Rating: R
Pairings: Tony/McGee
Warnings: explicit slash, mentions of rape
Summary: After living with and helping out McGee for a year, Tony can't help but think that he's becoming more attached than he should be.
A/N: Takes place six months after the last chapter of my story, Reaching into the Darkness. The first chapter can be found
here. The whole story can be found on my FF.net account
AngstIsMyMiddleName. (Link is to the story.) Comments and concrit are love.
Love is what you’ve been through with somebody - James Thurber
McGee is doing better a year after his rape. He is less worried about being alone, has fewer nightmares, can sleep through the night more often. Occasionally he’ll have a bad dream, and you’ll have to go to him… but those are few and far between now. You never speak of the time you kissed, and neither does he. It becomes something you keep to yourselves, even if you can’t stop thinking about it. You eagerly recall the feeling of his body underneath yours, the softness of his skin, the taste. The memories creep into your dreams, and you’re worried that it will end up in something uncomfortable one morning. You already had to explain away a few instances of morning wood with a lie about a sexy woman. (You thought you noted disappointment in his eyes.) There is no tension at work or any issues between you, but you are worried about what you might want from, that it could destroy your friendship, that it could break him.
One night, as you begin to dream, you slowly realize that you are having a nightmare. You and McGee are in a small dark room, beaten and bloody. He is upset and in pain: flinching, moaning, whimpering, crying softly. You are consoling him, holding him close and assuring him it will all be okay. Three men come in, and you rise to your feet, ready to go with them. McGee clutches at the hem of your shirt in a silent protestation for you not to go. The men surprise you, bypassing you and going straight for McGee. The biggest one holds you back as you struggle viciously, crying out for him and begging for them to take you instead. Tears fall as his screams reach your ears. More hands grab hold of you. You thrash wildly, trying to throw them off.
“Tony!” a distant voice calls, “Tony, it’s me! I’m okay! Just wake up! Wake up!”
You are suddenly back in McGee’s apartment, staring around the living room with your chest heaving. McGee is looking at you worriedly, his green eyes wide, his hand on your shoulder. You suddenly realize that your eyes are burning with tears, your throat tight.
“You okay, Tony?”
“Yeah… yeah, I’m fine. It was just a nightmare,” you sigh.
“You wanna talk about it? It helped me…”
“It was just… we were being held somewhere. These guys came in and took you away… hurt you.”
“Was that… was that why you were yelling my name?” he asks cautiously.
“Yeah…”
He seems disappointed by your answer and says, “I’ve heard you say my name some other times, too.”
“McGee, look, don’t-“
“I don’t want an excuse, Tony! I just want the truth. Have you had… other dreams about me?”
“Yes.”
“What kind of dreams?”
You wet your lips and answer, “Really, really hot ones.”
“Why didn’t you tell me? You didn’t have to lie about it.”
“I didn’t want it to be awkward between us.”
“It was awkward when you were lying about it,” he says softly, then quickly changes tack to, “Tony, do you have feelings for me?”
A pause.
“Yes.”
“For how long?”
You swallow, and quietly reply, “Ever since we kissed six months ago. I can’t help it. I just… I think about what we did and how I felt, and it just… it just felt right.”
It is then that he kisses you. It is just a little peck on the lips, but grabs your attention. He looks at you for a moment before kissing you again, a bit harder this time. You automatically part your lips and grip the back of his head, exploring his mouth with your tongue. It quickly escalates into heated passion, nipping at each other’s lips, teeth clicking together. You push him down onto the couch, rutting against him until he pants out “Bed!”, causing you to nearly drag him to his feet. Clothing comes off, piling in the hallway as you make your way back to the bedroom, leaving only your boxers. You push him down onto the bed, kissing him fiercely. His fingers grip your hair, keeping you close. Your hands carefully roam his body, pinching his nipples briefly and moving down to his hips, thumbs caressing the bones there and dipping under the fabric of his boxers.
“What do ya want, Tim?”
“Want you… want you so bad…”
“You trust me?”
“With everything.”
You kiss him again, pulling down his boxers and freeing his erection. His legs work under you, trying to fully remove them fully. You gently nip at his bottom lip, taking his cock into your hand. His hips buck upwards. One arm reaches out and fumbles with the nightstand, finally producing a small tube of lubricant.
“And where did you get that?”
“Been waiting for this for a while now.”
He is smiling softly up at you, so you give his cock another tug, causing him to moan as you sneak the lube out of his hand. You slick up two of your fingers, carefully inserting one into his tight hole. He gasps loudly, clawing briefly at the back of your neck as you move it in and out. There is a strangled yell when you brush his prostate. You quickly insert another. He throws his head back against the pillow.
“Please-! Want you so bad! Pl-ngh!”
You begin slowly pressing into him, his legs now wrapped around your waist. He is gasping for breath as you carefully enter him. Once all the way in, you lean down to kiss him tenderly. Only then do you pull out and push back in, causing him to moan into your mouth, arms still threaded around your neck. You maintain a slow, steady pace, the memory of his suffering still fresh in your mind. His lips are locked onto yours, mouth working against yours at the same pace. Fingers run through your hair, caress your chest, dig into your shoulders. His tight, warm heat is the most amazing thing you’ve ever felt.
“I love you, Tim,” you pant, briefly breaking the kiss.
“I love you, too. Love you so much.”
He kisses you again, his eyes squeezed shut.
“Here, look at me,” you say softly, caressing his face.
His eyes flutter open, locking onto yours, pupils blown wide with lust and arousal. You’re captivated by him as you automatically continue to thrust at the same steady pace, your hips rolling smoothly. You carefully change your angle slightly, and he throws his head back on the next thrust, mouth open in a silent gasp. One of his hands grips your neck, the other’s fingers clench your shoulder tightly. He comes not long after that. You can feel cum spurting up onto your stomach as he cries out your name. He clenches around you. Heat pools in your groin. It only takes you two more thrusts to come, spilling into him with a shuddering gasp and a few jerky rolls of your hips. Your brain momentarily short-circuits, lights popping behind your eyes. It’s a moment before you pulled out and lay down beside him, kissing him lazily and cupping his face.
“Thank you,” he whispers, causing you to look at him; tears well in his eyes. You sit up, automatically concerned.
“Tim, what’s wrong? Did I-“
“No. Nothing’s wrong,” he replies, “It’s… it’s perfect… finally, it’s perfect.”
He takes your face in his hands and kisses you before simply embracing you.
“I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to feel these things again,” he murmurs, “I thought I’d be broken forever… and you fixed me. You started to fix me as soon as you found me. Without a thought, you were ready to drop everything and help.”
“I didn’t have to think about it… now c’mon… let’s go get cleaned up.”
You press a soft kiss to his forehead leading him to the shower, both of you grinning widely.