and i miss you (and love you and crave for you) i/iii
and i miss you (and love you and crave for you)
nc-17; romance, fluff, angst; suho/d.o, mentions of xiumin/baekhyun, past!suho/zitao; 23,637 words
warnings: explicit smut, drunk sex
summary: it's a horrible clichè, but absence really can make the heart grow fonder (or so that's what junmyeon tells himself over and over again).
a/n: originally written as a pinch hit fic for the second round of capsandpizzas. (just a heads up! it may be kind of image heavy at some parts.)
Junmyeon frowns as he looks at himself in his handheld mirror. He can't believe this. He can't fucking believe this just happened to him. He's pretty sure he's never done anything to warrant this ugly bruise on his cheek. Or, well, that was what he believed in an hour ago before Tao apparently thought otherwise and punched him straight in the face after their break-up.
Sure, he's not a perfect boyfriend and maybe he's never had any real luck with his past relationships before, but Junmyeon swears this one has got to be the worst one out of all of them.
Gingerly, Junmyeon touches the bruise forming on his cheek with careful fingers and immediately winces when it throbs. Damn, it still hurts like hell. He lays the ice pack on his cheekbone again and holds it steady in place. A part of his face feels hot, like a terrible sunburn, and the pack's cold contents bring little relief. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Jongdae and Chanyeol staring at him, shoulders shaking in obvious amusement.
Junmyeon throws a glare in their direction. "I don't think there's any reason why you two should be laughing right now."
"Oh. But on the contrary, your face is actually too hilarious to look at, hyung," Chanyeol says, his tone void of any hint of shame or regret. Junmyeon briefly wonders if throwing this mirror can erase that huge grin off of Chanyeol's face.
In the end, Junmyeon just groans and gives up before he can even start an argument. His face hurts and he only has terrible people to call as his friends-Junmyeon thinks this is the kind of fate he wouldn't wish on anyone. Ever. "Can't you two show at least a little sympathy for me here?"
"Look, Junmyeon hyung," Jongdae starts, almost sobering up after he practically laughed his heart out at Junmyeon's expense earlier. "You're my best friend, my confidante, my brother-from-another-mother, my bosom buddy and all that shit, but I honestly think you deserve that."
What? Junmyeon can't believe what he just heard. "You think I deserve a punch on the face just because I didn't buy him a present for his birthday? Even though the guy basically told me not to get him one?"
"I don't think it's about the gift, hyung. I really think it's more than that." There's an unusual seriousness in Chanyeol's tone that makes Junmyeon feel uncomfortable in his own skin, like Chanyeol knows something that Junmyeon doesn't. Something that both of his friends have always been aware of.
"Do enlighten me then," Junmyeon says to Chanyeol, almost daring him to speak up and point out all of Junmyeon's shortcomings in his relationship with Tao. "Because, frankly, I don't know what happened. I have no idea how it suddenly came to this when we were so good together-"
"Hyung, seriously," Jongdae quickly cuts in, "do we really need to spell it out for you?"
Junmyeon looks at Jongdae in confusion, his eyebrows dragging together. "What?"
"I swear this happens every time. Every. Single. Time," Jongdae says, firmly enunciating every single word, as though doing so would help Junmyeon understand what he's trying to say. It doesn't, much to Jongdae's frustration, so he continues, never giving Junmyeon a chance to speak. "You get into these relationships but you don't ever fully commit. You never have-not since I've known you, and I've known you for a long ass time, hyung."
"That's not-"
"Please don't even try and defend yourself because it is true. It's been happening a lot. Over and over again. Chanyeol and I can't even count the number of times we had to sit here just to listen to you moan and be surprised after every break-up you go through."
Beside Jongdae, Junmyeon can see Chanyeol silently nodding his head, like he wholeheartedly agrees but is much too afraid to say anything else after what Jongdae just blurted out. Junmyeon is speechless, can't really get his brain to form coherent words as a response. Because, really, what can he even say to that? Junmyeon figures it's pretty much useless to reason with them, anyway, not when this has been glaringly obvious to both of his friends all along.
Junmyeon closes his eyes and sighs. The bruise on his cheek doesn't hurt as much as it did before, thanks to the cold compress pressed on his face the whole time. He takes a glance at himself in the mirror again-it's a good thing he looks decent enough to go out now, at least.
Junmyeon gets up from the couch. "Okay, you know what, I'm done with this conversation. I think I'm going to have a drink to clear my head or something."
This prompts Chanyeol and Jongdae to stand up as well, immediately taking their place on Junmyeon's side. Junmyeon lifts a questioning brow at them. Jongdae shrugs. "What? You obviously need our company because we all know your alcohol tolerance is practically nonexistent. So, being the good friends that we are, Chanyeol and I will make sure you won't embarrass yourself more so than usual."
Junmyeon shakes his head, smiling despite himself. He really has the most terrible and most ridiculous friends ever. "Fine," he says. "But you two are paying for your own drinks."
Junmyeon cautiously weaves through the throng of people with a full pitcher of beer in his hand, careful not to accidentally bump and spill it onto anyone in his way. The club is packed, as it usually is on a Friday night, with crowds of singles and groups lively dancing to the upbeat music pumped out by the overhead speakers. Everyone seems to be having a rather great time tonight and Junmyeon thinks this is exactly the kind of atmosphere that can help him clear his head and forget for a little while.
"I didn't know you plan on getting smashed tonight," Jongdae comments as soon as Junmyeon arrives at their table.
Junmyeon only answers by quickly tossing back a drink, his face contorting into a grimace when the bitter taste of beer hits the back of his tongue. Jongdae and Chanyeol watch him with amusement and concern, before eventually shrugging and pouring themselves a glass as well. Despite how subtle they think they're being, Junmyeon knows both Chanyeol and Jongdae are keeping an eye on him, and he hates it. Hates the feeling like he's a child that needs to be constantly looked after when, in reality, he's the oldest one among the three of them.
He's not about to ruin his night even more by making this a big deal, however, so Junmyeon just decides to let it slide, play the willful ignorance card at all the wary glances being thrown his way. He looks around to distract himself, taking in the sight of a gaggle of people dancing and laughing and having fun in what little cramped space the place has for a dance floor.
It's probably the alcohol making him think of really weird things but, suddenly, Junmyeon finds the idea of dancing (read: shamelessly grinding certain body parts against a total stranger) a little less horrible and a lot more inviting at this moment. Junmyeon catches himself getting up from his seat, as though lulled by the booming music and the heat of the club, walking towards the cramped dance floor-
-and spilling his drink on a rather unsuspecting person that just happened to pass by in front of him at that exact time. This immediately snaps Junmyeon from whatever strange trance he's in. But it's only after he sees the wet splotches now painted on the other guy's shirt does Junmyeon really realize what he's done.
"Oh, God, I'm sorry," Junmyeon says, frantic, still clutching his drink in one hand. His other hand, however, is just hovering awkwardly in the air because his brain is still trying to determine whether or not it's impolite to wipe away the remnants of the spilled beer on the guy's shirt. "I honestly didn't see you there. I was so-"
"Are you implying something about my height?"
At the sudden question, Junmyeon stops rambling and, as discreetly as he can, spends a second or two to take a good look at the guy standing in front of him.
Oh.
He's indeed a little short. Not much shorter than Junmyeon is, sure, but the height difference is still there at least.
And. Well. He's cute, too. Really, really cute.
But Junmyeon thinks he'd probably look a hundred times cuter without that murderous expression on his face. Junmyeon flails in panic, his free hand raised in a submissive gesture. "That's not what I meant!" he cries out, hoping his voice carries over the blaring music. "I wasn't talking about your height when I said that. Really! It's all my fault; I wasn't paying attention to my surroundings while I was walking. I'm really, really sorry. If you want, um, I'll pay for the dry cleaning of your shirt! Or if you'd rather buy a new one-"
"Hey, calm down," the guy says, cutting Junmyeon off mid-rant. Junmyeon belatedly notices the humor reflected on those eyes and the smile playing at the corners of his lips. "I was only kidding earlier. I'm not really angry or anything. It's fine."
"But your shirt-"
"You don't have to worry about that! It's no big deal."
"At least let me buy you a drink!" Junmyeon still insists, uncaring of the fact that he's probably scaring the hell out of this guy for being so obnoxiously persistent. "Or-I mean, we have a whole pitcher of beer back in our table and I'd feel like a complete shit if you don't have at least one glass of beer with me."
It sounds ridiculous even in Junmyeon's ears but, really, this is the only way he can think of to redeem himself, at least. The guy seems to consider Junmyeon's offer for a moment, his lower lip caged in between his teeth as he looks at Junmyeon with probing eyes. Junmyeon hopes he doesn't come off as a violent person to this guy, especially with the ugly bruise on his cheek, because he really doesn't need any more reason to embarrass himself even further. It's only when a smile finally appears on those lips again does Junmyeon release a sigh of relief.
"Okay, fine, if you insist. But just one drink," the guy says, holding a finger up. Junmyeon easily agrees with a smile of his own. "I'm Kyungsoo, by the way."
"Junmyeon," he simply replies as an introduction. They carefully make their way through the crowd, squeezing among an enormous sea of people until they finally reach Junmyeon's table.
"Hey," Junmyeon calls, making both Jongdae and Chanyeol look up from where they're sitting. "This is Kyungsoo. I hope you guys don't mind if he joins us for beer tonight."
"Hello there," Jongdae greets. There's a lingering suggestive curl at the corners of Jongdae's lips and, already, Junmyeon can tell that this is probably the worst thing he could've done to himself tonight. "And, sure, we don't mind. I'm glad Junmyeon's found someone to accompany him tonight. Other than us, of course."
Junmyeon kicks Jongdae hard under the table because, god, can he at least try and not ruin this for Junmyeon? Kyungsoo, on the other hand, doesn't seem to mind the joke and just laughs good-naturedly. "I'm only here for one drink, though, because Junmyeon feels sorry for accidentally spilling his beer on me and just won't take no for answer."
"So clumsy, hyung," Chanyeol teases with a twinkle of mischief in his eyes. Junmyeon wonders if it's a lot less painful to bang his head against the table than sit here and allow his friends to be extra terrible tonight.
In the end, the latter eventually happens and Junmyeon chalks it up to the fact that Jongdae and Chanyeol are both little shits who can willingly turn their charm on anytime just to have their way. What was supposed to be a one-drink-only invitation turns into an all-out drinking session and pretty soon, all four of them are giggling like little kids into their drinks-not completely hammered yet but definitely far from being sober.
It's Junmyeon's third full glass of beer when the music suddenly cranks up, the overhead speakers blaring with loud, annoying pop songs. This time, it's definitely the alochol in his system that drives Junmyeon to somewhat drunkenly launch himself out of his seat and pull Kyungsoo towards the dance floor.
Dancing is quite a dangerous activity for Junmyeon, considering how awful he is at it when he's sober. So, obviously, the awful part just turns into beyond embarrassing when he's drunk and doesn't have his usual control of his limbs. Kyungsoo doesn't seem to mind any of that, however, if the way he presses up against Junmyeon's front is any indication.
Junmyeon bravely lets his hands wander, slowly sliding his hands along Kyungsoo's hips, up to curl against his ribcage. Kyungsoo moves back against Junmyeon, just in time with the messy beat of the music, his body warm in all the places it presses against Junmyeon's.
When Kyungsoo turns around in his hold and kisses him, it both takes Junmyeon by surprise and, at the same time, doesn't surprise him at all. His head is still a little hazy with the intoxicating taste of beer on his tongue and he feels so hot, like there's a fire burning underneath his skin. Kyungsoo's hands are up at the back of his shirt, fingernails digging crescents into his skin, his teeth scraping against Junmyeon's lip. When they pull away moments later, the need for oxygen clutching at their lungs, Junmyeon just feels even more inebriated than before.
If Junmyeon wasn't too horny and buzzing with need right now, he could probably make a list of all the reasons why the next thing he's about to do is aptly categorized as The Most Terrible Idea of the Night, including but not limited to the fact that they're both obviously really tipsy, that Junmyeon just got out of a relationship a few hours ago, that he just met Kyungsoo and that he doesn't know anything of significance about him other than: 1) he works in the music industry and; 2) he's one hell of a great kisser.
But, as it is, Junmyeon doesn't have the will nor the capacity to curb his urges at this precise moment, so he throws all the fucks he can possibly give out the window and-
"Do you want to leave this place?" Junmyeon whispers loud enough for Kyungsoo to hear.
At Kyungsoo's nod, Junmyeon closes his fingers around Kyungsoo's wrist and tugs him away from the dance floor, sticking as close to him as he can through the multitude of people pressing against them at all sides. Their table is empty and Junmyeon doesn't have any idea where Jongdae and Chanyeol are but he thinks they'll understand if he leaves them early tonight, anyway-he'll just have to find a way to explain his situation to them tomorrow.
Junmyeon has little time to gasp in relief once the cold night air outside hits him hard before he's moving again and shoving themselves inside a cab.
It's definitely a miracle that they even manage to keep their clothes on while they're on their way to Junmyeon's apartment, considering how the atmosphere between them is so thick and charged with undeniable need. Junmyeon tries to keep his hands to himself the whole time, knowing that he won't be able to stop himself once he starts.
It's like a switch suddenly turns on, however, once they're both out of the cab and a step just past into the doorway of Junmyeon's bedroom.
Junmyeon pushes Kyungsoo right up against the door as soon as it closes with a loud thud, his lips attaching to Kyungsoo's neck. Kyungsoo tips his head back to give Junmyeon's mouth more skin to work with, and Junmyeon grabs this opportunity to latch onto a patch of Kyungsoo's throat, the spot just above his clavicle, and suck until Junmyeon's sure he's left a purple-red bruise on Kyungsoo's skin.
Kyungsoo groans as soon as he realizes what Junmyeon has done and it isn't long before Junmyeon finds himself being pushed onto his own bed, trapped under Kyungsoo's heated gaze and wandering hands.
"Will you remember all of this tomorrow?" Junmyeon breathes out. Kyungsoo's lips are just right there, just a few centimeters away from his, thick and glistening and so very tempting for Junmyeon to claim again. But Junmyeon forces himself to resist, because while he's very much into the idea of having another round of intense make out session (which may hopefully lead to him getting laid tonight), Junmyeon thinks it's really no fun if he's the only one who's going to remember all the glory details the next morning.
Kyungsoo laughs-more like a drunk giggle than anything. "I'm just a little buzzed, Junmyeon," he teases, "so, yes, I think I will." Kyungsoo takes the initiative this time and leans down to drop a kiss at the corner of Junmyeon's mouth, soft and quick but just enough to make Junmyeon's head spin with want. "Actually, I don't think I'll be forgetting about this anytime soon."
Well, fuck, if that didn't just make Junmyeon's cock twitch in excitement inside his pants.
Their clothes can't come off soon enough after that. Junmyeon digs his blunt fingernails into Kyungsoo's shoulders and hitches his legs around Kyungsoo's waist, a groan slipping past his lips every time Kyungsoo grinds their hips together. Adrenaline is coursing right through his veins and Junmyeon feels like his body is pounding with the beat of his heart that won’t slow down.
"Want to fuck you," Kyungsoo blurts against the crook of his neck. The breath that fans across Junmyeon's skin makes him shiver.
It takes a few seconds for the words to register in Junmyeon's lust-addled brain, but when they finally do, Junmyeon can't stop the groan that rumbles from his throat. Junmyeon can't actually remember the last time he bottomed for somebody and doing it now, with someone he just met at the club, is all kinds of thrilling and worrying at the same time. Junmyeon blindly reaches for the bottle of lube and some condoms from his bedside drawer, his fingers fumbling through a couple of other things before he finally finds them.
Kyungsoo takes the bottle from Junmyeon's hand without any hesitation and squirts some lube onto his fingers, coating them generously. A shiver runs through Junmyeon's entire body when a slick finger starts probing his entrance, breath hitching in his throat when Kyungsoo doesn't stop, only presses in further.
It isn’t long before Kyungsoo's adding a second finger, stretching Junmyeon even more. When Kyungsoo's fingers accidentally brush against Junmyeon's prostrate just when he's about to pull them out, Junmyeon doesn’t even stop himself from moaning out long and loud, his hands fisting in the sheets, because, god, that feels so good. Kyungsoo grins and leans down to press a kiss to his cheek, fingers still moving in a steady rhythm.
Junmyeon feels like his body is on fire from head to toe-his skin burns from the pleasure, thoroughly consumes him inside out-and his patience is already running thin. He's so riled up that Kyungsoo's fingers aren’t just enough anymore, not what he wants, not what he needs. His cock is hard and stupid with arousal, lying seemingly forgotten between them, and Junmyeon really, really wants to touch himself to slake some of his desire, try to alleviate the gnawing need in his belly.
But when those curling fingers leave him and Kyungsoo finally slides inside, pushing in as slowly as he can, Junmyeon can’t help but abandon his plan and hold onto Kyungsoo a little bit tighter instead, clawing at his shoulders. It's been way too long since he'd had a cock up his ass, and Junmyeon moans at the delicious feeling of being filled again, of feeling so full like he can't fucking breathe.
It takes a few seconds before Kyungsoo starts to slide out of him, watching Junmyeon's expression carefully. Whatever he sees in Junmyeon’s face, Kyungsoo seems to decide that it’s enough, and the grip he has on Junmyeon's hips tightens before he slams back in. A loud gasp slips from Junmyeon’s lips, all the air leaving his lungs in a rush at the sudden movement.
Kyungsoo sets a steady rhythm at first, his thrusts slow and precise, but it's definitely nowhere close to what Junmyeon wants tonight so he makes sure to tighten his thighs around Kyungsoo’s waist, grabbing his ass to pull him even closer. The action only makes Kyungsoo groan, his cock sliding in a little deeper than usual as he cants his hips harder against Junmyeon. Junmyeon’s fingers claw wildly at Kyungsoo’s shoulders, his back bowed up off the bed as Kyungsoo continues to thrust in and out of him. He's drenched in sweat, and he can feel every beat of his heart everywhere-but especially where Kyungsoo is inside him, stretching him, filling him full.
It’s starting to get a little too much, and with Kyungsoo expertly shifting his angle just a little bit, moving inside him all surging, hungry need and hitting his prostate over and over again, Junmyeon knows he’s dangerously close to falling over the edge.
Junmyeon comes after one particularly hard thrust and it's as sudden and sharp as a whiplash, white exploding even behind his eyelids. The intensity of his release crashes over him in waves, momentarily making him blind and taking his breath away.
It isn’t long before Kyungsoo follows; a few more stuttered thrusts and he finally comes, his face buried in Junmyeon's chest. Kyungsoo lets out a low groan, his hips still ramming into Junmyeon as he rides their orgasms out.
Eventually, Kyungsoo's cock slips out of him, a faint whimper bubbling from his lips, and he proceeds to take the vacant space on Junmyeon's left. For a moment none of them speak, too busy trying to catch their breaths and calm their thundering hearts. And then-
Kyungsoo starts, "That was..."
"Yeah," Junmyeon easily agrees, laughing. He's smiling like an idiot and his hair is a mess and his thighs are still spread wide. He feels so damn sore but still so, so good. It's probably one of the effects of the alcohol still in his system but Junmyeon feels insanely light and happy all of a sudden.
Kyungsoo doesn't say anything more after that, opts to just quietly take space beside Junmyeon, feeling lazy and spent. Junmyeon doesn't mind, not really, not when the contented smile Kyungsoo gives him already says enough.
It's the movement of someone getting out of his bed that wakes Junmyeon up the next morning.
The spectacular headache that greets Junmyeon the moment he opens his eyes is entirely unsurprising. Seeing Kyungsoo already up and stealthily trying to pick up his clothes and dress himself by the side of Junmyeon's bed, however, is something that Junmyeon never really expected to witness.
"Good morning," Junmyeon greets, frowning. His throat feels so raw and scratchy.
Kyungsoo starts at his voice, dropping one of the socks he's holding in his grasp. Slowly, he turns around, and it almost makes Junmyeon laugh to see that caught-in-the-headlight expression painted on his face. He was clearly not expecting Junmyeon to be awake. Junmyeon tries to stop himself from smiling too much-damn, how can someone be so cute so early in the morning?
Junmyeon clears his throat. "You know," he says nonchalantly, "you could've been more successful in sneaking out if you just woke up fifteen minutes earlier and rolled off the bed."
Kyungsoo's expression soon morphs into one of embarrassment, a cute but awkward smile slipping on his face, and it's taking all of Junmyeon's willpower not to jump him right there and then. "I...really wasn't trying to sneak out?"
Junmyeon raises an eyebrow at him. "Yeah. You were just quietly gathering your clothes and tiptoeing across the floor."
Kyungsoo just laughs instead of giving any verbal answer, the sound carrying through the air and pulling Junmyeon's lips into a relieved smile. The early morning sun shines through his window, but Junmyeon knows the warmth spreading across his chest, down to his fingertips and toes, is caused by something else entirely.
Junmyeon then sits up, the blanket slipping down past his shoulders. He doesn't miss the way Kyungsoo's gaze lingers a little bit on his chest before coming back up to his face. "Do you want to, maybe, get some breakfast?"
Kyungsoo hums. "I guess food would be good."
They end up eating at a little diner a few blocks away from Junmyeon's apartment, sitting across from each other with their orders set in front of them. The place is nothing fancy, nor does it serve expensive food on their menu, but all of that don't really matter when Junmyeon hears Kyungsoo humming in satisfaction after taking his very first bite. Junmyeon doesn't even bother hiding the self-satisfied smile from Kyungsoo.
"Anyway, I really had a great time with you last night," Junmyeon starts after he's done chewing his food. Nevermind the fact that all they really did last night were get drunk and dance and have sex, but Junmyeon genuinely liked being in Kyungsoo's company. "And I was hoping I could get your number so we could hang out again soon."
"Oh," Kyungsoo says. He sounds surprised, like he hadn't really expected Junmyeon to suddenly ask him for that. And then, wordlessly, Kyungsoo reaches for a pen in his bag and a piece of napkin, nimble fingers moving as he writes down his number.
After he's done, Kyungsoo puts his pen down and gravely looks at Junmyeon. "I forgot to tell you something really important last night," he confesses. Junmyeon unconsciously braces himself. "I'm... leaving in four weeks, Junmyeon. When I said that I work in the music industry, I meant that I'm just a summer intern at EXO Music and I'm actually going back to Los Angeles after to finish up my last year of grad school."
The little napkin where Kyungsoo had written his number on is trapped in between his fingertips, seemingly so close but still so far away from Junmyeon's reach. "I'd be happy to hang out with you again, really, but please know that I'm not looking to start up something else other than-"
Junmyeon almost chokes on his drink. "Oh-um-yeah, about that. Actually. I just got out of a relationship and, frankly, I don't really have any plans on being in another one so soon."
This must've lifted quite a huge burden off of Kyungsoo's shoulders because Junmyeon practically hears him breathe a rather unmistakable sigh of relief after that. "Well, that's good. At least now we know where each other stands." He smiles then, finally sliding the folded napkin across the table. "Here's my phone number."
Junmyeon accepts it with a barely repressed smile. "Great," he says, unable to mask the enthusiasm in his voice. "I'll definitely call you."
Junmyeon makes good on his promise and calls Kyungsoo the next day.
"Hey," he greets as soon as Kyungsoo picks up on the other line. "So-uh. It's me, Junmyeon."
Kyungsoo laughs, a breathy sound passing through the receiver. "Yeah, I know. Didn't think you'd call so soon." Junmyeon can't help but feel a little embarrassed because, honestly, he didn't think he'd end up calling Kyungsoo so soon either. But Junmyeon has never been one to waste opportunities so-
"Well, you only have a month left here in Seoul, so I figured, maybe, we can start hanging out this early," Junmyeon reasons lamely. The truth is, he can't seem to stop himself from wanting to be as physically close as possible to Kyungsoo. It's not entirely his sexual urges speaking, but there's just something comforting about having Kyungsoo within his reach. "So-uh. I'm calling to ask if you have time for dinner with me tonight."
Junmyeon only realizes that he had his fingers crossed under the table all this time when Kyungsoo finally says yes to his invitation.
"Alright, I'll text you the address then," Junmyeon says. Eventually, he bids goodbye and ends the call, an ear-splitting smile firmly affixed on his face.
Junmyeon almost gets the shock of his life when he looks up and suddenly sees Chanyeol sitting in front of his desk, staring at him knowingly. Junmyeon groans; judging by the infuriating smirk on those lips, Junmyeon is sure that Chanyeol definitely knows what's up. "How long have you been sitting there, Chanyeol?"
Chanyeol shrugs. "Oh, you know, just long enough to know that you're going out with that Kyungsoo guy again tonight," he says, grinning. Chanyeol then rests his chin on one of his hands, looking imploringly at Junmyeon. "Tell me something, hyung-how do you manage to get dumped and quickly find another hook up in the span of 24 hours? Because I'm pretty sure that's really unjust to all the sad, bitter guys out there who don't have as much luck as you do."
Junmyeon just laughs and shakes his head in response. "You can think whatever you want, Chanyeol, but Kyungsoo and I-we're really not like that. We're honestly just friends." Who enjoy each other's company in and out of bed, Junmyeon silently adds in his head.
Chanyeol gives him a deadpan look. "I've heard that line so many times, hyung, and that's not going to work on me."
"But it's the tru-"
"Actually, hold that thought," Chanyeol rudely cuts in. "I suddenly remember I still have a bunch of paperwork I need to submit today. Gotta go! You can try and convince me some other time, hyung!"
Chanyeol manages to exclaim, "have fun hanging out with your friend tonight!" before finally moving across the room on his rolling chair. Junmyeon can't help but facepalm in embarrassment.
Dinner surprisingly goes well that night-actually, even better than Junmyeon had expected. On a whim, he decides to bring Kyungsoo to a little hole-in-the-wall place that one of his friends own and makes sure to order their specialty for Kyungsoo to taste. They end up with a bottle of soju to share, along with conversations that don't seem to end at one point and silly, drunken kisses to punctuate the night.
Later that evening, Junmyeon takes a picture of their food and puts it up on his Instagram account.
They continue to see each other after that. Sometimes, they meet at a cozy, little coffee shop on rare mornings when they both don't have work.
Sometimes, when Kyungsoo feels like being on a little adventure, Junmyeon accompanies him as they walk around the streets of Seoul, discovering quaint cafes and obscurely located trinket shops in the process.
Sometimes, they take random trips to the beach, too. (And this is where Junmyeon likes to bring Kyungsoo to the most-because it's an entirely different experience to see him and hold him and kiss the laugh from his lips here.)
And then, there are those other times where they don't even have to go out at all, when Junmyeon's tiny apartment is enough for the two of them. Ever since Kyungsoo mentioned how often he cooked for himself back in America, Junmyeon basically made it a mission to coerce Kyungsoo to show him his skills in the kitchen. (And Junmyeon ends up with a happy stomach every single time he succeeds.)
They say time flies by for a person when they're having fun and, in Junmyeon's case, it felt like the days just whizzed past him without a warning. The reality of their situation suddenly begins to crash down on Junmyeon when he opens his Twitter account one afternoon and sees Kyungsoo's latest tweet.
Quickly, Junmyeon grabs his phone and dials Kyungsoo's number, fingers tapping against the edge of his desk as he repeats the very thing he wants to say to Kyungsoo over and over again in his head. Junmyeon only has to wait for a few more rings before Kyungsoo eventually picks up.
"Hey, you," Kyungsoo greets. Junmyeon hears the honking of cars and the familiar buzz of conversation in the background and wonders if Kyungsoo just got out of his work building.
"Hey," Junmyeon responds meekly. "So...I know that it's your last day at work today."
"Do you realize that you sound like a real stalker right now?" Kyungsoo teases. Junmyeon doesn't have to see him to know that Kyungsoo's smiling on the other line, eyes crinkling into crescents like they usually do. "But, yes, it is. I just got out of work now, actually."
"Guess I just caught you right on time, huh," Junmyeon says. He bites down on his lower lip, wondering if it's okay for him to just go straight to the point. Junmyeon reasons that there's no point in beating around the bush, anyway, so he does, "So, listen. Since it's your last night here in Seoul, I was wondering if you would allow me to take you out for a nice, farewell dinner?"
"Do I ever say no to your invitations for food?" Kyungsoo playfully asks instead.
A loud laugh suddenly tumbles out from his mouth, catching the attention of a few of his coworkers around him. Junmyeon's cheeks color in embarrassment but, entirely, he's pretty unmindful of all the weird stares he's getting. (Speaking of weird stares, Junmyeon's sure he can feel Chanyeol's piercing gaze directed right at him from across the room) "No, not really. And I'd like to think my irresistible charms have at least something to do with that."
It's Kyungsoo's turn to laugh this time. "Hmm. Maybe."
Junmyeon ducks his head down as more heat climbs up to his cheeks. He feels so giddy like a fucking school girl and it's absolutely ridiculous. "I'll see you tonight then?"
"Yeah. See you, Junmyeon," Kyungsoo answers, practically breathes into the phone, before finally hanging up.
It takes a while before Junmyeon can get a hold of himself, the ear-splitting grin still on his face. A burst of excitement runs through his veins and it makes Junmyeon feel so restless and unable to concentrate on anything else. It's no surprise when Junmyeon finds himself really looking forward to dinner tonight.
God, he can't wait to see Kyungsoo.
The look on Kyungsoo's face when Junmyeon finally brings him to the restaurant that night is priceless.
"Isn't this too fancy for a simple farewell dinner?" Kyungsoo whispers. The waiter already left their table with their orders, but Kyungsoo still can't seem to get over the fact that most of the food prices listed on the restaurant's menu are practically worth more than he can actually afford.
Junmyeon tries not to sigh for the fiftieth time. He can't even remember how many times he had to tell Kyungsoo to relax and not worry about it for the past few minutes alone. "Kyungsoo," Junmyeon starts patiently, "this is literally the last thing you'll eat here in Korea before you leave tomorrow morning. I don't think there's anything wrong with indulging ourselves on your last day."
"I-yeah. Okay, I guess you're right," Kyungsoo answers, all the fight going out of his body just like that.
Junmyeon smiles, glad that Kyungsoo isn't being his usual stubborn self. He musters up enough courage to reach across the table and hold Kyungsoo's hand. "Let's just enjoy tonight, okay? We didn't spend the last four weeks having the best time of our lives just for you to spoil it on your last day."
"I'll try my best," Kyungsoo says, laughing. He sobers up after a few seconds, however, the almost somber expression back on his face. "But it really sucks that this is our last night."
"I know. I can't believe time just flew by so fast like that." Junmyeon's grip on Kyungsoo's hand instinctively tightens, and Kyungsoo slowly turns his palm up so they can link their fingers together. "I want you to know that I've had such an amazing time with you, Kyungsoo. It's been such a good four weeks and, honestly, I'm not sure if I'm ready for it all to end already."
Junmyeon ends that little confession with a tired laugh. Kyungsoo, on the other hand, only keeps his silence-not even a sarcastic remark or a hum of agreement like Junmyeon had expected. There's something in Kyungsoo's expression that he can't quite figure out, however, and it makes Junmyeon a little sad and frustrated to realize that even after all these weeks they've spent together, Junmyeon still doesn't know him all that well.
But Junmyeon doesn't want to dwell on that, especially on Kyungsoo's last night, so he tries to cast his worries aside and puts on a smile instead, even though the upturn of his lips feel so wrong and so out of place. "Hey, but who knows? Maybe you'll come back one day, and then we'll be able to do this all over again."
Their food arrives just in time, and Junmyeon can't thank the gods enough that he's somewhat spared from further ruining their evening together.
Turns out their dinner was actually not the last thing Kyungsoo would eat tonight, not if you count Junmyeon's ass up in the air as he bends on all fours, pliant and so ready for Kyungsoo's taking.
Junmyeon can't hold off the moan that falls from his parted lips when Kyungsoo spreads his asscheeks even further and slowly, torturously, drags the flat of his tongue over his pucker. It feels so fucking good and Junmyeon relishes in the spike of pleasure that hits him when Kyungsoo does it again, his tongue gentle and soothing as he licks Junmyeon over and over in long, even strokes.
It isn't long before Kyungsoo is putting on a condom and slicking himself up, burying himself inside Junmyeon in one go. Kyungsoo doesn't even wait for Junmyeon to adjust; he fucks into him hard and rough, fingers leaving bruises on Junmyeon's hips as he holds onto him tight. Junmyeon is used to bottoming by now, but the way Kyungsoo takes him tonight is unlike anything he'd ever experienced before.
Kyungsoo fucks him with a desperation and urgency that Junmyeon can't quite understand, drives himself so hard inside Junmyeon, over and over and over again, that air rushes out of his lungs with every thrust. It's definitely different-the way Kyungsoo doesn't hold back with each cant of his hips, the way he doesn't hesitate to mark Junmyeon with a hickey or a bite mark or a bruise that blossoms against his pale skin, the way Kyungsoo just gives and gives and gives, until Junmyeon can't finally take it anymore.
When Kyungsoo comes with a sharp intake of breath, Junmyeon just following suit moments after, Junmyeon tries not to think about the heavy feeling weighing down in his chest. He tries not to savor the feeling of Kyungsoo's lips on his nape, the soft, lingering kiss he places on Junmyeon's skin right after.
And Junmyeon absolutely tries not to think about everything that happened that night while they're on their way to the airport the next morning, Kyungsoo's luggages taking up the whole space that the backseat of his car has to offer.
The short trip to the airport is a quiet affair. Junmyeon doesn't know if he's the only one who can feel it, but there's the unmistakable change in the atmosphere between them and he isn't really sure how to deal with it. He chances a quick glance at Kyungsoo on his right and sees him gazing at the window, seemingly lost in his own thoughts.
When they eventually arrive, Junmyeon feels ridiculously at lost for words.
"So I guess this is it," Kyungsoo says then, saving both of them from the awkward silence that comes with separation. The smile Kyungsoo directs at him is a little strained on the edges, Junmyeon can tell, but Junmyeon knows he can't ask for anything more than that, not when the best he can give Kyungsoo is a smile that doesn't even reach his eyes.
Kyungsoo leans forward to give him a hug and Junmyeon tries so hard not to give in to that little voice inside his head and cage Kyungsoo in his arms at that moment. "Take good care of yourself, okay?" he whispers instead. When he feels Kyungsoo nod against his shoulder, Junmyeon forces himself to pull away, lest he ends up doing something really stupid and out of line.
Kyungsoo doesn't look at him right in the eye after that. He gets out of Junmyeon's car in a hurry, like he can't bear to be in Junmyeon's company for a second longer, and opens the backseat door to get his things.
"Let me help you with-"
"No!" Kyungsoo exclaims, taking Junmyeon by surprise. "No, it's alright. I can do this by myself. These aren't really too heavy for me."
And that's that.
Junmyeon helplessly watches Kyungsoo walk away from his car and into the airport doors, waits for him to disappear among the growing crowd. The heavy feeling from last night is still there, never fizzling out like he had hoped it would. But instead, it's gotten considerably worse, something that he can't quite ignore anymore, making his chest ache and his breath stutter in his throat.
Admittedly, Junmyeon knows what he wants. He knows what he needs to do. He's very much knowledgeable about the fact that he has these feelings for Kyungsoo that just won't go away no matter how hard he tries. And it only takes that one moment, that one single second of self-realization, for Junmyeon to practically leap out from the driver's seat to run inside the airport and find Kyungsoo again.
Junmyeon grimaces and realizes how much this feels like a fucking cliche movie right now-with him running around the airport after making up some lame excuse just so the security guard could let him in. Now, there's practically nothing left to do but hope that he can find his happy ending, too.
Junmyeon does, thankfully, after a few minutes of frantically searching for his familiar short stature and that tuft of brown hair.
"Do Kyungsoo!" Junmyeon calls out loud. A few people who are patiently waiting in line turn around to look at him but Junmyeon doesn't really have it in himself to feel anything but relief right now, not when Kyungsoo is here, just a few steps away from him.
Junmyeon jogs to where Kyungsoo is, stops in front of him just as Kyungsoo opens his mouth and asks, "What are you doing here?"
"I can't do it," Junmyeon gasps, his breath coming out in puffs. His hand immediately seeks out for Kyungsoo's to hold and Kyungsoo just lets him, much to Junmyeon's satisfaction. "I'm sorry, I really can't."
"Can't do what?" Kyungsoo asks. "Junmyeon, what's going on?"
"Kyungsoo, I know this isn't supposed to happen. I know this isn't a part of our plan when we decided to be friends and go out and spend the entirety of your stay here in Korea together. But I just can't stop myself from wanting to be close to you all the time," Junmyeon confesses, his heart beating so loud in his ears. "I can't stop myself from wanting this-whatever we have-to be real, to be something definite."
"Please tell me you want this, too," Junmyeon continues, practically begs. He's holding Kyungsoo's hand so tight in his grasp, like he's too afraid that Kyungsoo will vanish if Junmyeon's touch escapes his. "Please tell me I'm not reading the signs wrong, that I'm not the only one feeling this way."
Silence hangs between them for a few seconds, but Junmyeon feels like they're the longest, most distressing seconds of his entire life.
"You're not," Kyungsoo eventually admits. "I like you, too. I really, really do. But I can't stay here, Junmyeon. I have to go and finish my studies, be with my family, do things. I have my whole life back in LA and I-I can't-"
Junmyeon cradles Kyungsoo's face in his hands and feels the overwhelming urge to kiss the worried crease off his eyebrows. "Hey. I'm not asking you to stay here nor to drop everything for me, Kyungsoo. I just-I'm just asking if I can continue seeing you after this. Because I don't want to lose you. I'm going to hate myself for the rest of my life if I just let you go without at least doing something."
Kyungsoo looks like he wants to say something, but can't find the right words to thoroughly express what he feels. So, Junmyeon just decides to do it in his place. "You know what-fuck the miles. Fuck them," Junmyeon says. "I don't care if we're a thousand miles away from each other. Distance won't change the fact that I'm crazy about you, Kyungsoo."
Junmyeon must have spoken the magic words to snap Kyungsoo from his speechless state-Kyungsoo suddenly laughs just then, tears almost forming in his eyes, and it's an instinctive reaction for Junmyeon to gently wipe them away with his thumb. Kyungsoo proceeds to nuzzle his face against the warmth of Junmyeom's palm, and whispers, "That's good because, quite frankly, I'm crazy about you too, Kim Junmyeon."
Junmyeon smiles and thinks, believes, realizes that he's never felt happier.
There are so many downsides to being in a long distance relationship, and Junmyeon's never really thought about them all that much until now, until he's actually in the position of being in one.
Junmyeon easily comes to a conclusion that being in different time zones really sucks. He always has to consider their 17-hour difference before Junmyeon picks up his phone to text or call Kyungsoo, lest he does something thoughtless and wake him up at some ungodly hour. They try their hardest to get by, however, even though it practically means Junmyeon staying up until four in the morning sometimes just to talk to Kyungsoo for a little longer.
Junmyeon stares at his phone for a little more while, internally debating whether or not he should send another message to Kyungsoo. He doesn't really want to sound clingy or possessive but then, Junmyeon thinks sending him another one won't possibly hurt, right? His fingers hover over the keypad, lower lip bitten in hesitancy.
"What are you doing?" comes a sudden voice beside him. Junmyeon glances to his left and sees Jongdae imitating him, fingers moving as though they're typing using an invisible phone. Junmyeon rolls his eyes. His friends have made it an everyday thing to tease the hell out of him with every chance they get.
"Oh, me? You know, the usual--just being the completely whipped boyfriend that I am," Jongdae continues with the poorest imitation of Junmyeon's voice.
Junmyeon playfully punches Jongdae on the shoulder, which only makes Jongdae laugh heartily in response. "Stop moping there with your phone and get up, hyung. It's your turn to bowl."
It's a Friday night, and Junmyeon suggested they play pin bowling rather than party the night away like they usually did before. He'd kind of lessened his alcohol consumption ever since Kyungsoo left Korea three weeks ago, not because Kyungsoo told him not to drink anymore, but primarily because Junmyeon's just been too busy spending time with him almost every night-on Twitter, on Skype, on Snapchat, on the phone-to think about doing anything else.
Junmyeon tucks his phone back in his pocket and gets up from his seat, grabbing a handheld ball in the process as he walks away from their table. He takes his place and assumes position, all but ready to swing his hand and throw the ball-
-when his phone suddenly rings, catching Junmyeon completely off guard. He almost drops the ball in his haste when he takes his phone out and sees Kyungsoo's name on the screen.
"Hey, did I wake you up?" Junmyeon immediately asks. He'd feel really bad if those texts he sent earlier actually disturbed Kyungsoo in his sleep.
"No, not really. I just had to stay up and finish something for school," Kyungsoo answers. He sounds very much sleepy and tired on the other line and Junmyeon's heart breaks a little. The urge to fly over there and have Kyungsoo in his arms almost overwhelms him.
"Were you able to finish it, at least?"
"Hmm, yeah," comes Kyungsoo's reply, along with a yawn to punctuate his sentence.
Junmyeon can clearly picture Kyungsoo's sleepy face in his head, eyes blinking to keep himself awake, and can't hold back the tiny giggle that bubbles from his lips. "Go to sleep, Soo."
"'m sorry we can't talk for long," Kyungsoo mumbles, almost dragging out the words out of his mouth. "I promise I'll-"
"Hey, it's fine. I understand. We can talk again tomorrow when you're not busy or something, yeah?" Junmyeon says. It's eerily silent for a second and Junmyeon thinks Kyungsoo must have fallen asleep on him in his exhaustion. But then, he hears the familiar rustling of blankets before Kyungsoo's soft whisper of agreement reaches his ears.
They end the call eventually. Junmyeon decides to send Kyungsoo a Snapchat one last time.
When Junmyeon looks over at his friends again, he sees Jongdae resignedly shaking his head at him, his smile teasing and amused. "You're literally a lost cause, hyung-you're obviously head over heels for Kyungsoo."
Junmyeon shrugs. Maybe he is. But honestly? He doesn't really care.
Being away from each other also means missing Kyungsoo's hugs and kisses a whole fucking lot. And while Kyungsoo sometimes sends him Snapchats of his lips puckered up into a kiss, or his arms spread wide as though inviting Junmyeon for a warm hug, Junmyeon knows they're not enough.
They're never going to be enough-virtual hugs and kisses will never be as good as the real thing.
And maybe it's that reason alone that gets Junmyeon so damn jealous of the people who get to see and be with Kyungsoo everyday now that he's back in the States. It's not that Junmyeon doesn't fully trust Kyungsoo-how can he not when Kyungsoo has never given Junmyeon a reason to doubt him?
But Kyungsoo is likeable, very much so, and Junmyeon repeatedly tells himsef that it's only natural that he has a lot of close friends that Junmyeon doesn't know or doesn't ever recall Kyungsoo mentioning to him. Still, that doesn't stop the green-eyed monster from rearing its ugly head when he sees
It really doesn't help that Jongdae had pulled him aside the other day just to ask him what the real deal is between him and Kyungsoo, only for Junmyeon to come up with nothing but a shrug as his answer. Junmyeon realizes that they've both been too caught up in their emotions that he and Kyungsoo never really made their relationship clear before he left.
Which, again, reminds Junmyeon of the terrible fact that he does feel just a teensy bit jealous at whoever this Baekhyun guy is.
Junmyeon's fingers seem to have a mind of their own as they furiously press on the keypad with much intent, sending a quick reply to Kyungsoo's tweet before Junmyeon is even fully aware of what he's doing.
As soon as it goes through, Junmyeon feels just as ridiculous as the content of his reply because there is absolutely no reason for him to act like this, especially over someone who Junmyeon doesn't really know anything about. But the deed is already done, and Junmyeon can do nothing now but wait in tense anticipation.
Junmyeon doesn't have to wait long-his phone pings and Kyungsoo's reply comes in the form of a Snapchat.
And then along with
While Junmyeon honestly feels a little guilty for how he reacted in regards to Kyungsoo's tweet earlier, Junmyeon can't deny the fact that there's a giddy smile that he can't quite wipe off of his face after reading Kyungsoo's text messages. He was really hoping to talk to Kyungsoo about their relationship, clarify what they are and where they each stand in their lives right now, and it seems like Junmyeon got what he wanted and more.
(
"I love you," Junmyeon says again. The digital clock on the bedside table tells him it's almost five in the morning. He and Kyungsoo have been talking for about three hours now but, oddly enough, Junmyeon still feels so awake. The warmth that spreads across his chest and makes his toes and fingers curl in happiness might have something to do with it, though. "And I can't wait to say it to you in person very, very soon."
)
one | two | three
nc-17; romance, fluff, angst; suho/d.o, mentions of xiumin/baekhyun, past!suho/zitao; 23,637 words
warnings: explicit smut, drunk sex
summary: it's a horrible clichè, but absence really can make the heart grow fonder (or so that's what junmyeon tells himself over and over again).
a/n: originally written as a pinch hit fic for the second round of capsandpizzas. (just a heads up! it may be kind of image heavy at some parts.)
Junmyeon frowns as he looks at himself in his handheld mirror. He can't believe this. He can't fucking believe this just happened to him. He's pretty sure he's never done anything to warrant this ugly bruise on his cheek. Or, well, that was what he believed in an hour ago before Tao apparently thought otherwise and punched him straight in the face after their break-up.
Sure, he's not a perfect boyfriend and maybe he's never had any real luck with his past relationships before, but Junmyeon swears this one has got to be the worst one out of all of them.
Gingerly, Junmyeon touches the bruise forming on his cheek with careful fingers and immediately winces when it throbs. Damn, it still hurts like hell. He lays the ice pack on his cheekbone again and holds it steady in place. A part of his face feels hot, like a terrible sunburn, and the pack's cold contents bring little relief. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Jongdae and Chanyeol staring at him, shoulders shaking in obvious amusement.
Junmyeon throws a glare in their direction. "I don't think there's any reason why you two should be laughing right now."
"Oh. But on the contrary, your face is actually too hilarious to look at, hyung," Chanyeol says, his tone void of any hint of shame or regret. Junmyeon briefly wonders if throwing this mirror can erase that huge grin off of Chanyeol's face.
In the end, Junmyeon just groans and gives up before he can even start an argument. His face hurts and he only has terrible people to call as his friends-Junmyeon thinks this is the kind of fate he wouldn't wish on anyone. Ever. "Can't you two show at least a little sympathy for me here?"
"Look, Junmyeon hyung," Jongdae starts, almost sobering up after he practically laughed his heart out at Junmyeon's expense earlier. "You're my best friend, my confidante, my brother-from-another-mother, my bosom buddy and all that shit, but I honestly think you deserve that."
What? Junmyeon can't believe what he just heard. "You think I deserve a punch on the face just because I didn't buy him a present for his birthday? Even though the guy basically told me not to get him one?"
"I don't think it's about the gift, hyung. I really think it's more than that." There's an unusual seriousness in Chanyeol's tone that makes Junmyeon feel uncomfortable in his own skin, like Chanyeol knows something that Junmyeon doesn't. Something that both of his friends have always been aware of.
"Do enlighten me then," Junmyeon says to Chanyeol, almost daring him to speak up and point out all of Junmyeon's shortcomings in his relationship with Tao. "Because, frankly, I don't know what happened. I have no idea how it suddenly came to this when we were so good together-"
"Hyung, seriously," Jongdae quickly cuts in, "do we really need to spell it out for you?"
Junmyeon looks at Jongdae in confusion, his eyebrows dragging together. "What?"
"I swear this happens every time. Every. Single. Time," Jongdae says, firmly enunciating every single word, as though doing so would help Junmyeon understand what he's trying to say. It doesn't, much to Jongdae's frustration, so he continues, never giving Junmyeon a chance to speak. "You get into these relationships but you don't ever fully commit. You never have-not since I've known you, and I've known you for a long ass time, hyung."
"That's not-"
"Please don't even try and defend yourself because it is true. It's been happening a lot. Over and over again. Chanyeol and I can't even count the number of times we had to sit here just to listen to you moan and be surprised after every break-up you go through."
Beside Jongdae, Junmyeon can see Chanyeol silently nodding his head, like he wholeheartedly agrees but is much too afraid to say anything else after what Jongdae just blurted out. Junmyeon is speechless, can't really get his brain to form coherent words as a response. Because, really, what can he even say to that? Junmyeon figures it's pretty much useless to reason with them, anyway, not when this has been glaringly obvious to both of his friends all along.
Junmyeon closes his eyes and sighs. The bruise on his cheek doesn't hurt as much as it did before, thanks to the cold compress pressed on his face the whole time. He takes a glance at himself in the mirror again-it's a good thing he looks decent enough to go out now, at least.
Junmyeon gets up from the couch. "Okay, you know what, I'm done with this conversation. I think I'm going to have a drink to clear my head or something."
This prompts Chanyeol and Jongdae to stand up as well, immediately taking their place on Junmyeon's side. Junmyeon lifts a questioning brow at them. Jongdae shrugs. "What? You obviously need our company because we all know your alcohol tolerance is practically nonexistent. So, being the good friends that we are, Chanyeol and I will make sure you won't embarrass yourself more so than usual."
Junmyeon shakes his head, smiling despite himself. He really has the most terrible and most ridiculous friends ever. "Fine," he says. "But you two are paying for your own drinks."
Junmyeon cautiously weaves through the throng of people with a full pitcher of beer in his hand, careful not to accidentally bump and spill it onto anyone in his way. The club is packed, as it usually is on a Friday night, with crowds of singles and groups lively dancing to the upbeat music pumped out by the overhead speakers. Everyone seems to be having a rather great time tonight and Junmyeon thinks this is exactly the kind of atmosphere that can help him clear his head and forget for a little while.
"I didn't know you plan on getting smashed tonight," Jongdae comments as soon as Junmyeon arrives at their table.
Junmyeon only answers by quickly tossing back a drink, his face contorting into a grimace when the bitter taste of beer hits the back of his tongue. Jongdae and Chanyeol watch him with amusement and concern, before eventually shrugging and pouring themselves a glass as well. Despite how subtle they think they're being, Junmyeon knows both Chanyeol and Jongdae are keeping an eye on him, and he hates it. Hates the feeling like he's a child that needs to be constantly looked after when, in reality, he's the oldest one among the three of them.
He's not about to ruin his night even more by making this a big deal, however, so Junmyeon just decides to let it slide, play the willful ignorance card at all the wary glances being thrown his way. He looks around to distract himself, taking in the sight of a gaggle of people dancing and laughing and having fun in what little cramped space the place has for a dance floor.
It's probably the alcohol making him think of really weird things but, suddenly, Junmyeon finds the idea of dancing (read: shamelessly grinding certain body parts against a total stranger) a little less horrible and a lot more inviting at this moment. Junmyeon catches himself getting up from his seat, as though lulled by the booming music and the heat of the club, walking towards the cramped dance floor-
-and spilling his drink on a rather unsuspecting person that just happened to pass by in front of him at that exact time. This immediately snaps Junmyeon from whatever strange trance he's in. But it's only after he sees the wet splotches now painted on the other guy's shirt does Junmyeon really realize what he's done.
"Oh, God, I'm sorry," Junmyeon says, frantic, still clutching his drink in one hand. His other hand, however, is just hovering awkwardly in the air because his brain is still trying to determine whether or not it's impolite to wipe away the remnants of the spilled beer on the guy's shirt. "I honestly didn't see you there. I was so-"
"Are you implying something about my height?"
At the sudden question, Junmyeon stops rambling and, as discreetly as he can, spends a second or two to take a good look at the guy standing in front of him.
Oh.
He's indeed a little short. Not much shorter than Junmyeon is, sure, but the height difference is still there at least.
And. Well. He's cute, too. Really, really cute.
But Junmyeon thinks he'd probably look a hundred times cuter without that murderous expression on his face. Junmyeon flails in panic, his free hand raised in a submissive gesture. "That's not what I meant!" he cries out, hoping his voice carries over the blaring music. "I wasn't talking about your height when I said that. Really! It's all my fault; I wasn't paying attention to my surroundings while I was walking. I'm really, really sorry. If you want, um, I'll pay for the dry cleaning of your shirt! Or if you'd rather buy a new one-"
"Hey, calm down," the guy says, cutting Junmyeon off mid-rant. Junmyeon belatedly notices the humor reflected on those eyes and the smile playing at the corners of his lips. "I was only kidding earlier. I'm not really angry or anything. It's fine."
"But your shirt-"
"You don't have to worry about that! It's no big deal."
"At least let me buy you a drink!" Junmyeon still insists, uncaring of the fact that he's probably scaring the hell out of this guy for being so obnoxiously persistent. "Or-I mean, we have a whole pitcher of beer back in our table and I'd feel like a complete shit if you don't have at least one glass of beer with me."
It sounds ridiculous even in Junmyeon's ears but, really, this is the only way he can think of to redeem himself, at least. The guy seems to consider Junmyeon's offer for a moment, his lower lip caged in between his teeth as he looks at Junmyeon with probing eyes. Junmyeon hopes he doesn't come off as a violent person to this guy, especially with the ugly bruise on his cheek, because he really doesn't need any more reason to embarrass himself even further. It's only when a smile finally appears on those lips again does Junmyeon release a sigh of relief.
"Okay, fine, if you insist. But just one drink," the guy says, holding a finger up. Junmyeon easily agrees with a smile of his own. "I'm Kyungsoo, by the way."
"Junmyeon," he simply replies as an introduction. They carefully make their way through the crowd, squeezing among an enormous sea of people until they finally reach Junmyeon's table.
"Hey," Junmyeon calls, making both Jongdae and Chanyeol look up from where they're sitting. "This is Kyungsoo. I hope you guys don't mind if he joins us for beer tonight."
"Hello there," Jongdae greets. There's a lingering suggestive curl at the corners of Jongdae's lips and, already, Junmyeon can tell that this is probably the worst thing he could've done to himself tonight. "And, sure, we don't mind. I'm glad Junmyeon's found someone to accompany him tonight. Other than us, of course."
Junmyeon kicks Jongdae hard under the table because, god, can he at least try and not ruin this for Junmyeon? Kyungsoo, on the other hand, doesn't seem to mind the joke and just laughs good-naturedly. "I'm only here for one drink, though, because Junmyeon feels sorry for accidentally spilling his beer on me and just won't take no for answer."
"So clumsy, hyung," Chanyeol teases with a twinkle of mischief in his eyes. Junmyeon wonders if it's a lot less painful to bang his head against the table than sit here and allow his friends to be extra terrible tonight.
In the end, the latter eventually happens and Junmyeon chalks it up to the fact that Jongdae and Chanyeol are both little shits who can willingly turn their charm on anytime just to have their way. What was supposed to be a one-drink-only invitation turns into an all-out drinking session and pretty soon, all four of them are giggling like little kids into their drinks-not completely hammered yet but definitely far from being sober.
It's Junmyeon's third full glass of beer when the music suddenly cranks up, the overhead speakers blaring with loud, annoying pop songs. This time, it's definitely the alochol in his system that drives Junmyeon to somewhat drunkenly launch himself out of his seat and pull Kyungsoo towards the dance floor.
Dancing is quite a dangerous activity for Junmyeon, considering how awful he is at it when he's sober. So, obviously, the awful part just turns into beyond embarrassing when he's drunk and doesn't have his usual control of his limbs. Kyungsoo doesn't seem to mind any of that, however, if the way he presses up against Junmyeon's front is any indication.
Junmyeon bravely lets his hands wander, slowly sliding his hands along Kyungsoo's hips, up to curl against his ribcage. Kyungsoo moves back against Junmyeon, just in time with the messy beat of the music, his body warm in all the places it presses against Junmyeon's.
When Kyungsoo turns around in his hold and kisses him, it both takes Junmyeon by surprise and, at the same time, doesn't surprise him at all. His head is still a little hazy with the intoxicating taste of beer on his tongue and he feels so hot, like there's a fire burning underneath his skin. Kyungsoo's hands are up at the back of his shirt, fingernails digging crescents into his skin, his teeth scraping against Junmyeon's lip. When they pull away moments later, the need for oxygen clutching at their lungs, Junmyeon just feels even more inebriated than before.
If Junmyeon wasn't too horny and buzzing with need right now, he could probably make a list of all the reasons why the next thing he's about to do is aptly categorized as The Most Terrible Idea of the Night, including but not limited to the fact that they're both obviously really tipsy, that Junmyeon just got out of a relationship a few hours ago, that he just met Kyungsoo and that he doesn't know anything of significance about him other than: 1) he works in the music industry and; 2) he's one hell of a great kisser.
But, as it is, Junmyeon doesn't have the will nor the capacity to curb his urges at this precise moment, so he throws all the fucks he can possibly give out the window and-
"Do you want to leave this place?" Junmyeon whispers loud enough for Kyungsoo to hear.
At Kyungsoo's nod, Junmyeon closes his fingers around Kyungsoo's wrist and tugs him away from the dance floor, sticking as close to him as he can through the multitude of people pressing against them at all sides. Their table is empty and Junmyeon doesn't have any idea where Jongdae and Chanyeol are but he thinks they'll understand if he leaves them early tonight, anyway-he'll just have to find a way to explain his situation to them tomorrow.
Junmyeon has little time to gasp in relief once the cold night air outside hits him hard before he's moving again and shoving themselves inside a cab.
It's definitely a miracle that they even manage to keep their clothes on while they're on their way to Junmyeon's apartment, considering how the atmosphere between them is so thick and charged with undeniable need. Junmyeon tries to keep his hands to himself the whole time, knowing that he won't be able to stop himself once he starts.
It's like a switch suddenly turns on, however, once they're both out of the cab and a step just past into the doorway of Junmyeon's bedroom.
Junmyeon pushes Kyungsoo right up against the door as soon as it closes with a loud thud, his lips attaching to Kyungsoo's neck. Kyungsoo tips his head back to give Junmyeon's mouth more skin to work with, and Junmyeon grabs this opportunity to latch onto a patch of Kyungsoo's throat, the spot just above his clavicle, and suck until Junmyeon's sure he's left a purple-red bruise on Kyungsoo's skin.
Kyungsoo groans as soon as he realizes what Junmyeon has done and it isn't long before Junmyeon finds himself being pushed onto his own bed, trapped under Kyungsoo's heated gaze and wandering hands.
"Will you remember all of this tomorrow?" Junmyeon breathes out. Kyungsoo's lips are just right there, just a few centimeters away from his, thick and glistening and so very tempting for Junmyeon to claim again. But Junmyeon forces himself to resist, because while he's very much into the idea of having another round of intense make out session (which may hopefully lead to him getting laid tonight), Junmyeon thinks it's really no fun if he's the only one who's going to remember all the glory details the next morning.
Kyungsoo laughs-more like a drunk giggle than anything. "I'm just a little buzzed, Junmyeon," he teases, "so, yes, I think I will." Kyungsoo takes the initiative this time and leans down to drop a kiss at the corner of Junmyeon's mouth, soft and quick but just enough to make Junmyeon's head spin with want. "Actually, I don't think I'll be forgetting about this anytime soon."
Well, fuck, if that didn't just make Junmyeon's cock twitch in excitement inside his pants.
Their clothes can't come off soon enough after that. Junmyeon digs his blunt fingernails into Kyungsoo's shoulders and hitches his legs around Kyungsoo's waist, a groan slipping past his lips every time Kyungsoo grinds their hips together. Adrenaline is coursing right through his veins and Junmyeon feels like his body is pounding with the beat of his heart that won’t slow down.
"Want to fuck you," Kyungsoo blurts against the crook of his neck. The breath that fans across Junmyeon's skin makes him shiver.
It takes a few seconds for the words to register in Junmyeon's lust-addled brain, but when they finally do, Junmyeon can't stop the groan that rumbles from his throat. Junmyeon can't actually remember the last time he bottomed for somebody and doing it now, with someone he just met at the club, is all kinds of thrilling and worrying at the same time. Junmyeon blindly reaches for the bottle of lube and some condoms from his bedside drawer, his fingers fumbling through a couple of other things before he finally finds them.
Kyungsoo takes the bottle from Junmyeon's hand without any hesitation and squirts some lube onto his fingers, coating them generously. A shiver runs through Junmyeon's entire body when a slick finger starts probing his entrance, breath hitching in his throat when Kyungsoo doesn't stop, only presses in further.
It isn’t long before Kyungsoo's adding a second finger, stretching Junmyeon even more. When Kyungsoo's fingers accidentally brush against Junmyeon's prostrate just when he's about to pull them out, Junmyeon doesn’t even stop himself from moaning out long and loud, his hands fisting in the sheets, because, god, that feels so good. Kyungsoo grins and leans down to press a kiss to his cheek, fingers still moving in a steady rhythm.
Junmyeon feels like his body is on fire from head to toe-his skin burns from the pleasure, thoroughly consumes him inside out-and his patience is already running thin. He's so riled up that Kyungsoo's fingers aren’t just enough anymore, not what he wants, not what he needs. His cock is hard and stupid with arousal, lying seemingly forgotten between them, and Junmyeon really, really wants to touch himself to slake some of his desire, try to alleviate the gnawing need in his belly.
But when those curling fingers leave him and Kyungsoo finally slides inside, pushing in as slowly as he can, Junmyeon can’t help but abandon his plan and hold onto Kyungsoo a little bit tighter instead, clawing at his shoulders. It's been way too long since he'd had a cock up his ass, and Junmyeon moans at the delicious feeling of being filled again, of feeling so full like he can't fucking breathe.
It takes a few seconds before Kyungsoo starts to slide out of him, watching Junmyeon's expression carefully. Whatever he sees in Junmyeon’s face, Kyungsoo seems to decide that it’s enough, and the grip he has on Junmyeon's hips tightens before he slams back in. A loud gasp slips from Junmyeon’s lips, all the air leaving his lungs in a rush at the sudden movement.
Kyungsoo sets a steady rhythm at first, his thrusts slow and precise, but it's definitely nowhere close to what Junmyeon wants tonight so he makes sure to tighten his thighs around Kyungsoo’s waist, grabbing his ass to pull him even closer. The action only makes Kyungsoo groan, his cock sliding in a little deeper than usual as he cants his hips harder against Junmyeon. Junmyeon’s fingers claw wildly at Kyungsoo’s shoulders, his back bowed up off the bed as Kyungsoo continues to thrust in and out of him. He's drenched in sweat, and he can feel every beat of his heart everywhere-but especially where Kyungsoo is inside him, stretching him, filling him full.
It’s starting to get a little too much, and with Kyungsoo expertly shifting his angle just a little bit, moving inside him all surging, hungry need and hitting his prostate over and over again, Junmyeon knows he’s dangerously close to falling over the edge.
Junmyeon comes after one particularly hard thrust and it's as sudden and sharp as a whiplash, white exploding even behind his eyelids. The intensity of his release crashes over him in waves, momentarily making him blind and taking his breath away.
It isn’t long before Kyungsoo follows; a few more stuttered thrusts and he finally comes, his face buried in Junmyeon's chest. Kyungsoo lets out a low groan, his hips still ramming into Junmyeon as he rides their orgasms out.
Eventually, Kyungsoo's cock slips out of him, a faint whimper bubbling from his lips, and he proceeds to take the vacant space on Junmyeon's left. For a moment none of them speak, too busy trying to catch their breaths and calm their thundering hearts. And then-
Kyungsoo starts, "That was..."
"Yeah," Junmyeon easily agrees, laughing. He's smiling like an idiot and his hair is a mess and his thighs are still spread wide. He feels so damn sore but still so, so good. It's probably one of the effects of the alcohol still in his system but Junmyeon feels insanely light and happy all of a sudden.
Kyungsoo doesn't say anything more after that, opts to just quietly take space beside Junmyeon, feeling lazy and spent. Junmyeon doesn't mind, not really, not when the contented smile Kyungsoo gives him already says enough.
It's the movement of someone getting out of his bed that wakes Junmyeon up the next morning.
The spectacular headache that greets Junmyeon the moment he opens his eyes is entirely unsurprising. Seeing Kyungsoo already up and stealthily trying to pick up his clothes and dress himself by the side of Junmyeon's bed, however, is something that Junmyeon never really expected to witness.
"Good morning," Junmyeon greets, frowning. His throat feels so raw and scratchy.
Kyungsoo starts at his voice, dropping one of the socks he's holding in his grasp. Slowly, he turns around, and it almost makes Junmyeon laugh to see that caught-in-the-headlight expression painted on his face. He was clearly not expecting Junmyeon to be awake. Junmyeon tries to stop himself from smiling too much-damn, how can someone be so cute so early in the morning?
Junmyeon clears his throat. "You know," he says nonchalantly, "you could've been more successful in sneaking out if you just woke up fifteen minutes earlier and rolled off the bed."
Kyungsoo's expression soon morphs into one of embarrassment, a cute but awkward smile slipping on his face, and it's taking all of Junmyeon's willpower not to jump him right there and then. "I...really wasn't trying to sneak out?"
Junmyeon raises an eyebrow at him. "Yeah. You were just quietly gathering your clothes and tiptoeing across the floor."
Kyungsoo just laughs instead of giving any verbal answer, the sound carrying through the air and pulling Junmyeon's lips into a relieved smile. The early morning sun shines through his window, but Junmyeon knows the warmth spreading across his chest, down to his fingertips and toes, is caused by something else entirely.
Junmyeon then sits up, the blanket slipping down past his shoulders. He doesn't miss the way Kyungsoo's gaze lingers a little bit on his chest before coming back up to his face. "Do you want to, maybe, get some breakfast?"
Kyungsoo hums. "I guess food would be good."
They end up eating at a little diner a few blocks away from Junmyeon's apartment, sitting across from each other with their orders set in front of them. The place is nothing fancy, nor does it serve expensive food on their menu, but all of that don't really matter when Junmyeon hears Kyungsoo humming in satisfaction after taking his very first bite. Junmyeon doesn't even bother hiding the self-satisfied smile from Kyungsoo.
"Anyway, I really had a great time with you last night," Junmyeon starts after he's done chewing his food. Nevermind the fact that all they really did last night were get drunk and dance and have sex, but Junmyeon genuinely liked being in Kyungsoo's company. "And I was hoping I could get your number so we could hang out again soon."
"Oh," Kyungsoo says. He sounds surprised, like he hadn't really expected Junmyeon to suddenly ask him for that. And then, wordlessly, Kyungsoo reaches for a pen in his bag and a piece of napkin, nimble fingers moving as he writes down his number.
After he's done, Kyungsoo puts his pen down and gravely looks at Junmyeon. "I forgot to tell you something really important last night," he confesses. Junmyeon unconsciously braces himself. "I'm... leaving in four weeks, Junmyeon. When I said that I work in the music industry, I meant that I'm just a summer intern at EXO Music and I'm actually going back to Los Angeles after to finish up my last year of grad school."
The little napkin where Kyungsoo had written his number on is trapped in between his fingertips, seemingly so close but still so far away from Junmyeon's reach. "I'd be happy to hang out with you again, really, but please know that I'm not looking to start up something else other than-"
Junmyeon almost chokes on his drink. "Oh-um-yeah, about that. Actually. I just got out of a relationship and, frankly, I don't really have any plans on being in another one so soon."
This must've lifted quite a huge burden off of Kyungsoo's shoulders because Junmyeon practically hears him breathe a rather unmistakable sigh of relief after that. "Well, that's good. At least now we know where each other stands." He smiles then, finally sliding the folded napkin across the table. "Here's my phone number."
Junmyeon accepts it with a barely repressed smile. "Great," he says, unable to mask the enthusiasm in his voice. "I'll definitely call you."
Junmyeon makes good on his promise and calls Kyungsoo the next day.
"Hey," he greets as soon as Kyungsoo picks up on the other line. "So-uh. It's me, Junmyeon."
Kyungsoo laughs, a breathy sound passing through the receiver. "Yeah, I know. Didn't think you'd call so soon." Junmyeon can't help but feel a little embarrassed because, honestly, he didn't think he'd end up calling Kyungsoo so soon either. But Junmyeon has never been one to waste opportunities so-
"Well, you only have a month left here in Seoul, so I figured, maybe, we can start hanging out this early," Junmyeon reasons lamely. The truth is, he can't seem to stop himself from wanting to be as physically close as possible to Kyungsoo. It's not entirely his sexual urges speaking, but there's just something comforting about having Kyungsoo within his reach. "So-uh. I'm calling to ask if you have time for dinner with me tonight."
Junmyeon only realizes that he had his fingers crossed under the table all this time when Kyungsoo finally says yes to his invitation.
"Alright, I'll text you the address then," Junmyeon says. Eventually, he bids goodbye and ends the call, an ear-splitting smile firmly affixed on his face.
Junmyeon almost gets the shock of his life when he looks up and suddenly sees Chanyeol sitting in front of his desk, staring at him knowingly. Junmyeon groans; judging by the infuriating smirk on those lips, Junmyeon is sure that Chanyeol definitely knows what's up. "How long have you been sitting there, Chanyeol?"
Chanyeol shrugs. "Oh, you know, just long enough to know that you're going out with that Kyungsoo guy again tonight," he says, grinning. Chanyeol then rests his chin on one of his hands, looking imploringly at Junmyeon. "Tell me something, hyung-how do you manage to get dumped and quickly find another hook up in the span of 24 hours? Because I'm pretty sure that's really unjust to all the sad, bitter guys out there who don't have as much luck as you do."
Junmyeon just laughs and shakes his head in response. "You can think whatever you want, Chanyeol, but Kyungsoo and I-we're really not like that. We're honestly just friends." Who enjoy each other's company in and out of bed, Junmyeon silently adds in his head.
Chanyeol gives him a deadpan look. "I've heard that line so many times, hyung, and that's not going to work on me."
"But it's the tru-"
"Actually, hold that thought," Chanyeol rudely cuts in. "I suddenly remember I still have a bunch of paperwork I need to submit today. Gotta go! You can try and convince me some other time, hyung!"
Chanyeol manages to exclaim, "have fun hanging out with your friend tonight!" before finally moving across the room on his rolling chair. Junmyeon can't help but facepalm in embarrassment.
Dinner surprisingly goes well that night-actually, even better than Junmyeon had expected. On a whim, he decides to bring Kyungsoo to a little hole-in-the-wall place that one of his friends own and makes sure to order their specialty for Kyungsoo to taste. They end up with a bottle of soju to share, along with conversations that don't seem to end at one point and silly, drunken kisses to punctuate the night.
Later that evening, Junmyeon takes a picture of their food and puts it up on his Instagram account.
They continue to see each other after that. Sometimes, they meet at a cozy, little coffee shop on rare mornings when they both don't have work.
Sometimes, when Kyungsoo feels like being on a little adventure, Junmyeon accompanies him as they walk around the streets of Seoul, discovering quaint cafes and obscurely located trinket shops in the process.
Sometimes, they take random trips to the beach, too. (And this is where Junmyeon likes to bring Kyungsoo to the most-because it's an entirely different experience to see him and hold him and kiss the laugh from his lips here.)
And then, there are those other times where they don't even have to go out at all, when Junmyeon's tiny apartment is enough for the two of them. Ever since Kyungsoo mentioned how often he cooked for himself back in America, Junmyeon basically made it a mission to coerce Kyungsoo to show him his skills in the kitchen. (And Junmyeon ends up with a happy stomach every single time he succeeds.)
They say time flies by for a person when they're having fun and, in Junmyeon's case, it felt like the days just whizzed past him without a warning. The reality of their situation suddenly begins to crash down on Junmyeon when he opens his Twitter account one afternoon and sees Kyungsoo's latest tweet.
Quickly, Junmyeon grabs his phone and dials Kyungsoo's number, fingers tapping against the edge of his desk as he repeats the very thing he wants to say to Kyungsoo over and over again in his head. Junmyeon only has to wait for a few more rings before Kyungsoo eventually picks up.
"Hey, you," Kyungsoo greets. Junmyeon hears the honking of cars and the familiar buzz of conversation in the background and wonders if Kyungsoo just got out of his work building.
"Hey," Junmyeon responds meekly. "So...I know that it's your last day at work today."
"Do you realize that you sound like a real stalker right now?" Kyungsoo teases. Junmyeon doesn't have to see him to know that Kyungsoo's smiling on the other line, eyes crinkling into crescents like they usually do. "But, yes, it is. I just got out of work now, actually."
"Guess I just caught you right on time, huh," Junmyeon says. He bites down on his lower lip, wondering if it's okay for him to just go straight to the point. Junmyeon reasons that there's no point in beating around the bush, anyway, so he does, "So, listen. Since it's your last night here in Seoul, I was wondering if you would allow me to take you out for a nice, farewell dinner?"
"Do I ever say no to your invitations for food?" Kyungsoo playfully asks instead.
A loud laugh suddenly tumbles out from his mouth, catching the attention of a few of his coworkers around him. Junmyeon's cheeks color in embarrassment but, entirely, he's pretty unmindful of all the weird stares he's getting. (Speaking of weird stares, Junmyeon's sure he can feel Chanyeol's piercing gaze directed right at him from across the room) "No, not really. And I'd like to think my irresistible charms have at least something to do with that."
It's Kyungsoo's turn to laugh this time. "Hmm. Maybe."
Junmyeon ducks his head down as more heat climbs up to his cheeks. He feels so giddy like a fucking school girl and it's absolutely ridiculous. "I'll see you tonight then?"
"Yeah. See you, Junmyeon," Kyungsoo answers, practically breathes into the phone, before finally hanging up.
It takes a while before Junmyeon can get a hold of himself, the ear-splitting grin still on his face. A burst of excitement runs through his veins and it makes Junmyeon feel so restless and unable to concentrate on anything else. It's no surprise when Junmyeon finds himself really looking forward to dinner tonight.
God, he can't wait to see Kyungsoo.
The look on Kyungsoo's face when Junmyeon finally brings him to the restaurant that night is priceless.
"Isn't this too fancy for a simple farewell dinner?" Kyungsoo whispers. The waiter already left their table with their orders, but Kyungsoo still can't seem to get over the fact that most of the food prices listed on the restaurant's menu are practically worth more than he can actually afford.
Junmyeon tries not to sigh for the fiftieth time. He can't even remember how many times he had to tell Kyungsoo to relax and not worry about it for the past few minutes alone. "Kyungsoo," Junmyeon starts patiently, "this is literally the last thing you'll eat here in Korea before you leave tomorrow morning. I don't think there's anything wrong with indulging ourselves on your last day."
"I-yeah. Okay, I guess you're right," Kyungsoo answers, all the fight going out of his body just like that.
Junmyeon smiles, glad that Kyungsoo isn't being his usual stubborn self. He musters up enough courage to reach across the table and hold Kyungsoo's hand. "Let's just enjoy tonight, okay? We didn't spend the last four weeks having the best time of our lives just for you to spoil it on your last day."
"I'll try my best," Kyungsoo says, laughing. He sobers up after a few seconds, however, the almost somber expression back on his face. "But it really sucks that this is our last night."
"I know. I can't believe time just flew by so fast like that." Junmyeon's grip on Kyungsoo's hand instinctively tightens, and Kyungsoo slowly turns his palm up so they can link their fingers together. "I want you to know that I've had such an amazing time with you, Kyungsoo. It's been such a good four weeks and, honestly, I'm not sure if I'm ready for it all to end already."
Junmyeon ends that little confession with a tired laugh. Kyungsoo, on the other hand, only keeps his silence-not even a sarcastic remark or a hum of agreement like Junmyeon had expected. There's something in Kyungsoo's expression that he can't quite figure out, however, and it makes Junmyeon a little sad and frustrated to realize that even after all these weeks they've spent together, Junmyeon still doesn't know him all that well.
But Junmyeon doesn't want to dwell on that, especially on Kyungsoo's last night, so he tries to cast his worries aside and puts on a smile instead, even though the upturn of his lips feel so wrong and so out of place. "Hey, but who knows? Maybe you'll come back one day, and then we'll be able to do this all over again."
Their food arrives just in time, and Junmyeon can't thank the gods enough that he's somewhat spared from further ruining their evening together.
Turns out their dinner was actually not the last thing Kyungsoo would eat tonight, not if you count Junmyeon's ass up in the air as he bends on all fours, pliant and so ready for Kyungsoo's taking.
Junmyeon can't hold off the moan that falls from his parted lips when Kyungsoo spreads his asscheeks even further and slowly, torturously, drags the flat of his tongue over his pucker. It feels so fucking good and Junmyeon relishes in the spike of pleasure that hits him when Kyungsoo does it again, his tongue gentle and soothing as he licks Junmyeon over and over in long, even strokes.
It isn't long before Kyungsoo is putting on a condom and slicking himself up, burying himself inside Junmyeon in one go. Kyungsoo doesn't even wait for Junmyeon to adjust; he fucks into him hard and rough, fingers leaving bruises on Junmyeon's hips as he holds onto him tight. Junmyeon is used to bottoming by now, but the way Kyungsoo takes him tonight is unlike anything he'd ever experienced before.
Kyungsoo fucks him with a desperation and urgency that Junmyeon can't quite understand, drives himself so hard inside Junmyeon, over and over and over again, that air rushes out of his lungs with every thrust. It's definitely different-the way Kyungsoo doesn't hold back with each cant of his hips, the way he doesn't hesitate to mark Junmyeon with a hickey or a bite mark or a bruise that blossoms against his pale skin, the way Kyungsoo just gives and gives and gives, until Junmyeon can't finally take it anymore.
When Kyungsoo comes with a sharp intake of breath, Junmyeon just following suit moments after, Junmyeon tries not to think about the heavy feeling weighing down in his chest. He tries not to savor the feeling of Kyungsoo's lips on his nape, the soft, lingering kiss he places on Junmyeon's skin right after.
And Junmyeon absolutely tries not to think about everything that happened that night while they're on their way to the airport the next morning, Kyungsoo's luggages taking up the whole space that the backseat of his car has to offer.
The short trip to the airport is a quiet affair. Junmyeon doesn't know if he's the only one who can feel it, but there's the unmistakable change in the atmosphere between them and he isn't really sure how to deal with it. He chances a quick glance at Kyungsoo on his right and sees him gazing at the window, seemingly lost in his own thoughts.
When they eventually arrive, Junmyeon feels ridiculously at lost for words.
"So I guess this is it," Kyungsoo says then, saving both of them from the awkward silence that comes with separation. The smile Kyungsoo directs at him is a little strained on the edges, Junmyeon can tell, but Junmyeon knows he can't ask for anything more than that, not when the best he can give Kyungsoo is a smile that doesn't even reach his eyes.
Kyungsoo leans forward to give him a hug and Junmyeon tries so hard not to give in to that little voice inside his head and cage Kyungsoo in his arms at that moment. "Take good care of yourself, okay?" he whispers instead. When he feels Kyungsoo nod against his shoulder, Junmyeon forces himself to pull away, lest he ends up doing something really stupid and out of line.
Kyungsoo doesn't look at him right in the eye after that. He gets out of Junmyeon's car in a hurry, like he can't bear to be in Junmyeon's company for a second longer, and opens the backseat door to get his things.
"Let me help you with-"
"No!" Kyungsoo exclaims, taking Junmyeon by surprise. "No, it's alright. I can do this by myself. These aren't really too heavy for me."
And that's that.
Junmyeon helplessly watches Kyungsoo walk away from his car and into the airport doors, waits for him to disappear among the growing crowd. The heavy feeling from last night is still there, never fizzling out like he had hoped it would. But instead, it's gotten considerably worse, something that he can't quite ignore anymore, making his chest ache and his breath stutter in his throat.
Admittedly, Junmyeon knows what he wants. He knows what he needs to do. He's very much knowledgeable about the fact that he has these feelings for Kyungsoo that just won't go away no matter how hard he tries. And it only takes that one moment, that one single second of self-realization, for Junmyeon to practically leap out from the driver's seat to run inside the airport and find Kyungsoo again.
Junmyeon grimaces and realizes how much this feels like a fucking cliche movie right now-with him running around the airport after making up some lame excuse just so the security guard could let him in. Now, there's practically nothing left to do but hope that he can find his happy ending, too.
Junmyeon does, thankfully, after a few minutes of frantically searching for his familiar short stature and that tuft of brown hair.
"Do Kyungsoo!" Junmyeon calls out loud. A few people who are patiently waiting in line turn around to look at him but Junmyeon doesn't really have it in himself to feel anything but relief right now, not when Kyungsoo is here, just a few steps away from him.
Junmyeon jogs to where Kyungsoo is, stops in front of him just as Kyungsoo opens his mouth and asks, "What are you doing here?"
"I can't do it," Junmyeon gasps, his breath coming out in puffs. His hand immediately seeks out for Kyungsoo's to hold and Kyungsoo just lets him, much to Junmyeon's satisfaction. "I'm sorry, I really can't."
"Can't do what?" Kyungsoo asks. "Junmyeon, what's going on?"
"Kyungsoo, I know this isn't supposed to happen. I know this isn't a part of our plan when we decided to be friends and go out and spend the entirety of your stay here in Korea together. But I just can't stop myself from wanting to be close to you all the time," Junmyeon confesses, his heart beating so loud in his ears. "I can't stop myself from wanting this-whatever we have-to be real, to be something definite."
"Please tell me you want this, too," Junmyeon continues, practically begs. He's holding Kyungsoo's hand so tight in his grasp, like he's too afraid that Kyungsoo will vanish if Junmyeon's touch escapes his. "Please tell me I'm not reading the signs wrong, that I'm not the only one feeling this way."
Silence hangs between them for a few seconds, but Junmyeon feels like they're the longest, most distressing seconds of his entire life.
"You're not," Kyungsoo eventually admits. "I like you, too. I really, really do. But I can't stay here, Junmyeon. I have to go and finish my studies, be with my family, do things. I have my whole life back in LA and I-I can't-"
Junmyeon cradles Kyungsoo's face in his hands and feels the overwhelming urge to kiss the worried crease off his eyebrows. "Hey. I'm not asking you to stay here nor to drop everything for me, Kyungsoo. I just-I'm just asking if I can continue seeing you after this. Because I don't want to lose you. I'm going to hate myself for the rest of my life if I just let you go without at least doing something."
Kyungsoo looks like he wants to say something, but can't find the right words to thoroughly express what he feels. So, Junmyeon just decides to do it in his place. "You know what-fuck the miles. Fuck them," Junmyeon says. "I don't care if we're a thousand miles away from each other. Distance won't change the fact that I'm crazy about you, Kyungsoo."
Junmyeon must have spoken the magic words to snap Kyungsoo from his speechless state-Kyungsoo suddenly laughs just then, tears almost forming in his eyes, and it's an instinctive reaction for Junmyeon to gently wipe them away with his thumb. Kyungsoo proceeds to nuzzle his face against the warmth of Junmyeom's palm, and whispers, "That's good because, quite frankly, I'm crazy about you too, Kim Junmyeon."
Junmyeon smiles and thinks, believes, realizes that he's never felt happier.
There are so many downsides to being in a long distance relationship, and Junmyeon's never really thought about them all that much until now, until he's actually in the position of being in one.
Junmyeon easily comes to a conclusion that being in different time zones really sucks. He always has to consider their 17-hour difference before Junmyeon picks up his phone to text or call Kyungsoo, lest he does something thoughtless and wake him up at some ungodly hour. They try their hardest to get by, however, even though it practically means Junmyeon staying up until four in the morning sometimes just to talk to Kyungsoo for a little longer.
Junmyeon stares at his phone for a little more while, internally debating whether or not he should send another message to Kyungsoo. He doesn't really want to sound clingy or possessive but then, Junmyeon thinks sending him another one won't possibly hurt, right? His fingers hover over the keypad, lower lip bitten in hesitancy.
"What are you doing?" comes a sudden voice beside him. Junmyeon glances to his left and sees Jongdae imitating him, fingers moving as though they're typing using an invisible phone. Junmyeon rolls his eyes. His friends have made it an everyday thing to tease the hell out of him with every chance they get.
"Oh, me? You know, the usual--just being the completely whipped boyfriend that I am," Jongdae continues with the poorest imitation of Junmyeon's voice.
Junmyeon playfully punches Jongdae on the shoulder, which only makes Jongdae laugh heartily in response. "Stop moping there with your phone and get up, hyung. It's your turn to bowl."
It's a Friday night, and Junmyeon suggested they play pin bowling rather than party the night away like they usually did before. He'd kind of lessened his alcohol consumption ever since Kyungsoo left Korea three weeks ago, not because Kyungsoo told him not to drink anymore, but primarily because Junmyeon's just been too busy spending time with him almost every night-on Twitter, on Skype, on Snapchat, on the phone-to think about doing anything else.
Junmyeon tucks his phone back in his pocket and gets up from his seat, grabbing a handheld ball in the process as he walks away from their table. He takes his place and assumes position, all but ready to swing his hand and throw the ball-
-when his phone suddenly rings, catching Junmyeon completely off guard. He almost drops the ball in his haste when he takes his phone out and sees Kyungsoo's name on the screen.
"Hey, did I wake you up?" Junmyeon immediately asks. He'd feel really bad if those texts he sent earlier actually disturbed Kyungsoo in his sleep.
"No, not really. I just had to stay up and finish something for school," Kyungsoo answers. He sounds very much sleepy and tired on the other line and Junmyeon's heart breaks a little. The urge to fly over there and have Kyungsoo in his arms almost overwhelms him.
"Were you able to finish it, at least?"
"Hmm, yeah," comes Kyungsoo's reply, along with a yawn to punctuate his sentence.
Junmyeon can clearly picture Kyungsoo's sleepy face in his head, eyes blinking to keep himself awake, and can't hold back the tiny giggle that bubbles from his lips. "Go to sleep, Soo."
"'m sorry we can't talk for long," Kyungsoo mumbles, almost dragging out the words out of his mouth. "I promise I'll-"
"Hey, it's fine. I understand. We can talk again tomorrow when you're not busy or something, yeah?" Junmyeon says. It's eerily silent for a second and Junmyeon thinks Kyungsoo must have fallen asleep on him in his exhaustion. But then, he hears the familiar rustling of blankets before Kyungsoo's soft whisper of agreement reaches his ears.
They end the call eventually. Junmyeon decides to send Kyungsoo a Snapchat one last time.
When Junmyeon looks over at his friends again, he sees Jongdae resignedly shaking his head at him, his smile teasing and amused. "You're literally a lost cause, hyung-you're obviously head over heels for Kyungsoo."
Junmyeon shrugs. Maybe he is. But honestly? He doesn't really care.
Being away from each other also means missing Kyungsoo's hugs and kisses a whole fucking lot. And while Kyungsoo sometimes sends him Snapchats of his lips puckered up into a kiss, or his arms spread wide as though inviting Junmyeon for a warm hug, Junmyeon knows they're not enough.
They're never going to be enough-virtual hugs and kisses will never be as good as the real thing.
And maybe it's that reason alone that gets Junmyeon so damn jealous of the people who get to see and be with Kyungsoo everyday now that he's back in the States. It's not that Junmyeon doesn't fully trust Kyungsoo-how can he not when Kyungsoo has never given Junmyeon a reason to doubt him?
But Kyungsoo is likeable, very much so, and Junmyeon repeatedly tells himsef that it's only natural that he has a lot of close friends that Junmyeon doesn't know or doesn't ever recall Kyungsoo mentioning to him. Still, that doesn't stop the green-eyed monster from rearing its ugly head when he sees
It really doesn't help that Jongdae had pulled him aside the other day just to ask him what the real deal is between him and Kyungsoo, only for Junmyeon to come up with nothing but a shrug as his answer. Junmyeon realizes that they've both been too caught up in their emotions that he and Kyungsoo never really made their relationship clear before he left.
Which, again, reminds Junmyeon of the terrible fact that he does feel just a teensy bit jealous at whoever this Baekhyun guy is.
Junmyeon's fingers seem to have a mind of their own as they furiously press on the keypad with much intent, sending a quick reply to Kyungsoo's tweet before Junmyeon is even fully aware of what he's doing.
As soon as it goes through, Junmyeon feels just as ridiculous as the content of his reply because there is absolutely no reason for him to act like this, especially over someone who Junmyeon doesn't really know anything about. But the deed is already done, and Junmyeon can do nothing now but wait in tense anticipation.
Junmyeon doesn't have to wait long-his phone pings and Kyungsoo's reply comes in the form of a Snapchat.
And then along with
While Junmyeon honestly feels a little guilty for how he reacted in regards to Kyungsoo's tweet earlier, Junmyeon can't deny the fact that there's a giddy smile that he can't quite wipe off of his face after reading Kyungsoo's text messages. He was really hoping to talk to Kyungsoo about their relationship, clarify what they are and where they each stand in their lives right now, and it seems like Junmyeon got what he wanted and more.
(
"I love you," Junmyeon says again. The digital clock on the bedside table tells him it's almost five in the morning. He and Kyungsoo have been talking for about three hours now but, oddly enough, Junmyeon still feels so awake. The warmth that spreads across his chest and makes his toes and fingers curl in happiness might have something to do with it, though. "And I can't wait to say it to you in person very, very soon."
)
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