Entry 002
WTH. EITHER I'M A TOTAL IDIOT OR I'M A FRIGGIN' HYPOCRITE. ....MAYBE I'M BOTH. FRIGGIN.
STILL. I'M FRIGGIN' BUTT UGLY, OKAY?
ALL I CAN OBSERVE NOW IS THAT I SEEM TO HAVE AN AWESOME PERSONALITY. INTERNET DUDES DIG ME FOR IT.LOL.
...THAT AND I SEEM TO BE FOOLISHLY LIKING SOME GUY I MET IN THE INTERNET. WHO'S FROM NEW ZEALAND. HAS A BROKEN FAMILY. KNOWS LOTS OF MARTIAL ARTS. TAUGHT HIS FOUR YEAR OLD BROTHER HOW TO THROW KNIVES. IS FRIGGIN SCARED OF NEEDLES. HAD HIS HAIR CUT JUST RECENTLY. AND IS MY OFFICIAL INTERNET UKE. DAMN I KNOW TOO MUCH ABOUT HIM AND I DON'T KNOW IF WHAT HE'S TELLING ME IS REAL.
GAWD I'M AN IDIOT FOR TRUSTING HIM I WANNA SEE HIM. MEET HIM AND RUN FROM EVERYTHING ELSE.
...NOT REALLY, I STILL WANNA DRAW AND FINISH UP KHR AND WATCH HETALIA AND PLAY KH: 358/2 DAYS.
SHIFTY EYES. I'M WEIRD.
HUH. SO I SAID THAT I DON'T NEED A BOYFRIEND.
HUH.
I WANNA CUT MYSELF NOW. DAMN IT. BUT FRIGGIN. I REMEMBER HIM WHEN I FEEL LIKE DOING SO. WE BOTH LIKE BLOOD DAMN IT.
I AM SUCH AN IDIOT.
GURR.
WHAT THE HELL.
AM I REALLY THIS LONELY NOW?
AND MISERABLE?
AND DESPERATE??
UGH. I SHOULD REALLY JUST JUMP OFF A BUILDING.
I...
I SO WANNA CRY.
I'M AN IDIOT I DON'T FIND IT FUNNY ANYMORE.
I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I FUCKING HATE THIS.
HOW COME GUYS I MEET ONLY GO FOR THE LOOKS???
OR AM I SERIOUSLY THAT UNLIKEABLE PERSONALLY?
WHY ARE HUMANS SUCH GREEDY AND SELF-CENTERED CREATURES???
WHY DO I HAVE TO BE ONE OF THEM??
WHY CAN'T I. FUCKING. HAVE ANSWERS!?!???!!!!!
I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU.
WHY CAN'T YOU BE JUST LIKE ANY NORMAL GIRL, IGNORANT ENOUGH TO GO BLINDLY INTO RELATIONSHIPS AND GET FUCKING PREGNANT AT AN EARLY AGE BECAUSE OF BECOMING A FUCKING WHORE?!
WHY CAN'T YOU BE LIKE ANY OF THEM?!
IT'S SO SIMPLE PUT MAKE UP AND TRY TO LOOK NICE IN FRONT OF GUYS AND SHIT SO YOU CAN PICK UP SOME GUY AND FLIRT AND FUCK THEN GET LEFT BEHIND. WHY WHY WHY WHY CAN'T YOU DO THAT?
FUCK FUCK FUCK I HATE YOU.
SELF-LOATHING IS THE BEST. REALLY.
I HATE YOU.
WHY CAN'T YOU BE NORMAL?
THIS SHIT JUST WENT FROM RANT TO ANGST. DAMN IT. I HATE YOU. THIS. EVERYTHING THAT MAKES THIS LIFE REAL.
08/09/2009