male/male male/female female/female
apparently some greek philsopher had decided that there were three types of people. male/male male/female and female/female ... now of course we decided that God or nature has split us in two instead of in three and there is only male and female. This philospher had said that we are all looking for our other half. Until then we are not complete.
This makes sense to me. I don't feel complete.
As usuall i have been spending a lot of time reading and thinking. It's far too hot to do anything else.
Yesterday I was told that my ways of thinking are lethargic. The difference between us was that i want to be in the audience, he wants to be center stage. But he says i am on stage.. i am just in the background.
If this world were a play. I wouldn't be on stage. I wouldn't be apart of the play, but beyond the play. I would be apart of the audience. And as people struggle to make themselves heard and seen i would smile, and no one would see me smile... the light does not shine on the audience.
I don't want that sort of attention.
I want to be apart of the crowed that sits silently watching and listening, unseen.
I don't know why i am talking about all of this. It just sort of came to me.
There would be no play if there were no audience.
I wonder what all of this really means.
I think lately i have been coming down with something. I feel faint and i feel like all the energy has been drained out of me. I feel dizzy a lot and my stomache aches.
It's probably just the heat.
That's it.
I am on top of a mountain sitting on the balcony of an apartment on the 12th floor. I feel like i see everything from up here. I see children running around. I see the houses of the poor and the rich. I hear people yelling and laughing and i wonder... how many people am i really looking at. How many of those people are looking back at me? How many people have layed their eyes on me. What have they thought. I am not really invisible after all, everyone can see me. Does anyone want to? When they look at me do they continue looking around or do they stop and stare and think "hey, there is something about that girl".
It's all too much.
I have been a lot more paranoid than usual. The things i have gotten over in the past or forgiven are coming back to me and i'm wondering why i ever let these things go in the first place. But that's ok. Time stops for noone, but it isn't even real.. it's just a concept, a theory. The World keeps rotating on it's axis and when i am really lonely i feel like i can hear it, feel it. I know in a sense i can see it..
I am not that big or strong.
I really beleive that everything is a metaphor, a symbol.
My butt is falling asleep and my grandma is calling me. So this has to end.
I ramble on a lot about nothing.
I love you.
forever yours,
Yasmin N Karadayi
This makes sense to me. I don't feel complete.
As usuall i have been spending a lot of time reading and thinking. It's far too hot to do anything else.
Yesterday I was told that my ways of thinking are lethargic. The difference between us was that i want to be in the audience, he wants to be center stage. But he says i am on stage.. i am just in the background.
If this world were a play. I wouldn't be on stage. I wouldn't be apart of the play, but beyond the play. I would be apart of the audience. And as people struggle to make themselves heard and seen i would smile, and no one would see me smile... the light does not shine on the audience.
I don't want that sort of attention.
I want to be apart of the crowed that sits silently watching and listening, unseen.
I don't know why i am talking about all of this. It just sort of came to me.
There would be no play if there were no audience.
I wonder what all of this really means.
I think lately i have been coming down with something. I feel faint and i feel like all the energy has been drained out of me. I feel dizzy a lot and my stomache aches.
It's probably just the heat.
That's it.
I am on top of a mountain sitting on the balcony of an apartment on the 12th floor. I feel like i see everything from up here. I see children running around. I see the houses of the poor and the rich. I hear people yelling and laughing and i wonder... how many people am i really looking at. How many of those people are looking back at me? How many people have layed their eyes on me. What have they thought. I am not really invisible after all, everyone can see me. Does anyone want to? When they look at me do they continue looking around or do they stop and stare and think "hey, there is something about that girl".
It's all too much.
I have been a lot more paranoid than usual. The things i have gotten over in the past or forgiven are coming back to me and i'm wondering why i ever let these things go in the first place. But that's ok. Time stops for noone, but it isn't even real.. it's just a concept, a theory. The World keeps rotating on it's axis and when i am really lonely i feel like i can hear it, feel it. I know in a sense i can see it..
I am not that big or strong.
I really beleive that everything is a metaphor, a symbol.
My butt is falling asleep and my grandma is calling me. So this has to end.
I ramble on a lot about nothing.
I love you.
forever yours,
Yasmin N Karadayi