Appropriated Bodies
Some days I seem to teem with so many thoughts. Others, however, feel barren, empty, thoughtless. Our society is defined so strongly by consumerism that this isn't necessarily surprising, but all the same it took me a while to realize exactly how my life was being influenced by this greater system. Every day I'm constantly surrounded by things to consume and take in; there's no time to have an opinion, no time to think, no time to analyze. Not when your every moment is consumed with the process of consumption--the consumption of media, information, and materials. I have felt this reality acutely since my junior year of high school. And while college is, in so many ways, better than high school, this aspect of it hasn't changed. I am still expected to consume more information than seems possible. I am still expected to have profound thoughts about this information. When you really think about it, it's a herculean feat that's expected of us. Just today I complained about this when I looked at my Queer Zines syllabus and saw that we were expected to read an entire book, on top of another good 40-50 pages. This added to my other 80 pages of reading for another class and I'm swimming in text. Up to my eyeballs in information. God, how do people breathe? How do they do it? In order to cope, to make it possible, I have to ration my time and be as efficient as possible. My whole day centers around getting this stuff done. There's no time to think about the future, read the news, or even fold some damn paper cranes. There's no time to be me. I feel like a casket of information. I feel like my body has been appropriated. I'm just a holding center for other people's thoughts, no room for my own. Is this what our education is for now? What about fostering creativity? What about encouraging independent expression? This, whatever this is, is stifling.