Don't Let DBSK Celebrate Valentine's Day- Junsu.
A Fairytale, as Told by Junsu
Okay, so for Valentine’s Day I decided to write a romantical fairytale story for you, Chunnie. You know, because you told me that one time that I talk so much I should write down my thoughts before I say them so I don’t talk someone’s ear off. Or something like that. I can’t really remember because you said something in English in the middle that sounded like *&$#^$^& (yeah, just like that!) and I’m trying really hard to learn but… I have a limited vocabulary memory space, Chun! Two languages is hard enough X.X You’re so mean >=[
Oh, wait. Where was I? Hehe, just kidding- you’re not mean. I love you more than the bountiful selection of tight designer jeans in the women’s section at the mall- yes, Chunnie. I mean that. With all of my heart. Would Jaejoong say the same for Yunho? No, he wouldn’t. Probably because he could come up with a better love metaphor than I ever could, but it’s that limited vocabulary thing again. LOVE YOU!
I feel like I’m writing your eyes out instead of talking your ears off. Does that make sense?
My hands hurt already. Maybe I’ll take a break… wait, no! NO! I will get through this for you, my manly king of kings; the chi to my kim (of course, I have to be the Kim if you think about it!); the fan to my girl; the bi to my cycle; the Tigger to my Pooh; the Food to my Min… okay, hang on a sec. I’m doing that rambling thing again. Lemme go do something to distract myself for a bit until I can think straight again. I can’t make promises, though.
……
Okay, so I was just writing about Minnie and then I went into the kitchen and ended up wrestling him to get the last of the chocolate syrup to make chocolate milk and I won! Am I cool or what?
0.0
WHY AM I TALKING ABOUT CHANGMIN?! THIS IS FOR YOU, MY SNUGGLE KITTEN!
No, wait. That’s what you call me. Um- I MUST STOP THIS!
Okay, okay, okay.
Okay.
TIME FOR MY STORY!!
Susurella
Once upon a time, there was a beautiful man dolphin prince princess that lived in the ocean with her two evil stepsisters. Her name was, uh… Susurella. Yeah, that’s it. Susurella! And she also happened to be related to the only king of this fanciful underwater kingdom, but he died a long time ago and she was left to live with her step-dolphin mother Jae… uh, Jaejoongasita. And her two step-dolphin sisters were named Yun…ita and Mina! Yunita looked a little too manly to be a girl dolphin, but sometimes genetics just doesn’t work out right and gender flukes happen. Like Jaejoong. Am I right?
Susurella had a feeling Mina was bulimic or something, cuz dolphins couldn’t eat twelve pounds of fish in one sitting and still want more- but it wasn’t her place to question that. And why wasn’t it her place to question that, you ask? Why, because the evil Jaejoongasita made sure Susurella was always put last before her sisters. When they went out to play in the kelp and explore those fun wrecked ships and frolic with the muscular, older town jocks- I mean, sharks- gosh they were dreamy… did I just say a fish was dreamy? Are sharks fish?
… Anyway. Susurella wasn’t allowed to have fun. Jaejoongasita made the poor little dolphin princess clean and cook and do all sorts of things a dolphin princess shouldn’t have to do. And it wasn’t that that bothered her the most- Jaejoongasita was so good at cooking but what did she always do instead? Shower Yunita with so much love and affection it almost made Susurella question the parent-child relationship status and…
0.0
Wait.
OKAY. Susurella was mistreated by her step-dolphin mother, didn’t have fun, didn’t do princess-like things, and her step-dolphin sisters were bad because I say so.
So, anyway- one day Susurella managed to escape from cleaning for Jaejoongasita for once and swam into a Cave of Thinger-y Things (there was a sign that said “Welcome to the Cave of Thinger-y Things,” in case you were confused how she knew the name), and in there she witnessed the strangest collection of items she had ever seen in her life.
A yellow fish with blue stripes named Flounder… er… Floundphin (again, he was wearing a name tag, so Susurella knew his name) swam up to her and told her that the whimsical things around her came from above the water- and who even knew there was a whole other world up there?! It was shocking to say the least. And then the little fishy started to tell Susurella that the Cave of Thinger-y Things belonged to a hardworking local dolphin girl with fiery red hair named Arie- I mean, Dolphinel.
And then Susurella thought that the cute little yellow fish with blue stripes named Floundphin would make a great gift for Jaejoongasita, who would surely do unspeakable things to her if she came home without dinner for that night after she disappeared for such a long time. So she smacked the little fishy on the head and stuffed it into her dolphin shoulder bag- I mean, fin bag- for later. Can dolphins wear, like, purses? Or is their skin too slippery…? Do dolphins have skin? Or is it-
Oh, my God. The story.
Continuing!! ^^
But Susurella would never forget that Cave of Thinger-y Things.
A couple of days later Susurella tried going to the surface and let out a beautiful cry into the air, screaming “OH MY GOD, SUN!” at the sight before her; but to her dismay she couldn’t breathe there without gasping and coughing and flipping up and down like that little fish she had brought home for dinner the other night, so she decided it wasn’t a good idea to stay there or she might stop moving like that cute little fish had, too.
But her dolphin nose bumped into something floating on the waves- it was rubbery looking and long, and not too long after finding it she discovered a piece of wrapping that said something like “Trojan With Extra Lubrication and Ribbing- For Her Pleasure,” and even though she didn’t know what it was she squealed like: “EU KYAN KYANG!” at the thought that she had something from the world above the surface!
(...CONDOMS!! =D)
Many moons later she found herself coming closer and closer to shore where she knew a castle was. She called it a castle because somewhere deep inside of herself that word sounded right even though she didn’t know why. Do dolphins speak? I mean, do they have lips? I hope they do; how can they whistle without lips? Whistling is so much fun!! And every night Susurella would watch a handsome pig prince- again, she called him that because the word just fit- that was named Mickchun. (Not to be confused with Nickhun; I promise I’m not writing this for him, Chunnie!)
Anyway, Susurella desperately wanted to meet this pig prince, because he was perfect for her. Because he was sexy and cute and his voice made her quiver and I’m not talking about pigs anymore that little curly tail was to die for.
So she met with the local witch, Heechul- no, I’m not changing his name, it’s appropriate- who told her he would change her into a piggy just like Mickchun if she sang a sing-along with all the other animals of the ocean about living under the sea or something like that and Susurella really didn’t want to do it because she thought it was stupid so she decided to fight Heechul.
And then… then…
-.-
And! And long story short: Susurella won after Mickchun sang a high note into Heechul’s face (he had such a sexy voice, did I mention that? Mickchun I mean, not Heechul- he’s such a grumpy woman person T__T) and made the witch explode from the pitch THAT RHYMES! but not before the witch turned Susurella into a piggy but it was a BOY piggy because Heechul knew that that totally wasn’t what Susurella had in mind but really it worked out because she found out in the end that Mickchun liked boy piggies more than girl piggies, anyway.
(0.o That… was one complete sentence…)
And then one day after they had become an official item, Susurella showed Mickchun her prized possession that she found that one fateful day on the ocean top- her special “Trojan” rubber thing, whatever that was- and from then on Mickchun promised he would show Susurella how to use it properly.
And then they got married and they lived happily ever after! :D
THE END!
=D I’m soooooooo sorry I rushed it at the end, Chunnie, but I couldn’t help it- I wanted us- I mean, Susurella and Mickchun- to hook up so bad I just had to get to the good part!
I put so much effort into this that I think my head is going to explode 0.0
……
No, wait. It was just a sneeze. I’m fine.
So I just wanted to say HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY, PARK YOOCHUN! You’re my one and only, forever and ever!
And I know it was really hard to tell but the dolphin was me and the pig prince was you. And the evil step-dolphin mom was Jaejoong and the sisters were Yunho and Changmin. I did such a good job at disguising who they were, huh? I took inspiration from that mermaid movie you showed me a couple of months ago- you know, the one made by that Disney guy or something? The one who created your namesake? I bet you couldn’t even tell, could you??!!!! Omo, I should be a writer! THIS WAS SO MUCH FUN!
I have to go now, because you just told me that you wanted to sing me a song you wrote for me- I’m so excited! Haha, guess what? I’m watching you right now! You’re telling me to put away my journal but I think it’s cool that I can write down what you’re saying as you say it: “Junsu, put that down- Susu, come on, I don’t want to have to blindfold you like all those other times- where are the tranquilizers? Damnit, did Jaejoong use them all again? BABY! Please stop writing! This song is VERY important and I need you to listen- oh God, why? Don’t give me that look! I MUST SERENADE YOU~!”
HAHAHA! This is funny!
But I’ll go now cuz you look like you reaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllllllly want to sing this song to me. So I’ll go now. Right now. Because I love you so much.
More than the air I breathe.
~Su!phin~
P.S.: Liked that last line? Yeah, making use of our own song lyrics- gosh, I’m such a genius! <3
P.P.S.: CONDOMS!! =D
A/N: Bet you all wanna know what that song is, huh? Well you have to wait a little longer- YUNHO'S IS NEXT! ^^ On another note... I LOVE WRITING JUNSU. He is way... 0.0... WAY too innocent for Valentine's Day, dontcha think? ;D
I was pleasantly suprised by all the comments I got last time =D
I LOVE YOU ALL!
I really appreciate your support!
<3
Next Valentine: Yunho’s Plans…