Bartender I really did it this time . . .
I think I need some help. Not something anybody but me can decide on. I was driving home this morning and for some reason, all I wanted to do, was hit 80 and then whip my wheel all the way to the right in a split second and try and flip my car and just end it all. Just make all of this stop. Demons screaming inside of me.
I wish I had a stone to throw at my creator.
I don't need to be . . .
I'm confused. .
I don't know what I should do anymore.
Don't know what my feelings are anymore.
I'm all fucked up inside. . .
I really like Tony. . . but all he can do is hurt me.
That's what he said, that's not me.
Am I just not good enough. . . I think that's it actually. That would explain all my failed relationships and why nobody in this world can just fucking care about me and except me as the person that I am with no strings or fucking wires attached.
I'm upset. . .
I think I need therapy. . . but how do I shame my entire family? Why do I have to be this way? What is so fucked up inside of my brain that I can't run away from it. I crave my own blood. That's not healthy. . .
I'm not healthy. . .
I wish I had a stone to throw at my creator.
I don't need to be . . .
I'm confused. .
I don't know what I should do anymore.
Don't know what my feelings are anymore.
I'm all fucked up inside. . .
I really like Tony. . . but all he can do is hurt me.
That's what he said, that's not me.
Am I just not good enough. . . I think that's it actually. That would explain all my failed relationships and why nobody in this world can just fucking care about me and except me as the person that I am with no strings or fucking wires attached.
I'm upset. . .
I think I need therapy. . . but how do I shame my entire family? Why do I have to be this way? What is so fucked up inside of my brain that I can't run away from it. I crave my own blood. That's not healthy. . .
I'm not healthy. . .