(no subject)
hold me closer, tiny dancer
kurt/blaine, pg-13, 5500 words
spoilers: 3x13
warnings: discussion of past canon bullying and assault, Mike/Tina heavy (1680 words from Mike's POV), not really Karofsky friendly
summary: missing scenes from Heart. Mike and Tina worry about Kurt, and then Blaine worries.
author’s note: I kind of hate that all I’ve managed to finish lately have been episode reactions. I’m sure parts of this will be jossed next episode, but I mostly just had to fix certain things for myself. Title and cut belong to Elton John.
There are eleven songs played in this fic. They’re in a zip file here, and I would recommend downloading it, because I didn't think the lyrics had a place in the fic, but I feel like this would be more enjoyable if you treated that as a sort of soundtrack.
-x-
To: Blaine
I appreciate the sentiment but dude that gorilla thing was pretty freaky looking
From: Blaine
... Gorilla thing??
Mike frowns at his phone. He’d meant to text Blaine after lunch, but then he’d gotten caught up in Tina, in running through several songs about how much they completely love each other despite Mr Schue’s failed assignment attempt, and the gorilla thing had sort of paled in comparison.
But he’d remembered during last period, and now, two hours later, Blaine’s replied, and - what?
“Uh, Tina,” he says, sitting up and swinging his legs off her bed. She’s sitting cross-legged on her floor, pencil tucked behind her ear as she looks through what he thinks are her History notes, and before he’d gotten Blaine’s text he was considering having an afternoon nap. Now he realizes how completely insane that is - he knows, logically, that they can’t be having sex all the time, or even making out, because they both have homework to do, and anyway they’d decided not to have sex this week, to make it extra special on Valentine’s Day, but - why on Earth he wasn’t just planning on spending the afternoon staring at her, he doesn’t know. She’s so beautiful.
And that doesn’t sound creepy at all.
Tina’s looking at him, eyebrows raised, and Mike realizes he’d said her name and then just sort of gaped at her like a moron, and he shakes his head clear. “Sorry,” he says, sliding to the floor and crawling over to her. “Look at this.” He gives her his phone.
“I thought it was kind of creepy too,” she says, and then clearly reads Blaine’s text, because her brows furrow and she says, “Wait, what?”
“Yeah, I don’t know,” Mike says as she gives him his phone back. “Do you think he’s trying to throw me off? Maybe he thinks I’d tell Kurt.”
Tina frowns. “The secret admirer thing doesn’t really make much sense. I mean, it’s not - it’s not exactly a secret, is it?”
“If it’s even Blaine,” Mike says, twisting up his mouth thoughtfully as he stares at his phone, like it’s going to give him the answer. He almost misses Tina’s look of surprise.
“You don’t think it is?”
Mike shrugs. “Isn’t that what Artie said, at lunch?”
“I guess,” Tina says. She seems confused, and kind of disappointed. Mike feels the same way. “If it’s not Blaine, then who is it? And why isn’t Blaine sending him stuff? I’m pretty sure Kurt said they hadn’t even spoken...”
“I don’t know,” Mike says. He frowns. “I don’t know what I’d do if you ignored me on Valentine’s.”
Tina’s eyes soften. “Aww,” she says, grinning and leaning over to kiss his jaw. He wraps his arms around her and cuddles her to him. “I’d never be able to do that,” she says. “V-Day isn’t til tomorrow, though. He’s still got time.”
He doesn’t end up replying to Blaine’s text; Tina’s worried, she wants to talk to everyone else and see if they know what’s going on before interfering, so they decide to talk to them all after glee tomorrow.
-x-
Artie, Rory, and Sugar are the only ones who end up being able to stick around after glee; everyone else seems to have some sort of drama going on. Mike knows for a fact that the three of them have their own drama, but at least they seem to care. He doesn’t know what’s going on with Mercedes, why she’s not there, but Tina had said Mercedes told her she didn’t know anything, so Mike guesses she wouldn’t have been too helpful anyway.
“I don’t know who else would have a crush on Kurt,” Artie’s saying. “I thought about it, because I don’t get why Blaine would say ‘from’ instead of ‘love’ - ”
“I hadn’t even thought of that,” Tina says. “But I guess you saw the card. That’s a good point.”
“Yeah, I saw the card,” Artie says. “And it didn’t look like Blaine’s handwriting, either.”
Mike cocks his head. He has literally no idea what Blaine’s handwriting looks like.
“You’re over-reacting,” Sugar says loudly and matter-of-factly. “It’s obviously his boyfriend. This is dumb.”
“I hope it’s Blaine,” Tina says. “I just don’t want Kurt to get hurt again. You weren’t here before, you don’t know what it was like.” She bites her lip, clearly upset just remembering it, and Mike reaches out and takes her hand, wishes he could do something more.
“We just don’t want what happened at prom to happen again,” Mike says.
“I wouldn’t put it past the fools at this school,” Artie says, nodding. “Okay. Maybe there are other gay kids we don’t know about. I’ll ask around, put out some feelers.”
“I will too,” Rory says. Mike jerks; he’d almost forgotten Rory was there. Rory seems to take that as surprise, and he says defensively, “I like Kurt. He’s always been nice to me.”
“Well, that’s great!” Sugar says brightly. “So this meeting is over, then?” Tina gives her a blank nod, and she claps her hands. “Great! Artie, Rory, you have to leave now.”
They must be more used to her abrupt nature than Mike is, because they do as she says with barely another word. Sugar strides over and closes the door after them, then she turns and faces him and Tina, an unfamiliar solemn look on her face.
“Sugar, what’s - ” Tina starts, but Sugar silences her.
“This is top secret information,” she says. “Only those of utmost importance, i.e. me, have been told. I’m going to let the two of you in on it, because I think you’ll just keep making trouble otherwise, and I’m not going to let you ruin my party.”
Tina looks just as confused as Mike feels. “What are you talking about?” Tina asks.
Sugar clasps her hands behind her back and looks smug. It’s both oddly endearing and completely infuriating. “Oh, I don’t know,” she says, rocking back and forth on her heels. “Maybe it’s just that I know Blaine’s surprise for Kurt, and it’s not any of this secret admirer nonsense.”
“What?!” Mike says before he can help himself.
“Why do you know?” Tina asks.
“No reason,” she singsongs, then, seeing the unimpressed looks on their faces, her face drops. “Fine,” she says grumpily. “I called Blaine to invite him to my party, and he asked if it was okay if he and Kurt showed up without dates, because obviously they’d be together but he doesn’t want Kurt to know he’s going, and also he wanted to ask if he could have a chunk of performance time so that he could sing to Kurt, which I have graciously given him. He almost lost his eye,” she says, sounding scandalized, as if she thinks they don’t already know. “I felt sorry for him.”
“Okay,” Tina says slowly.
“Uh,” Mike says.
“The secret admirer’s not Blaine because Blaine’s surprising Kurt at my party with a song!” Sugar says impatiently, waving her hands. “Keep up, you guys! Oh my God!”
“Okay,” Tina says again, obviously still recovering from the revelation that Blaine confided in Sugar before either of them. At least, that’s what Mike’s doing.
-x-
“Should we really be interfering?” Mike asks, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. They’re sitting in his car, and Tina’s thumb is hovering over Blaine’s number in her contact list.
“Yes,” Tina says. The look she gives him is almost a glare. “I don’t want Kurt to get hurt, Mike.”
“Neither do I!” Mike says. “It’s just - I usually try to stay out of the drama, and - ”
“They’re our friends,” Tina says. “We can’t just do nothing.”
“No, you’re right,” Mike agrees. It’s just that Tina’s ideas have been getting progressively more dramatic, from driving out to Blaine’s to let him know, to following Kurt to Sugar’s party to make sure everything’s okay. Spying on their friends is not exactly how Mike had imagined their Valentine’s, not that he needs a fairly meaningless holiday to tell Tina how much he loves her, but... “I guess I just don’t really feel comfortable getting so involved.”
She gives him this look, like she’s still annoyed but she’s softening, and she locks her phone and takes his hand. “We can just text Blaine? Just let him know. Maybe we’re over-reacting, maybe it is just him.”
“Maybe,” Mike says, squeezing her hand.
She smiles and starts typing out a text one-handed, and Mike looks at her and thinks. Thinks about how comparatively stable they are next to all the others couples in glee. Thinks about how when he looks at her, he sees forever. About how stupidly lucky he was that she fell in love with him.
“Last Valentine’s, Artie and I were talking about how lucky we were, to be dating two of the raddest girls in school,” Mike says, and Tina looks up at him, clearly surprised. He realizes belatedly that that was a pretty huge non sequitur. “I just,” he says, suddenly a little shy, “I still feel that way. You’re the coolest person I’ve ever met. And, I mean, of course, the most amazing and beautiful and - ”
“Mike,” Tina says, and she’s smiling, that absurdly fond smile that tells him she sees forever with him too.
“I just really love you,” he says, swallowing down the lump in his throat (the ball of feelings that he realizes has been there since Mercedes sang today, just waiting for this moment). She grins and kisses him, tells him that she loves him too, of course, and then she goes back to texting Blaine. He holds her hand and resolves to make sure she has the best Valentine’s ever.
-X-
From: Tina
Hey blaine! This might be nothing, it might be ur doing for all I know, but kurts been getting secret admirer gifts at school, and he thinks its u, so obv he wont have told u. and just in case its NOT u, I thought u should know. Mike and I are kinda worried. Hope we’ll see u at sugars tonight. Xo
Blaine feels sick. His first instinct is to call Kurt, and his thumb has already flicked from his messages to his contacts before he realizes what he’s doing and stops.
He feels guilty. He thinks it’s you. Blaine hadn’t even thought to - God, he’s pretty sure his admiration of Kurt is the least secret thing ever, this sort of thing hadn’t occurred to him. The only contact he’s had with Kurt all day has been through text message - he’s just been texting ‘<3’s to Kurt at random intervals, because he’d thought Kurt might start to suspect his plans for Sugar’s party if he said more.
And he’s worried, mostly because Tina and Mike are.
He kind of hates that their best case scenario here is probably just some random at McKinley having a genuine crush on Kurt. Because why wouldn’t they? Kurt is amazing. Blaine can reason it out, as well, because he and Kurt have been very careful about not touching each other in the halls, and with his absence from school over the last couple weeks - he can see how an outsider might think they’d broken up, or were only ever just good friends to begin with. (The thought twists his stomach, because he’d like to think that their feelings for each other are written all over their faces, but he can also understand ignoring all rational logic in favor of a crush. And Kurt is definitely crushworthy. There’s no doubt in his mind about that.)
It’s the best case scenario because Blaine is one hundred per cent sure that no matter who it is, Kurt’s not going to leave him. So best case scenario, Kurt gets a little ego boost and the knowledge that not everyone at McKinley outside of the glee club are dicks.
But God, there are so many dicks. Blaine just can’t stop thinking about last year’s prom, about all of those people who think it’s funny to play these sort of pranks. He almost says screw it to all of Operation: Surprise Kurt, almost gets in his car and drives to Kurt’s house, his doctor’s instructions against driving be damned.
Sugar’s organised a limo to pick him up, though, and it’s that thought, oddly, that gives him pause. He doesn’t know if he should ruin the night over something that could be nothing.
To: Tina
It’s not me. I’ve got a surprise for him, though, I don’t want to ruin it... What do you think I should do?
From: Tina
The last card might’ve been the end of it. Mike and I are getting to sugars thing early, though, just in case. We can just keep an eye out if you want?
Blaine smiles at ‘keep an eye out’; he’d spent the first few days after his operation annoying Kurt with endless eye-related jokes, loopy on painkillers and high off of his doctor’s all-clear.
To: Tina
That would be so great, if you guys don’t mind ruining your v-day for us. I’m sorry :(
From: Tina
Its really no problem! Dont be sorry blaine! Its not even your fault. Xoxo
Blaine’s had friends before. He’d considered the guys at Dalton good friends, especially. But he’s never had friends so willing to get involved in his life, the way some of the New Directions are. He can see why Kurt was so eager to get back to them, last year; Blaine’s finally starting to feel like there’s a place where he belongs. (A place that’s not just beside Kurt, that is.)
-x-
Tina texts him later to tell him that they’ve met up with Kurt, and that he seems subdued but otherwise okay. Blaine hadn’t even realized how tense he’d been until he isn’t anymore.
-x-
Kurt’s batting away balloons as Love Shack fades out, a massive grin on his face. Tina takes the stage and launches into a Florence and the Machine song, and Blaine pushes Kurt back against one of waist-high walls of the islands. Kurt’s happy grin fades into something more demure, coy, and every day Blaine marvels that this was the boy who didn’t think he was sexy, because really. The hunger in his eyes alone is one of the sexiest things Blaine’s ever seen.
He reaches up and fiddles with Kurt’s tie, loosening it a little just in case he pulled it too tight earlier. Kurt’s hands flutter and finally land on Blaine’s hips, and when Blaine looks up, he sees that Kurt looks slightly out of breath. And Blaine doesn’t think it’s because he just finished singing.
Blaine leans in, close enough to be within kissing distance, and says, “Happy Valentine’s.”
Kurt almost smirks, says, “Happy Valentine’s,” and then he pulls Blaine closer, curling his arms around Blaine’s waist, and Blaine’s not even really sure who kisses whom. His world has zeroed down to Kurt’s mouth sucking on his bottom lip, and his hands slide up from Kurt’s tie to cup his neck and jaw. Blaine sucks at Kurt’s top lip for a moment, enjoying the give-and-take they’ve got going on, before making an unconscious decision that he needs more. He opens his mouth, which makes Kurt do the same, and then his tongue is sliding against Kurt’s and God, Kurt’s tongue. Blaine’s pretty sure he’ll never get enough of it.
The kiss doesn’t last long, or at least, not as long as Blaine wants it to. But they’re in public, and he’s surprised that Kurt succumbed to - initiated? His brain is too fuzzy to work out the logistics - such an intense display of affection in the first place. Blaine’s surprised that he himself did.
He tells himself that they just missed each other, of course, but he runs his thumb along Kurt’s jaw as Kurt opens his eyes, and he can’t help thinking it’s more than that.
“Are you okay?” he asks, trying to convey all of his concern and love and hope and desperation in his voice and his eyes. It’s maybe too much emotion for his stupid body to portray, though; he doesn’t know if Kurt gets it, because he just smiles and fans his fingers out across Blaine’s back.
“I am now that you’re here,” Kurt says, his eyes smiling, and that maybe shouldn’t worry Blaine more but it does - but Sugar’s got the mic and she’s starting his cue and shit, they must have been kissing for longer than he thought. When did Tina finish?! He can’t believe nobody interrupted them, but then, the room is filled with their friends. It’s probably the safest public place they could be in Lima.
“Come on,” Blaine says, pulling away and grabbing Kurt’s hand. Kurt makes his ‘do tell’ face, and Blaine grins. “We’ve got another song, just you and me.” He leads Kurt over to Sugar and takes the microphone she offers him, which - when did they lose theirs?
The opening strains of Donna Lewis’s I Love You Always Forever begin, and Kurt’s face very clearly says ‘Really, Blaine?’ Because this is one of their car songs, it’s a song that Blaine insisted upon until it became one of their car songs, because he was on a nineties kick and it’s so accurate it hurts.
As Blaine sings, the small smile on Kurt’s face widens, and when he runs a hand down Kurt’s chest at “touching, discovering you,” Kurt’s blushing but he’s mouthing along.
The second verse is Blaine’s favourite, not least because of the line about the most unbelievable blue eyes he’s ever seen. He holds Kurt’s hand and croons every line directly to him, disregarding how completely sappy this must seem to everyone else.
Halfway through the verse Sugar pushes another mic into Kurt’s free hand, and then he’s singing along with Blaine. To Blaine. The rest of the song is just the chorus over and over, which is part of why Blaine loves it so much; the re-iteration of “always forever” strikes particularly close to home, despite how trite it may seem.
Blaine looks at Kurt’s flushed, happy face as the song finishes, and he feels terrible about ruining that, but he can’t handle not knowing what happened today any longer. He wants to preserve Kurt’s happiness for as long as possible, but he can’t stop thinking about “now that you’re here” and he’ll be stewing over what that means all night if they don’t talk. Besides, even if talking about it brings Kurt down from his performance high (from singing in front of their friends, from singing with Blaine, which sends tingles of joy up Blaine’s spine despite everything), Blaine thinks he can fix it. He hopes he can. Or that, more likely, they can fix it together.
So he grabs Kurt’s hand and pulls him away from their friends. He thinks about finding a corner of Breadstix furthest from the stereos, but it doesn’t look like that’s possible - its transformation into the Sugar Shack seems to have taken with it all opportunities for quiet, private conversation. So, ignoring Kurt’s raised eyebrows, Blaine drags him outside.
Kurt looks confused but he’s smiling, happiness radiating off of him, and Blaine is still floored by the knowledge that he can do that to another person, especially since that person is Kurt.
“Hi,” Kurt says, and Blaine almost laughs when he realizes they haven’t even said hello yet.
“Hi,” he echoes, pulling Kurt into a hug. “Sorry I kind of shut you out today. I didn’t trust myself not to blow the surprise.”
He hopes Kurt will take that as an invitation to talk about the secret admirer stuff, but he just giggles into Blaine’s shoulder and says, “I really didn’t think I’d get to see you today.”
Blaine smiles and kisses the side of Kurt’s head. “I’ll be back at school by Friday,” he says. “I convinced my parents that tonight would be a good practice run.” He pulls away from Kurt, then, holds him at arms length so he can see Kurt’s eyes. The fact that Kurt hasn’t brought up the secret admirer is making him worry more than he should, he thinks. He swallows. “Kurt,” he says, and Kurt tilts his head. He can obviously tell something’s wrong; the smile slips off his face. “C’mere,” he says. The front of Breadstix is lined with gardens, waist-high just like the ones inside, and Blaine hops up to sit on the wall, gesturing for Kurt to join him.
Kurt gives him a measured look, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. “I better not get my pants dirty, Blaine Anderson,” he says, and then he lets Blaine help him up. Once he’s settled on the totally not dirty wall, Blaine twines their fingers together and Kurt gives him a nervous smile. “What’s going on?”
Blaine tightens his grip on Kurt’s fingers, trying to reassure him, then he steadies himself and takes the plunge. “Um,” he says. “Tina and Mike told me about your secret admirer.”
“Oh,” Kurt breathes. He looks surprised, like he hadn’t thought Blaine would know about that. “I’d almost managed to forget.” … Or like he’d forgotten. What?
“What happened, Kurt?” he asks, unsure of whether he should be shooting for supportive, or worried, or, God, terrified. He settles for rubbing circles over Kurt’s hand with his thumb, and then Kurt starts explaining the valentines, and Blaine’s heart makes the decision for him, tightening with concern.
“Oh my God,” Kurt says, like something’s just occurred to him. “I - he knew my schedule.” He sounds kind of horrified, and he looks shaken, and dread creeps over Blaine. He’s sure, now, that this isn’t just going to be someone with a harmless crush.
“Kurt,” he says, his voice more strangled than he’d expected. “Who was it?”
Kurt looks at him, and Blaine suddenly gets the impression that Kurt doesn’t want to tell him. But then he closes his eyes, and swallows, and says, “Karofsky.”
It hits Blaine like a freight train. He’s taken back to fifteen months ago, to the quiet, scared, small voice of a boy he barely knew on the phone saying, “He kissed me,” and how Blaine’s stomach had clenched with something that he’d decided was concern. He remembers with a sudden intensity how horrible those weeks were; Kurt, crying in Blaine’s car before they saw a movie because Karofsky had threatened to kill him and Kurt didn’t know what to do, nobody seemed to care. Blaine remembers the fear in the back of his mind every day, every time his phone lit up with Kurt’s name, that today would be it, that this monster would put Kurt in hospital or worse and there was nothing Blaine could do about it. He remembers Kurt’s concern for his father’s health, his guilt over his transfer.
The idea that the cause of all of that was a crush Karofsky didn’t know how to deal with makes Blaine feel physically ill. It’s unfair, he thinks, that Karofsky will be able to justify it with that. He remembers what Kurt had told him about their conversation at Scandals, remembers thinking that it sounded like Karofsky was re-writing history with himself as the victim. Blaine won’t put it past him to blame his actions on a crush.
He swallows down all of his feelings, though, because Kurt’s are obviously more important. “Are you okay?”
“I - I think so?” Kurt says. “I’ve been trying not to think about it. I mean, when he pulled off the head of that gorilla suit - ”
“He showed up to meet you wearing a gorilla suit?” Blaine asks, unable to keep his horror completely at bay.
Kurt chokes out something resembling a laugh. “I know,” he says, shuffling even closer to Blaine. “I can’t - God. It didn’t seem so bad at the time, but in retrospect... And I, anyway I was - I was - shocked, I guess, and a little horrified. I just, I never, ever expected it. And now that I think about it, the whole thing is - it’s creepy, right?”
“Yeah,” Blaine says quietly. “I think it is.”
“I told him I didn’t think he actually loved me,” Kurt says. “He doesn’t know me, and he’s basically never given me the impression that he cares about my feelings or - or my life. I think he sees me as this - this thing to project on, you know? Because even with this, it sort of seemed like he hoped I’d just jump at the chance to be with him. I keep telling myself that he can’t actually have expected that, what with our history and also, you know, you, but then I - I don’t know.”
“I think I know what you mean,” Blaine says. “I mean, it seems like him. I wouldn’t be surprised if he thought that all he had to do was say the word and you’d be his.” The words taste like bile; he swallows, squeezes Kurt’s hand to distract himself.
“But I’ve never given him any reason to think that,” Kurt says, clearly frustrated. “I feel bad for him, I do, because I know how scared he must always be, and I’ve been trying really hard to be the bigger person, but I just - my instinct is to hate him. Part of me does. I don’t know how he could ever think...”
“It’s okay, Kurt,” Blaine says softly. He switches hands so that he’s reaching across his own lap to hold Kurt’s hand, so that he can rub Kurt’s back. “It’s okay if you hate him. You think part of me isn’t still mad as hell at my old bullies? Or with Sebastian, for that matter?”
“I know,” Kurt says. “It’s just... I thought I’d forgiven him, Blaine. I thought I’d moved on.”
“Hey,” Blaine says, wrapping his arm around Kurt. “You have moved on. He’s not controlling your life, Kurt. To be honest, I think it’s amazing, the way you’ve handled this whole thing.” They look at each other then, and Blaine knows that there’s love and admiration pouring off of him in waves, because Kurt visibly relaxes. “I think you’re amazing, and if you’re worried about whether it’s healthy to still be somewhat affected by him - ”
“Yeah,” Kurt nods. “I think that’s it. I guess it’s okay, right?”
“Of course it is,” Blaine says. “Of course. I’d be worried if you weren’t.”
“It - it’s funny,” Kurt says. “When I was talking to him - I was shocked, obviously, but I don’t think I was as bothered by it as I am now.”
“Like it didn’t seem so bad until you told someone?” Blaine asks softly, and Kurt nods.
“And I - I told him I liked him as a friend, but Blaine, I - now I don’t see how I could possibly be friends with him. I sort of think the most I’d be comfortable with is polite acquaintances.”
“And that’s totally understandable,” Blaine says. “Personally, I don’t think he deserves your friendship. I feel bad for him, too, I mean, God, it seems sort of unhinged, doesn’t it? Why didn’t he realize how creepy and inappropriate this entire thing was?”
Kurt shrugs, then he nuzzles his face into Blaine’s collarbone. Blaine tightens his arms around him, rests his chin on Kurt’s head.
“You probably don’t need me to tell you this, but - you need to put you first, Kurt. If you don’t think you can be his friend, then don’t. You don’t owe him anything.”
“I know,” Kurt says. He lifts his head and looks at Blaine. “Thank you, though. I think I needed to be told it was okay.”
Blaine kisses his forehead. “Anytime,” he says, even though he doesn’t - God, he doesn’t feel like he’s been helpful at all.
“Are you okay?” Kurt asks. “Are you... mad, or...”
Blaine swallows. “A little,” he admits. “Just because - I just think it’s so creepy and I kind of hate his constant disregard for your feelings. And I guess I’m a little worried?” he frowns, not really sure what he’s feeling. “I mostly just want to keep him far away from you.”
“I understand that,” Kurt says quietly.
“And I feel guilty,” Blaine says softly, eyes downcast. “Guilty that I wasn’t with you, and that it wasn’t - I’m sorry it wasn’t me.”
“I’m not,” Kurt says, sharp and sure, and Blaine looks up. Kurt’s so close their noses are touching. “I mean - I am sorry it was Karofsky, but - I don’t need secret admirer gifts. I don’t want a secret admirer. I just want you.”
Blaine’s pretty sure it’s impossible to love another human being more than he loves this boy. “I only want you, too,” he says, almost a whisper, and he kisses Kurt because he can’t not. It’s soft and almost chaste, just their lips moving against each other. Blaine pulls away first, rests his forehead against Kurt’s and closes his eyes. “I love you,” he says.
“I love you, too,” Kurt says, kissing the corner of his mouth. “Come on. We should go back inside, I want to dance with my Valentine.”
He’s grinning as he says it, and as he jumps off the wall and holds his hand out to Blaine. Blaine can’t help grinning back.
-x-
“The slow dancing portion of the night has officially begun,” Sugar declares. “If any depressing single people managed to make their way in here, they need to get off the dance floor!”
Blaine knows that Sugar’s designated this space for rotating New Directions members to cycle through a seemingly endless selection of ballads. He knows because she asked him to perform and he told her he’d be spending the entire time dancing with Kurt.
Mercedes takes the mic from Sugar and the rest of the God Squad join her on an almost heart-breaking medley of Can You Feel The Love Tonight/Tiny Dancer/Your Song. Kurt loops his arms around Blaine’s neck, and Blaine rests his head on Kurt’s shoulder. They sneak occasional kisses, but mostly Blaine just closes his eyes and holds Kurt tight, thinking that this is what they should have had at prom. He wishes he could give Kurt this always.
After almost an hour of ballads, while Mike and Puck have the floor, out of absolutely nowhere, they segue from I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing into Crazy Little Thing Called Love, so apparently the slow songs are over. Blaine serenades Kurt with Rock With You, because it is so much fun and the fact that he didn’t get to during Michael week is an endless source of disappointment to him. Artie ends up singing an amazing mash-up of Sugar We’re Going Down and Sugar How You Get So Fly, much to Sugar’s apparent delight and Rory’s displeasure. Quinn and Sam belt out the most bizarre version of She Drives Me Crazy Blaine’s ever heard - he thinks they both might be a little drunk - and Brittany and Santana sing Fleetwood Mac’s Everywhere to each other and Blaine thinks his heart grows three sizes just seeing Santana so happy.
Eventually, he and Kurt close out the night by leading everyone in a group singalong to Love Is All You Need, and if he’d thought he was pleased by Santana’s happiness, it’s nothing to how what is radiating off of Kurt makes him feel. He wraps himself around Kurt as they sing “All you need is love! Love!” at each other, surrounded by a choir of their friends, and Kurt looks at him with so much love in his eyes and grins, and Blaine knows that Kurt knows what he’s thinking.
Kurt’s probably also judging him on the cheesiness of it, but really. Blaine’s pretty sure they can take fucking anything the world throws at them, because they’re surrounded by so much love.
-x-
kurt/blaine, pg-13, 5500 words
spoilers: 3x13
warnings: discussion of past canon bullying and assault, Mike/Tina heavy (1680 words from Mike's POV), not really Karofsky friendly
summary: missing scenes from Heart. Mike and Tina worry about Kurt, and then Blaine worries.
author’s note: I kind of hate that all I’ve managed to finish lately have been episode reactions. I’m sure parts of this will be jossed next episode, but I mostly just had to fix certain things for myself. Title and cut belong to Elton John.
There are eleven songs played in this fic. They’re in a zip file here, and I would recommend downloading it, because I didn't think the lyrics had a place in the fic, but I feel like this would be more enjoyable if you treated that as a sort of soundtrack.
-x-
To: Blaine
I appreciate the sentiment but dude that gorilla thing was pretty freaky looking
From: Blaine
... Gorilla thing??
Mike frowns at his phone. He’d meant to text Blaine after lunch, but then he’d gotten caught up in Tina, in running through several songs about how much they completely love each other despite Mr Schue’s failed assignment attempt, and the gorilla thing had sort of paled in comparison.
But he’d remembered during last period, and now, two hours later, Blaine’s replied, and - what?
“Uh, Tina,” he says, sitting up and swinging his legs off her bed. She’s sitting cross-legged on her floor, pencil tucked behind her ear as she looks through what he thinks are her History notes, and before he’d gotten Blaine’s text he was considering having an afternoon nap. Now he realizes how completely insane that is - he knows, logically, that they can’t be having sex all the time, or even making out, because they both have homework to do, and anyway they’d decided not to have sex this week, to make it extra special on Valentine’s Day, but - why on Earth he wasn’t just planning on spending the afternoon staring at her, he doesn’t know. She’s so beautiful.
And that doesn’t sound creepy at all.
Tina’s looking at him, eyebrows raised, and Mike realizes he’d said her name and then just sort of gaped at her like a moron, and he shakes his head clear. “Sorry,” he says, sliding to the floor and crawling over to her. “Look at this.” He gives her his phone.
“I thought it was kind of creepy too,” she says, and then clearly reads Blaine’s text, because her brows furrow and she says, “Wait, what?”
“Yeah, I don’t know,” Mike says as she gives him his phone back. “Do you think he’s trying to throw me off? Maybe he thinks I’d tell Kurt.”
Tina frowns. “The secret admirer thing doesn’t really make much sense. I mean, it’s not - it’s not exactly a secret, is it?”
“If it’s even Blaine,” Mike says, twisting up his mouth thoughtfully as he stares at his phone, like it’s going to give him the answer. He almost misses Tina’s look of surprise.
“You don’t think it is?”
Mike shrugs. “Isn’t that what Artie said, at lunch?”
“I guess,” Tina says. She seems confused, and kind of disappointed. Mike feels the same way. “If it’s not Blaine, then who is it? And why isn’t Blaine sending him stuff? I’m pretty sure Kurt said they hadn’t even spoken...”
“I don’t know,” Mike says. He frowns. “I don’t know what I’d do if you ignored me on Valentine’s.”
Tina’s eyes soften. “Aww,” she says, grinning and leaning over to kiss his jaw. He wraps his arms around her and cuddles her to him. “I’d never be able to do that,” she says. “V-Day isn’t til tomorrow, though. He’s still got time.”
He doesn’t end up replying to Blaine’s text; Tina’s worried, she wants to talk to everyone else and see if they know what’s going on before interfering, so they decide to talk to them all after glee tomorrow.
-x-
Artie, Rory, and Sugar are the only ones who end up being able to stick around after glee; everyone else seems to have some sort of drama going on. Mike knows for a fact that the three of them have their own drama, but at least they seem to care. He doesn’t know what’s going on with Mercedes, why she’s not there, but Tina had said Mercedes told her she didn’t know anything, so Mike guesses she wouldn’t have been too helpful anyway.
“I don’t know who else would have a crush on Kurt,” Artie’s saying. “I thought about it, because I don’t get why Blaine would say ‘from’ instead of ‘love’ - ”
“I hadn’t even thought of that,” Tina says. “But I guess you saw the card. That’s a good point.”
“Yeah, I saw the card,” Artie says. “And it didn’t look like Blaine’s handwriting, either.”
Mike cocks his head. He has literally no idea what Blaine’s handwriting looks like.
“You’re over-reacting,” Sugar says loudly and matter-of-factly. “It’s obviously his boyfriend. This is dumb.”
“I hope it’s Blaine,” Tina says. “I just don’t want Kurt to get hurt again. You weren’t here before, you don’t know what it was like.” She bites her lip, clearly upset just remembering it, and Mike reaches out and takes her hand, wishes he could do something more.
“We just don’t want what happened at prom to happen again,” Mike says.
“I wouldn’t put it past the fools at this school,” Artie says, nodding. “Okay. Maybe there are other gay kids we don’t know about. I’ll ask around, put out some feelers.”
“I will too,” Rory says. Mike jerks; he’d almost forgotten Rory was there. Rory seems to take that as surprise, and he says defensively, “I like Kurt. He’s always been nice to me.”
“Well, that’s great!” Sugar says brightly. “So this meeting is over, then?” Tina gives her a blank nod, and she claps her hands. “Great! Artie, Rory, you have to leave now.”
They must be more used to her abrupt nature than Mike is, because they do as she says with barely another word. Sugar strides over and closes the door after them, then she turns and faces him and Tina, an unfamiliar solemn look on her face.
“Sugar, what’s - ” Tina starts, but Sugar silences her.
“This is top secret information,” she says. “Only those of utmost importance, i.e. me, have been told. I’m going to let the two of you in on it, because I think you’ll just keep making trouble otherwise, and I’m not going to let you ruin my party.”
Tina looks just as confused as Mike feels. “What are you talking about?” Tina asks.
Sugar clasps her hands behind her back and looks smug. It’s both oddly endearing and completely infuriating. “Oh, I don’t know,” she says, rocking back and forth on her heels. “Maybe it’s just that I know Blaine’s surprise for Kurt, and it’s not any of this secret admirer nonsense.”
“What?!” Mike says before he can help himself.
“Why do you know?” Tina asks.
“No reason,” she singsongs, then, seeing the unimpressed looks on their faces, her face drops. “Fine,” she says grumpily. “I called Blaine to invite him to my party, and he asked if it was okay if he and Kurt showed up without dates, because obviously they’d be together but he doesn’t want Kurt to know he’s going, and also he wanted to ask if he could have a chunk of performance time so that he could sing to Kurt, which I have graciously given him. He almost lost his eye,” she says, sounding scandalized, as if she thinks they don’t already know. “I felt sorry for him.”
“Okay,” Tina says slowly.
“Uh,” Mike says.
“The secret admirer’s not Blaine because Blaine’s surprising Kurt at my party with a song!” Sugar says impatiently, waving her hands. “Keep up, you guys! Oh my God!”
“Okay,” Tina says again, obviously still recovering from the revelation that Blaine confided in Sugar before either of them. At least, that’s what Mike’s doing.
-x-
“Should we really be interfering?” Mike asks, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. They’re sitting in his car, and Tina’s thumb is hovering over Blaine’s number in her contact list.
“Yes,” Tina says. The look she gives him is almost a glare. “I don’t want Kurt to get hurt, Mike.”
“Neither do I!” Mike says. “It’s just - I usually try to stay out of the drama, and - ”
“They’re our friends,” Tina says. “We can’t just do nothing.”
“No, you’re right,” Mike agrees. It’s just that Tina’s ideas have been getting progressively more dramatic, from driving out to Blaine’s to let him know, to following Kurt to Sugar’s party to make sure everything’s okay. Spying on their friends is not exactly how Mike had imagined their Valentine’s, not that he needs a fairly meaningless holiday to tell Tina how much he loves her, but... “I guess I just don’t really feel comfortable getting so involved.”
She gives him this look, like she’s still annoyed but she’s softening, and she locks her phone and takes his hand. “We can just text Blaine? Just let him know. Maybe we’re over-reacting, maybe it is just him.”
“Maybe,” Mike says, squeezing her hand.
She smiles and starts typing out a text one-handed, and Mike looks at her and thinks. Thinks about how comparatively stable they are next to all the others couples in glee. Thinks about how when he looks at her, he sees forever. About how stupidly lucky he was that she fell in love with him.
“Last Valentine’s, Artie and I were talking about how lucky we were, to be dating two of the raddest girls in school,” Mike says, and Tina looks up at him, clearly surprised. He realizes belatedly that that was a pretty huge non sequitur. “I just,” he says, suddenly a little shy, “I still feel that way. You’re the coolest person I’ve ever met. And, I mean, of course, the most amazing and beautiful and - ”
“Mike,” Tina says, and she’s smiling, that absurdly fond smile that tells him she sees forever with him too.
“I just really love you,” he says, swallowing down the lump in his throat (the ball of feelings that he realizes has been there since Mercedes sang today, just waiting for this moment). She grins and kisses him, tells him that she loves him too, of course, and then she goes back to texting Blaine. He holds her hand and resolves to make sure she has the best Valentine’s ever.
-X-
From: Tina
Hey blaine! This might be nothing, it might be ur doing for all I know, but kurts been getting secret admirer gifts at school, and he thinks its u, so obv he wont have told u. and just in case its NOT u, I thought u should know. Mike and I are kinda worried. Hope we’ll see u at sugars tonight. Xo
Blaine feels sick. His first instinct is to call Kurt, and his thumb has already flicked from his messages to his contacts before he realizes what he’s doing and stops.
He feels guilty. He thinks it’s you. Blaine hadn’t even thought to - God, he’s pretty sure his admiration of Kurt is the least secret thing ever, this sort of thing hadn’t occurred to him. The only contact he’s had with Kurt all day has been through text message - he’s just been texting ‘<3’s to Kurt at random intervals, because he’d thought Kurt might start to suspect his plans for Sugar’s party if he said more.
And he’s worried, mostly because Tina and Mike are.
He kind of hates that their best case scenario here is probably just some random at McKinley having a genuine crush on Kurt. Because why wouldn’t they? Kurt is amazing. Blaine can reason it out, as well, because he and Kurt have been very careful about not touching each other in the halls, and with his absence from school over the last couple weeks - he can see how an outsider might think they’d broken up, or were only ever just good friends to begin with. (The thought twists his stomach, because he’d like to think that their feelings for each other are written all over their faces, but he can also understand ignoring all rational logic in favor of a crush. And Kurt is definitely crushworthy. There’s no doubt in his mind about that.)
It’s the best case scenario because Blaine is one hundred per cent sure that no matter who it is, Kurt’s not going to leave him. So best case scenario, Kurt gets a little ego boost and the knowledge that not everyone at McKinley outside of the glee club are dicks.
But God, there are so many dicks. Blaine just can’t stop thinking about last year’s prom, about all of those people who think it’s funny to play these sort of pranks. He almost says screw it to all of Operation: Surprise Kurt, almost gets in his car and drives to Kurt’s house, his doctor’s instructions against driving be damned.
Sugar’s organised a limo to pick him up, though, and it’s that thought, oddly, that gives him pause. He doesn’t know if he should ruin the night over something that could be nothing.
To: Tina
It’s not me. I’ve got a surprise for him, though, I don’t want to ruin it... What do you think I should do?
From: Tina
The last card might’ve been the end of it. Mike and I are getting to sugars thing early, though, just in case. We can just keep an eye out if you want?
Blaine smiles at ‘keep an eye out’; he’d spent the first few days after his operation annoying Kurt with endless eye-related jokes, loopy on painkillers and high off of his doctor’s all-clear.
To: Tina
That would be so great, if you guys don’t mind ruining your v-day for us. I’m sorry :(
From: Tina
Its really no problem! Dont be sorry blaine! Its not even your fault. Xoxo
Blaine’s had friends before. He’d considered the guys at Dalton good friends, especially. But he’s never had friends so willing to get involved in his life, the way some of the New Directions are. He can see why Kurt was so eager to get back to them, last year; Blaine’s finally starting to feel like there’s a place where he belongs. (A place that’s not just beside Kurt, that is.)
-x-
Tina texts him later to tell him that they’ve met up with Kurt, and that he seems subdued but otherwise okay. Blaine hadn’t even realized how tense he’d been until he isn’t anymore.
-x-
Kurt’s batting away balloons as Love Shack fades out, a massive grin on his face. Tina takes the stage and launches into a Florence and the Machine song, and Blaine pushes Kurt back against one of waist-high walls of the islands. Kurt’s happy grin fades into something more demure, coy, and every day Blaine marvels that this was the boy who didn’t think he was sexy, because really. The hunger in his eyes alone is one of the sexiest things Blaine’s ever seen.
He reaches up and fiddles with Kurt’s tie, loosening it a little just in case he pulled it too tight earlier. Kurt’s hands flutter and finally land on Blaine’s hips, and when Blaine looks up, he sees that Kurt looks slightly out of breath. And Blaine doesn’t think it’s because he just finished singing.
Blaine leans in, close enough to be within kissing distance, and says, “Happy Valentine’s.”
Kurt almost smirks, says, “Happy Valentine’s,” and then he pulls Blaine closer, curling his arms around Blaine’s waist, and Blaine’s not even really sure who kisses whom. His world has zeroed down to Kurt’s mouth sucking on his bottom lip, and his hands slide up from Kurt’s tie to cup his neck and jaw. Blaine sucks at Kurt’s top lip for a moment, enjoying the give-and-take they’ve got going on, before making an unconscious decision that he needs more. He opens his mouth, which makes Kurt do the same, and then his tongue is sliding against Kurt’s and God, Kurt’s tongue. Blaine’s pretty sure he’ll never get enough of it.
The kiss doesn’t last long, or at least, not as long as Blaine wants it to. But they’re in public, and he’s surprised that Kurt succumbed to - initiated? His brain is too fuzzy to work out the logistics - such an intense display of affection in the first place. Blaine’s surprised that he himself did.
He tells himself that they just missed each other, of course, but he runs his thumb along Kurt’s jaw as Kurt opens his eyes, and he can’t help thinking it’s more than that.
“Are you okay?” he asks, trying to convey all of his concern and love and hope and desperation in his voice and his eyes. It’s maybe too much emotion for his stupid body to portray, though; he doesn’t know if Kurt gets it, because he just smiles and fans his fingers out across Blaine’s back.
“I am now that you’re here,” Kurt says, his eyes smiling, and that maybe shouldn’t worry Blaine more but it does - but Sugar’s got the mic and she’s starting his cue and shit, they must have been kissing for longer than he thought. When did Tina finish?! He can’t believe nobody interrupted them, but then, the room is filled with their friends. It’s probably the safest public place they could be in Lima.
“Come on,” Blaine says, pulling away and grabbing Kurt’s hand. Kurt makes his ‘do tell’ face, and Blaine grins. “We’ve got another song, just you and me.” He leads Kurt over to Sugar and takes the microphone she offers him, which - when did they lose theirs?
The opening strains of Donna Lewis’s I Love You Always Forever begin, and Kurt’s face very clearly says ‘Really, Blaine?’ Because this is one of their car songs, it’s a song that Blaine insisted upon until it became one of their car songs, because he was on a nineties kick and it’s so accurate it hurts.
As Blaine sings, the small smile on Kurt’s face widens, and when he runs a hand down Kurt’s chest at “touching, discovering you,” Kurt’s blushing but he’s mouthing along.
The second verse is Blaine’s favourite, not least because of the line about the most unbelievable blue eyes he’s ever seen. He holds Kurt’s hand and croons every line directly to him, disregarding how completely sappy this must seem to everyone else.
Halfway through the verse Sugar pushes another mic into Kurt’s free hand, and then he’s singing along with Blaine. To Blaine. The rest of the song is just the chorus over and over, which is part of why Blaine loves it so much; the re-iteration of “always forever” strikes particularly close to home, despite how trite it may seem.
Blaine looks at Kurt’s flushed, happy face as the song finishes, and he feels terrible about ruining that, but he can’t handle not knowing what happened today any longer. He wants to preserve Kurt’s happiness for as long as possible, but he can’t stop thinking about “now that you’re here” and he’ll be stewing over what that means all night if they don’t talk. Besides, even if talking about it brings Kurt down from his performance high (from singing in front of their friends, from singing with Blaine, which sends tingles of joy up Blaine’s spine despite everything), Blaine thinks he can fix it. He hopes he can. Or that, more likely, they can fix it together.
So he grabs Kurt’s hand and pulls him away from their friends. He thinks about finding a corner of Breadstix furthest from the stereos, but it doesn’t look like that’s possible - its transformation into the Sugar Shack seems to have taken with it all opportunities for quiet, private conversation. So, ignoring Kurt’s raised eyebrows, Blaine drags him outside.
Kurt looks confused but he’s smiling, happiness radiating off of him, and Blaine is still floored by the knowledge that he can do that to another person, especially since that person is Kurt.
“Hi,” Kurt says, and Blaine almost laughs when he realizes they haven’t even said hello yet.
“Hi,” he echoes, pulling Kurt into a hug. “Sorry I kind of shut you out today. I didn’t trust myself not to blow the surprise.”
He hopes Kurt will take that as an invitation to talk about the secret admirer stuff, but he just giggles into Blaine’s shoulder and says, “I really didn’t think I’d get to see you today.”
Blaine smiles and kisses the side of Kurt’s head. “I’ll be back at school by Friday,” he says. “I convinced my parents that tonight would be a good practice run.” He pulls away from Kurt, then, holds him at arms length so he can see Kurt’s eyes. The fact that Kurt hasn’t brought up the secret admirer is making him worry more than he should, he thinks. He swallows. “Kurt,” he says, and Kurt tilts his head. He can obviously tell something’s wrong; the smile slips off his face. “C’mere,” he says. The front of Breadstix is lined with gardens, waist-high just like the ones inside, and Blaine hops up to sit on the wall, gesturing for Kurt to join him.
Kurt gives him a measured look, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. “I better not get my pants dirty, Blaine Anderson,” he says, and then he lets Blaine help him up. Once he’s settled on the totally not dirty wall, Blaine twines their fingers together and Kurt gives him a nervous smile. “What’s going on?”
Blaine tightens his grip on Kurt’s fingers, trying to reassure him, then he steadies himself and takes the plunge. “Um,” he says. “Tina and Mike told me about your secret admirer.”
“Oh,” Kurt breathes. He looks surprised, like he hadn’t thought Blaine would know about that. “I’d almost managed to forget.” … Or like he’d forgotten. What?
“What happened, Kurt?” he asks, unsure of whether he should be shooting for supportive, or worried, or, God, terrified. He settles for rubbing circles over Kurt’s hand with his thumb, and then Kurt starts explaining the valentines, and Blaine’s heart makes the decision for him, tightening with concern.
“Oh my God,” Kurt says, like something’s just occurred to him. “I - he knew my schedule.” He sounds kind of horrified, and he looks shaken, and dread creeps over Blaine. He’s sure, now, that this isn’t just going to be someone with a harmless crush.
“Kurt,” he says, his voice more strangled than he’d expected. “Who was it?”
Kurt looks at him, and Blaine suddenly gets the impression that Kurt doesn’t want to tell him. But then he closes his eyes, and swallows, and says, “Karofsky.”
It hits Blaine like a freight train. He’s taken back to fifteen months ago, to the quiet, scared, small voice of a boy he barely knew on the phone saying, “He kissed me,” and how Blaine’s stomach had clenched with something that he’d decided was concern. He remembers with a sudden intensity how horrible those weeks were; Kurt, crying in Blaine’s car before they saw a movie because Karofsky had threatened to kill him and Kurt didn’t know what to do, nobody seemed to care. Blaine remembers the fear in the back of his mind every day, every time his phone lit up with Kurt’s name, that today would be it, that this monster would put Kurt in hospital or worse and there was nothing Blaine could do about it. He remembers Kurt’s concern for his father’s health, his guilt over his transfer.
The idea that the cause of all of that was a crush Karofsky didn’t know how to deal with makes Blaine feel physically ill. It’s unfair, he thinks, that Karofsky will be able to justify it with that. He remembers what Kurt had told him about their conversation at Scandals, remembers thinking that it sounded like Karofsky was re-writing history with himself as the victim. Blaine won’t put it past him to blame his actions on a crush.
He swallows down all of his feelings, though, because Kurt’s are obviously more important. “Are you okay?”
“I - I think so?” Kurt says. “I’ve been trying not to think about it. I mean, when he pulled off the head of that gorilla suit - ”
“He showed up to meet you wearing a gorilla suit?” Blaine asks, unable to keep his horror completely at bay.
Kurt chokes out something resembling a laugh. “I know,” he says, shuffling even closer to Blaine. “I can’t - God. It didn’t seem so bad at the time, but in retrospect... And I, anyway I was - I was - shocked, I guess, and a little horrified. I just, I never, ever expected it. And now that I think about it, the whole thing is - it’s creepy, right?”
“Yeah,” Blaine says quietly. “I think it is.”
“I told him I didn’t think he actually loved me,” Kurt says. “He doesn’t know me, and he’s basically never given me the impression that he cares about my feelings or - or my life. I think he sees me as this - this thing to project on, you know? Because even with this, it sort of seemed like he hoped I’d just jump at the chance to be with him. I keep telling myself that he can’t actually have expected that, what with our history and also, you know, you, but then I - I don’t know.”
“I think I know what you mean,” Blaine says. “I mean, it seems like him. I wouldn’t be surprised if he thought that all he had to do was say the word and you’d be his.” The words taste like bile; he swallows, squeezes Kurt’s hand to distract himself.
“But I’ve never given him any reason to think that,” Kurt says, clearly frustrated. “I feel bad for him, I do, because I know how scared he must always be, and I’ve been trying really hard to be the bigger person, but I just - my instinct is to hate him. Part of me does. I don’t know how he could ever think...”
“It’s okay, Kurt,” Blaine says softly. He switches hands so that he’s reaching across his own lap to hold Kurt’s hand, so that he can rub Kurt’s back. “It’s okay if you hate him. You think part of me isn’t still mad as hell at my old bullies? Or with Sebastian, for that matter?”
“I know,” Kurt says. “It’s just... I thought I’d forgiven him, Blaine. I thought I’d moved on.”
“Hey,” Blaine says, wrapping his arm around Kurt. “You have moved on. He’s not controlling your life, Kurt. To be honest, I think it’s amazing, the way you’ve handled this whole thing.” They look at each other then, and Blaine knows that there’s love and admiration pouring off of him in waves, because Kurt visibly relaxes. “I think you’re amazing, and if you’re worried about whether it’s healthy to still be somewhat affected by him - ”
“Yeah,” Kurt nods. “I think that’s it. I guess it’s okay, right?”
“Of course it is,” Blaine says. “Of course. I’d be worried if you weren’t.”
“It - it’s funny,” Kurt says. “When I was talking to him - I was shocked, obviously, but I don’t think I was as bothered by it as I am now.”
“Like it didn’t seem so bad until you told someone?” Blaine asks softly, and Kurt nods.
“And I - I told him I liked him as a friend, but Blaine, I - now I don’t see how I could possibly be friends with him. I sort of think the most I’d be comfortable with is polite acquaintances.”
“And that’s totally understandable,” Blaine says. “Personally, I don’t think he deserves your friendship. I feel bad for him, too, I mean, God, it seems sort of unhinged, doesn’t it? Why didn’t he realize how creepy and inappropriate this entire thing was?”
Kurt shrugs, then he nuzzles his face into Blaine’s collarbone. Blaine tightens his arms around him, rests his chin on Kurt’s head.
“You probably don’t need me to tell you this, but - you need to put you first, Kurt. If you don’t think you can be his friend, then don’t. You don’t owe him anything.”
“I know,” Kurt says. He lifts his head and looks at Blaine. “Thank you, though. I think I needed to be told it was okay.”
Blaine kisses his forehead. “Anytime,” he says, even though he doesn’t - God, he doesn’t feel like he’s been helpful at all.
“Are you okay?” Kurt asks. “Are you... mad, or...”
Blaine swallows. “A little,” he admits. “Just because - I just think it’s so creepy and I kind of hate his constant disregard for your feelings. And I guess I’m a little worried?” he frowns, not really sure what he’s feeling. “I mostly just want to keep him far away from you.”
“I understand that,” Kurt says quietly.
“And I feel guilty,” Blaine says softly, eyes downcast. “Guilty that I wasn’t with you, and that it wasn’t - I’m sorry it wasn’t me.”
“I’m not,” Kurt says, sharp and sure, and Blaine looks up. Kurt’s so close their noses are touching. “I mean - I am sorry it was Karofsky, but - I don’t need secret admirer gifts. I don’t want a secret admirer. I just want you.”
Blaine’s pretty sure it’s impossible to love another human being more than he loves this boy. “I only want you, too,” he says, almost a whisper, and he kisses Kurt because he can’t not. It’s soft and almost chaste, just their lips moving against each other. Blaine pulls away first, rests his forehead against Kurt’s and closes his eyes. “I love you,” he says.
“I love you, too,” Kurt says, kissing the corner of his mouth. “Come on. We should go back inside, I want to dance with my Valentine.”
He’s grinning as he says it, and as he jumps off the wall and holds his hand out to Blaine. Blaine can’t help grinning back.
-x-
“The slow dancing portion of the night has officially begun,” Sugar declares. “If any depressing single people managed to make their way in here, they need to get off the dance floor!”
Blaine knows that Sugar’s designated this space for rotating New Directions members to cycle through a seemingly endless selection of ballads. He knows because she asked him to perform and he told her he’d be spending the entire time dancing with Kurt.
Mercedes takes the mic from Sugar and the rest of the God Squad join her on an almost heart-breaking medley of Can You Feel The Love Tonight/Tiny Dancer/Your Song. Kurt loops his arms around Blaine’s neck, and Blaine rests his head on Kurt’s shoulder. They sneak occasional kisses, but mostly Blaine just closes his eyes and holds Kurt tight, thinking that this is what they should have had at prom. He wishes he could give Kurt this always.
After almost an hour of ballads, while Mike and Puck have the floor, out of absolutely nowhere, they segue from I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing into Crazy Little Thing Called Love, so apparently the slow songs are over. Blaine serenades Kurt with Rock With You, because it is so much fun and the fact that he didn’t get to during Michael week is an endless source of disappointment to him. Artie ends up singing an amazing mash-up of Sugar We’re Going Down and Sugar How You Get So Fly, much to Sugar’s apparent delight and Rory’s displeasure. Quinn and Sam belt out the most bizarre version of She Drives Me Crazy Blaine’s ever heard - he thinks they both might be a little drunk - and Brittany and Santana sing Fleetwood Mac’s Everywhere to each other and Blaine thinks his heart grows three sizes just seeing Santana so happy.
Eventually, he and Kurt close out the night by leading everyone in a group singalong to Love Is All You Need, and if he’d thought he was pleased by Santana’s happiness, it’s nothing to how what is radiating off of Kurt makes him feel. He wraps himself around Kurt as they sing “All you need is love! Love!” at each other, surrounded by a choir of their friends, and Kurt looks at him with so much love in his eyes and grins, and Blaine knows that Kurt knows what he’s thinking.
Kurt’s probably also judging him on the cheesiness of it, but really. Blaine’s pretty sure they can take fucking anything the world throws at them, because they’re surrounded by so much love.
-x-