Cecilia and the silhouette saloon~
Prehaps a little earlyier then usuall for me to be writting in here.but quite a bits happend already and know i will probberly not have time till tommorow to write a propper entry.
for the life of me i couldnt get up today i was honestly contemplateing trying to spend till sunday in bed i kept haveing really wierd dreams about being beaten up by children and them drawing on me was rarther wierd and disturbing to say the least.i finally when mother decided it was a good idea to tear the curtains open as she said "time to do something productive" yeesh how pathetic.i went to the toilet to discover i had black ink all over my boxer shorts *i really shouldnt of worn white* and then realized remberd in a rarther merry mood last night greg had written alien tendrils across the top on my buttocks.im sure everyone wants to know about what colour underwear i have and what people have been writting on the dark side of my moon.
I feel so guilty i should be going to hospital to see my grandma but i had like 15 minutes befor they left and was pretty upset that i wasnt going to be ready in time but i will have to go sometime in the next couple days because from the sound of it doesnt sound like shes going to be about much more and im scared crapless now i dont think ive ever had someone i was actually close to or actually really cared about die...well apart from my dog and i cried like a little sissy when that happend.My dads being really wierd and out of his normal self i can tell its kind of shook him up.my mum befor she went explained to me whats actually going on because i was kind of left in the dark she told me how my grandma had breast cancer a while ago but never told anyone i cant believe how crazy that is what a trooper if i was her id probberly of made such a scene about it and thought i was going to die and kind of makes me think i hope i can just do what she does where she just bucks it up and says well just an obsticle and need to get over it and cant do that by fannying around.im scared if i see her it might of broken her though because she is meant to be in quite bad shape something to do with fluid on the chest some ulcer i think or something on her liver or kidney and an over inflammed kidney or liver which could be cancer it got all muchos confuseing for me to take in but sounds pretty well not to good to put it with a pinch of salt.its really wierd im not quite sure how i feel at the moement its all a really big shock and i know im going to sound like sucha nasty bastard but im going to try and just not dwel on it to much because ill probberly over think and annalyise it to much and blow it out of proportion and get way to upset.she will be okay though she has to be.
on another note nici just told me how like thier doing in long eaton and ilkeston if you dont look 21 there going to ask you for i.d and if you are 18 you have to wear a band of some sort to show you are at the legal drinking age.it sounds pretty mucked up and harsh and she said apparently rock city are doing it as well and if they are then citys going to suck even more i mean half the people who go thier arent even 18!half my friends arent even yet 18!i mean im not really in the mood to go tonight but just might to see if its true and how bad its going to be i cant believe how crap that is!
15:59 and ive already had way over my dayly amount of information to intake and cope with.
for the life of me i couldnt get up today i was honestly contemplateing trying to spend till sunday in bed i kept haveing really wierd dreams about being beaten up by children and them drawing on me was rarther wierd and disturbing to say the least.i finally when mother decided it was a good idea to tear the curtains open as she said "time to do something productive" yeesh how pathetic.i went to the toilet to discover i had black ink all over my boxer shorts *i really shouldnt of worn white* and then realized remberd in a rarther merry mood last night greg had written alien tendrils across the top on my buttocks.im sure everyone wants to know about what colour underwear i have and what people have been writting on the dark side of my moon.
I feel so guilty i should be going to hospital to see my grandma but i had like 15 minutes befor they left and was pretty upset that i wasnt going to be ready in time but i will have to go sometime in the next couple days because from the sound of it doesnt sound like shes going to be about much more and im scared crapless now i dont think ive ever had someone i was actually close to or actually really cared about die...well apart from my dog and i cried like a little sissy when that happend.My dads being really wierd and out of his normal self i can tell its kind of shook him up.my mum befor she went explained to me whats actually going on because i was kind of left in the dark she told me how my grandma had breast cancer a while ago but never told anyone i cant believe how crazy that is what a trooper if i was her id probberly of made such a scene about it and thought i was going to die and kind of makes me think i hope i can just do what she does where she just bucks it up and says well just an obsticle and need to get over it and cant do that by fannying around.im scared if i see her it might of broken her though because she is meant to be in quite bad shape something to do with fluid on the chest some ulcer i think or something on her liver or kidney and an over inflammed kidney or liver which could be cancer it got all muchos confuseing for me to take in but sounds pretty well not to good to put it with a pinch of salt.its really wierd im not quite sure how i feel at the moement its all a really big shock and i know im going to sound like sucha nasty bastard but im going to try and just not dwel on it to much because ill probberly over think and annalyise it to much and blow it out of proportion and get way to upset.she will be okay though she has to be.
on another note nici just told me how like thier doing in long eaton and ilkeston if you dont look 21 there going to ask you for i.d and if you are 18 you have to wear a band of some sort to show you are at the legal drinking age.it sounds pretty mucked up and harsh and she said apparently rock city are doing it as well and if they are then citys going to suck even more i mean half the people who go thier arent even 18!half my friends arent even yet 18!i mean im not really in the mood to go tonight but just might to see if its true and how bad its going to be i cant believe how crap that is!
15:59 and ive already had way over my dayly amount of information to intake and cope with.