(no subject)
I'm trying my hardest to show him i care...but it's not good enough for him?
Does that mean it will never work...i mean i shouldn't have to try this hard to make someone want to be with me...right?
but even the thought of getting over him scares me...maybe i've just grown use to having him there...i know i'de miss his calls...but maybe i should atleast try to move on...it seems it would be best for him...because all i do is make him sad..without even trying..i'm just being myself...so i guess i'm not good enough for him..he doesnt want me to have any friends...if he truly cared he wouldn't make me choose between my friends and him..right?
I do wish life was much easier...it used to be soo easy..i used to be so carefree..i used to be so outgoing and happy...hanging out with friends everyday..just goofing off...i miss those times...hanging out...ugh...i guess love changes everything..maybe i'm just growing up..
i don't feel like myself anymore..i would NEVER let any boy treat me like this...making me choose...making me feel like shit for talking to a friend...or wanting to hang out with someone.
Why do i care so much what he thinks?
Why can't i stop thinking about him?
Why am i so careful not to make him mad?
Why do i get so scared when i talk to someone on the phone?
Why am i scared to tell him i talked to someone on the phone?
It seems when i tell him the truth he still gets mad...sometimes i think it would be best to just tell him a lie..but i made him a promise never to lie...
i wish i didn't care so much...i wish i didn't cry everynight..i wish i had someone elses life...someone who is happy in love.
i wish i could just give up.
Does that mean it will never work...i mean i shouldn't have to try this hard to make someone want to be with me...right?
but even the thought of getting over him scares me...maybe i've just grown use to having him there...i know i'de miss his calls...but maybe i should atleast try to move on...it seems it would be best for him...because all i do is make him sad..without even trying..i'm just being myself...so i guess i'm not good enough for him..he doesnt want me to have any friends...if he truly cared he wouldn't make me choose between my friends and him..right?
I do wish life was much easier...it used to be soo easy..i used to be so carefree..i used to be so outgoing and happy...hanging out with friends everyday..just goofing off...i miss those times...hanging out...ugh...i guess love changes everything..maybe i'm just growing up..
i don't feel like myself anymore..i would NEVER let any boy treat me like this...making me choose...making me feel like shit for talking to a friend...or wanting to hang out with someone.
Why do i care so much what he thinks?
Why can't i stop thinking about him?
Why am i so careful not to make him mad?
Why do i get so scared when i talk to someone on the phone?
Why am i scared to tell him i talked to someone on the phone?
It seems when i tell him the truth he still gets mad...sometimes i think it would be best to just tell him a lie..but i made him a promise never to lie...
i wish i didn't care so much...i wish i didn't cry everynight..i wish i had someone elses life...someone who is happy in love.
i wish i could just give up.