Here's to the nights we felt alive.
Robert
Not that anybody truly cares but I am once again, stuck in an emotional struggle. So Robert dumped me three weeks ago, we all know this, yes? Well, I'm heading over to Chelsea's house from Jackson for a party that she is hosting, with out good buddy Mr. Five O' clock and our even better friend Mr. Tomas. Kara calls me on my way their and asks me if it's okay if Robert comes because her boyfriend Chris was coming, best friends, whatever. I say if he's fine with it, then I'm fine with it, and besides, I had my friend Mr. Alcohol on my side, what could go wrong?
Everything. I was doing really well when I frist got there, we we're playing Euchre I didn't have to talk to him at all, I just had to look at him every now and then cuz he wasn't playing. After a lot of shots and chugs of vodka and tequila we all went in to watch a movie, which, as you can guess, is where said previously good friend came in to full view. I almost started crying because I was so upset about like everything I wanted to say, and everything that I had been feeling, stuff that needed to be said, and I just went outside for a cigarette. Autumn came out and talked to me and everything, and she was trying to make me feel better, and then she was like, hang on, went inside, and instead of Autumn coming back out, Robert came out. At frist, I was upset with her because I couldn't let him see me like that over him, but then I became really glad she did, because we just talked. I got so much stuff off my chest and he was telling me he missed me and the little things that made his day better when he was with me, feelings. Does anybody understand how huge that is? We went back inside because it was really cold, but before we did, he was like, you should call me on wed or thursday and ask me again about us. I smiled, we went back inside and I sort of cuddled with him for a while. It was bliss.
Tony
Scares me. Yesterday I was hanging out over at his apartment and we were watching Land of the Dead and then we just started kissing and that went on for a while and then we would watch some more of the movie, and do it all over again. At one point, he just started staring at me, so, of course, I was like. . . what? and he just said nothing. I can't tell you. So eventually he told me, and he was like, I was just thinking about how much I really do care about you, and how I like you. I was all, yeah? and then he said something about wanting to maybe date me that's how much he cared, and then asked if I would wait for him to be ready to date again.
When he was kissing me, my body got all shaky and there wasn't anywhere I would want to be but there. My breath got really short, and my throat felt really tight and stuff, I think I really like him. I like just laying there with his arms around me, I feel safe and special.
You see where my problem comes in? Right now, all I want to do is sit in the corner of the room and cry because I have no idea what I want. I miss Robert so bad it's insane. I dream about him every night, I think about him all the time. I'm miserable without him. Unless it's Tony. He has always been able to cheer me up at least a little.
So what do I do? How do I choose, you can't just ask who I like more, if I had a chance I would put them together as one person, I don't know which one of them it would look like, or which personality traits I would pick, or I just don't know. I like them both, equally, and I know I have to pick one of them or none of them. I'm scared. . .
Halp.
Not that anybody truly cares but I am once again, stuck in an emotional struggle. So Robert dumped me three weeks ago, we all know this, yes? Well, I'm heading over to Chelsea's house from Jackson for a party that she is hosting, with out good buddy Mr. Five O' clock and our even better friend Mr. Tomas. Kara calls me on my way their and asks me if it's okay if Robert comes because her boyfriend Chris was coming, best friends, whatever. I say if he's fine with it, then I'm fine with it, and besides, I had my friend Mr. Alcohol on my side, what could go wrong?
Everything. I was doing really well when I frist got there, we we're playing Euchre I didn't have to talk to him at all, I just had to look at him every now and then cuz he wasn't playing. After a lot of shots and chugs of vodka and tequila we all went in to watch a movie, which, as you can guess, is where said previously good friend came in to full view. I almost started crying because I was so upset about like everything I wanted to say, and everything that I had been feeling, stuff that needed to be said, and I just went outside for a cigarette. Autumn came out and talked to me and everything, and she was trying to make me feel better, and then she was like, hang on, went inside, and instead of Autumn coming back out, Robert came out. At frist, I was upset with her because I couldn't let him see me like that over him, but then I became really glad she did, because we just talked. I got so much stuff off my chest and he was telling me he missed me and the little things that made his day better when he was with me, feelings. Does anybody understand how huge that is? We went back inside because it was really cold, but before we did, he was like, you should call me on wed or thursday and ask me again about us. I smiled, we went back inside and I sort of cuddled with him for a while. It was bliss.
Tony
Scares me. Yesterday I was hanging out over at his apartment and we were watching Land of the Dead and then we just started kissing and that went on for a while and then we would watch some more of the movie, and do it all over again. At one point, he just started staring at me, so, of course, I was like. . . what? and he just said nothing. I can't tell you. So eventually he told me, and he was like, I was just thinking about how much I really do care about you, and how I like you. I was all, yeah? and then he said something about wanting to maybe date me that's how much he cared, and then asked if I would wait for him to be ready to date again.
When he was kissing me, my body got all shaky and there wasn't anywhere I would want to be but there. My breath got really short, and my throat felt really tight and stuff, I think I really like him. I like just laying there with his arms around me, I feel safe and special.
You see where my problem comes in? Right now, all I want to do is sit in the corner of the room and cry because I have no idea what I want. I miss Robert so bad it's insane. I dream about him every night, I think about him all the time. I'm miserable without him. Unless it's Tony. He has always been able to cheer me up at least a little.
So what do I do? How do I choose, you can't just ask who I like more, if I had a chance I would put them together as one person, I don't know which one of them it would look like, or which personality traits I would pick, or I just don't know. I like them both, equally, and I know I have to pick one of them or none of them. I'm scared. . .
Halp.