wow. i didn't expect it... at all. but it's fine, it's all fine :) but - i don't get it - how u can be asexual and write all those fanfics which, well, pretty sexy? i mean, your heroes feel affection and desire and attraction... so you just imagine it or you feel it as well? can you feel it towards other person? sorry, i've read ur articles but english isn't my native and i must be don't get some important stuff. it's just... u've described the sexiest person ever and u did it SO good!
Firstly, thanks for your compliment on my fanfic. :)And a bonus point for the Sherlock quote! ;)
I can, and do, definitely feel affection towards people. Even (platonic) love. Not sexual desire or attraction, though.
So how do I write it? Well... I fake it. *g* I mean, I've never been a time-traveling alien, either, or a man, and I write about that, so...
It's difficult, though. It mostly stems from what I've learned from reading (both fiction and non-fiction) about sex. And I'm never sure if what I write is actually hot. I write it on an "Okay, this should work for sexuals... I think..." basis.
I could never do it without my betas (a huge shout-out to the fantastic wendymr, and especially to canaana, without whom I never would have started writing smut at all. Whenever I sent out something smutty to beta, I'm all panicky -- "Is this hot? It's supposed to be hot! Do you think it works? Is it plausible??? Is it just weird? Can I post this? Help!" -- and they hold my hand and tell me to calm down and post. *g* (After making other invaluable
( ... )
Just need you to know: you are my favorite author EVER! I keep reread your works, actually I'm doing it right now 'cause they are so affectionate and tender and - they make me feel content and safe (something you don't get enough in real life), especially The Deal verse.
(And yeah. Your fics ARE hot. But they are so more than that!)
they are so affectionate and tender and - they make me feel content and safe (something you don't get enough in real life), especially The Deal verse. This makes me incredibly happy! :) This is exactly what I aim for (and also what *I* get out of my own fic, and other (smut or not) fics I like.
(And yeah. Your fics ARE hot. But they are so more than that!) THANK YOU! :) You have no idea how happy it makes me to hear you say that. :) :) :)
Hey, Yamx! Can't ask questions because my brain-mouth filter (brain-fingers? it's just not the same!) keeps kicking in with 'that's none of my business'. But I will say, it's really interesting! Thanks for the links. :)
Only thing I can think of to ask is how you can write such smok'n hot stories if you don't feel it? I hope you don't mind if they turn the rest of us on, because I'd hate for you to stop writing them.
And no, I don't mind--in fact, I kind of aim for it. I'm aware most of my readers are sexual and read smut differently than I do. :) Glad that it works. ;)
And nope, no intentions of stopping. Bit busy atm, but as soon as things at work clear up, there'll be more forthcoming. :)
Congrats on coming out and being open :) Here's a few questions for you, some fandom related, some not:
1. A lot of people regard the Doctor as asexual, at least in Classic Who. What's your opinion as far as that goes? (Obviously I have read your fics, but I know that, at least for me, what I believe about canon and what I write don't always go hand in hand.) 2. The new BBC's Sherlock has inspired a lot of talk about asexuality in the comms. Have you seen it, and do you have opinions on it? 3. Do you have a specific orientation as far as romantic attraction (for example, hetero/biromantic, etc.)? (I read the article and hope I'm asking this in as polite a fashion as possible.) 4. Do you consider yourself as being part of the queer movement?
Anyway, thanks for sharing :) I'm going to make my own post in a little while once I get my thoughts together.
1.) I haven't seen enough Classic to tell, but from everything I've read about it, it does seem like he reads pretty asexual, yes. That said--he's an alien. Human categories don't apply. He might just be differently sexual.
As for New Who--Nine and Ten are definitely not aromantic.(Eleven, so far, might be.) That doesn't have to mean they're not asexual, though. I think one can plausibly take this in different directions. I like the model I use in the Deal-series, where the Doctor is sexual, but, due to his alien nature, wired in such a way that sexual attraction is dependent on an existing emotional connection. Otoh, I use a completely different model in the Those We Love the Best-verse, and I think that one works, as well. And yes, I think one could also write him as ace and have it be completely plausible
( ... )
1.) I will probably write an article about him for a future issue of the newsletter--if I do, I'll link to that, too. :)
2.) Will do!
3.) Again, I'm not a spokesperson for all asexuals by any means, but personally, I think "squish" describes a kind of relationship, so any relationship that fits the definition can be described as such, no matter who's having it.
4.) I don't get all the hating and prejudices either. Shouldn't people who're having trouble being accepted by society band together, rather than in-fight? But apparently it's a terribly common pattern between all kinds of minorities, including the biphobia and transphobia that you mentioned. I choose to believe that it's only a question of time until it won't matter and everyone will be accepted for who they are. unfortunately, I don't think that'll be within my lifetime, though...
Heh, I was going to use the "it's all fine" line when I clicked on the comment link, but I see midgardsormen already beat me to it.
What the hell, it's such a great line (and I love that scene so much), I'm gonna use it again. ;)
Adding this info to "the list of things I didn't know about yamx, but do now", which makes it interesting in the same way as learning anything new about online friends (whom we only see revealed little teeny bits at a time, if much at all), but I don't have big, specific questions ATM. (Although, FWIW, you're also getting filed as a "resident expert in a sexuality not my own," in case I ever need to hit someone up to beta a story with asexual themes in it!) ;)
Interesting reading this comments thread. I never knew about "squishes," but it's a great definition, and useful (I've definitely had squishes on other women, despite my lack of romantic/sexual attraction to them). Hadn't heard about the whole queer-asexual wank (jeez, there's an interesting juxtaposition of terms), but am left with the jaw-dropping "what is
( ... )
Agreed! I've also learned a new word today, and I realize I've totally had squishes on men, even as a lesbian. They were part of the reason why I was so confused about my orientation in middle and high school - it was all too easy to mistake squishes for crushes at that age.
LOL--I'll be glad to beta anything you ask me to (Even smut! I'm good at betaing smut, ask canaana!), but keep in mind the whole "not a spokesperson" thing. Still, I love being a resident expert! ;)
I love the term "squish," too. Wish I'd learned it earlier in live. It's such a useful term for something I've felt all my life. (Not continuously. But time and time again.)
I suspect I'll continue to consider myself queer once I get over the shock from the wank...
Comments 63
sorry, i've read ur articles but english isn't my native and i must be don't get some important stuff. it's just... u've described the sexiest person ever and u did it SO good!
Reply
I can, and do, definitely feel affection towards people. Even (platonic) love. Not sexual desire or attraction, though.
So how do I write it? Well... I fake it. *g* I mean, I've never been a time-traveling alien, either, or a man, and I write about that, so...
It's difficult, though. It mostly stems from what I've learned from reading (both fiction and non-fiction) about sex. And I'm never sure if what I write is actually hot. I write it on an "Okay, this should work for sexuals... I think..." basis.
I could never do it without my betas (a huge shout-out to the fantastic wendymr, and especially to canaana, without whom I never would have started writing smut at all. Whenever I sent out something smutty to beta, I'm all panicky -- "Is this hot? It's supposed to be hot! Do you think it works? Is it plausible??? Is it just weird? Can I post this? Help!" -- and they hold my hand and tell me to calm down and post. *g* (After making other invaluable ( ... )
Reply
Just need you to know: you are my favorite author EVER! I keep reread your works, actually I'm doing it right now 'cause they are so affectionate and tender and - they make me feel content and safe (something you don't get enough in real life), especially The Deal verse.
(And yeah. Your fics ARE hot. But they are so more than that!)
Reply
And wow--thanks! You're making me blush! :)
they are so affectionate and tender and - they make me feel content and safe (something you don't get enough in real life), especially The Deal verse.
This makes me incredibly happy! :) This is exactly what I aim for (and also what *I* get out of my own fic, and other (smut or not) fics I like.
(And yeah. Your fics ARE hot. But they are so more than that!)
THANK YOU! :) You have no idea how happy it makes me to hear you say that. :) :) :)
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
And no, I don't mind--in fact, I kind of aim for it. I'm aware most of my readers are sexual and read smut differently than I do. :) Glad that it works. ;)
And nope, no intentions of stopping. Bit busy atm, but as soon as things at work clear up, there'll be more forthcoming. :)
Reply
Congrats on coming out and being open :) Here's a few questions for you, some fandom related, some not:
1. A lot of people regard the Doctor as asexual, at least in Classic Who. What's your opinion as far as that goes? (Obviously I have read your fics, but I know that, at least for me, what I believe about canon and what I write don't always go hand in hand.)
2. The new BBC's Sherlock has inspired a lot of talk about asexuality in the comms. Have you seen it, and do you have opinions on it?
3. Do you have a specific orientation as far as romantic attraction (for example, hetero/biromantic, etc.)? (I read the article and hope I'm asking this in as polite a fashion as possible.)
4. Do you consider yourself as being part of the queer movement?
Anyway, thanks for sharing :) I'm going to make my own post in a little while once I get my thoughts together.
Reply
As for New Who--Nine and Ten are definitely not aromantic.(Eleven, so far, might be.) That doesn't have to mean they're not asexual, though. I think one can plausibly take this in different directions. I like the model I use in the Deal-series, where the Doctor is sexual, but, due to his alien nature, wired in such a way that sexual attraction is dependent on an existing emotional connection. Otoh, I use a completely different model in the Those We Love the Best-verse, and I think that one works, as well. And yes, I think one could also write him as ace and have it be completely plausible ( ... )
Reply
Reply
2.) Will do!
3.) Again, I'm not a spokesperson for all asexuals by any means, but personally, I think "squish" describes a kind of relationship, so any relationship that fits the definition can be described as such, no matter who's having it.
4.) I don't get all the hating and prejudices either. Shouldn't people who're having trouble being accepted by society band together, rather than in-fight? But apparently it's a terribly common pattern between all kinds of minorities, including the biphobia and transphobia that you mentioned. I choose to believe that it's only a question of time until it won't matter and everyone will be accepted for who they are. unfortunately, I don't think that'll be within my lifetime, though...
Anyway, thanks for the support. :)
Reply
What the hell, it's such a great line (and I love that scene so much), I'm gonna use it again. ;)
Adding this info to "the list of things I didn't know about yamx, but do now", which makes it interesting in the same way as learning anything new about online friends (whom we only see revealed little teeny bits at a time, if much at all), but I don't have big, specific questions ATM. (Although, FWIW, you're also getting filed as a "resident expert in a sexuality not my own," in case I ever need to hit someone up to beta a story with asexual themes in it!) ;)
Interesting reading this comments thread. I never knew about "squishes," but it's a great definition, and useful (I've definitely had squishes on other women, despite my lack of romantic/sexual attraction to them). Hadn't heard about the whole queer-asexual wank (jeez, there's an interesting juxtaposition of terms), but am left with the jaw-dropping "what is ( ... )
Reply
Great post, great comment thread!
Reply
Reply
I love the term "squish," too. Wish I'd learned it earlier in live. It's such a useful term for something I've felt all my life. (Not continuously. But time and time again.)
I suspect I'll continue to consider myself queer once I get over the shock from the wank...
Thank you for your comment. :)
Reply
Leave a comment