when they flirt with each other.
There are no words to describe the joyful noise I made when I saw Kenan and Urkel. Where was Kel, though? Lord knows he probably needs a job. They were both really funny, though, and it was nice seeing that Gus has had a life outside of Shawn. I thought the scene where he was yelling at them for sleeping with his girlfriend was really effective. I felt so bad for him, but I'm glad they made up. The only downside was Lassi and Jules acting like total jackasses. I know they had a "reason" this week but they've been this way all season. It's wearing thin.
HEROES
I know it's been cool to hate on Heroes since the second season but I'm still totally into it. No show on television is better for just turning your brain off and yelling at the screen. The neighbors probably think I get murdered every Monday night (and then brought back to life so I can be murdered again on Wednesdays).
I'm very excited about the new circus people, although I'm totally confused about their powers. Whatever they are, they're new and interesting and I like new and interesting. I also like Noah going to Peter for help, even if they were total idiots afterward. That guy just killed Danko (YAY!) for that little compass, so you probably shouldn't leave it with unspecial Noah no matter how badass he is. I can forgive them, though. I love Noah so much and my heart broke into a thousand little pieces when some manwhore answered his wife's phone. Sandra! Come back to us! We love you! Noah's the only reason I'm interested in Claire anymore. Not even making friends with Gracie Sheffield helps, especially now that Gracie's a serial killer waiting to happen. Or not waiting, whatever the case may be. I'm also so sick of Niki/Jessica/Tracy/Barbara. As far as I'm concerned, the best thing about Niki was Micah (Come back!), the second-best thing was D.L. and the third was that she died. For me, Tracy's become the embodiment of the show's inability to prune away the dead branches to make way for the new. We all have characters we'd hate to lose (Hiro, who may or may not be dying, is mine) but I take the same approach to Heroes as I do to Hello! Project: Change is not only necessary, but beneficial. And I know I'm probably in the minority, but one of those changes needs to be Sylar. He outlived his usefulness after season one and I can't even find him entertaining when he's fucking with my Matt.
PS - If anything on Heroes has made me happier than Ando and Kimiko hooking up, I certainly don't remember it now.
THE BIG BANG THEORY
Okay, so it's no secret that I don't like Leonard and Penny together. You'll probably be more surprised to know that, even though I ship them, I don't really want Penny and Sheldon together in the show either. Seeing the one female main character relegated to the "girlfriend" role and shunted off to the side offends my feminist sensibilities. That's exactly what happened this week. All Penny did was make out with Leonard and try to comfort Sheldon. The boys went to Texas on their own, while Penny waited behind. And no, she didn't need to go because she didn't screw him over at the North Pole, but that's kind of my point. She's already the odd-man-out and making her Leonard's girlfriend worsens it.
Maybe I'm in a bad mood, though, because I really didn't like this episode. Everyone was so unlikable. The way the boys tampered with Sheldon's experiment was damn near unforgivable, as friends and as scientists. Worse yet, it didn't even make sense. Once they started screwing with his results, their trip became completely pointless. If they weren't there for any scientifically valid reason, why not just go home and send other people to deal with Sheldon. There would have been no reason to keep him happy if he were at the North Pole and they were in Pasedena. Penny annoyed me by not being more disgusted with Leonard for what he did. Mary, who I otherwise love, annoyed me with her Chinese grilled cheese comment. On the bright side, things can only go up from here. Or down. They could also go down.
GLEE
Having such a huge following so early has been a blessing for Glee but it might be a bit of a curse too. The four episodes they've had so far have been kind of shaky, which is to be expected of a new series. I'm worried people will expect too much of it too early. I guess it's better than getting canceled after the first episode because no one bothered to watch. I get extra concerned because have a history of killing shows just by loving them. Poor Kings.
The last episode might have been my favorite so far, even though it was the weakest for my favorite character, Sue. Kurt's my second-favorite, though, and all of his scenes were fantastic, even if I did spend the first five minutes wondering what the hell Cheerleader #3 is doing suddenly hanging out with Kurt and Tina and buying matching leotards together. I totally freaked when his dad showed up, as they wanted us too, but OH! The hug with his dad was so touching! If I had a heart, I might have cried. And since I love his dad now, I'm so glad he got to be proud of Kurt at the football game. Kurt the Football Star is my favorite thing in the whole world. I don't know why, but I love the idea of him doing traditionally macho things in his own way. I've also got a secret fantasy that he knows how to fix cars. And that Puck will need a tune-up. As for Kurt/Puck, I know that some people are saying this episode killed the ship but I think it made it stronger. Puck is obsessed with the gay. He spent more time this episode thinking about Kurt than Quinn, and she's pregnant with his bastard lovechild. If it killed any ship, it was Puck/Quinn. Even if Finn dumps her, I can't see why Quinn would ever forgive Puck if what she said about him getting her drunk was true. The only saving grace in that storyline was Teri the hilarious psycho plotting to steal her baby. I really can't understand why people don't like her. I think maybe it's Will and Will/Emma that makes people look at her in a bad light, but Will's just as responsible for the problems in their marriage as she is. Well, the fake pregnancy probably tips the scales, but he helped get them to that point. We shouldn't overlook his faults just because he's the main character. One thing he did do right in this episode was to give Tina that solo. Rachel's trying to control glee club with her threats and he needs to break her ASAP.
There can only be one captain of this ship! No Tennille!
CRIMINAL MINDS
I CANNOT. BELIEVE. THEY WENT THERE. I can't! Okay, and in all honesty, we don't know exactly where they went. After rewatching the first episode of the new season a few times, I can see two potential options: One, my initial thought, is that the Reaper raped Hotch. It makes total sense in context and fits with the dialogue and the sexualized nature of the stabbing. The second interpretation, which I dismissed at first but reconsidered later, is that he stabbed Hotch in the genitals in order to make him impotent. I don't think he actually cut anything off, though. They couldn't have avoided telling us that - and besides, Hotch never would have asked the team what the Reaper took if he already knew. I think at this point, it all comes down to two equally valid interpretations of one (heavily paraphrased) line, "You said stabbing is a substitution for sex and that I'm impotent. Let's see if this changes the way you profile." He either proved he wasn't impotent or he's attempting to prove that impotence wouldn't change anything. You know, I can't really think of the correct way to phrase that last thought. Sorry if it doesn't make sense.
I enjoyed the rest of the show too, but my concern for Hotch kind of outweighs that. Reid (who my sister and I usually call Puppy, so if I slip up, that's who I'm talking about) had a cute little Big Damn Hero moment out of necessity, but I'm kind of surprised at how much they downplayed his injury. He's going to be out of commission for a while, so either they've got something else up their sleeve or they hope to disguise it the way they did at the beginning of the episode. ALSO! Hotch's chart says he's 43 now. Does that fit any of his established timelines, or is this a new one? Maybe the writers could call J.K. Rowling and ask her to help them with their math.
FLASHFORWARD
I came for the total lack of anything else on, but I stayed for the famous Jett Jackson. I hope there's more of him later, but for now, John Cho is my favorite. I only started to care about him once he realized he was going to die, though. I'm pretty meh about everyone else except the kangaroo, but it's the first episode so I'm not too concerned. If you've got nothing else to do on Thursday nights, I'd recommend tuning in, but at this point I wouldn't cancel any plans.
MONK
Monk is different from the rest of my shows (except Psych) in that there's really no ongoing plot to follow, so you can just take the shows on an episode-by-episode basis. Well, there is the mystery of Trudy's murder, which they're supposed to be solving soon, but that hasn't been seriously looked at for a while now. This season, we've had a series of really weak episodes that kind of drive me crazy because I can see the finish line but we're not moving towards it. There has, however, been an unusual amount of progress toward the Monk/Natalie end, which I'm convinced they've been pushing since the first episode. If you can overlook all the voodoo crap, last night's episode was probably the best this season. Voodoo is a real religion that real people really believe, not some kitchy public domain spooky thing that you can twist to suit your own purposes without research or respect.
PSYCH
Like I mentioned above with Monk, Psych doesn't really have any sort of ongoing plot aside from the relationship stuff, which usually doesn't get too much of a focus. When they do focus on it, however, it's the low point of the show. Shawn/Juliet doesn't work for me for two reasons: First, I am 100% convinced that Shawn is bisexual and he's got way more chemistry with Gus and Lassiter than he does with Juliet, so why would he want to date her? That's not USA's fault, though. It's mine. What is their fault is that they gave Shawn the perfect girlfriend and it makes both Shawn and Juliet look terrible when they flirt with each other.
There are no words to describe the joyful noise I made when I saw Kenan and Urkel. Where was Kel, though? Lord knows he probably needs a job. They were both really funny, though, and it was nice seeing that Gus has had a life outside of Shawn. I thought the scene where he was yelling at them for sleeping with his girlfriend was really effective. I felt so bad for him, but I'm glad they made up. The only downside was Lassi and Jules acting like total jackasses. I know they had a "reason" this week but they've been this way all season. It's wearing thin.