It's not that I expected you to say anything else. I just didn't expect it to hurt when you did, I guess.

it still hurts  in a way. i would have..
it doesn't matter. but i love you. 

I just feel so separate from my peers. I really feel like I'll never just be an average 20 something year old girl. woman. i don't know. some days i think i'm happy about that but other days i just want to be normal and pretty and liked.

I allowed myself to imagine for, like, one second what it would be like if you noticed I existed. But I don't know why I allowed it because it just makes the realization that you don't that much more crushing. I guess they don't call it a crush for no reason. You're so sweet and funny and handsome you've kind of always been my ideal guy but I guess ( Read more... )

I feel so sad. What else is new. I'll only get bigger problems as I get older. I worry I won't be able to handle it. Is this what I have to look forward to?

I still find myself scared some days that I'll never find someone who gets me like you did. It makes me sick that I can even think like that, that I think about you at all, let alone nostalgically. But like it or not, you knew everything about me. You could predict my actions, you knew my worst fears, you knew my goals, my insecurities, EVERYTHING ( Read more... )

I think everyone's sick of me. I'm sick of me. I think justine's sick of me being sad. I don't know how not to be. Sometimes I think it's gone for good and then it just hits me and I feel like I've made no progress. I go to her but maybe I shouldn't anymore, I don't think she knows how to handle it, I don't think anyone does, I think they think me ( Read more... )

here's the truth. i dont know if i've ever said it aloud. the truth is i want someone. i want someone so bad it aches and i feel so pathetic for feeling that need and i feel so pathetic for feeling jealous and bitter and alone but i do.

I am easily the most pathetic person I know. I wish I could start over and just leave every single person I know behind. I would miss them but I think I could do it. I want to live anonymously and unattached.

it hurts to talk to you. i wish you could get that. it seems i am always the one asking what do they have that I don't?