Why do I post when it's late and I'm exhausted? Seriously.
Whoever planned this week needs to never do that again. Don't get me wrong, I love my sisters to death. Thing is, I'm not sure I want to see them for mandatory events every day for eight days.
Well, okay, tonight's formal wasn't mandatory - was an absolute blast, actually - but the point still stands. That is just waaaaaaay too much stuff back to back. Fortunately, all we've got left is the Gamma Games meeting Saturday and Gamma Games itself, as well as formal chapter, on Sunday. Hopefully I'll have some energy before then.
The rest of this post will probably be about RP, so those of you who don't care about that aspect of my internet life can skip the cut. |D
I don't know why I join big games. Seriously, the process is always the same:
STEP ONE: I join because oh, hey, it looks cool, there's people I know, nice premise, sounds like fun, what have you.
STEP TWO: I pay a hell of a lot attention to said RP for about a week, sometimes more, sometimes a bit less. The game, at this point, is my new shiny, and you all know how I am when I get a new shiny.
STEP THREE: Real Life crops up and reminds me I have other commitments. I stop checking my IC flist so frequently and instead poke at IRL things.
STEP FOUR: I come back a few days later and find that life is going on without me and my character. This is normal. It also makes me feel like I have completely and utterly missed the boat. My character should know that character! They have a journal post up! I should interact- but that paper's not going to write itself before tomorrow, and I sadly turn back to IRL duties.
STEP FIVE: A few days to a week to sometimes two weeks later, I come back to the game, find more life has gone by without me and my character, utterly woe at my chances of ever catching up, and seriously start contemplating dropping.
Step five is a bitch. Guess where I am right now.
Thing is, the only large game I've ever stayed at after this process is Daisychain. Yeah, during the first summer - June or so - I was honestly debating dropping DC for good. Glad I did not, but nonetheless - the possibility was there. Every other large game I've axed. Econtra was too fast and too hard to break into social groups (though it also had other massive problems that made me more than glad I'd hightailed it outta there). Template was also too fast and in the utterly wrong time zone for me - I was in London at the time and couldn't keep up with the 1 day IC = 1 day OOC pace.
Now XI's on the chopping block, and I have no idea what I'm doing. Do I want to lose the CR I've got? No, especially not with so much potential for development. Problem is, my inactivity has me waving at that potential as it passes me by. There have already been a few things that I thought would be so cool that, because of faster-moving developments elsewhere or a lack of development on my part, will likely not happen. I wind up with the general feeling that I can't keep up, and goodness knows I get that feeling enough from school. I sure as hell don't need it in my hobbies.
So yeah, that's where I am right now, at least in that aspect.
...oh dammit that's not the entire issue.
Remember last Wednesday? It started with angry sparkles and ended with my life going flat out nuts? I've been telling people my life fell apart Wednesday and I still haven't recovered. I've been saying it with half a smile and a light tone - haha, isn't that funny, the college student's playing pick-up sticks with her life, just like every other college student out there.
Thing is, it's abso-frigging-lutely true. I still haven't recovered from having the rug pulled from under my feet so suddenly and completely. Hell, I'm not even sure where the hell the rug went at this point.
My schedule is concrete, at least. Now all I need to do is find an internship and do research on grad schools even though I don't really want to go to grad school but I need to have something to show my parents when I get home or things are going to be gorram we're-disappointed awkward and there's also those papers for Lit Theory to do - it's not like I'm behind one paper and needing an outline - hell, an idea - for the final one, as well as needing to find those articles again since all my bookmarks got erased somehow - and that monologue stuff for theater to do and I still have to freaking pick a script for that one and if interlibrary loan falls through I'm screwed, nevermind all the stuff that I'm supposed to be doing for RP and sure as hell am not doing at the moment, which I will never be allowed to forget-
I can get seven hours of sleep and still wake up exhausted.
The cherry on this freaking death cake is that I just found out my friend's birthday dinner is tomorrow night. I found that out today from someone who's actually invited. Probably not a big deal. My brain refuses to let it go.
So yeah. That's where I am right now.
I've been telling people I've been marking time until Thanksgiving break, and while that's true, I don't think it's the whole truth. I think I'm just marking time until this semester is over. I thought it was going to be a lot easier than it actually was, and that certainly came back to bite me in the ass.
Well, okay, tonight's formal wasn't mandatory - was an absolute blast, actually - but the point still stands. That is just waaaaaaay too much stuff back to back. Fortunately, all we've got left is the Gamma Games meeting Saturday and Gamma Games itself, as well as formal chapter, on Sunday. Hopefully I'll have some energy before then.
The rest of this post will probably be about RP, so those of you who don't care about that aspect of my internet life can skip the cut. |D
I don't know why I join big games. Seriously, the process is always the same:
STEP ONE: I join because oh, hey, it looks cool, there's people I know, nice premise, sounds like fun, what have you.
STEP TWO: I pay a hell of a lot attention to said RP for about a week, sometimes more, sometimes a bit less. The game, at this point, is my new shiny, and you all know how I am when I get a new shiny.
STEP THREE: Real Life crops up and reminds me I have other commitments. I stop checking my IC flist so frequently and instead poke at IRL things.
STEP FOUR: I come back a few days later and find that life is going on without me and my character. This is normal. It also makes me feel like I have completely and utterly missed the boat. My character should know that character! They have a journal post up! I should interact- but that paper's not going to write itself before tomorrow, and I sadly turn back to IRL duties.
STEP FIVE: A few days to a week to sometimes two weeks later, I come back to the game, find more life has gone by without me and my character, utterly woe at my chances of ever catching up, and seriously start contemplating dropping.
Step five is a bitch. Guess where I am right now.
Thing is, the only large game I've ever stayed at after this process is Daisychain. Yeah, during the first summer - June or so - I was honestly debating dropping DC for good. Glad I did not, but nonetheless - the possibility was there. Every other large game I've axed. Econtra was too fast and too hard to break into social groups (though it also had other massive problems that made me more than glad I'd hightailed it outta there). Template was also too fast and in the utterly wrong time zone for me - I was in London at the time and couldn't keep up with the 1 day IC = 1 day OOC pace.
Now XI's on the chopping block, and I have no idea what I'm doing. Do I want to lose the CR I've got? No, especially not with so much potential for development. Problem is, my inactivity has me waving at that potential as it passes me by. There have already been a few things that I thought would be so cool that, because of faster-moving developments elsewhere or a lack of development on my part, will likely not happen. I wind up with the general feeling that I can't keep up, and goodness knows I get that feeling enough from school. I sure as hell don't need it in my hobbies.
So yeah, that's where I am right now, at least in that aspect.
...oh dammit that's not the entire issue.
Remember last Wednesday? It started with angry sparkles and ended with my life going flat out nuts? I've been telling people my life fell apart Wednesday and I still haven't recovered. I've been saying it with half a smile and a light tone - haha, isn't that funny, the college student's playing pick-up sticks with her life, just like every other college student out there.
Thing is, it's abso-frigging-lutely true. I still haven't recovered from having the rug pulled from under my feet so suddenly and completely. Hell, I'm not even sure where the hell the rug went at this point.
My schedule is concrete, at least. Now all I need to do is find an internship and do research on grad schools even though I don't really want to go to grad school but I need to have something to show my parents when I get home or things are going to be gorram we're-disappointed awkward and there's also those papers for Lit Theory to do - it's not like I'm behind one paper and needing an outline - hell, an idea - for the final one, as well as needing to find those articles again since all my bookmarks got erased somehow - and that monologue stuff for theater to do and I still have to freaking pick a script for that one and if interlibrary loan falls through I'm screwed, nevermind all the stuff that I'm supposed to be doing for RP and sure as hell am not doing at the moment, which I will never be allowed to forget-
I can get seven hours of sleep and still wake up exhausted.
The cherry on this freaking death cake is that I just found out my friend's birthday dinner is tomorrow night. I found that out today from someone who's actually invited. Probably not a big deal. My brain refuses to let it go.
So yeah. That's where I am right now.
I've been telling people I've been marking time until Thanksgiving break, and while that's true, I don't think it's the whole truth. I think I'm just marking time until this semester is over. I thought it was going to be a lot easier than it actually was, and that certainly came back to bite me in the ass.