Some bullet points...

[you_speak_lies]

I've got a long, uncomfortable e-mail to write and I think I'm coming down with something but I had a few things I wanted to get down quickly.

Morning Musume -
Kimagure Princess

The song's just not very good and I want to know what lunatic said, "You know what would be a great idea? Let's take this pop song by a Japanese girl group and autotune them until they sound even more chipmunk-like!" Takahashi cannot make those sounds. Don't lie to me.

The outfits were horrendous. Black cowboy hats and boots, lace arm-warmer thingies, white genie pants and long floaty vests? Not one item of clothing was redeemable.

The dance was flat-out absurd. It looked kind of like a practical joke.

I TOTALLY FUCKING LOVED IT ANYWAY!

Every single girl was gorgeous in her close-ups.

I loved the set! Even if the hallway full of streetlights didn't make sense. Hello! Project is so cheap that I get incredibly excited when they don't use greenscreens for everything. Is this a trend? I really hope so.

Heroes

If Claire's clingy friend goes all Psycho LesbianTM on us, I'll be sending out some very strongly-worded tweets.

~ ♥ ~ Ando and Kimi sitting in a tree! ~ ♥ ~

The second time Hiro went back in time to save the jumper, I was pissed off. The forty-sixth time, I was moved. Sort of. I still don't want him to die, but I'm more okay with the storyline now. As long as they find a way to fix him.

I could tell that whole "killing Nathan and burying him, only to have him crawl out of the ground as Sylar" thing was supposed to be a cliffhanger, but I didn't really care.

Also, seriously, I don't really care about the show that much when it's not on. I don't even care during commercial breaks anymore.

Go away, Tracy.

Where the fuck is Micah!?

The Big Bang Theory

I want a Wolowitz of my very own. I could totally fix him. A couple of self-help books, some Women's Studies classes, a new wardrobe and he's good to go.

I want a Raj of my very own. I'd even let him drink sometimes, but not enough so that the sweetness goes away. BTW, they need an episode where they handcuff him to Penny so he can get over it and learn to talk to her.

Speaking of which, I want a Penny of my very own. I'd put her on a show with writers that remember she's an actual character and not a trophy or a plot device.

I want a Sheldon of my very own. With a little negative reinforcement, I think I could break him. I'd have him hugging within a week, although he might be too traumatized to ever speak again. And he probably wouldn't be able to do math anymore. Okay, so maybe I shouldn't have a Sheldon.

Leonard can live under my sink with the other tampons, provided he pays rent. That boy needs either a good therapist or a good dominatrix, which ever one will taser him when he does something stupid. So probably the dominatrix. I hate hating him, but I can't help it lately.

Glee

MIIIIIIIIIIIKE!!!!!!!!!!! LOVE ME, MIKE! SING! TALK! DANCE SOME MORE! MAKE OUT WITH KURT! WANDER INTO THE BACKGROUND OF EVERY SINGLE SHOT!

The boys' mashup was better, because they had Mike.

Finn's voice is getting worse, though. Mike should have sung lead on that.

Rachel still annoys me, unlike Mike.

If she were smart, she'd forget Finn and fall in love with Mike. Then he could be male lead and people would stop complaining about the same two people getting all the songs, although they might still get pissed when Rachel sings solo lines that should clearly belong to Mike. Mike can sing duets all by himself thankyouverymuch.

I feel so bad for Ken. I don't know when I started to care about him, but he's my new woobie. Poor thing. Mike should console him. To clarify, I realize Ken's flawed too and I don't think Emma should try to love him just because she can't have Will or Mike. I just think she should stop stringing him along.

I'm losing all sympathy for Emma. It doesn't matter that Teri's an unpregnant liar - Emma doesn't know it and therefore it doesn't excuse her behavior. Mike would never do that. He should be her Guidance Counselor. He'd have her straightened out in a jiffy.

In addition to being a better Guidance Counselor than Emma, Mike would also be a better nurse than Teri. In fact, I bet he could do both while still being on the football team and in glee, all without his grades slipping. And he wouldn't have to take over-the-counter decongestants to do it, like Teri did.

In the season finale, Mike and Quinn should get trapped in an elevator so he can deliver her baby using the stuff she has in her purse. And if it's a boy, she can name it Mike.

I hope Mike gets to speak soon.

ETA: Some Mike icons/bases - feel free to edit and use however you see fit. Done in a rush, because I'm not going to have time for much of anything for the next few days and that seemed like far too long to go without a Mike icon. I'll make better ones later, though.









Criminal Minds

Last week's scary Hotch was scary. And a little bit hot. He kept it together better this week, though. I really expected him to tear into Reid for lying and then rationalizing it so poorly.

P.S. The only thing cuter than Reid is Reid plus Garcia.

I should have figured out the plot a lot quicker than I did. Something about this episode was off, though. The last one, too. Maybe it's all the quick rewriting they had to do to cover Puppy's busted knee.

It was probably wrong, but when the mob guy shot the hitman at the end, I cheered and professed my undying love for him. Rossi was an ass this week, but you still shouldn't kill his friends.

I feel like I should be taking notes while I watch this, because I know the writers are way smarter than I am and I'm sure I'm missing very important things. Or at the very least, I should turn my brain on while I watch it. I'm not very good at thinking while I watch TV.

FlashForward

I feel like I should be taking notes while I watch this too.

If somebody doesn't shoot that Nazi, I'm boycotting.

LESBIAN ALERT!!! Okay, I'm not boycotting.

More Jett Jackson or I'm boycotting!

Gabrielle Union! Okay, okay. I won't boycott. I love her soon-to-be-murdered fiancé too much anyway.

Really, I have no idea what's going on. It doesn't seem to matter much, though. I hope it doesn't catch up with me all of a sudden.