(no subject)
I still find myself scared some days that I'll never find someone who gets me like you did. It makes me sick that I can even think like that, that I think about you at all, let alone nostalgically. But like it or not, you knew everything about me. You could predict my actions, you knew my worst fears, you knew my goals, my insecurities, EVERYTHING. And I hate it. God, I still resent you for it, every time you enter my thoughts it nauseates me. It's been two years, I don't know when the hate will fade, if it ever will, when i'll finally just forget about you. I don't think of you often but when I do it's an honest rage that I don't know what to do with, just sitting there in my stomach making me feel sick. I try to assuage my fears by remembering that I didn't know you at all. And I know that, I do. It's not that I miss you, I sure as fuck do not, it just makes me so angry that you set up such false expectations for me for future relationships. I am so bitter now, it's like battery acid inside of me. The thought of anyone getting close to me makes me terrified, and isn't that just so fucking cliche. It was 2 years last month. Why do I feel like nothings changed.