Silence like a cancer grows. . . .
Quick update on me I guess. Spent a lot of last week not doing a whole lot because I had three days off, one day of work, and then I had the weekend so I feel pretty lazy to say the least. Spent a good portion of my time at Tony's. Just hanging out, his mom left the state for the week so we moved out in to the living room and watched a lot of movies and played a lot of video games. I'm tired. Stayed up kind of late last night playing BattleField with Ryan and Brad, smoked a couple bowls, and what have you. It was nice. Hangin out, playin games, nothing to really worry about.
Then I got to work this morning, almost late I might add, all out of cigarettes, but ready for the day. Then my dad sends me a message on MSN telling me that 1000$ went missing out of his vest and as you can imagine he was quite the upset individual. So that's no good. At all, because we can hardly afford to live as it is, with this little mishap, I don't know what's going to happen.
I'm still tired. Probably going over to Ryan and Sue's after work, left my tongue rings, and some other ends need to be tied up before I leave town. *shrugs* Not sure how I'm makin it to work the rest of the week, slightly shit broke, again.
I hate being a grown up. I have been broke like this, for a year now. I first went in to debt last summer fixing up the Aspen. It's been a fucking year. It all gets better soon, right? I hope so. . . .
I started cutting myself again. I can't really stop myself anymore. I thought a couple weeks ago that it was just a momentary thing, but I'm starting to do it in my sleep again, and I think about it an awful lot. I think I'm starting to finally fall apart. I don't want to blame it on any one thing, but I think I know what made me break. What that last little bit of grain on the scale was, and it scares me.
This is me, absolutely terrified of who I am slowly starting to become. Who I want to be and who I am becoming are nowhere near eachother. I'm finally starting to break. To get scared for my own health and safety (again) I don't want to go to therapy. . . . Don't make me go. . . . is that really my only option left
Then I got to work this morning, almost late I might add, all out of cigarettes, but ready for the day. Then my dad sends me a message on MSN telling me that 1000$ went missing out of his vest and as you can imagine he was quite the upset individual. So that's no good. At all, because we can hardly afford to live as it is, with this little mishap, I don't know what's going to happen.
I'm still tired. Probably going over to Ryan and Sue's after work, left my tongue rings, and some other ends need to be tied up before I leave town. *shrugs* Not sure how I'm makin it to work the rest of the week, slightly shit broke, again.
I hate being a grown up. I have been broke like this, for a year now. I first went in to debt last summer fixing up the Aspen. It's been a fucking year. It all gets better soon, right? I hope so. . . .
I started cutting myself again. I can't really stop myself anymore. I thought a couple weeks ago that it was just a momentary thing, but I'm starting to do it in my sleep again, and I think about it an awful lot. I think I'm starting to finally fall apart. I don't want to blame it on any one thing, but I think I know what made me break. What that last little bit of grain on the scale was, and it scares me.
This is me, absolutely terrified of who I am slowly starting to become. Who I want to be and who I am becoming are nowhere near eachother. I'm finally starting to break. To get scared for my own health and safety (again) I don't want to go to therapy. . . . Don't make me go. . . . is that really my only option left