please...no foul language...
so this week was pretty interesting...the start of school...the creation of some new friendships...and the struggle to stay afloat financially as i try to once again go back to school in the midst of gaining a career in the corporate world...so needless to say this week has been stressful but for the right reasons...ive never really thought much about how people react towards me until in my study and curiosity of different religions i came across the self help book dianetics (in summary it talks about how ur inner thoughts are worn on the outside and can easily perceived by people u encounter on a daily basis...kind of intersting in my opinion)this was put to test with this project and the start of the new school year...people think alot of different things about me but everything is all a misconception when it comes to the real me so dont be fooled by the piercings and daring hair...its all so im more than memorable...lol...to note when i blog it has no specific order its just an accumulation of thoughts and ideals that run off into infiniti with a series of elipses (...)...plus i really hate punctuation and capitalization as u can probably tell...anyways welcome to a little preview of my mind...and thoughts as i visited my two classes...
tuesday august 26, 2008
im not a fan of getting up early but i was really eager to get back into the swing of the whole school thing...redbull and cigarette in hand i felt empowered and ready for my first day of school in over a year...as i walked to class in ab5 (which fyi i have never had class in...so i thought for sure i was going to look like an ass trying to find the room-thankfully i found it ok...lol)...anyways i was approached by this kid skating through the door on his roller blades (which i thought was kind of funny considering he almost faceplanted as he went through the sliding door) anyways he asked me if that was communications i was walking to...and me being the instant bitch i am (but really im not i just clam up and get nervous and plus i was so tired) said "oh i dunno" and i walked away... i felt kind of bad because i really had no idea what class was when and i was just going to the classroom i knew i had...anyways let me tell u how i was in for a shocker when i walked into that classroom...i had no idea people actually took 8am classes let alone 100+ of them all crammed into the room...theses "sardines" (students) sat in staggering groups...leaving ample spaces so they didnt have to get too close and personal with the person sitting next to them...the first observation i learned was that guys will never sit next to another guy especially these uncomfortable in my own skin freshman that go to fgcu...um hello no one wants to sit next to someone who cant even roll out of bed in something that half way matches anyways...like really?...u cant put any effort into how u look especially on the first day of classes?...gross!...so needless to say i put off sitting next to anyone because well i was busy observing...i tend to do that alot...i sit back and kind of scope the situation out (sometimes my scoping takes weeks it goes back to my really weird childhood)...so there was this group of girls standing at the top of the classroom...which is where i was standing...i watched them try and find a place to sit...once i figured out that i was actually going to have to find a seat...i quickly went over to some random girl and asked her if anyone was sitting next to her...she said no and went back to chatting with her friends...i thought she was kind of rude the way she looked at me and looked at her friends...as if they were to approve judge and then score me...obviously they were freshman and i wouldnt be surprised if everyone in that class was...most of them were a little stuck up their own asses and werent really too friendly but maybe they had heard the rumor of how i snuffed off the guy with the roller blades...thank god that class did not meet for long...i had so much crap to take care of and i just wasnt in any kind of mood to really sit and be silent...me not being able to be social is kind of hard...its like a crackhead without crack lol...not to mention i felt socially akward...and just really uncomfortable (in otherwords i felt intimidated)anyways upon exiting the class i figured id take an opportunity to meet the ta...she seemed cool just not exactly too thrilled to be bombarded by my stupid question of how formal the writing style of this project needed to be...obviously its a college level course so i should be typing this in a completely different way but if im not mistaken people like creativity and im assuming "the mancini" who wasnt even in the class (although im still not convinced he wasnt there...i think he was...and he was just scoping the scene lol) anyways so i think next tuesday ill take the opportunity to get there a little earlier and try and see if i can meet some people...i like having friends and i like being supported in situations...what really sucks the most about restarting school is that none of my friends are along for the ride...so its quite hard to go back to 4 years ago when i was out of my comfort level and meet people...of course i met all of my friends randomly drunk at random parties...so i dont think that will work for the purpose of these classes...so ill just have to jump in...so needless to say i didnt get a good look or a real chance to interact with the students in spc1600 (fundamentals of communication) but i do believe the 15 minutes i was in that class got me prepared for my next class and just how to go back into the swing of looking inviting...and not pretending to be above the "common folk" which ive been told is what i wear on my mug...but its completely unintential unless of course im out and about on the town...
so later that day i had my 330 statistics class with professor drone i wasnt sure what to expect of him because while waiting for him to show up...myself and a few other people were chatting (i was mostly listening) about how people take the class so many times blah blah blah...nothing too exciting...but i looked around and noticed that within 5 minutes everyone was clicked off...guys still not really talking to eachother unless provoked...2 studious individuals sitting in the corner doing homework (which totally freaked me out because i was like "ahhh we already have homework?" thank god we didnt)...and a group of girls playing chatty kathy...flirting with some guy...so the teacher comes to the door unlocks it he seemed pretty nice...his teaching assisstant is totally a cutie...in like a dorkish way tho...and the students are mostly quiet and keep to themselves...except for a girl that walked in late and a group consisting of that one guy and the girls that were flirting with him...there is also this kid that talks to this kid with like amazing eyes but he shaves his head hed totally be hotter if he like grew the hair and grew some muscles...but oh well to each their own...then theres this girl from boston i think she has a speech impediment on top of that annoying "parrrk yahr carrr in harrrvarrrd yarrrd" accent...i dont like people from boston (actually thats a lie...i just had a bad experience with a girl who was from there...actually it was a friendship that was torn to shreds)...so needless to say shes already been written off...wow too critical? lol...ok ill stop im sure shes a nice girl she seems nice from what ive seen in the 2 class periods weve had...anyways that class will be the class i actually get to know people and their personalities in depending on if speech has a meet and greet mixer or not...lol...nah i think ill get to know alot of different people/personalities this year...provided i make myself more inviting...meaning no social barricade aka ipod (which has become a pair of sunglasses to most of us)...and maybe ill add a smile...
:)
oooh so i should state this maybe i can figure this out as i write so the first day of school when i was walking to and from classes/various buildings i got starred/gazed at alot im not sure if i just look familiar to people...or look like a giant bitch...or i initiate eye contact with everyone i look at...or if im finally becoming famous (i hope its this one...lol)!!!...but u cant blame me for the fact i like to be noticed everyone does...so i think this project actually taught me alot whether i noticed it at the time of gathering information or not...it was interesting to actually go back in and look at how i react towards people...its something i need to work on...the whole critical thing but being me and being shit on in the social scene growing up forced me to be critical and closed off...ill get better at it and hopefully ill make some interesting friends in either of my 2 classes...
-heres to a new year with new experiences!
tuesday august 26, 2008
im not a fan of getting up early but i was really eager to get back into the swing of the whole school thing...redbull and cigarette in hand i felt empowered and ready for my first day of school in over a year...as i walked to class in ab5 (which fyi i have never had class in...so i thought for sure i was going to look like an ass trying to find the room-thankfully i found it ok...lol)...anyways i was approached by this kid skating through the door on his roller blades (which i thought was kind of funny considering he almost faceplanted as he went through the sliding door) anyways he asked me if that was communications i was walking to...and me being the instant bitch i am (but really im not i just clam up and get nervous and plus i was so tired) said "oh i dunno" and i walked away... i felt kind of bad because i really had no idea what class was when and i was just going to the classroom i knew i had...anyways let me tell u how i was in for a shocker when i walked into that classroom...i had no idea people actually took 8am classes let alone 100+ of them all crammed into the room...theses "sardines" (students) sat in staggering groups...leaving ample spaces so they didnt have to get too close and personal with the person sitting next to them...the first observation i learned was that guys will never sit next to another guy especially these uncomfortable in my own skin freshman that go to fgcu...um hello no one wants to sit next to someone who cant even roll out of bed in something that half way matches anyways...like really?...u cant put any effort into how u look especially on the first day of classes?...gross!...so needless to say i put off sitting next to anyone because well i was busy observing...i tend to do that alot...i sit back and kind of scope the situation out (sometimes my scoping takes weeks it goes back to my really weird childhood)...so there was this group of girls standing at the top of the classroom...which is where i was standing...i watched them try and find a place to sit...once i figured out that i was actually going to have to find a seat...i quickly went over to some random girl and asked her if anyone was sitting next to her...she said no and went back to chatting with her friends...i thought she was kind of rude the way she looked at me and looked at her friends...as if they were to approve judge and then score me...obviously they were freshman and i wouldnt be surprised if everyone in that class was...most of them were a little stuck up their own asses and werent really too friendly but maybe they had heard the rumor of how i snuffed off the guy with the roller blades...thank god that class did not meet for long...i had so much crap to take care of and i just wasnt in any kind of mood to really sit and be silent...me not being able to be social is kind of hard...its like a crackhead without crack lol...not to mention i felt socially akward...and just really uncomfortable (in otherwords i felt intimidated)anyways upon exiting the class i figured id take an opportunity to meet the ta...she seemed cool just not exactly too thrilled to be bombarded by my stupid question of how formal the writing style of this project needed to be...obviously its a college level course so i should be typing this in a completely different way but if im not mistaken people like creativity and im assuming "the mancini" who wasnt even in the class (although im still not convinced he wasnt there...i think he was...and he was just scoping the scene lol) anyways so i think next tuesday ill take the opportunity to get there a little earlier and try and see if i can meet some people...i like having friends and i like being supported in situations...what really sucks the most about restarting school is that none of my friends are along for the ride...so its quite hard to go back to 4 years ago when i was out of my comfort level and meet people...of course i met all of my friends randomly drunk at random parties...so i dont think that will work for the purpose of these classes...so ill just have to jump in...so needless to say i didnt get a good look or a real chance to interact with the students in spc1600 (fundamentals of communication) but i do believe the 15 minutes i was in that class got me prepared for my next class and just how to go back into the swing of looking inviting...and not pretending to be above the "common folk" which ive been told is what i wear on my mug...but its completely unintential unless of course im out and about on the town...
so later that day i had my 330 statistics class with professor drone i wasnt sure what to expect of him because while waiting for him to show up...myself and a few other people were chatting (i was mostly listening) about how people take the class so many times blah blah blah...nothing too exciting...but i looked around and noticed that within 5 minutes everyone was clicked off...guys still not really talking to eachother unless provoked...2 studious individuals sitting in the corner doing homework (which totally freaked me out because i was like "ahhh we already have homework?" thank god we didnt)...and a group of girls playing chatty kathy...flirting with some guy...so the teacher comes to the door unlocks it he seemed pretty nice...his teaching assisstant is totally a cutie...in like a dorkish way tho...and the students are mostly quiet and keep to themselves...except for a girl that walked in late and a group consisting of that one guy and the girls that were flirting with him...there is also this kid that talks to this kid with like amazing eyes but he shaves his head hed totally be hotter if he like grew the hair and grew some muscles...but oh well to each their own...then theres this girl from boston i think she has a speech impediment on top of that annoying "parrrk yahr carrr in harrrvarrrd yarrrd" accent...i dont like people from boston (actually thats a lie...i just had a bad experience with a girl who was from there...actually it was a friendship that was torn to shreds)...so needless to say shes already been written off...wow too critical? lol...ok ill stop im sure shes a nice girl she seems nice from what ive seen in the 2 class periods weve had...anyways that class will be the class i actually get to know people and their personalities in depending on if speech has a meet and greet mixer or not...lol...nah i think ill get to know alot of different people/personalities this year...provided i make myself more inviting...meaning no social barricade aka ipod (which has become a pair of sunglasses to most of us)...and maybe ill add a smile...
:)
oooh so i should state this maybe i can figure this out as i write so the first day of school when i was walking to and from classes/various buildings i got starred/gazed at alot im not sure if i just look familiar to people...or look like a giant bitch...or i initiate eye contact with everyone i look at...or if im finally becoming famous (i hope its this one...lol)!!!...but u cant blame me for the fact i like to be noticed everyone does...so i think this project actually taught me alot whether i noticed it at the time of gathering information or not...it was interesting to actually go back in and look at how i react towards people...its something i need to work on...the whole critical thing but being me and being shit on in the social scene growing up forced me to be critical and closed off...ill get better at it and hopefully ill make some interesting friends in either of my 2 classes...
-heres to a new year with new experiences!