Where is yur faith?
Totally unrelated- James this would make a FABULOUS icon- Voldie and Dumby? Imagine the words that could be flashing across the screen... oh the possibilities!
Second, we had a fun weekend with old friends. It was great reconnecting. I found myself going on and on again about natural childbirth to the point that I got into a heated debate with my friend Tomii, and even had another friend (who's father is a pastor) shoot me down for letting my faith in God lead how I give birth.
These (my dear friends who were part of this conversation and are reading this) made me think a lot, but in the end pushed me to believe more that where I am going is the right path for ME.
If my talks on God bore you, jump ship now. If not, then let's crack on and see where this leads me, because I don't even know exactly where it is that I'm going.
First of all, this is important to me because I had Zach so recently and this is all fresh in my mind and I'm less likely to temper anything I say because of that. I will not apologize for that and beg you give me a bit more time and I will go back to normal. Right now, this is part of my natural healing process. If it hurts you in any way, then do let me know and I'll try to make amends, but if it just annoys you, then I'd appreciate you trying to ignore me for a bit. I want only for everyone to be educated and informed. When it comes to the end of it, if you want a planned c/section and you know all the risks to you and the baby then okay- that's your call, it's your life to live, not mine.
So to begin. We died in the past, at much greater rates, due to disease and illness. Modern medical sciences (and common sense when it comes to hand washing) have lead to a longer life span, and cures for many common illnesses and maladies.
I state categorically that being pregnant and having a baby is not (for most people) an illness or a malady. I don't think that babies were intended as a creative way to kill us, either (at least before they're teenagers). God intended for our children to be a gift, not something that will kill most of us. It seems to me that the way modern medicine treats every pregnancy is the pregnancy is a life threatening disease that with proper management will not kill the woman, when in fact, only about 15 in 100,000 women die in child birth in America (reference). This goes against what I believe. YES child birth can kill me! Is it likely? No. It's not likely at all. Am I (personally) willing to make another birth a traumatic, dangerous and possibly life threatening situation by being in a hospital again? No. My experience of hospital births are that THEY are life threatening- not the birth itself.
I don't know why Zach died. I have no clue and I doubt I will know until I'm in heaven and I'm okay with that. I don't need an answer, because I have faith that there is a reason, that God has it in His control and there is a plan. If I were to die at home giving birth, then the odds are that I would have died in the hospital too because the death rates are comparable (reference). In a study of low risk women done in America and Canada, the same was found, that the death rates for home birth were comparable for babies and no mothers died (it was a small study, only involving 5500 women) (reference). What was also found is that the rates of intervention for the 12% who did transfer to hospitals, had fewer interventions than those who had planned hospital births. So I'll take those odds, as the indications are that they are the same, in and out of hospitals.
As for a baby's death- the death rate was at 6.87 deaths per 1,000 births in 2005 (reference pg.66) and the Netherlands did a large study which concluded that they're higher death rate was no influenced by the fact that 30% of their women deliver at home. The same number of babies died in home births as in hospital births (in low-risk situations).
If I felt like I should deliver in a hospital, I would. I have fantastic instincts and they don't fail me very often- when they do, I wasn't listening properly. I go where God leads me and I follow my heart and my heart says "stay away from interventions" because this is NOT how God intended for us to give birth. My faith is that if I put my trust in God (provided there are no indicators otherwise that something might be wrong like a placenta previa) then it will be okay. If it's not, then it's not. I've dealt with that already and we can't prove I am not the reason that Zach died. Certainly the only way that I could guarantee Zach a dignified birth was to have him at home. In a hospital, even in a Catholic, conservative, hospital a D&C was being pushed on me, and his tiny body would have been ripped to pieces. It's horrible and cruel that a doctor, who should have been better because she works with home birth midwives, would try to scare me into a D&C while admitting flat out that she was worried about being sued.
Anyway, as the numbers indicate that a new baby would have just as safe of a birth as in a hospital as at home, and I am 10 minutes from several hospitals with NICUs and less than 20 minutes from Johns Hopkins and I live less than 2 miles from the nearest paramedics, I see no problem in my choice to deliver at home and put my life and my (hopefully) future baby's lives in God's hands. I don't, in fact, see any problem with this at all. If I lived 100 miles from the nearest hospital then I think it would be unwise to deliver at home (or at least at MY home- maybe a hotel, though).
Because quite frankly, my life is in better hands when they're in God's hands than in a doctor's. That may mean that it's my time to go, but if it's my time, no doctor will be able to stop that, because despite the major god complex that many doctors have, they are not, in fact, God.
THAT is where my faith is. If you're not good with that, if you think I'm foolish, if you are now ready to call the loony bin on me, I don't care. I'm not ashamed of this, and I have the utmost calm over it. This is, for now, where my instincts (where God, if you will) are leading me. God didn't let me down with having Zach, so I'm not going to betray His support when I needed it, by turning my back on Him and putting my faith elsewhere.
Like I said, very passionate. This is my life, my choice, I've done my homework, and you have a quick link to it yourself now, and I believe that God didn't design us to be a lemon when it comes to childbirth.
Everything can cause death; driving a car, drinking too much water, eating too much, walking down a street, smoking. Pretty much anything can lead to a death and I don't play the "what if" games. Something bad might have happened to Luke if he'd been born at home, that's very possible and I might have said "oh if only I'd been in a hospital, he'd have been okay" well no, because what I know is that because I was in a hospital, I nearly died- I was nearly one of those 15 per 100,000 women and that CAUSE of death could ONLY have happened at the hospital because we don't keep an anesthesiologist in our medicine cabinet. There is no "what if" if you want to lead a sane life because you can't ever know what would have happened and I am (THANKFULLY) living proof that stupidity and random accidents can and do kill women in hospitals in ways that can only happen in a hospital.
If you still feel safer being in a hospital, then you're likely to do better in a hospital in giving birth because birth is a mental game as much as a physical. My mentality is that God will get me through this next time and I'll do a better job of taking care of myself so my BP doesn't go up.
As I said to a friend of mine this weekend (who had stalled in labor with her child and ended up with pictocin) "Can you poop away from home?" Gross, right? Relevant. I can't and neither could she. TMI maybe, but I can't do it. The same muscles that control your rectum also control the dilation of the cervix, which is how you get to that magic number of 10cm.
If you can poop anywhere, then hospital births could be okay for you. As for me, uhm... I'd rather just do that in the privacy of my own home, thanks.
Second, we had a fun weekend with old friends. It was great reconnecting. I found myself going on and on again about natural childbirth to the point that I got into a heated debate with my friend Tomii, and even had another friend (who's father is a pastor) shoot me down for letting my faith in God lead how I give birth.
These (my dear friends who were part of this conversation and are reading this) made me think a lot, but in the end pushed me to believe more that where I am going is the right path for ME.
If my talks on God bore you, jump ship now. If not, then let's crack on and see where this leads me, because I don't even know exactly where it is that I'm going.
First of all, this is important to me because I had Zach so recently and this is all fresh in my mind and I'm less likely to temper anything I say because of that. I will not apologize for that and beg you give me a bit more time and I will go back to normal. Right now, this is part of my natural healing process. If it hurts you in any way, then do let me know and I'll try to make amends, but if it just annoys you, then I'd appreciate you trying to ignore me for a bit. I want only for everyone to be educated and informed. When it comes to the end of it, if you want a planned c/section and you know all the risks to you and the baby then okay- that's your call, it's your life to live, not mine.
So to begin. We died in the past, at much greater rates, due to disease and illness. Modern medical sciences (and common sense when it comes to hand washing) have lead to a longer life span, and cures for many common illnesses and maladies.
I state categorically that being pregnant and having a baby is not (for most people) an illness or a malady. I don't think that babies were intended as a creative way to kill us, either (at least before they're teenagers). God intended for our children to be a gift, not something that will kill most of us. It seems to me that the way modern medicine treats every pregnancy is the pregnancy is a life threatening disease that with proper management will not kill the woman, when in fact, only about 15 in 100,000 women die in child birth in America (reference). This goes against what I believe. YES child birth can kill me! Is it likely? No. It's not likely at all. Am I (personally) willing to make another birth a traumatic, dangerous and possibly life threatening situation by being in a hospital again? No. My experience of hospital births are that THEY are life threatening- not the birth itself.
I don't know why Zach died. I have no clue and I doubt I will know until I'm in heaven and I'm okay with that. I don't need an answer, because I have faith that there is a reason, that God has it in His control and there is a plan. If I were to die at home giving birth, then the odds are that I would have died in the hospital too because the death rates are comparable (reference). In a study of low risk women done in America and Canada, the same was found, that the death rates for home birth were comparable for babies and no mothers died (it was a small study, only involving 5500 women) (reference). What was also found is that the rates of intervention for the 12% who did transfer to hospitals, had fewer interventions than those who had planned hospital births. So I'll take those odds, as the indications are that they are the same, in and out of hospitals.
As for a baby's death- the death rate was at 6.87 deaths per 1,000 births in 2005 (reference pg.66) and the Netherlands did a large study which concluded that they're higher death rate was no influenced by the fact that 30% of their women deliver at home. The same number of babies died in home births as in hospital births (in low-risk situations).
If I felt like I should deliver in a hospital, I would. I have fantastic instincts and they don't fail me very often- when they do, I wasn't listening properly. I go where God leads me and I follow my heart and my heart says "stay away from interventions" because this is NOT how God intended for us to give birth. My faith is that if I put my trust in God (provided there are no indicators otherwise that something might be wrong like a placenta previa) then it will be okay. If it's not, then it's not. I've dealt with that already and we can't prove I am not the reason that Zach died. Certainly the only way that I could guarantee Zach a dignified birth was to have him at home. In a hospital, even in a Catholic, conservative, hospital a D&C was being pushed on me, and his tiny body would have been ripped to pieces. It's horrible and cruel that a doctor, who should have been better because she works with home birth midwives, would try to scare me into a D&C while admitting flat out that she was worried about being sued.
Anyway, as the numbers indicate that a new baby would have just as safe of a birth as in a hospital as at home, and I am 10 minutes from several hospitals with NICUs and less than 20 minutes from Johns Hopkins and I live less than 2 miles from the nearest paramedics, I see no problem in my choice to deliver at home and put my life and my (hopefully) future baby's lives in God's hands. I don't, in fact, see any problem with this at all. If I lived 100 miles from the nearest hospital then I think it would be unwise to deliver at home (or at least at MY home- maybe a hotel, though).
Because quite frankly, my life is in better hands when they're in God's hands than in a doctor's. That may mean that it's my time to go, but if it's my time, no doctor will be able to stop that, because despite the major god complex that many doctors have, they are not, in fact, God.
THAT is where my faith is. If you're not good with that, if you think I'm foolish, if you are now ready to call the loony bin on me, I don't care. I'm not ashamed of this, and I have the utmost calm over it. This is, for now, where my instincts (where God, if you will) are leading me. God didn't let me down with having Zach, so I'm not going to betray His support when I needed it, by turning my back on Him and putting my faith elsewhere.
Like I said, very passionate. This is my life, my choice, I've done my homework, and you have a quick link to it yourself now, and I believe that God didn't design us to be a lemon when it comes to childbirth.
Everything can cause death; driving a car, drinking too much water, eating too much, walking down a street, smoking. Pretty much anything can lead to a death and I don't play the "what if" games. Something bad might have happened to Luke if he'd been born at home, that's very possible and I might have said "oh if only I'd been in a hospital, he'd have been okay" well no, because what I know is that because I was in a hospital, I nearly died- I was nearly one of those 15 per 100,000 women and that CAUSE of death could ONLY have happened at the hospital because we don't keep an anesthesiologist in our medicine cabinet. There is no "what if" if you want to lead a sane life because you can't ever know what would have happened and I am (THANKFULLY) living proof that stupidity and random accidents can and do kill women in hospitals in ways that can only happen in a hospital.
If you still feel safer being in a hospital, then you're likely to do better in a hospital in giving birth because birth is a mental game as much as a physical. My mentality is that God will get me through this next time and I'll do a better job of taking care of myself so my BP doesn't go up.
As I said to a friend of mine this weekend (who had stalled in labor with her child and ended up with pictocin) "Can you poop away from home?" Gross, right? Relevant. I can't and neither could she. TMI maybe, but I can't do it. The same muscles that control your rectum also control the dilation of the cervix, which is how you get to that magic number of 10cm.
If you can poop anywhere, then hospital births could be okay for you. As for me, uhm... I'd rather just do that in the privacy of my own home, thanks.