(no subject)
You know, I'm excited that I'm going to be graduating in October, but I'm terrified as well. I've been thinking a lot lately about what I'm going to do when I graduate, and I know what I would like to do, but my worrying side has kicked in and it won't stop. I want to stay in Atlanta for a few reasons. But at the same time, I may not get a job that will be in Atlanta, or, I just may not be able to find a job in Atlanta that will allow me to pay the bills and I'll have to leave. I have options so to say. There are two. One, move back to Michigan and live with the parents, which is in a state where there is nothing going on for my career. Two, move in with my friend who will be moving to Virginia and mooch off of him until I can get on my feet. I do not want to do either of them. I can't even tell you how upset I would be at myself if I can't get a job in Atlanta and have to rely on someone else again. Also, going along with the job thing, I want a girlfriend right now, really badly, but because I don't know what's going on with my career, I don't know if it's the best idea. I'm afraid to do to whomever the same thing I did to someone else a long time ago. Get with them, become very close, and then have to move. Yeah, because I'm not a child anymore I could probably ask them to go with me, but I don't expect anyone to just pick up everything and move with me. Especially seeing as how if we were to get together tomorrow, it would be only six months that we would have been together. I'm so terrified of being alone, especially if I'm going to be going through a hard time trying to find a job, that I sometimes want to just not talk to anyone cause I'm in such a depressed mood. I really need to get on the ball and start sending out resumes and trying to get interviews. I also need to get a car, which I'll hopefully be able to get Donald's when he moves to Virginia, but I need to make sure I have a job that will allow me to pay the bills on it. AHHH, it won't stop. I've been so worried about what's going to be going on with those situations that I haven't really been worried about my school work, which isn't a good idea seeing as how they are all intertwined. I BSed a report really bad and it got me a decent grade, but that wasn't a good idea seeing as how other people's grades were riding on it. My mind has been in the clouds so much lately. I somewhat can't wait to go home to see everyone and try to forget about all my worries, but I'm sure it's not going to help completely. I don't know. I need counseling. lol. Well, I guess that's all I'll complain about today. Talk to you all later. Love you all and God Bless.
Jason Brunskowski
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