Day 1. And already....
Sooo, got my math test todayy~ And even though I felt like shit while writing it, I got a pretty good mark. 8D Winnnn. I'm so proud of myself, I haven't done this well in a math test since gr. 10, 'cause that was so easy. I wodner what happened in gr. 11. I hope this continues on, I wanttt this mark to be good. It's one of the only things I'm confident in.
Chemistry isn't bad either, but I'm so nervous for everythign, I feel so unprepared. It's so frustrating. But I don't want to work on it. D:
Computer Science, haha, I still wonder why I took this course. But it's fun. And it's not too bad... I'm starting to understand this stuff. It hurts my brain thoughh writing programs. D: It takes so much logicc, that I don't havee. XD But it's so funa nd satisfyign to get a program finished. I feel so proud, it's amazinggg. =P Unfortunately, he's in that class, and although he sits on the other side of the room and stuff, all I remember is waiting for him, or him waiting for me at the end of class to go to lunch together. Ahhh. Not helpful. XD
OH EM GEE. I think I'm going to fail physics. I seriously need to learn all my physics tonight, and maybe tmr, or I'm going to fail the test. I'm getting like 20% lower in physics than my other courses. xD And I don't understand a thing. I'm so confused in class omg. This sucks. I'll need to get a friend to teach me ALL the physics we've learned so far in one night. XD I'm determined to do well in this course. Even though I'm lazyy, and procrastiante way too much. =o=;;
So I was so proud of myself today for not crying. But everytime I saw him I wanted to. It's that heavy feeling in your chest that you can't get rid of, know what I mean? It's probably because I still miss him and want him there while knowing it's over. I really really wish I knew what he was thinking and is thinking now. Likeee, was I bothering him? Did he get tired of me? Does he actually still like me? Does he hate me? Does he care? Is he even remotely as hurt as I am? God, I feel like such a little girl lost and confused and sucked into her puppy love. XD
So then I listened to a few songs today, which made me cry. XD The first was Love Drunk, Boys like Girls. I wonder if that's really the way he feels. I'm kinda hurt by that. And god, if hangovers are this painful, I don't ever want to be drunk. Is it bad that I still want him? That I don't want forever to be over?
Then I listened to Two is better than one. That's pretty much how I'm feeling still. And at the same time I feel oh so pathetic. Afterschool, he stayed for so longgg. I wanted him to stay with me, but at the same time... I can't ask for that anymore. So I kinda wanted him gone. But when he did leave, I wanted to cry. I don't get myself. Whyyy am I so hooked on to someone like this, someone who probably doesn't caree.
Then I listened to Missing me, RJ Helton. That was... Well...
I love the way it feels when you touch my hand
Don't wanna let you go
I love the way you say that I am your man
Don't understand why we can't go on and go on
Don't understand why
You don't belong in my arms
Ohh
And even if I cried a thousand tears tonight
Would you come back to me
And even if I walked on the water
Would you come out to sea
Now I can't spend my life standing by
Cause even when I miss you
You're still not missing me
It's funny how my heart just won't let it go
I just don't understand
It's crazy how the pain seems to overflow
The memories of you here with me by my side
I can't deny that you are the love of my life
Ohh
And even if I cried a thousand tears tonight
Would you come back to me
And even if I walked on the water
Would you come out to sea
Now I can't spend my life standing by
Cause even when I miss you
You're still not missing me
And I still cry for you
And I would die for you
I can't believe all the words I heard you say
And I still long for you
And I was strong for you
I can't believe that you'd throw it all away
I still cry for you
I would die for you
I can't believe all the words I heard you say
I still long for you
I was strong for you
I can't believe that you'd throw it all away
And even if I cried a thousand tears tonight
Would you come back to me
And even if I walked on the water
Would you come out to sea
Now I can't spend my life standing by
Cause even when I miss you
You're still not missing me
I still cry for you
I would die for you
I can't believe all the words I heard you say
I still long for you
I was strong for you
I can't believe that you'd throw it all away
Now I can't spend my life standing by
Cause even when I miss you
You're still not missing me
I don't know, sad songs make me sad, but I like listening to them anyways. Especially when I feel like they understand me.
On another note, I'm getting sick. So coldd. T__T And ughh, I hate coughing, and my throat hurts. I hope I get better soon, and that this doesn't get worse.
Chemistry isn't bad either, but I'm so nervous for everythign, I feel so unprepared. It's so frustrating. But I don't want to work on it. D:
Computer Science, haha, I still wonder why I took this course. But it's fun. And it's not too bad... I'm starting to understand this stuff. It hurts my brain thoughh writing programs. D: It takes so much logicc, that I don't havee. XD But it's so funa nd satisfyign to get a program finished. I feel so proud, it's amazinggg. =P Unfortunately, he's in that class, and although he sits on the other side of the room and stuff, all I remember is waiting for him, or him waiting for me at the end of class to go to lunch together. Ahhh. Not helpful. XD
OH EM GEE. I think I'm going to fail physics. I seriously need to learn all my physics tonight, and maybe tmr, or I'm going to fail the test. I'm getting like 20% lower in physics than my other courses. xD And I don't understand a thing. I'm so confused in class omg. This sucks. I'll need to get a friend to teach me ALL the physics we've learned so far in one night. XD I'm determined to do well in this course. Even though I'm lazyy, and procrastiante way too much. =o=;;
So I was so proud of myself today for not crying. But everytime I saw him I wanted to. It's that heavy feeling in your chest that you can't get rid of, know what I mean? It's probably because I still miss him and want him there while knowing it's over. I really really wish I knew what he was thinking and is thinking now. Likeee, was I bothering him? Did he get tired of me? Does he actually still like me? Does he hate me? Does he care? Is he even remotely as hurt as I am? God, I feel like such a little girl lost and confused and sucked into her puppy love. XD
So then I listened to a few songs today, which made me cry. XD The first was Love Drunk, Boys like Girls. I wonder if that's really the way he feels. I'm kinda hurt by that. And god, if hangovers are this painful, I don't ever want to be drunk. Is it bad that I still want him? That I don't want forever to be over?
Then I listened to Two is better than one. That's pretty much how I'm feeling still. And at the same time I feel oh so pathetic. Afterschool, he stayed for so longgg. I wanted him to stay with me, but at the same time... I can't ask for that anymore. So I kinda wanted him gone. But when he did leave, I wanted to cry. I don't get myself. Whyyy am I so hooked on to someone like this, someone who probably doesn't caree.
Then I listened to Missing me, RJ Helton. That was... Well...
I love the way it feels when you touch my hand
Don't wanna let you go
I love the way you say that I am your man
Don't understand why we can't go on and go on
Don't understand why
You don't belong in my arms
Ohh
And even if I cried a thousand tears tonight
Would you come back to me
And even if I walked on the water
Would you come out to sea
Now I can't spend my life standing by
Cause even when I miss you
You're still not missing me
It's funny how my heart just won't let it go
I just don't understand
It's crazy how the pain seems to overflow
The memories of you here with me by my side
I can't deny that you are the love of my life
Ohh
And even if I cried a thousand tears tonight
Would you come back to me
And even if I walked on the water
Would you come out to sea
Now I can't spend my life standing by
Cause even when I miss you
You're still not missing me
And I still cry for you
And I would die for you
I can't believe all the words I heard you say
And I still long for you
And I was strong for you
I can't believe that you'd throw it all away
I still cry for you
I would die for you
I can't believe all the words I heard you say
I still long for you
I was strong for you
I can't believe that you'd throw it all away
And even if I cried a thousand tears tonight
Would you come back to me
And even if I walked on the water
Would you come out to sea
Now I can't spend my life standing by
Cause even when I miss you
You're still not missing me
I still cry for you
I would die for you
I can't believe all the words I heard you say
I still long for you
I was strong for you
I can't believe that you'd throw it all away
Now I can't spend my life standing by
Cause even when I miss you
You're still not missing me
I don't know, sad songs make me sad, but I like listening to them anyways. Especially when I feel like they understand me.
On another note, I'm getting sick. So coldd. T__T And ughh, I hate coughing, and my throat hurts. I hope I get better soon, and that this doesn't get worse.